CNS Consul Report #50 - June 30th, 2007
Hi guys,
In this email I will be annoucing my resignation from Consul of Clan Naga Sadow, so you'll probably want to read this report for the good stuff at the end. However, there are some loose threads that need discussing:
Total CON Emails: 33
First of all, my recommendation for my replacement is Macron Sadow. He has been doing most of the heavy lifting for the past few weeks anyways, and I think he'll do a fine job. I have already emailed Macron my suggestion for who the new Proconsul of the clan should be.
You're probably wondering about the fact that I'm resigning the moment Macron becomes a Son of Sadow, the first we've had in a while. It's really just a coincidence. Macron becoming a Son has been in the works for a couple of months now, and he would have gotten it whether I resigned or not.
Give Macron your support, because he'll need it. Macron and I basically have the same personality. In fact, he probably has the same personality I had a year ago when I first got Proconsul and Consul. He's a nice, wonderful and dedicated human being, and he'll take care of you, and he'll listen to you, and he'll respect you.
This competition ended already, and I completely forgot that it had. There was only one participant, Imperial, who wins an Emerald Crescent for her effort. I'll be awarding that shortly.
I must say, at this point it doesn't really matter, but perhaps I will take all of the courses that were voted upon. This includes "run-on" which seems to be winning the poll at this point.
There were four SA Courses passed by our members this week.
As has been mentioned before, Malisane was awarded a Grand Cross. This pleases me. I consider Malisane to be one of my closest friends, and he finally has the chance to be in the inner order.
There was one promotion in the clan, Methusel, to Novice. Yay!
In last weekend's ICTE, I earned 3 CFs and Horus earned 1 CF.
In the Sunday Tournament, Ashura earned 11 CFs and Horus earned 1 CF.
sigh
It's only been 11 months and 2 weeks and I really hoped (and assumed) that I'd be in this position longer. It's certainly been a bumpy ride, and I've had to deal with assholes, belligerents, and other undesirables in my time, and I figured I'd outlast all of them. There are several reasons why I'm choosing to step down, starting with the most important one:
A. I have become ineffectual as a leader. In a DB that stresses victory above all else, under the threat of "consequences" to clans that do not do so well, I am not an appropriate leader for this clan. I never really cared about victory in these large competitions, except for a few moments last year when victory actually seemed to be in reach. However, CNS historically always been a middle-of-the-road clan when it came to competitions, with on-and-off performances in these competitions. I always felt that what made the DB so great was that it was a community. However, when I am reluctant to even show up on IRC because people would rather talk about how important victory is, I feel guilty for talking about slurpees and M+Ms. When I told a few of my friends that I was thinking of stepping down, the obvious concern was that leaving a few weeks before the start of the GJW is bad timing. But, to be honest, Macron has been doing most of the heavy-lifting for the past few weeks. This clan doesn't deserve a leader who doesn't care that much about winning.
B. In fact, this fear that me resigning might hurt the clan coming into the GJW is false. Something that I have been trying to instill in you guys, even as recently as two reports ago, was that a Consul doesn't, or more importantly, shouldn't make or break a clan. Yes, I feel awful that I'm leaving at an inopportune time for the clan. My original plan was to leave at the end of the GJW, but it has become increasingly obvious that I lack the desire nor the ability to rally this clan like it should be. If people are not seeing their Consul doing these things, then he needs to be replaced with someone who can. I think Macron is still fresh enough to do that. But honestly, the burden should be on you guys as well. Nobody can do this alone. There is nothing that's stopping one of you journeymen, who might not be in a position, to rally your fellow members. So do it. Support your leaders and support each other, because without that we are nothing as a clan. Your performance in the upcoming GJW will not depend on one person.
C. I'm not just stepping down from Consul. I will be leaving the DB for an unspecified amount of time. 2007 is proving to be the biggest year of transition in my life, my real life, which includes major stuff at work, purchasing a townhouse, and other things. When I wake up and think about the DB before I even think about my future house purchase, then there's a problem. I need to completely clear my head of the DB this summer and fall or risk screwing up something in my real life. I might return at some point, but I don't know. I'm probably in the same state of mind Goatham is in right now. This club is killing me, and I need to take a break from it. My real life is taking a hit from the DB, and if I stayed throughout the GJW (which would run until the end of the summer), I'd risk really blowing something important in my real life.
D. I'm an older member of the DB, and I just get the feeling that this is not my DB anymore. There used to be a time when the DB didn't take these Great Jedi Wars so seriously. It was much more relaxed and much easier to lead a house or a clan. However, today's modern DB is about putting pressure on people to succeed. I'm not capable of doing that. I have been told by several people over the past few weeks that "nice" people don't win battles. I guess the Clan Feud and the 6th Great Jedi War were a fluke then, because I was around for those. I will say one thing, in my real life, being nice has served me quite well in my career. I'm really no different IRL than I am in DB, personality wise.
Do I regret certain things? Yes, and some of them might be considered selfish. I regret being only three weeks away from my one year anniversary as CON and therefore eligible for the first circle of the inner order. I regret not beating Goatham's continuous longevity record as CON of this clan, which I was 83 days away from beating. I regret not inspiring a generation of DB members to see the DB the way I wanted them to see it.
I love most of you guys. I will never be able to express over the internet how much a lot of you meant to me, for better or for worse. In time, there are a few of you that I will consider friends, and perhaps, one day, would like to meet IRL. I really enjoyed the years of talking about slurpees, discussing comparative government and politics, tossing M+Ms at people, and so on. These things would make me your friends if we met IRL, and I have been making an effort to try to keep track of those people on instant messenger, which I will always have, even if I'm not on IRC.
What I'm trying to say is that, I don't want that part of my relationship with some of you to go away like that. So keep in touch.
And finally...get to know the real me. I maintain a personal blog at http://murano.blogspot.com. I'll be writing about my final thoughts on the DB in the coming weeks, and will summarize all of the DB-related blog entries I've written over the years.
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