Competition: District VI: Humor

Lucifer stared at the ceiling fan as it slowly made its rounds. “I wonder what it is that you would wish for if you could talk…” He chuckled softly, closing his eyes as sleep took him.
Upon waking up, Lucifer opened his eyes and his gaze returned to the ceiling fan. “Been watching me this whole time, huh?”
A second voice could be slightly heard coming from Lucifer’s quarters. “I am always watching you Lucifer and I do have a wish, to chop all of your enemies up in my blades until their scream could no longer be heard…HAHAHAHA!”
Lucifer raised his left eyebrow and chuckled. “So, what would my enemies’ deaths gain me?” He slowly stood up, stretching as he went clean up.
The ceiling fan began to spin faster. “You would have to need to fear nor worry about them and could help me achieve my second dream of a female humanoid so that we could be together forever!”
Lucifer laughed softly as he came out from the shower, brushing his teeth. “What makes you think you could be with me dear little ceiling fan?” After brushing his teeth, he got dressed and left the bathroom to find the ceiling fan had stopped spinning due to wires frying. “I always did like my girls over easy and not fried.” He laughed to himself as he left his quarters to find the maintenance personnel.

"My little lightsaber... Without you, I would probably have gone crazy already." Dolash chuckled as he rolled the metal cylinder back and forth between his hands, admiring its immaculate state and complex heraldry adorning it. "You're so pretty. Yes you are!"

He really did love his lightsaber. It had been through everything with him. Well, except the times he had forgotten it or misplaced - never lost - it. Now that he thought about it, this would be his... seventh lightsaber? He recalled Herald procuring it for him and their words to him, "11 and 3/4, made of beskad. It's funny you chose this one, for its sister gave you that scar."

Dolash gingerly felt the mark on his face below where his lekku protruded. He recalled his response, surreptitiously, "That makes sense. Didn't you use the same chunk of beskad that I gave you to make both?"

"Ahhh... right. Well, here's your lightsaber, good luck!!" The office member of the Herald shrunk away, busy as ever.

Dolash used to have so many adventures, he lost lightsabers and replaced others to reflect the changes he himself experienced. However, he had kept this one the longest. He stroked its shaft length to length as the teal blade protruded in all of its glorious size. "My precious."

He flicked the switch on the hilt and the stunning azure blade flickered off with that satisfying thrum.

"Goodnight, lovely," He kissed the hilt once more as he tucked underneath his chin and closed his eyes, returning to his drowsy lull.

Adrestia sat angrily in her chair. She was not used to sitting still; she was used to sailing through the stars and nebulas of the frontiers of Wild space, for months on end with no one outside her crew in sight. She was used to the warm hum of the starships main drive, through the cold durasteel deck. As a girl and then as a young women it comforted her and kept her from feeling lonely.

Now that she was tied to this planet; locked inside this building, she stared at the floor. A warm carpet was stretched across the surface of the floor, but the carpet was dead. It didn’t pulse with life, the warmth was in the fabric not from the heart of the structure and there were no vibrations to sing to her, and rock her gently to sleep the way the engines of a starship still seem to, even today.

So the Gray Jedi Equite sat, in the middle of the dark early morning hours; covered in a cold, sticky, sour, sweat. As she stared at the lifeless floor; her eyes glazed over, dried and became bloodshot.

Starring at the individual strands of the carpet that sprung from the floor in wayward fashion, as if randomly and without purpose; she said out loud toward the floor, in the empty room, “Shab!” she exclaimed.“If this election isn’t the death of me, you will be.”

She said this toward the floor as her fingers traced the outline of a dagger located in the waistband of the small of her back but then she suddenly realized that stabbing the carpet did sound crazy. Questioning her sanity she stood and existed the room in an exaggerated huff.