There once was a boy from the sand
Who saved the princess of a rebel band
One day he kissed her
But she was his sister
So their father cut off his hand.

There once was a planet called Arx
Which was totally devoid of parks
Then the Brotherhood came
and it wasn't the same
because Pravus brought all of his sharks.

Rogue One had an ornery droid
Who was on the whole mostly annoyed
He went on their trips
To offer his quips
And with Stormtroopers mostly he toyed.

There was once a Sith called Kooki
Whose husband said no to nookie
So she grabbed poor Andrel
Threw him down a well
And then went and shaved a Wookiee

The Jedi was wielding a saber
while not on his very best behavior
A cry burst from his lungs
as he stabbed and he swung
'til he impaled an innocent neighbor

Kylo was trained by Lord Snoke.
Who really was not a nice bloke.
His face looked quite scarred,
Or better yet marred,
Which affected the way that he spoke.

First came Darth Plagueis trying to hang on to life
Then Sidious brought war, bringing the galaxy strife
Darth Maul killed the best Jedi of all
Count Dooku tried to make the Order fall
Lastly Darth Vader got angry, and killed his own wife

There once was a senator from Naboo
Who had many plans to do
And what a surprise
For he'd tell you no lies
The tale of Darth Plagueis the wise

There once was a man named Finn
Who saw in Poe something akin
He said, "Tell the world we are bros."
"You are my world", Poe did propose
Never more true, a bromance, had been

There once was a beastmaster in Plagueis,
He deliberately stole Laren's haggis.
They went a few rounds,
Ended up in a town,
And now their bout is replaying in Mos Vegas.

There was an Alderaanian called Kooki
Who wandered around for a look-see
She ate food from distant lands
With her delicate hands
Including a chargrilled Wookie

There once was a pretty girl from Clan Plagueis,
she teamed up with a weird guy called Alaris.
Together they assembled the ultimate Team,
The one and only crème de la crème.
United under a single banner they were known as Selaris.

There once was a woman named Selika.
She looked more like an Angelica
She had quite a temper,
Never would she simper,
She'd give it to you for the helluva!

There once was a farm boy named Luke
Who fell on a romantic fluke
He held her and kissed her
Turns out she's his sister
And now he feels like a mook

When Luke met Leia, he wasn't alone
In his apparent desire to bone
For she gave him a kiss
And before you dismiss
They're siblings and somehow she's "always known"

Taldryan is the best
Taking names like in the wild wild west
You better run and search for cover
Or you'll be unfortunate to discover
That you'll be pwned like the rest.