PALP'S SEAFOOD SURPRISE:
Do you know what my favorite dish is whenever you need to wind down? Have pesky rebels started busting up your empire's superweapons or military operations? Have the rigors of keeping multi-system relationships left you feeling drained and lethargic? If so, then do I have a recipe for this. This recipe is for my very own, patented "Uncle Palp's Seafood Surprise!" Now, who is Uncle Palps? What is the surprise? Well, it might not be as shocking as you think.
So first off, you are going to need rum. And I don't mean just a little bit of rum. This isn't a teen party on Coruscant, lads and lasses. No, you are going to need at least three kegs to even get started. You know, no, make it four. After all, a bit of drink helps the meal prep to pass more pleasantly.
My recipe is pretty simple. So you need three kegs of the finest whiskey you can find. I prefer the Corellian Whiskey, but if you don't have something nice like a bottle of Whyren's Reserve, then I suppose that any old swill will do, but sometimes you have to treat yourself after losing a Star Destroyer, a Vendetta, or maybe just your temper.
1. See, you are going to start with some flour. Now I like to grind some Nubian pom petals into a fine flour, but if you prefer store bought, more power to you. You are going to mix some simple seasonings like Kuati sea salt, some paprika and garlic (preferably nabbed from the cabinets of an Elder because, why not) and a splash of whiskey. Or better yet, a couple of splashes of whiskey. In fact, if you should splash some into your glass, take some time to drink between whisking the mixture together! If you add too much whiskey, add some flour and seasonings until you get something gooey, and sticky like breakfast cake batter.
2. Take a visit to that Elder's pantry and liberate a bit of oil. You are going to need to pour a bit into your saucepan, leaving it plenty hot. Oh, I forgot to tell you how much? Well, just trust the Force and do what feels right.
3. Take your strips of Mon Calamari, and lay them in your batter, turning them around until they are liberally coated. Shake off a bit of that excess batter before you lower it into the oil. Hold that sucker just under the oil to let some of your rage simmer out as the food cooks. You will feel better, and your food will cook better! In fact, feel free to drop that battered bit after that moment of rage. That should (probably) be just the right amount of time to allow it to cook well.
4. After a few minutes, your fried Seafood treats should be finished. Take a utensil to ensure that the meat has been cooked to satisfaction, and then pull it out of the oil and lay upon a cloth to pat dry your Seafood Surpise.
5. Serve with whiskey and tartar sauce.
6. Share with your fellows and make sure not to give away the surprise: that you won't have any more problems with those pesky rebels!
Now, is the time that I list those ingredients:
* Oil (whatever feels right) taken from an Elder's cabinet
* Kuati seasalt
* 4 kegs of Whiskey
* "some" Mon Calamari - a couple of pounds per serving should suffice!
This recipe is a combination of an old family (read my mother made this when I was a kid) recipe that I added a bit of a Dark Side twist to after a Rite of Supremacy some time ago that we may or may not have placed in.
As for a drink to go with that food, well that is a bit simpler than you might think. However, if (lots) of whiskey is not to your taste to accompany some Palp's Seafood Surprise, you can always throw together some Reactor Fuel. Now, the ingredients for Reactor are pretty simple:
* 1 pint grog
* 2 liters brandy
* 1 pint rum
* 3 cups whiskey
* 1 cup of tomato juice
* 3 glasses of Alderaanian wine
* no less than 17 ice cubes (per serving)
* so really, just have tons of ice
* 5 cups hot sauce
* 2 cups citrus juice
1. fill a very large vat with the grog
2. heat the vat to a nice glowing warmth
3. throw in the brandy
4. follow with rum, then whiskey
5. stir for two minutes
6. throw in the hot sauce and the citrus juice
7. keep stirring
8. do a little jig and spin a little rhyme
9. put in your tomato juice, you might finish in time
10. stir the mixture
11. let cool
12. serve with at least the above specified number of ice cubes per stein
The story behind Reactor Fuel is not so fun as the one behind Uncle Palp's. That stuff was the result of an experiment with my Bottle of Sadow!