Competition: A Villanelle

Finished
A Villanelle

Stanzaic Pattern

A villanelle consists of five triplets and a closing quartrain with the ryhming scheme aba aba aba aba aba abaa.

Example:

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. (a)

I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. (b)

I learn by going where I have to go. (a)

We think by feeling. What is there to know? (a)

I hear my being dance from ear to ear. (b)

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. (a)

Of those so close beside me, which are you? (a)

God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there, (b)

And learn by going where I have to go. (a)

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how? (a)

The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair; (b)

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. (a)

Great Nature has another thing to do (a)

To you and me; so take the lively air, (b)

And, lovely, learn by going where to go.(a)

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know. (a)

What falls away is always. And is near. (b)

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. (a)

I learn by going where I have to go. (a)

~ Theodore Roethke

Your objective is to produce a villanelle of your own making.

Competition Information
Parent Competition
A Period of Poetry
Organized by
Lieutenant Creon Neverse
Running time
2022-04-01 until 2022-04-30 (about 1 month)
Target Unit
Entire DJB
Competition Type
Poetry
Awards
Second Level Crescents
Participants
5 subscribers, of which 1 has participated.
Results
Member
General Ronovi Tavisaen
Textual submission

An old man smokes a cigarette and waits
for a northbound bus heading toward the bay.
His head's desired in forty-seven states.

The dissipating smoke around his face
is pleasant in the heated August day.
The old man smokes his cigarette and waits.

The stale ash is strangely nice to taste.
The mist around him swells and turns to gray.
His head's desired in forty-seven states.

He sees the sun upon the Golden Gate,
its bloated waters, cast in pallid shade.
The old man smokes his cigarette and waits.

He has forgotten all the crucial dates
in life, including all the friends he's made.
His head's desired in forty-seven states.

The bus comes 'round, but somehow, it's too late.
He disappears - the mystery remains.
The hunters smoke cigars and lie in wait.
They find his head in the last of fifty states.

Placement
1st place