Competition: [GJW XV Event Long] Fiction - A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Mortis

Secret: Agent Bear

Might be pushing the limit for PG-13. Idk.

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to Mortis

Howie should have been gathering as much information as he could about the Children of Mortis’ organization, yet here he was, frozen, standing in a room full of crystal infused beer. Buckets and buckets of beer…

He happened to come across it while patrolling through the Children of Mortis base. Howie originally was walking around, trying to map out the base in his head to bring back to the Brotherhood. He stumbled upon the room by accident, and he couldn’t be more thrilled.

When it was decided Howie would be the spy, one of his hopes was to find crystal-infused beer, and it finally happened.

The entire room was filled to the brim, and Howie wanted nothing more than to drink the precious liquid. Since he would be the first person in the Brotherhood to drink such a thing, Howie wanted to remember as much as possible when taking his first sip, or hundredth sip. Or perhaps he just wanted to brag to everyone when he got back? Either way, Howie was ready.

Walking towards the barrel in front of him, Howie noticed a nozzle on the front of it. It was as if the universe wanted him to drink it, it was laid out right in front of him. Howie grinned before bringing his mouth towards the tube. This wasn’t the most sanitary, but he didn’t care. He was about to taste a brand new type of beer. If he was caught, so be it.

Howie turned the nozzle, and a few seconds later, a stream of beer flowed out of the barrel and into his mouth. Immediately, Howie was assaulted with the taste of malt. Regular malt. Nothing else. Howie was confused for a second, as it tasted like normal Beer. Stopping the stream of deliciousness flowing into his mouth, Howie looked towards the barrel.

He rolled his eyes upon noticing big lettering carved into the barrel that read out ‘Regular Beer’. Of course. Howie thought towards himself. Just when he thought things were easy, and handed to him on a silver platter, he managed to pick the wrong barrel.

Moving towards a different barrel, he made sure to pay attention to the carved letting in the side, mocking himself as he did. Finding one that said Crystal Infused, he quickly began the process all over again. Bringing his mouth towards the nozzle, and gently turning it on.

As the liquid streamed out of the barrel and into his mouth for the second time, the first thought Howie could think of was magic. This beer tasted magical! It was as if you could combine every appealing flavor into one combination. Howie was instantaneously addicted.

Howie continued to drink the liquid as it quickly spread throughout his body, sending a wave of tranquility and warmth about. He could stay here for hours, he could stay here for days. This was seriously the best thing he had ever tasted before.

“What are you doing?” A voice demanded, suddenly bringing Howie out of his daze. Howie turned the nozzle, and looked towards the door where a crystalized human was standing. Howie had never seen them before, but knew that could mean trouble.

Deciding to wing it, Howie said the first thing that came to mind. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m drinking the crystal-infused beer.” He said honestly. The crystalized human narrowed their eyes at him, before Howie continued. “First of all, it tastes delicious so who wouldn’t want to drink it, and second of all, who knows if I’ll continue to live after the battle, so I thought to myself, why not go for it? You might die, might as well get a little drunk beforehand.”

Perhaps it was the beer that made him so bold. The crystalized human stared at Howie for the longest time before simply nodding their head. “Carry on.” The human said before exiting the room. Howie didn’t move for a second, pondering what just happened in his head. He was lucky that was for sure.

Deciding not to risk it again, Howie made his way towards the back of the room, finding a crystal-infused beer barrel hidden behind all the rest. That way, if someone entered the room, he would be hiding.

Now… time for more of that delicious beer! Howie thought towards himself, before bringing his mouth once again to the nozzle.