Competition: [Pro Bowl VIII: Week One] Fiction

Azmodius awakes to a bright blinking coming from the comm link on his arm. Grumbling sleepily, he opens the encrypted file. “A treasure map?! Looks like we're going to Jedha!”

The trip wasn't too long and he had his trusted companion, Ozzy Pawsborne with him to pass the time. Upon arrival he noticed just how frakked up the planet was. Volcanic ash filled the sky and lava flows for rivers. “Maybe you should stay on board,” he replied to his worried companion. “I’ll be back soon!”

Upon stepping off the ship, he was immediately accosted by none other than four outer rim space treasure hunters. “Ye ain’t takin wuts ours!” and “finders keepers!” echoed from their toothless yapping maws.

“Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way”, the Arkanian replied, “though something in that inbred, toothless, sister-laying, slack-jawed, outer-rimmed, yokel drawl tells me you want to do it the hard way!”

After taking a brief moment to comprehend the insult, the four cried out as two fired their blasters at the Sith while the other two charged him with their vibroblades. Anticipating the sudden attack, Azmodius quickly turned to step out of the bolt’s trajectory and ignited his saber, catching the two vibroblades on either end of his saberstaff. His eyes met one of the treasure hunters and he smiled. As another volley of blaster bolts came at him, Azmodius pushed one of the hunters in their path rendering him dead. In the brief moment the shooting stopped, the Sith turned and swept the blade wielding treasure hunter’s legs out from under him and thrust his saber through his chest. Panicked, and angry the remaining two assailants cried out and fired their weapons as Azmodius slowly walked closer to them, deflecting their bolts with his saber. With every step, the Sith deflected a single bolt back at the assailants, first taking a leg, then an arm, until they were incapacitated. As he stood over the last remaining treasure hunter, he smiled and spoke, “I really do love doing things the hard way.” With a final cry the last hunter died as Azmodius plunged his blade into his chest.

Azmodius looked over next to the treasure hunter’s body and saw a box with intricate carvings that looked too old to not be a relic. “Guess this is what I'm here for”, he said as he picked up the box and walked back to his ship to check its contents.

“Alright Ozzy, Help me out here” he said to his furry companion who came to investigate the relic in his hands. Upon opening it he saw it was filled with ancient coins. “Lets see now, one ancient coin, two ancient coins, three ancient coins four ancient coins, five ancient coins, six ancient coins, seven ancient coins, eight ancient coins, nine ancient coins, ten ancient coins, eleven ancient coins, twelve ancient coins, thirteen ancient coins, fourteen ancient coins, fifteen ancient coins, sixteen ancient coins, seventeen ancient coins... five hundred!”