Specifics

I want you to tell me a story - the premise is simple: for some reason, you are pulling your hapless Aedile out of trouble by the skin of her teeth. It can be any kind of trouble you like, so feel free to exaggerate my stupidity for comedic effect. Make it as long or as short as you please, I'm judging the entries on how outrageously funny they are.

Shinies will go to the best three entries and the number one person gets to be my Black Guard.

Platform

Fiction