Astralis Violentus - scourge of the Nar Shada underworld - lay splayed out in the middle of the forest. An empty bottle of Famous Trovitte Corellian Whiskey rested in his outstretched, upward pacing palm. Arms spread wide, he appeared crucified into the forest floor. He was shirtless, and only his left foot still bore a boot. The right was nowhere to be seen. Vomit stained were present on both pants legs. His hair was matted and likewise reasonable drenched in vomit. He opened his aching eyes and coughed, the jolt of said cough sending a searing bolt of lightning right through the middle of his skull. He looked up at Furios, who somehow stood upright - yet was in a similar state. The tall, lean, and wiry Epicanthix wobbled slightly and then crashed to the ground, sending a puff of dust and dry autumn leaves pillowing up around him. Furios let out a grunt when he hit the ground. Astralis began to laugh then abruptly stopped as another lightning bolt shot across his forehead. The urge to piss was unbearable but Astralis decided not worth the risk and just let it go into his pants. Fuck it, he thought…can’t be worse than the puke. The warm fluid quickly drenched his pants but the relief in his lower abdomen was euphoric. Furios let out a huge sigh and Astralis turned his head towards his former master.

“Sorry, I tried” Furios said as he likewise released his bladder where he lay.

“Got further than I did. I didn’t even get vertical” Astralis laughed. They each lay there for awhile longer waiting for the damnable hammers to quit pounding in their heads. Astralis drew the Force to himself and quieted the aforementioned hammers. He drew a deep breath and stood up. He noticed that Furios had on his right boot but his left was gone. He looked around the clearing and then upwards. His own left boot was tied to Furios’ right and was dangling from a branch thirty meters up a tree. Furios appeared beside him while Astralis leaned forward, rubbing his eyes. The clearing around them was littered with at least twenty empty bottles, half of Astralis’ whiskey and the other half Furios’ vodka. What a night they must have had! “Okay, this is not acceptable” Astralis had gotten a whiff of either himself or Furios, he wasn’t sure which. Epicanthix urine did have a distinctive licorice smell, but then it was hard to decipher between the confit, urine, whiskey and vodka aroma that assailed his nostrils all at once. He cast his senses and smiled, the he and Furios bolted without a word, running as fast as they could off to their left. After forty seconds or so they leaped into the air and flew. Free-falling for a solid five seconds before splashing hard into the lake at the bottom of the cliff. The icy water was a shock. Astralis assumed that the water would have retained its warmth this early in the fall. It wasn’t that big a lake though. So the cool air had leached all the heat from the water already. Despite the cold, ir maybe because of it, the water felt glorious.
Furios and Astralis breached the surface at the same time, madly scrubbing every inch of themselves they could get to. After a minute, Furios looked at Astralis with a somber expression.
“SOMEBODY….has shut my pants”. Astralis roared.
“Only you in those britches, buddy!” Astralis didn’t laugh because he hadn’t checked his own drawers yet. He did so. They were fine. “Hell of a shindig!” Astralis grinned.
“Yep - just one thing missing” Furios pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. Astralis cocked one eyebrow up and tilted his head away from Furios, effectively giving him a side-eye and squinting quizzically. “My birthday cake!” Furios exclaimed.
“Oh yes - I brought one. Not sure if it survived the night or not” Astralis replied as he climbed out of the water. His pants, hair and skin were all in much better condition both visually and in an olfactory sense. Furios climbed out behind him and the hobbled, each with only one wet boot sloshing, back up to the clearing. “Happy birthday, Furry” said Astralis as they walked side by side.
When they reached Furios’ speeder and Irene, Astralis stoooed at Irene and opened the center cargo bin. The cake was nowhere to be found.