I need two people with very specialized skills to help me out in the next weeks / months. Payment in shinies based on performance :)

Opening #1: I am looking for someone with an extremely good vocabulary to help me build descriptive scales for the various abilities in the RPG. This will allow members to view other members' character sheets in descriptive language instead of just a dry conglomerate of numbers. You'll still get to see the raw figures on your own, but for someone else, you'll see what your character would see. This is a relatively loosely timed project that should see results somewhere over the next 3 months.
When applying for this project please include a sample in the form of a 12-step scale for Intelligence spanning everything from "barely able to talk" to "beyond Einstein" (individual scale entries should be a maximum of two words, so no phrases/sentences/novels :) ).

Opening #2: I need a web designer to create a layout that is simple yet fitting, functional and good-looking for an as of yet undisclosed project. Being able to keep your mouth shut is a must. The layout should be created in a way that allows for easy editing of static pages at source code level and/or in Mozilla Composer as well as including it in PHP-scripted files. This is a time-critical project, I would need it done by early April. A link to one of your designs would be appreciated as a reference. Selection of the successful candidate on Sunday, so hurry up!!!

Make yourself known to my usual email address or on IRC if you're interested in either of these two.

~K