Malice slowly opened her eyes, blinking the sleep from them. She sat up, rubbing the back of her head, and looking around.
This was not her room. These were not her clothes. These were not her ears. She ran her fingers over them, trying to keep her cool. Spotting a mirror on the opposite wall, she threw herself out of bed, searching her reflection in a slight panic. Her ears had a slight point to them now, and she was in some sort of nightgown. It was a very soft material, almost silk like. She cringed at being in such a ridiculous outfit before glancing around.
"You find a set of traveling clothes, a quarterstaff, leather armor, a scimitar, and a traveling pack." A voice echoed, sounding more like it was in her head than anything. Frowning slightly, she turned, indeed finding everything the voice had just described. She hadn't seen it there just a second ago, but perhaps her eyes were just playing tricks on her. she pulled the other clothing on quickly, wanting the nightgown off of her as fast as humanly possible.
"Don't you mean half humanly possible?" The voice sounded like it was very proud of whatever pun it had just made.
"What do you mean? What's going on? Who are you?" She asked out loud, frowning to herself.
"Cause..cause you're a half-elf. Get it?"
"She wouldn't get it, jokes aren't her thing." A second, female voice spoke up. She spoke the truth but Malice's question still hadn't been answered. She decided to ignore them for the time being, stepping outside of the door and out into the hallway. It seemed like she was in an inn of some sort, and when she found the set of downwards stairs, she followed them cautiously.
The bottom floor was some type of bar or pub and was empty minus one figure who sat eating some sort of meal at a table nearby. He turned to look at her as she entered the room and her eyes widened in surprise.
"Malice?" He stood from his seat at the table and walked over to her. "I don't know what's going on, or where we are. What happened to your ears?"
She clapped her hands over them immediately.
"Nothing, ok? I don't know! Have you seen anyone else that you know?"
"No one has come in except you. You and the bartender over there." He pointed to the bar, where the bartender had clearly heard their conversation and had begun to frantically scrub one spot of the bar over and over. Flashing each other a look, the two of them approached the man, leaning against the bar.
"You seem pretty nervous for someone just here to wash dishes. You know something about all this?" Malice asked, trying to play it both cool while still being intimidating.
"She's a cute little half-elf! She isn't intimidating!" The first voice said. Kalon glanced around like he heard it as well but didn't say anything.
"Roll for intimidation." It said again, and after a short time, the female voice sighed.
"Yeah, the man is nervous but isn't going to tell her anything."
"Leave it to Kalon, he can get the job done." A third, slightly accented voice said. "See? 18."
The man behind the bar watched as Kalon leaned in closer, his voice painted with a very dangerous expression.
"Listen, we're very confused, and very on edge, which doesn't usually turn out well for people like you."
"I don't know anything I swear!" The bartender insisted, sweating somewhat. "All I know is that if you finish this quest for me, I'll reward you for it."
Malice raised an eyebrow. A quest? What kind of nonsense was this man talking? On the other hand, perhaps he'd reward them with a way back to the station. She and Kalon exchanged a glance before nodding to him.
"Fine, what's the quest?" kalon asked. The man told them of a nearby cave, that was the home to a terrifying creature. It had been visiting the village by night and stealing the people's belongings. He had lost a very valuable artifact and needed it back immediately. With directions to the cave, he sent the pair of them off, still both as confused as they had been.
Once outside, the two of them quickly scanned their surroundings. It seemed like a standard village, not too poor, not too rich. The people were beginning to wake up and walked out of their homes, offering friendly waves to the two of them. Neither of them returned the smiles, instead looking around suspiciously.
"So you hear them too." Kalon said suddenly, though only loud enough for her to hear.
"The voices? Yeah, I have. I'm not sure where they're coming from. Does someone have us chipped?" Malice answered, running a hand through her hair. It was a seemingly normal action, though she was really doing a quick check to make sure she didn't have any devices on her head, allowing whoever the voices belonged to access to her thoughts.
"We could always ask them." Kalon suggested as they continued down the path that would lead them to their destination. With a nod from his Journeyman companion, he cleared his throat.
"Alright, no more games. Who are you, and what do you want?" He demanded.
"Seriously, Matt? Being the DM doesn't mean letting them break the fourth wall." The female voice spoke up, sighing. "This is weird. What are you supposed to say to the characters you've created?"
"Just answer and get it over with, won't you? Then we can continue on." The accented voice said, sounding slightly irritated himself.
"Hey, Kalon is all yours. YOU can deal with him."
"Fine." The accented voice cleared his throat as well. "I'm Jarak. I'm your creator, and we have a similar drinking habit."
Kalon's eyes narrowed, but the two continued walking, now out of the town and walking through open fields. Malice could tell he had more questions but decided to speak up herself.
"Come on, there's at least two more of you." She said, waiting for their response. The female voice sighed again.
"Fine, I'm Amber. Mal, I'm your creator and-"
"And she's not nearly as cool as you are, Mal." The voice who had identified himself as Jarak said. A muffled "ouch" followed quickly, indicating he'd received some sort of punch, and the female continued.
"and I feel weird talking to you. There, Matt, it's your turn."
"What? I don't have to do it, I'm just DMing."
"You said everyone, mate." Jarak noted.
"Fine. I'm Matt. You don't really know my character. His name is Abadeer."
"That cocky Togruta? We've seen him around." Kalon replied. "Now, what was that about being our creators?"
"We don't have time to explain this entire thing to them. Matt, let's keep going." Amber said impatiently.
"Fine fine. Let's see, it looks like they're just now approaching the cave." Matt announced. Kalon and Malice looked up and sure enough, the cave they'd been told to find was indeed coming into view.
"We'll just ignore them for now. Let's get this done and get out of here." Kalon murmured to her. She nodded, tightening her grip on her quarterstaff. The cave was smaller than they'd expected and seemed to only have a few connecting chambers within. They stopped in front of it, and Kalon pulled out a large sword.
"Can you use that?" Malice mused, smirking at him. Besides his lightsaber, she'd only really seen him use blasters. Neither of said weapons had been anywhere to be found that she'd noticed, and she couldn't help but think that they'd probably come in handy right about now.
Kalon swung the sword in front of him, connecting with a small tree and cutting it clean in half.
"I think I can handle myself." He said.
"Alright, I want to check for traps." Amber said.
"Malice notices a trip line at the entrance of the cave."
Looking down, the half-elf frowned slightly. There was something a lot less satisfying about being shown the trap instead of finding it herself. Kalon must have seen her reaction because he nudged her.
"Just play along with them. This is going to be a lot easier than we thought, and the sooner we get out, the sooner we can get back to the clan." He said. Malice nodded, seeing the truth in his words. They carefully stepped over the wire and into the cave. It was very dark, For Kalon, that was. Malice was surprised to find that the dark didn't seem any less visible than the outside had been, and blinked in confusion.
"Why can't Kalon see as well?" Jarak asked.
"Kalon isn't a half-elf. he's just a human. Half-elves can see 60 feet in the dark." Amber said happily. Malice grinned at Kalon, who couldn't see the grin quite yet, but he knew her well enough to know when she was getting full of herself and thumped the back of her head.
"I call a foul, he can't do that to her. He can't see where she is yet." Amber said suddenly, making both kalon and Malice flinch.
"You can't call a foul, he's already done it, you numpty."
"I'm allowing it." Matt decided.
"I hate you both."
Once they'd finally settled down, Kalon and Malice took a look around. Noticing a few torches on the wall, Malice dug through her bag until she found a small tinderbox. She quickly lit one of the torches and handed it to Kalon.
"There, now you're useful again."
"Watch it, Journeyman. I don't need the force to crush you."
They started down the only hallway connecting to the first room but paused when they heard Amber speak again.
"I want Mal to scout ahead. She's got double proficiency in stealth. She can give them an advantage."
"Fine, roll for stealth."
They seemed to wait for Malice to start going on ahead before they continued talking.
"She finds one door up ahead. It's shut tightly, and she won't be able to open it by herself." Matt said.
"Ha! That's what you think. I'm rolling for strength."
There was a long moment of silence before Amber spoke up again.
"Yeah, better bring Kalon back with you."
Malice turned around, rolling her eyes at their argument, and got back to Kalon.
"There's a door up ahead. It's the only exit it seems. And I apparently can't open it." She told him. He nodded, seeming up for the challenge, and walked up to the door. Handing Malice his torch, he placed his hands firmly on the door and pushed.
"Jarak, roll strength."
"The door groans before falling backward, landing loudly on the ground. The room on the other side has lit torches on the walls, and a large table in the middle. Scattered around, you see many different, seemingly useless belongings. It looks like the hoard for whatever you've been sent to fight. On the table is the item the bartender described to you. Before you can reach it, however, the noise of the door has drawn some nasty looking cave dwellers to you. Roll initiative." Matt said quickly.
Malice and Kalon looked around as three reptilian looking creatures came slowly towards them.
"What are these?" Kalon hissed.
"I don't know, they're nothing I've ever seen before. "
"Psst, they're called Kobolds." Amber said quietly. They were very ugly looking, but were not as tall as Malice and especially not Kalon.
"My initiative is 16." Jarak said.
"Mine is 20"
"Alright, Amber. You go first."
"Cool, Malice is going to take out her short bow and take a shot at the nearest Kobold."
In all honestly, Malice had lost track of just what she was carrying in her bag. Reaching back, she felt the smooth finish of what he assumed was a short bow, and retrieved it. She found the small sling of arrows and pulled it over her shoulder, taking one out and aiming.
"Does a 15 hit?" Amber asked.
"Uh, yeah. Roll damage."
Malice released the arrow, sending it plunging into the Kobolds ribs. It took a few steps back, howling in pain.
"It's pretty badly hurt, but it's got enough left in it to keep going. It's also his turn now. Jarak, does a 10 hit you?"
"You are so full of sass today." Amber said under her breath.
"Alright, then it's your turn." Matt said, waiting for Jarak's response.
"Kalon is going to take his huge sword and go for the next closest Kobold. Does an 18 hit?"
"Yep, roll damage."
"You've chopped off one of his arms, but he tells the others in his language that it's just a flesh wound. He simply switched to holding his spear with his other hand. Now, does a 14 hit you, Jarak?"
"Uh, no it does not."
"Amber, does a 17 hit you?"
"Yes. Yes it does."
"Alright, Mal is going to take 6 damage. The Kobold she shot slashes her a few times with his dagger. But now it's her turn again.
"Then she's going to take out HER dagger, and stab him too. 13?"
"Alright, the damage is going to be 7."
Malice grinned, gripping the handle of the dagger tucked snuggly against her calf and plunged it into the creature's heart. He toppled over, his body spasming a few times before he went still.
"Jarak, does a 2 hit you?"
Jarak didn't answer.
"Yeah, I didn't think so." Matt laughed. "You're up."
"Does a 12 hit?"
"Alright, 9 damage."
Kalon swung his sword back, letting it down right on the Kobold's shoulder. His other arm was chopped off, and before he could run away, Kalon had taken his head clean off of his body. Ir bounced to the ground, tongue slightly out of its mouth. Now there was only one Kobold left, and with its friends gone, it eyed the two of them in worry.
"Can they do a cool team attack?" Amber asked. "Come on, it's the only time we're using them as D&D characters. Please?"
"Alright! Let's have Kalon launch Mal off his sword and at the Kobold, and she can stab him right in the head."
"I need a strength check from Jarak and a very high acrobatics roll from Amber."
"Kalon's strength got a 20."
"And Malice's acrobatics got a 22! Is that high enough?"
Malice grinned, holding her dagger tightly. She reached a hand out and felt Kalon take it, hauling her up and onto his sword, which was angled slightly to allow her to stand on it. She braced herself as he quickly pushed off, giving her enough momentum to do a nice flip in the air before plunging her dagger straight through the Kobold's skull. Its eyes were now frozen, wide in terror. Malice landed gracefully, stowing her dagger back into its case and walking over to retrieve her arrow from the chest of the first Kobold.
"Well done, you two. I'll distribute gold and experience after we're done, even though technically we'll never do this again." Matt announced. "Now, luckily for them, and because it's late and I want to go to bed, the fearsome creature isn't anywhere to be found. However, if they take the treasure they've come for, it'll upset the monster, and it'll unleash absolute terror on the village when it returns."
"But will we get to go home?" Malice demanded.
Without needing to consult in any way, Kalon picked up the treasure and stowed it in his bag.
"Come on, guys. You're just going to take it without any second thought?" Matt laughed.
"Are you kidding? This is Team Asshat we're talking about. Of course they don't care. They just want to get home." Jarak countered.
"He's got a point." Kalon agreed. "Also, what is an Asshat?"
"Nevermind it." Jarak's accented voice replied.
And with that, they're adventure was done. Kalon and Malice returned to the village with their found treasure, and the bartender kept his promise and sent them back home. They both woke up in their own beds, and neither had ever been so happy to be in their own rooms again.