Sapphire Squadron Report #Sextuplicate (White, Blue, Canary, Pink, Green, and Goldenrod)

-Commanders' Word-

Okay so yeah, i'm a day late again. RL comes first, though, and i'm not about to fail physics for you lot :P

Orian Invasion's over, good job everybody. Now we can all go back to living in normal conditions rather than cramped bunks on a Star Destroyer.

It's been another quiet report period, so i need to fluff up my report. Once again, i turn to my fanmail.

(As always, apologies to Neurotically Yours, etc etc)

StarLion's Fanmail III: Ashia to Ashia

Fred, hit me!

Fred smacks SL's leg with a flipper

Funny. Very funny. Letter.

Fred barks, and hands over a letter, which SL rips open and reads

"Dear StarLion,

I know that the holiday season is still over a month away, but I would like to submit my gift list for consideration..."

SL mumbles a bit as he reads over the list to himself

Oh brother. Okay, what to do with this.... something with flame comes to mind.

Fred makes a few sounds

You think? I'm sure they'd find the remains eventually...

Fred shrugs, SL gets out a pen and starts to write

"Lost and Confused, your list was highly amusing, though the request for a blow-up doll in the shape of an Ewok was slightly disturbing. While I think your intentions were good implying that I should be some sort of 'Santa' figure this holiday season, my response will have to be an emphatic 'no', on several important grounds. Firstly, I dont care about you. Secondly, I do not have time to waste flying about the Orian system for the sole purpose of giving things away. Lastly, the items requested are beyond even the Grand Master's ability to bestow. I do not have a spare couple of Star Destroyers to throw about.

Your Lord And Commander,

StarLion"

Fred, get me another letter, and something strongly alcoholic.

Fred hands SL a letter and a bottle. SL opens the next letter while letting the bottle empty itself over the mail bag

"StarLion,

Why do you continue to write these pointless fanmail entries in your reports? Noone really cares about it, and it serves no purpose in the report. Please consider revising your method of constructing reports.

Signed,

Someone"

yay, another critic. Okay, lets get this started. Fred, you can take a smoke break.

Fred barks, and wanders off, SL gets out his pen again

"Dear Southbound end of a northbound mule,

The purpose of the fanmails in the reports is to have fun. I enjoy writing them, some people enjoy reading them. I'm sure your immediate response to that is the standard 'a report is to let your superiors know what's going on'... bull. I'm not here to make my superiors feel good, and i'm not here to justify my position. I'm here to have fun, maybe cause a chuckle here and there. If'n you dont like it, stop reading. Still here? Good.

Signed,

Your Lord and Commander,

StarLion"

Fred wanders back into the room

Fred, lighter.

Fred shrugs, and tosses the lighter to SL, who sets alight the spilled alcohol and mail

A fitting end, methinks.

-Medals-

We're still waiting on the wave of OI medals to come through, so i expect this section next week will be.... existant.

-Other Activity-

I'm gonna be looking into creating a document or two over the next few weeks... keep your eyes peeled. Might be interesting to get some reaction.

-Afterword-

This week, i've decided to put out one of my typical puzzles. An easy one, mind you.

Mal's Mischief (2-star)

Malik got drunk again last night. This is nothing new, obviously, but last night he was supposed to be recommending the medals for the Orian Invasion competition. Instead, he ended up making the MAA's office very confused, though amused. Using only the clues below, can you identify who each recommendation was supposed to be for, whom the reccomendation was actually listed for in the MAA mail, what medal was supposed to be recommended, and which one actually was?

Clues:

1. There were 5 medal recommendations. Each person only received 1 recommendation. Anubis was one of the people. Malik called someone Tuesday in his recommendation. Someone got recommended for a Pair of Fuzzy Dice.

2. Four of the people recommended were Ashia, the person he called the Green Fairy in his recommendation, the person for whom he recommended a bottle of moonshine, and the person who should have gotten a Dark Cross.

3. Devani was supposed to receive an Amythyst Crescent; The person who was recommended for a Roll of Wallpaper should have been awarded a Grand Cross.

4. The person who Malik called Homsar in his recommendation, who wasnt Ashia, was supposed to be awarded some Cluster of Fire's.

5. Malik called Vexatus 'a rock' in his recommendation. He was not the one who was supposed to receive the Dark Cross, nor the person who was supposed to receive a Steel Cross.

6. The person Malik mistakenly called Fred, who wasnt recommended to receive a butterknife, is not Kaelin, who was recommended to receive a festive wreath.

In Darkness Serve,

Krath Priest StarLion

Commander, Sapphire Squadron

Dark Librarian of Loki

Dark Jedi Knight Emeritus