SAPPHIRE SQUADRON REPORT FEBRUARY 28TH, 2008
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>INTRODUCTION</td> </tr> </table>
Like most (at least for commanders of Sapphire), this past week blew by in a Bud Light-drenched haze of bar hopping and toilet soiling. The shameful truth of the matter is that my life has devolved into a vicious cycle of drink, f***, crap, drink, crap again, pass out, wake up, drink, rinse and repeat and as anyone who has ever seen me on the tail-end of this cycle will vouch, the rinse is optional.
The debauchery has sunk to such a level that I cant recall the last time I went to sleep by choice -- you know, actually looked at a clock and said, My gracious, the time is late. I should get some sleep. Instead, night after accursed night, I hurtle towards exhaustion with a fistful of cheap trucker speed in one hand and my penis in the other, hoping -- praying -- that the next unattractive stripper I approach will have enough toot in her snoot to block the odors emanating off the 7-layer dip encrusted on my unwashed underwear.
If you dont keep your eyes on the road, life will knock you into the gutter. Lucky for us, the gutter is infinitely more interesting.
It just occurred to me that I have no idea where I was going with this. Screw it -- cut the losses.
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>REPORT SUMMARY</td> </tr> </table>
New Squadron XO
Coming and Going
Promotions and Awards
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>FRESSH NEWS</td> </tr> </table>
#001 - New Squadron XO
It is with a great honor to award Warlord Macron the XO of Sapphire Squadron.
A past Commander of our great squadron, he will be a great asset to the Command of Sapphire, ie. Me.
Congrats Mac! (Now I can go on a nice vacation and not worry about what will become of Sapphire......I think.) :P
#002 - Coming and Going
Lets Start with Coming:
(No Vacany)
And now Going:
None.
#003 - Awards and Promotions
Lets Start with Medals:
None.
And now Promotions:
None.
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>THE CLAN ARTISAN'S COMPETITION</td> </tr> </table>
TOP PRIORITY!!!
Please send all of your Artisan's Competition submission to:
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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>THE USUAL SUSPECTS</td> </tr> </table>
CMDR/SBL Bob _[ Drunken Kresshian ] _
Stuff.
FM/PRT Naiia Munlear _[ Ensign ] _
No Activity.
FM/JH Kairus _[ Ensign ] _
On Leave.
FM/SW Devani Kiriana Maharet _[ Ensign ] _
IRC Activity.
FL/JH Davin Olar _[ Ensign ] _
IRC Activity.
FM/JH Joseem Maruuch _[ Ensign ] _
On Leave - 3/11
FM/SBM Starrett _[ Ensign ] _
IRC Activity.
Applied for BTL of Jade Serpents.
FM/PRT Vorion _[ Ensign ] _
IRC Activity.
Posted on Artisan Run On.
FL/SWL Mononoke "Macron" Keibatsu Sadow _[ Bouncer ] _
IRC Activity.
Applied for Squadron XO.
Posted on Artisan Run On.
FM/PRT Pylarus _[ Ensign ] _
No Activity.
FM/OT Morrigan Ryukossei Jade _[ Ensign ] _
Email Activity.
FM/GRD Fenris _[ Bouncer ] _
IRC Activity.
Applied for Squadron XO.
Posted on Artisan Run On.
Completed ACC battle.
_NOTE: No Activity doesn't mean you didn't do a damn thing...It just means I just didn't see you do a damn thing :P
Also, if you don't tell me about it I can't report it._
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>CONCLUSION</td> </tr> </table>
Sapphire Squadron "Escort" Service Open for Business
Being the all-round do-gooders of House Ludo Kreshh, Sapphire tries it's very best to please. We offer a wide range of services to satisfy your every whim and desire!
Escort Services - They don't call us The Escort Squadron for nothing...for the smallest of fees, any member of Sapphire is willing to accompany you during those embarrassing "oh crap I haven't got a girlfriend" situations. Despite our limited number of female members, us male members are more than ready to put on a blonde wig, leather skirt and crotchless panties (not supplied)...if it weren't for the stubble you'd be hard-pressed to tell us from the real thing!
Grooming Services - Obviously our job is to make sure that we have our heard firmly inserted as far up our commanding officer as is humanly possible, and we will go to any length to ensure we're always in the goodbooks. We'll clean, polish, buff and shine anything from your smelly shoes to your soiled underwear...and the great thing is we'll always have a smile on our face.
Discipline Services - Sapphire believes in adhering to the traditional iron-fist Imperial way of authority. If you are having trouble with a fellow member, then just send him round to Sapphire, and Commander Robert Daragon will be more than pleased to discipline said pilot accordingly. From past experiences we would suggest that you bring along some sort of friction burn cream, as well as bandages and anti-septic lotion. Bob does certainly enjoy discipline.
That is all!
SBL Robert Atema Daragon(Sith)/CMDR/Ludo Kressh of Naga Sadow
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