And here it is. Another report/annoyance by Crazy Mal. If you're smart, you'll delete this mail and/or disengage this browser window right now. Smart people need not read my insanity. However, if you are dumb, messed up in the head or just plain like a bit of fun strewn across the otherwise pristine and well-organized world of the Dark Jedi Brotherhood, keep going. A warning: this may not live up the sanitized content you've been encouraged to expect from the wiki staff. I believe our sins are what make us interesting, so I'm sure to sin at least thrice throughout this report. Jesus died for your sins. I do it just for your mere entertainment.

Enjoy this stuff. It's a freakishly strange amalgamation of my own thoughts and opinions, comedy routines that I've seen and/or listened to and some rather viable Clan news. I try and follow the rules. But, some of them can be bent. Others can be broken. I do my best to break stuff, so let's see how I do. Oh. Many of you clamored for some pics of the ever popular "mirror". Don't worry CON's, none of you are featured here, but this is the best I can do, so far. Please enjoy this.

ahem

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>INTRODUCTION</td> </tr> </table>

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I hate emo and scene kids. Soooo much. Even still, watch that video. She's soooo annoying, but...and I might be the only one...I would rip that daisy from her hair and that ring from her lip and "marry" her. She's quite cute, for a youngling. Hatred and violence solves plenty. That's what the Dark Jedi Brotherhood was founded on, so that's where her and I diverge. Even still, take the time to enjoy almost ten minutes of what messed my keyboard up last week when I originally intended to do this report. Oh, before I forget, the language in this video is somewhat harsh. I guess "it's time to share the love, not the hate" doesn't apply to profanity. I'm not big on razorblades, so it's not much of an issue for me. While I apologize profusely for the lack of input from my friends and family (I'm not on the Sprint telephone plan), this report is happening anyway. I currently have four family members and two friends that are waiting on entry to the DJB, they all still need to pass the Test of Lore. Can you say "slackers?" They're driving me crazy. I told the one that his aunt Maybeline probably wears a buttplug, but then I realized that I was talking about my aunt too. Family is confusing. But then, we can solve that problem. Lightsabers > wire coat-hangers, last time I checked.

Because of circumstances quite beyond my control, I've been elected Rollmaster of not one but TWO Houses of Arcona. That kinda makes me the Arcona Rollmaster. Does that mean I get special toys, ACC weapons or wiki permissions? NO. Gondor wants no king. Gondor needs no king. Well, you get the general gist. I'm just like everyone else. Only a bit more saucy and loose at the lips during these reports. My gift for this assignment is to ASSault you all every so often with rancid and insipid mails that most of you will probably delete anyway. I'm confident that at least one of you will read this far down on each report, so that is all the thanks that I require.

Hillary's officially a goner now. She can't win. But hey, write her in anyway, if you're American and plan on voting in November. You won't do any more harm than anyone else will by doing that. Or...just stand back from the whole process entirely. That way you can criticize whatever happens and be justifed in doing so. Just like me. Democracy pwns! (Unless you're a dude that pretends to be a girl. That gets dancers kicked out of strip clubs, but we love having them in the DB.) Having said all of that, welcome back to Xizor, who shall be forevermore known as Sammael. Do Arcona proud!

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>ARRIVALS AND DEPARTURES</td> </tr> </table>

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IN:

• Ird dark

• Zora

• Levakis

• Mendaar Ukri

• Beppo Weok

• Chucky

• khobs

• Scorch

• loader scith

• Omega Prime

• Malen

• Xizor

OUT:

• I could name a few, just to make people login and check their status', but I won't. Zero people wanted out, or at least

acted on the impulse. If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. If Kaek's awol-check thing becomes a horse, Mal might ride

:P

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>PROMOTIONS</td> </tr> </table>

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Acolyte:

• ACO Fajhal

Novice:

• NOV Zora

Apprentice:

• APP Levakis

• APP Beppo Weok

• APP Scorch

• APP Chucky

• APP Omega Prime

• APP Mendaar Ukri

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>AWARDS</td> </tr> </table>

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Cluster of Fire:

• ACO Fajhal (2)

• ACO Raith Xderon (2)

• OPM Quejo Drakai Xyler (3)

• DJK JScumm (1)

• OP Malidir Trepidus Erinos (1)

Crescent with Ruby Star

• DJK Illian Syn (1)

• SBM Zandro Savric Erinos (1)

Crescent with Amethyst Star

• JH Legorii (1)

• DJK Talos Taral (1)

• DJK JScumm (1)

Crescent with Sapphire Star

• JH Legorii (1)

• DJK Draco Maligo (1)

• OP Malidir Trepidus Erinos (1)

Crescent with Emerald Star

• ACO Fajhal (1)

• DJK Quejo Drakai Xyler (1)

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>SHADOW ACADEMY COURSES</td> </tr> </table>

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OT Etah d'Tana (4):

• Dark Maven - Philosophy

• Old Republic History

• History of the Sith Empire II

• History of the Sith Empire III

ACO Fajhal (1):

• Obelisk Core

NOV Zora (1):

• Pre-Republic History

APP Levakis (1):

• ACC Initiates

DJK JScumm (1):

• ACC Initiates

DJK Talos Taral (1):

• Dark Maven - Leadership

ACO Raith Xderon (1):

• Training Saber Basics

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>RANDOM MUSINGS AND/OR NEWS ITEMS (yes, you have to read these too)</td> </tr> </table>

<p> Jac Cotelin is the new Seneschal. He doesn't want the job, so people that know stuff about making code do stuff try and be more betterer than him. The Headmaster is looking for auditors during the summer months (June-end of global warming). Apply to him and Dacien if you want in on the mayhem. Raken has a lot of great new detail regarding the DB plot up on the newspage. I won't link you...you should seriously know the newspage by now. Galeres is looking for a new AED (hurry hurry), with 2 days left until the end of apps. Reginald Denny is now an honorary member of the DB, thanks to the efforts of Muz, Ashia and Exodius (I think I read that Exo was there, if I'm wrong, argue with me). Big thanks to these cats. Going out of their way to make new relationships. Life beyond myspace really IS rewarding! Gah, my bad, it's Troy Denning. I get mixed up. I blame the holiday. Either way, Reginald took a lot of stuff, and didn't back down, so he's far from a poor role model. I haven't read Troy's stuff, but, based on the sales, I have to assume it's awesome.

Just to let you all know, if you feel the need to protest anything that I say in this report, take it up with Rho, Zandro, Sashar or Mejas. You can always contact me as well, but I can't really say how effective that will be. I say what I think, and I stand behind all my statements. That's not to say that I'm always right, but I've been pretty accurate over the years. The movie Twister was filmed based on my predictions. And don't even get me started on Myanmar. I actually used to have a Burmese friend. He was really good at basketball. I haven't seen him in years, but I'm hoping for the best.

Check this link for competition information. Just sift through it and find the stuff that's relevant to you and your area(s) of expertise. IGs are over, but my comps prevail. Do my flashy comps. They aren't really that hard. Participation isn't tough. Doing well isn't tough. Make it happen. I want to toss awards at you guys. You deserve it.

"I want to see at least one day where everything's okay...where there's no fighting, where there's no fighting between scene kids and emo kids, okay?"

Go out there and do stuff. I got some flash comps up, there's a run-on going on, there's always the daily gaming and weekly ICTE events. Plus, I'm working up a trivia event, but it might not be quite what you're used to. there I go again, pushing boundaries.

Last word. I suck at pool, am horribly out of shape for basketball, but I'm a damned good Golden Tee player. It might be my calling in life, but my mom usually hangs with me or beats me. That's my personal goal for the week...to keep my family at bay and try to do my thing. It can't hurt. Plus, those beers at Buffalo Wild Wings (thanks for the sponsorship, guys!) aren't the cheapest in the lower 48. Live! Love! Eat!

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>DEDICATION</td> </tr> </table>

<p>

I love this part of my reports, I really do. I just can't come up with a good person to dedicate this one to. Ahhh, I got it. This one goes out to Sarin (no, I'm not kissing up, he knows better). He was an excellent gaming management (COO) dude in the Emperor's Hammer Tie Corps. When the Bounty Hunter's Guild broke from the EH, he was there - and I watched. Seeing his brazen idealism come to fruition with his current position of Grand Master says it all. Stuff was wrong, he spoke out. His ideas were not heard, he acted. He's worked his ass off here - and in the EH - with much of that time being spent serving the US military abroad. Some would call that high dorkery. I call it a true passion. Not just for his country, and what is right; but also for doing his best to look out for those in his care. Now, if he resigns next week, I'm going to feel pretty silly, but still. Hats of to Sarin and the rest of the armed forces in the world. I can move a mouse and click my way to victory sometimes, but he and his lot do it for real. Thank you.

Mal

Rollmaster/Plenipotentiary of Clan Arcona

First Blade of Galeres

<p> **

OP Malidir Trepidus Erinos (Obelisk)/RM-RM-TRP-EP/Galeres of Arcona <font color="#FFCC66"><small>[GMRG: IND]</small></font> <font color="#FFCC66"><small>[ACC: CL:3]</small></font>

<small>GC-PoDP / SC / AC-ToDS / DC-CP / GN-BL / SN-BL / BN-AgL / Cr-1D-13R-15A-15S-12E-6T-1Q / PoB-EL / CF-DF /

DSS-BL / SI / SoF-BL / SoL-BE / LS-AuL / S:-22D-5Do-6Dk-9P</small>

<small> {SA: MVN - DML - DMW - DMP - DMH - DSLC}</small>

** </p>

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