Hey all! I'm back from vacation, my pallor is now decidedly less unhealthy/strat-like, and I'm younger and handsomer than ever before! (Aside from the haircut which was recently and rightly recognized as being 'positively 70s'.
And by 'positively', they meant it sucked. :P
Anyway, enough about me, awesome though I may be. I can see some of you wondering 'but Tim? Didn't you, like, do a report five days ago?'. And I'll say that yes, I did. Nevertheless, I wanted to write another report for several reasons. First of all, it'll allow me to get the drop on everyone in listing events, etc. Second of all, that'll boost my ego in the Arcona snob channel. Third, this will boost my sycophancy levels, already at an all-time high, to previously unknown levels.
(Note to watching superiors: Promote me. Please? :P)
That said, let us now go to the meat of Arcona's best weekly report! ;)
From the Front Lines:
Although I'm loath to say it again: We're still winning. Mostly because we rock and all the other Clans are more full of suck than a CSP female after a two hour PM session. We're a hundred points ahead of tall, and CSP has actually beaten them...so much for the DJB's premier gaming team.
This week's Special Kudos:
-First of all, congratulations to Jscumm and Taigikori being, well, JS and Taigikori, getting first and third place respectively. Congratulations to you both! Second, my congratulations to Tirano and Wolvie, who managed to get us eight and ninth, and thus, more top placings than any other Clan, as well as an all-out victory at this event.
-Here, again my congratulations, this time to Taigikori (3rd) and Legorii (9th)! Congrats guys!
-The ACC Team: Again, we're doing great in this event, and while judging proceeds slowly, the common theme is that we are, pound for pound, kicking the other Clans' asses. This cannot be overstated enough, because while it looks like we have the lowest number of participants, we also have the highest skill of any DJB Clan in said team. There's bad ACCers, good ACCers...and then there's Arcona. That's just the way it is.
Events:
http://www.darkjedibrotherhood.com/gjw9/
As always, there's the above URL more chock-full of information than Strat is full of Dash after a whole weekend hanging out together. Hell, it's more full of information than I am full of me after a week of contemplating my proper place in the universe. The events, for this week:
Mistaken Identity:
Now that we've pwned everyone and their mom at elimination, the 'tradtional' gaming front has somewhat lulled. This means that the time to go andon' kick Tal's balls at this event is NOW. TFFA TFFA TFFA! Similarly, team EaW. We have JS, which means we might as well win automatically, since he's the DJB's EaW God.
Simulator:
Start game, use mouse to press on enemies. How hard can it be? As always with submissions, remember to attach your PIN and Dossier number.
Heat of the moment:
All but over by now, I doubt that, at the current pace, we'll have scores for this by next week. That said, good job guys. No homo.
The Garrison:
Everything I said last week still holds true here: Write write write! You guys are the best. Throw out five pages of pwn for the glory of the Shadow Clan. I know you can do it...hell, Cpers can apparently make top ten at fiction events. Are you going to tell me you can't?
Orders:
As always, this is Arcturus' terrain. Look to him for this stuff. I gather that he's busy, but he's still our go-to guy, along with the Sashar himself.
Depiction:
Still the same as lost month, really. I'm trying to find video software or something similar. If any of you guys have this/know where we can download reliable software, tell us all! I would be eternally grateful if one of you guys could give us some basic hints for this.
Code Breaker:
It's broken, and I gather it sucked harder than Eludajae trying to write an ACC battle. Next!
Briefings:
Trivia stuff, w00t! Some of our guys tend to do quite well at this, but we can always use more warm bodies. Good luck, guys. If you just remember to read up on this week's storyline, you'll generally do well.
Instruction:
Again, this is technically someone else's baby (in this case, the inestimable Taig's!), but he's been very vocal about reminding us that we need to kick ass at this event, because right now, we're behind some of the Brotherhood's more retarded Clans. While I'm sure some of you sickos enjoy having a retard before you, I bet that on the whole we would really rather not. :P
Non-war News:
Awards! :o
Yeah, I know. Z0mg awards. I'm impressed and amazed, and all that. But yeah, there's three guys who have received Seals of Loyalty recommended by Clan Arcona's leadership, and I'm happy to say that all three of those are Galerians! They are:
Jscumm! Etah! And me!
W00t! Since we have three people with awards, that means drinks are on Etah and Jscumm.
Finally, a word to our newer members: If you joined within the war, it is possible that you may have fallen through the cracks of our somewhat haphazard change in management. Hence, if this is the case for you, and you are in Galeres, throw Etah and me an email with what you've done so far, so we can know if we should promote you or whatever.
Conclusion:
This week's Culture Ship: The So Much For Subtlety was a warship, specifically a General Systems Vehicle, as I recall it. Why was it named that way? Because it was eighty miles long. It, indeed, rivaled me for subtlety. :P
Finally, no real message. Let's just go out and pwn the lesser Clans. We're well on our way...let's not drop the ball at the endgame. I know we can win this, and that's why I love you guys.
In, of course, a completely heterosexual way. :P
Cyall online,
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