DIAMOND SQUADRON REPORT SEPTEMBER 20TH, 2001
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="#CD0000"> <tr> <td>DEDICATION</td> </tr> </table>
As you all know by now we have lost someone very dear to us in House Ludo
Kressh this week.
Its a strange thing feeling sorrow when thinking of him as he some how always managed to put on smile on people's faces.
So I dedicate this weeks report to
Dark Jedi Knight Neo.
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="#CD0000"> <tr> <td>THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE EWOK</td> </tr> </table>
I've only known Neo for a short while, but in that time we shared some great times. And while it is indeed a sad time in Clan Naga Sadow, Neo was all about having a good laugh. So I'd like to share with you the memories I have of Eddie the Ewok.
In January of this year he joined Sapphire squadron. Joining CrimsonAngel, Malik, and myself; he helped us in our daily quest to drive Quaestor Goatham insane. A task that Neo put his full effort into. He quickly became very attached to the ventilation shafts of Kressh palace, in fact he could get anywhere in the palace through them but mostly concentrated on a certain female dark jedi's room.
When he wasn't working on annoying Goatham, he was spending his other time drinking (which is a pre-requisite for Sapphire pilots). Many a mornings he woke up in the salad bar or other various unexplainable places.
He took on many responsibilites in the squadron. He was Sapphire Squadron's Dealer of Cards, which hosted all of our sabacc tournaments. He was the Head of Sapphire's Gambling Society, which took bets on various things (like how I got Trev's topless picture). He created Sapphire's very own Drunk's Guide to the Alphabet, which serves as a training manual for Sapphire pilots.
But Neo will most likely be remembered most for his relationship with Fred the Seal.
(A close second would be his favorite pink furry handcuffs)
During a 80-day drinking binge I was on, the new Commander of Sapphire was worried for my personel seal's saftey and appointed a new guardian. The lucky individual was Neo. The two quickly hit it off, late into the night you would hear the two lovers in the ventilation shafts of Kressh palace.
But one day their relationship seemed to be ending. Fred had been secretly seeing Janos Silverwulf on the side and then I came back from my "vacation". Fred would be forced to make a decision on who he wanted to be with.
After a week of agony for the individuals who were involved, Fred picked his true love of his life, Neo. Neo being so overwhelmed with love, proposed to Fred and Fred excepted. Neo was as happy as a Dark Jedi could be.
And than once again tragedy erupted. Trevarus Caerick broke into House Ludo Kressh and assassinated Fred in front of everyone's eyes. Neo was devistated. He refused to except his husband-to-be was no longer with him and with the help of CrimsonAngel quickly found out the truth. It had all been faked, it wasn't an assassination it was a kidnapping. Fred had been kidnapped by me and taken back to House Marka Ragnos.
Along with the rest of Sapphire, Neo assaulted the Dark Cathedral to rescue his love. While I was in a heated battle with CrimsonAngel, Neo snuck up behind me and smashed a vodka bottle over my head (it still hurts just thinking about it). The two lovers were once again re-united.
For a while Neo held a great grudge against me. He accused me of Seal Abuse and even planned my demise.
_"What we do is disgused as aubergines waddle up to Bob shout "Die Kartoffen sinf kommen" in his face, paint him pink to match his orders robes and then we sedate him with the Big Mallet." _
"Whilst he's out cold we then marry him to this charming Barnowl I met yesterday. Once the ceremony is over, we then send them on a honeymoon to Nal Hutta and sell Bob to the Hutts as a slave dancer."
Lucky for me those plans never came about. But soon he came around and forgave me and even asked me to marry him and Fred. Thus the wedding of the century occured.
Everyone who was anyone was at the wedding that brought together the greatest lovers in the entire universe. I was lucky enough to help in the ceremony as was Quaestor Goatham who served as Neo's bridesmaid. The wedding went perfectly and the two were pronounced ewok and seal.
With a husband to support, Neo started to open up companies around the Dark Brotherhood. Things like Sapphire Incorporated Lobotomies and the CNS Clothes Shop. He even took a position in House Bob as the COW (Charge of Women). But everything else would be put aside when he was given the position of Aedile in House Marka Ragnos.
Along with this position came the rank of Dark Jedi Knight, and what that meant was something Neo had been waiting for his whole career. Neo was able to construct his very own lightsaber. His excitement was beyond words.
Sadly, that would be Neo's last task among us. His life cut drastically short, he had only begun to live.
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="#CD0000"> <tr> <td>FINAL WORDS</td> </tr> </table>
There's not really a whole lot I can say. Everything else in this little online club are pretty insignificant compared to someone's life. We wil move on, after time, but it will never be same.
For the test of the heart is trouble
And it always comes with years.
And the smile that is worth the praises of earth
Is the smile that shines through the tears.
DJK Bob-Fett(Sith)/Ludo Kressh of Naga Sadow
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