Greetings Taldryan,

What? An Alaris Report?

I spent much of my time updating you on things using the email system technology, but I’m terrible at reports. I’m afraid of coding and I’m always afraid it’s going to look like garbage, which I’m sure this one will, too. But here we are and lemme dive right in!

FEUD

It’s finally here! Desperate Measures, a Clan Odan-Urr/Clan Taldryan event, starts Monday! That’s soooon! This is going to be a joint event, which is going to mean essentially that you can draw your teams from both Clans. A Team Fiction, Team Multimedia, Run-On, and Battleplan are going to require you to put together a team. So think about who you want to work with. Sign-ups are Right Here

Of course, in addition to that, we still have Alaris’s ridiculously easy...

Alaris’s Series of Series, Part Deux

You all know how this works by now. Poetry and Trivia once a week, but THIS time, we’re doing three month long fiction comps. Round One involves hunting down a creating an NPC Inquisitor who is acting as Alaris Jinn’s spy inside Clan Taldryan. Don’t kill him/her off, though, because you’ll need that NPC for Rounds Two and Three. If you don’t end up participating in round one (Desperate Measures takes precedent), I have a pre-made NPC for you to use in Rounds Two and Three who I will link in those competition details when it is made available.

Seals of Loyalty

For those of you who didn’t get a chance to see it, Aiden and I have awarded three (make it four, thanks to Aiden insulting a DCer) Seals of Loyalty to our membership!

Andrelious is our beacon of activity, who recklessly throws himself into pretty much every competition that is available to him.

Vodo, our new Dinaari QUA, is our wise old learned Summiteer who also keeps me in check.

Rian, our Ektrosis QUA, keeps a cool head and helps drive our activity.

Justinios, our up and comer, has proven in first few months that he will be a force to be reckoned with in the future of the Dark Jedi Brotherhood.

Take some time to congratulate these four badasses!

Another Moment with Alaris

For those of you who don’t know me all that well IRL, I’m a professional actor, which means I’m serving tables. I work at a fairly well-to-do restaurant downtown Toronto smack dab in the entertainment district. That means we get celebrities come through. Last year, we saw the likes of Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Hudson, Elizabeth Moss, Liev Schreiber, and I served Russell Peters last week who tipped 40% on a fairly substantially sized bill.

But the winner has to go to Woody Harrelson. His film, The Edge of Seventeen, was having a party in our upstairs private dining area, The Director’s Lounge. He came in, bottle of red wine in hand (and what are you going to do, say No to Woody Harrelson?), and asked for two glasses, which he held in one hand and promptly filled up. His personal assistant also got him a third glass of wine and a Grey Goose and Soda. He placed one glass on the table behind him and immediately knocked it over, sending it falling to the floor and shattering at his feet.

Guess who was the closest nearby and got the esteem honour of cleaning up his mess. Duh. The entire time he kept apologizing profusely, and no sooner had I cleaned up his spectacle did he take his entire entourage and dip off to some other private party. This was a span of probably eight or nine minutes.

“What did you do today?”

“Cleaned up after Woody Harrelson.”

TL;DR

• Alaris sucks.
• Feud incoming!
• Alaris’s Series of Series, Part Deux
• Woody Harrelson made a mess

I have the honour to be your obedient servant,

A (dot) Jinn.