Acolyte Kylex vs. Battlemaster Lexiconus Qor

Acolyte Kylex

Journeyman 2, Journeyman tier, Clan Scholae Palatinae
Male Human, Sith, Sorcerer
vs.

Battlemaster Lexiconus Qor

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Scholae Palatinae
Male Quarren, Sith, Techweaver, Krath
Comment

Welcome to the ACC, Kylex, and congratulations on completing your first match!

The first thing that I would like to say to both of you is that it is very important that you get someone to proofread your posts before you submit them. There were a bevy of errors made in this match that could have been avoided by having someone else just simply look over your posts. When I say it's important, I mean that, because I have neglected to get someone to proof my posts before and it ALWAYS results in me losing Syntax points, and a lot of times, Syntax can be the difference between a winning post and losing post.

It wasn't in this case.

Kylex, I want to commend you on your writing. Your first post was difficult to read, but I was able to follow along. Your second post was very well written. There was humour, action, and an interesting, though farfetched, ending. You got a slight realism dock for the way Synin died, but it was interestingly done, so well done.

Lexiconus, you had multiple Realism docks which led to the result that we have. You need to develop a stronger grasp of things that are and aren't likely. I say this because it isn't the first time you've had some pretty glaring realism errors. You always tend to have interesting matches, if somewhat cliche, but you quite often lose due to realism. My examples here are that you had Kylex fire off two shots and climb out of a hole and run to surprise a guard. There would be no surprise after that point. Several points in Star Wars canon where we see someone getting shot at and then immediately responding.

The other issue was Kylex's use of the lightsaber, which you specifically mentioned precision. If you look at the article about Form 0, it mentions the words "unpolished, slow, and basic." None of those imply any kind of precision. In addition, you didn't actually have any combat against your primary opponent in either of your posts, and that's going to dock you further points.

This comes down to a combination of Story and Realism and ultimately I have awarded the victory to Kylex.

Congratulations! Do not let my commentary here deter you from the Antei Combat Centre. We are very happy to have you and work with you to develop your skills as a combat writer, and we hope to see more from you in the future!

Hall Unconventional Hall - Old Container
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Acolyte Kylex, Battlemaster Lexiconus Qor
Winner Acolyte Kylex
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Acolyte Kylex's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Battlemaster Lexiconus Qor's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Begeren – Ion Cannon, Co-Op
Last Post 17 October, 2016 5:31 AM UTC
Assigned Judge Adept Alaris Jinn
Syntax - 15%
Qor Kith Kylex Sanguris
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: You had multiple errors throughout the post, but nothing too bad. Rationale: Your first post was very poorly formatted which is why you had such a poor grade here. You also made several punctuation errors and missed words.
Story - 40%
Qor Kith Kylex Sanguris
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: You had zero actual conflict with the primary opponent in your first post, nor in your second. You had other aspects that kept things interesting, but this match was supposed to be Lexiconus and Kylex vs Synin Tonin. I wanted to see that and didn't get to until Kylex's final post. Rationale: I would have liked to see some more direct combat against Synin Torin, but what you did write was interesting.
Realism - 25%
Qor Kith Kylex Sanguris
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: You can see the notes, but you had multiple Realism errors which led to you only getting a 3 here. I highly recommend you have someone go through your posts with you in the future to make sure that you're not making errors like this, because they appear to happen often. Rationale: It seemed a little farfetched that an Elder would fall so easily to a Battlemaster and an Acolyte, but the way you played it helped your story, so I'm not going to dock you too much. Be careful about understanding the opponent's character sheet in the future.
Continuity - 20%
Qor Kith Kylex Sanguris
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: I didn't see any issues. Rationale: I didn't see any issues.
Qor Kith's Score: 3.55 Kylex Sanguris's Score: 4.05
Posts

Combat Master’s Note: Because you are matches against a member of your Clan, this battle takes on a unique format. You will be encountering Synin Torin with an ally. Treat Synin Torin as you would any other ACC opponent. You WILL be judged using the ACC rubric, so the person posting the best story will move on to subsequent rounds. If you wish to fight your Clanmate as well, you may, but this is not in any way a requirement.

Begeren. Once a prosperous Sith world, it has been the site of numerous battles throughout the millennia. Grand halls and monuments were torn down and re-purposed by looting Republic forces thousands of years ago, before they were driven from the planet. Isolated settlements still dot the planet's surface, but the inhospitable, craggy, and desert-like terrain, along with the beasts common to many desert and Sith worlds, have kept most humanoids from colonizing. Occasional skirmishes have left debris scattered throughout the desert, and battles were fought here as recently as the Galactic Civil War. The planet is now under the control of the One Sith and is rumored to be full of all manner of priceless, ancient Sith artifacts.

Begeren’s plunder has been rich, and the Clans and Houses have been bolstered, both by the favor they are currying with the Grand Master, and with their own triumphs against rivals. More fighting seems to have occurred between the Clans and Houses than against the One Sith, and the stream of priceless artifacts has slowed to a trickle as of late. The invasion of Begeren has now entered a wholly different phase, and though the end goal of capturing the world’s precious secrets remains the same, the methods of achieving it have changed. At least for now. The Dark Council has identified several settlements and key military objectives to seize, both for use as staging grounds, and to quell any revolts against Brotherhood authority before they begin. It has fallen to the Clans and Houses to seize these objectives, with large accolades and bounties to those willing to undertake dangerous missions, alone, into hostile territory. Despite the recent inter-clan aggressions, the Dark Council has made it clear that the bounties for taking objectives cannot be shared between units.

One such objective, a V-150 Planet Defender ion cannon, lies nestled in one of Begeren’s northern mountain ranges. The inhospitable and semi-arid region is known for its relatively cooler temperatures compared to the rest of the planet, and is home to one of the only active spaceports on Begeren. Though most of the region is patrolled by local militias, a sizable One Sith presence is thought to be in the area. An enormous feminine stone face, carved into the side of a towering cliff side, overlooks both the ion cannon and the neighboring spaceport, paying homage to a long-dead female Sith Lord.

You and an ally stand in a massive scree field beneath the adorned cliff side. The dark side is almost palpable here beneath the monument, but your true goal is the installation and the massive ion cannon immediately to your west. The installation is lightly guarded, and can be accessed by a natural, mountainous tunnel entrance. The entrance is well-lit and quite large for a tunnel access shaft, big enough for the heavy machinery needed to construct and maintain the massive ion cannon. The tunnel itself splits a few hundred yards in, leading to two separate objectives.

There are two main objectives: the fire control and targeting room, and the main power generators. Intelligence reports indicate that the fire control and targeting room is manned by two gunners and two-to-three militiamen from the local settlement. Intelligence also reports a light contingent of three guards and a slew of power droids around the power generators. Finally, there is a One Sith engineer thought to be working in the installation on some kind of upgrade, and he is likely to interfere with your mission. Which objective you choose depends, in part, on whether you wish to take or destroy the ion cannon. A barracks is not far from the ion cannon, and it’s possible that the One Sith could be lurking closeby should you arouse suspicion.

You and your ally cautiously enter the tunnels, unsure what exactly awaits you beneath the giant stone monument.

Two beams of light slowly scanned the darkness of the tunnels, as they stepped their way through. Lexiconus and Kylex hugged the left wall, while the humanoid hummed a childhood lullaby.

“Are you absolutely certain we are going the right way, Human?” Lexiconus grumbled, Kylex couldn’t see it but the Quarren’s face scrunched as he spoke.

“Hmm?” Kylex didn’t appear to be paying attention. “Oh! Yes, yes yes! This is what the schematics tell us; take the eastern tunnel, until we reach a hatch. Not a hutch, there’s no Lothal Hares here.” Kylex chuckled at the notion, and started to make hopping noises. Lexiconus grumbled to himself but remained submissive to his directions, he did feel more life signs the closer they walked. Echoes of engine sounds whirred above their heads, the low vibrations rumbling through their bodies. It told them they were close. The Acolyte’s hands began to pat and press on the roof of the tunnel, his fingers tapping. Then he heard the familiar ping of metal.

“We found it, wonderful. Let’s go paint the room red!” Kylex giggled in joy and excitement, beginning to climb by placing his feet on the walls. A tremor through the Force fed Iinto Lexiconus, the Battlemaster felt a strong group of life above, their feelings more focused and confident, than angered. Lexiconus grabbed Kylex’s arm as quickly as he could.

“No,” He whispered, very wary of not disturbing the group above. “There’s people above us. They’ve stopped by the hatch and are waiting. Keep down until they’re gone.” The Battlemaster could see in the dim light that Kylex was pouting, but he remained fixed on the wall.

“Which way are they facing? Do they know we’re coming?” Kylex replied with a whisper, his question was sincere but naive. Lexiconus grumbled to himself, questioning the teachings of Kylex’s master in his native tongue.

“What? No, that’s not how the Force works in this instance. Just be patient.” The Battlemaster tried his best to teach the Acolyte, but as Kylex slowly inched up the wall, Lexiconus could see it wasn’t working.

“Who is going to have better chances of seeing a flaw here? A greenhorn to the Force, or an experienced veteran in war?” The Human hesitated at first, whether to take it as a threat or a compliment, but he eventually nodded with agreement and climbed back down. Lexiconus sighed with relief and started to make his own way up to the hatch, pressing his head against it and raising the lid very carefully. His scan caught the sight of three guards, talking amongst themselves, and countless other droids patrolling and clunking around the room. His face scrunched and snarled in anger at the sight of the GNK droids, but he needed to focus on the mission. Lexiconus carefully looked to his right and saw the power generator, humming and whirring with life and light. Lowering the hatch his with head, the Quarren slowly slid back down and approached Kylex.

“Okay, listen up. There are three guards facing away from the hatch, and those infernal boxes on legs walking around. What I need you to do, is to kill those guards quickly, while I enjoy myself slowly imploding the lesser ilk.” His tone changed to a growl when mentioning the droids, but Kylex nodded in understanding. The Human slowly worked his way back up the hatch, pushing the lid open. His DL-18 blaster already in hand, Kylex fired two shots into a guard’s chest. He rushed to the surface in order to surprise and tackle the second guard, falling onto the ground. Lexiconus took advantage of the distraction to climb to the hatch, but as rubble and dust fell beneath his feet, the Quarren continued to trip and slide back down. Kylex fired another two shots at the guard in front of him, his body flipping down the hatch and crushing Lexiconus. A short and bloody gasp was all Lexic heard from the final guard, while he struggled to toss the body aside. He gritted his fangs together and pushed with his might, rolling the corpse to the side. With a sigh of relief, the Quarren lay back down to catch his breath. As he looked up the hatch, Kylex peered down with a cocked head.

“I thought you were going to take on the infernal boxes on legs?”

“I just needed some time to think about the best possible…” Lexiconus gave up halfway through his lie and sighed as he stood. “I couldn’t climb up the hatch and your friend here pushed me back down.”

Kylex offered his hand down and pulled the reluctant Quarren up from the hatch. Lexiconus climbed and pushed his way up then started to brush the dust and sand from his cloak. The duo heard a woosh of the service entrance door, and turned to see three additional guards rush out with rifles aimed at them. Behind them, a crooked and tall man limped into the room, Lexiconus could feel the Dark Side bursting from his life essence. He raised a hand to point at Lexiconus and Kylex, as he gave an order.

“Kill them both, I want no more disruptions!” He said with a croaky voice.

“It’s the Sith, run!” The Battlemaster roared, as he pushed Kylex ahead of him.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 24 October, 2016 3:16 AM UTC

Realism/Story

Kylex chuckled at the notion, and started to make hopping noises.

Nice job using your opponent's aspects.

Realism

He rushed to the surface in order to surprise and tackle the second guard...

Doesn't seem likely that it would be a surprise after firing two shots already.

Story

“It’s the Sith, run!” The Battlemaster roared, as he pushed Kylex ahead of him.

I would have liked to see you actually have conflict with the primary enemy here.

“What? That old fart?” Kylex giggled as the panicked Quarren shoved him out of the room and into a long hallway, locking the door behind them. With a click, the sound of the activating lock sent a wave of relief through the Battlemaster. “We’d better hurry.That Sith will be through that door in no time.” “Was it necessary to be so forceful?” The Acolyte grunted as he rubbed his head. “I could have gotten brain damaged. “Not that you already are,” mumbled Lexiconus. “Now , that Sith is gonna open the do…” His sentence was cut off as the door slid open, revealing three angry looking guards and one furious Sith. “Blast ‘em!” One of the guards yelled, raising his blaster to fire at them. Kylex and Lexiconus ran down the hallway as blaster bolts flew past them, each narrowly missing them with an ominous sizzle. The Quarren grabbed his lightsaber, ready to defend himself against the flurry of death hurtling down the hall. As the Acolyte bumbled in front of him, Lexiconus activated his lightsaber and swung it around, deflecting several blaster bolts. “You fools!” The old Sith angrily. “You are letting them escape!” The guards began to give chase, but they stopped as a thermal detonator fell to the ground. “Boom boom baby,” smirked the cheeky Acolyte as he turned a corner at the end of the tunnel, quickly followed by Lexiconus. A violent explosion sent the guards flying backwards towards the old Sith, setting the hall on fire.

“When did you manage to throw that?” The Battlemaster inquired. “Simple, I clicked the boom button, then threw that sucker as hard as I could,” said the acolyte cheerfully. “I sure hope those lousy guards are paste in there.” “I doubt that, I can still sense their presence,” muttered Lexiconus. The two nodded and then observed the room they had just entered. The room was round, white and had several hallways branching off. Each hallway had a sign above it, dictating what rooms lay beyond them. “So, what did the intelligence report say was our other target? Human?” The Battlemaster queried. “Oh yes, there should be a room called 'fire control' somewhere,” he said, eyes gliding over the signs on the wall. “There!” He exclaimed loudly. Kylex began to enter the hallway, but was stopped when he heard a mechanical whirring above him. Looking up, he noticed a hole appear in the ceiling, and from it emerged a small quad laser turret. Instinctively jumping back, Kylex extended a hand as purple sparks erupted from his fingers, leaping towards the turret and frying its circuits. “I wish I could do that more, it is so much fun!” The Acolyte said with a childish tone as he immaturely let out another bolt. “Stop that, you are wasting your energy,” said Lexiconus cautiously. “We need to proceed, and let's hope that little stunt of yours didn't attract too much attention from the other guards.”

“Ten four Mr. fun police.” Kylex pouted as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. The pair walked down the long, half-lit hallway, the floor creaking with every second step. As they approached the door to the fire control room, Lexiconus laid out a plan of attack.

“Now Human, if the intelligence is good there will be 5 or so enemies in that room. In the event that the Sith is in there, we will need to...” His words trailed off as he watched the Acolyte ignite his lightsaber, and plunged it into the door. The door slowly slid open, and Kylex stood there with an evil grin on his face.

“Who wants daddy's belt?”

Adept Alaris Jinn, 24 October, 2016 3:16 AM UTC

Syntax

You had several errors throughout this post. One of the biggest was your breaking up of dialogue, or rather your lack of it. Each person speaking should be their own paragraph. It would be prudent for you to get someone to proofread your posts before submitting them.

The old Sith angrily.

The old Sith what angrily?

Story

each narrowly missing them with an ominous sizzle.

This is really cool imagery here.

“I wish I could do that more, it is so much fun!”

I liked this. It's kind of meta, as if your character is aware that as they become stronger in the Force that such power awaits them.

The wails and screams of the militia men echoed from the room and down the hallway, as Kylex’s lightsaber forced their demise. His untrained red blade sliced and stabbed the members with admirable precision. Lexiconus could see from the chest wound in a corpse near his feet. As Kylex cackled out with excitement while murdering his enemies, Lexiconus slowly entered the fire control and targeting room, he sat himself down on the console and navigated his way through the system.

“The good thing is, this console isn’t protected with security. He input his codes before he died, lucky us. Bad thing is, the self-destruction command is protected with security codes.” The Battlemaster grumbled as he stroked his tentacles, his thoughts deep. Kylex looked around at the bodies and found the situation puzzling to himself.

“Do you need a security card of some kind? Like an identity device?” The Acolyte said with caution and worry, as he has seen this card before. Lexiconus slowly turned to Kylex, giving him a confused stare.

“The Sith has it, doesn’t he?” Kylex nodded and kicked the corpse, focusing his gaze somewhere else than the angry Quarren.

“Sith has it. Sith is large and powerful, and has an army of droids. Can’t kill Sith just yet.” Lexiconus nodded in agreement, but he had an idea. To bait Synin out.

“But we can kill his droids, he will notice their lack of obedience and come limping.” The Quarren replied, Kylex hopped in joy at the idea of making a droid scrap metal. Lexiconus smirked, he didn’t mind either. As the Battlemaster stood and stepped over the corpses, Kylex sprinted from the room, his lightsaber ignited and waving around, and began searching the nearby rooms for droids. Lexiconus finally exited the murder room and admired the view of Kylex destroying a GNK droid that came near him, when he felt an unfamiliar signature. He turned to look down the west hallway, and his eyes met a humanoid droid slowly marching towards them. The security key in its hand.

Well this should be fun…

While his glowing, ruby eyes met with Lexiconus’ sapphire glare, the Quarren called out to Kylex. The Battlemaster unhooked his lightsaber and ignited his crimson blade, patiently waiting for the Acolyte to return. Speeding around the corner, the Human jumped over Lexiconus, tumbled across the floor and stood ready.

“Ta da! I’m here to murder you and use your parts for our profit! Shall we dance, my dear?” A beaming smile left Kylex, while he stood and brought his lightsaber up and ready. The Battlemaster felt something different about this droid, however. A shimmering essence left his body, and it felt cold with the dark side. Lexiconus tapped Kylex on the shoulder and pulled him close.

“Be careful with this one, Acolyte. He has been finely tuned by his master with the dark side. He can do things other droids cannot. Once you kill him, his master will come for us. And he will be furious.” Lexiconus whispered, then pushed the willing Acolyte forward to the fight. The Human chuckled to himself and started to swagger towards the droid.

“Oh I’m supposed to cause a tragedy! Director? Director! What are my lines? I’ve forgotten what I’m supposed to say. Ugh! I was so looking forward to my big break on the holostation! Okay, well how about this,” Kylex began to cough and test out different pitches and lines of his voice, when the droid interrupted.

“If you can’t go back to your mother’s womb, you better be a good fighter!” The droid shouted out, Kylex hesitated as it caught him off guard.

“He’s good, I like him. It’s a shame we can’t keep him active.” With a bright and confident grin, Kylex weaved his lightsaber down to his side and rushed the droid. Blaster bolts sprayed and fired around the corridor, while Lexiconus deflected them away, he noticed a change of concentration in Kylex. He felt like he wanted to win. He wanted the power.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 24 October, 2016 3:16 AM UTC

Realism

His untrained red blade sliced and stabbed the members with admirable precision.

He wouldn't have any precision at all.

Syntax

The Battlemaster unhooked his lightsaber and ignited his crimson blade.

This is a little clumsy. You reference the lightsaber twice in different ways in the same sentence. It would have read better as: "The Battlemaster unhooked his lightsaber and ignited it" or "...lightsaber and ignited its crimson blade." It would have flowed better.

As the Acolyte closed the gap between himself and the droid, he retrieved his DL-18 from his jacket, squeezing several blasts at the droid, shooting out its right eye. The droid recoiled, trying to refocus its aim with only one eye on the Sith.

“Hard to see with one eye huh buddy?” Laughed Kylex as he quickly dropped onto his left hand, delivering a swift kick below the droids chest plate, sending it tumbling down the hall. The satisfying crash and clank of metal reverberated throughout corridor, pleasing both Kylex and Lexiconus. Kylex stood up, stashing his blaster in his jacket, and placing his lightsaber on his belt. The droid attempted to recover from the kick, standing up to see Kylex waltz over to it, delivering a solid punch to the droid's head.

“I don’t need no lightsaber to kick your behind scrapheap, now, I’m about to rock you. Like a hurricane.” He said, kicking the droid in the face. “How does my boot taste?” As he went in for another kick, the droid grabbed Kylex’s foot, throwing the Sith over its shoulder into the wall. Kylex slid down the wall, hitting the floor with a thump as the droid stood up. As the Acolyte slowly got back up, Lexiconus, who had been observing the fight, noticed the young Sith’s eyes change colour. Kylex was seething with rage, the Dark Side overflowing from his being as his eyes changed from violet to yellow.

“Bad mistake, droid.”

Kylex leapt at the droid, drawing his right arm back and delivering a solid strike against the droids faceplate, the sheer force behind the punch surprised Lexiconus. The Acolyte began to lay into the droid, strike after strike denting its armour until he saw the spine of the droid. Kylex plunged his hand into the droid, wrapping his fingers around the spine.

“Die.” Said the Acolyte coldly as brilliant purple jolts escaped his fingers, surging throughout the droid, instantly frying its circuitry. The droid slumped over as its internals popped violently as Kylex let go of its spine, watching it hit the floor.

“Well done human.” Spoke the Quarren as he walked to Kylex. “That should draw the Sith to us.” Kylex nodded in agreement, his eyes returned to their natural purple colour. The Acolyte attempted to stand, but he fell back down, to exhausted from the battle.

“Rest.” Spoke Lexiconus. “I shall find you a stimulant.” The Quarren walked off as Kylex let out a sigh of relief. The young Sith lay on the pile of scrap, carefully listening to Lexiconus rummage through the control room. Kylex started singing to himself, childishly humming away as Lexiconus returned with a vial of sorts. The Acolyte sat up, letting Lex inject him with the serum, the curious liquid flowing into him. Kylex’s eyes lit up as newfound energy flowed through him as he jumped up quickly.

“Oh my, what magic is this?” He marveled, his curiosity of what the liquid had been boiled over. “It was just an adrenaline shot that should boost you for the while” Said Lex, retrieving the security key from the fallen droid. The two walked back into the fire control room, Lexiconus placing the key card into its slot while Kylex sat in the corner, absorbed in thought. The Quarren began to input the codes to unlock the self-destruct sequence, the two both felt a dark presence approach.

Show time.

The control room seemed to go dark, the tension of facing another Sith in combat excited the Acolyte, it was his opportunity to become stronger. The two unclipped their sabers from their belts, igniting the blades in preparation for the Sith’s arrival. A door near the end of the room began to slowly open, too slowly. A mangled corpse had somehow gotten the mechanism of the door stuck!

“Need a hand their limpy?” Kylex remarked, admiring his handiwork. The Acolyte looked down at another body, noticing a rather dangerous looking explosive on the dead man's belt. He knelt down, detached the grenade from the man’s belt, setting it to pressure sensitive. Looking back up he could see a pair of angry eyes peering through the door, Kylex smiled.

“Hey gramps, how good are you at catching?” He said, lobbing the grenade at the door. The old Sith extended his hand, using The Force to try repel the grenade back at the two. Lexiconus ducked, expecting the grenade to come back, but was surprised when he heard the explosion a bit further away. The Sith didn’t know the grenade was pressure sensitive, so it had exploded in his face.

“HAHAHA! YOU OLD COOT! Didn’t think I was that stupid did you?” Kylex laughed. “I sure hope you are alive back there, I wanna introduce you to my blade.” A cough was heard from behind the door, as the smoke cleared two yellow eyes pierced through. The door opened fully, the explosion knocked the corpse away. Wiping the soot from his face, the old Sith stepped through the door, followed by a ASN-121 droid and some form of interrogator droid. As the door closed, the Sith drew his lightsaber from inside his robes, igniting it’s brilliant purple blade.

“Time to die.” He said coldly, pointing at the Acolyte.

“Just me? You sure you want to take on a Mandalori-” He was cut off as the Sith unleashed torrents of Force Lightning at Kylex. He braised for impact, but the shock never came. He looked up to see Lexiconus’s red blade deflecting the lightning into the ground.

“Whoa… Thanks for the save buddy.” Kylex said with relief as the Quarren shot him a dirty look.

“Focus on your enemy human.” Said Lexiconus. “I won’t do that again.” Kylex nodded in apology, readying his blade to face the Sith. Kylex’s senses went into red alert as he dodged a blast from the ASN-121 droid. Lexiconus used The Force to crush the interrogator droid as Kylex shot the ASN droid down with his DL-18. “That's your droids taken care of, prepare yourself for trouble!” Kylex said triumphantly, looking at Lex. “Come on. Say it like we practiced.”

“Ugh... And make it double…” Muttered the Quarren. The two raised their blades, both jumping at the Sith who blocked both attacks with his saber. The outraged Sith shot more lightning at the pair, but they were ready this time. Lexiconus stepped forward, absorbing the lightning with his saber and redirecting it towards the ground, while Kylex rushed forward, shooting the old Sith in the foot. The Sith recoiled in pain as he hopped on one leg. With this opening, Lexiconus jumped forward, impaling the Sith with his lightsaber. The Sith’s lightsaber deactivated, hitting the floor with a loud clang.

“Good. We can send this place sky high now.” Said Lexiconus, walking over to the blood soaked control panel. The Quarren put the codes in to unlock the self-destruct, setting the timer for 10 minutes.

“Human, we must leave.” He said, turning around to see the Acolyte engraving ‘Kylex was here.’ Into the Sith’s corpse.

“Alright boss man, lets hightail it.”

Adept Alaris Jinn, 24 October, 2016 3:25 AM UTC

Sytnax

Your formatting was much stronger in this post.

Story

Kylex leapt at the droid, drawing his right arm back and delivering a solid strike against the droids faceplate, the sheer force behind the punch surprised Lexiconus. The Acolyte began to lay into the droid, strike after strike denting its armour until he saw the spine of the droid. Kylex plunged his hand into the droid, wrapping his fingers around the spine.

This was really cool to read. I would have liked you to add something about Kylex's hands getting bloody from the attack, but it was still very interesting and well written.

Realism

Lexiconus stepped forward, absorbing the lightning with his saber and redirecting it towards the ground, while Kylex rushed forward, shooting the old Sith in the foot. The Sith recoiled in pain as he hopped on one leg. With this opening, Lexiconus jumped forward, impaling the Sith with his lightsaber. The Sith’s lightsaber deactivated, hitting the floor with a loud clang.

It's very unlikely that the two of you together would be able to defeat Synin so easily. Even with the distraction. I can see you getting the shot off without Synin's precognition blocking it, but that resulting in Lexiconus being able to kill Synin with one stab seems a little farfetched. It was interesting to read, but this was still a stretch.