Warrior Calindra Hejaran vs. Knight Arron Saylos

Warrior Calindra Hejaran

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Scholae Palatinae
Female Human, Sith, Marauder
vs.

Knight Arron Saylos

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Scholae Palatinae
Male Cathar, Force Disciple, Arcanist
Comment

Thank you both for putting in the effort to write such an extensive story - it’s not often that you see 8-post ACC Battles. Also, thank you for your patience with this first-timer Judge and the timing conflicts with the GJW. I also want to assure you that as a new judge, I have had the comments and decisions for this match verified by numerous senior members of the ACC staff.

You both clearly invested in the larger story that you crafted, which started and ended like a movie. I enjoyed that a lot. However, you both fell into the same trap of ending any conflict between the two main characters about halfway through. This is a major issue for Duelist Hall, Ranked matches, particularly as you both ended up writing conflict against an NPC. This is directly pointed to as a detractor for Story according to the ACC rubric.

Arron, your posts leaned the most towards a continued conflict between you and Calindra. However, there were many grammatical and formatting errors throughout your posts. I recommend showing your posts to a proof-reader and previewing your posts before final submission. A few issues with using Force powers could also be fixed by carefully reading the Wiki.

Calindra, your posts were clean but it seems like your writing most strongly took away from the conflict between you and Arron. Unfortunately, this is a major issue as Story is 40% off the score and conflict must be maintained in Duelist Hall, Ranked matches.

There were good points and room for improvement with both writers of this match. However, considering the importance of story and the apparent direction with which it was drawn by each writer, Arron wins this match.

Hall Duelist Hall - Ranked
Messages 8 out of 8
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Warrior Calindra Hejaran, Knight Arron Saylos
Winner Knight Arron Saylos
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Warrior Calindra Hejaran's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Knight Arron Saylos's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Nar Shaddaa: Streets
Last Post 7 October, 2017 5:04 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Aul Celsus
Syntax - 15%
Major Jon Silvon Ala'ar Rinn
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: Numerous issues throughout that can be addressed with proofing. Rationale: Only minor issues.
Story - 40%
Major Jon Silvon Ala'ar Rinn
Score: 3 Score: 2
Rationale: While you attempted to bring the fight back between Calindra and Arron you ultimately fell in lock-step with Calindra’s posts and failed to continue any direct conflict between you two. Rationale: You wrote away from the conflict of the post numerous times ultimately resulting in the story having no combat conflict between Arron and Calindra for the last half.
Realism - 25%
Major Jon Silvon Ala'ar Rinn
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: Numerous issues with use of Force powers. Rationale: Minor issues with use of Force powers.
Continuity - 20%
Major Jon Silvon Ala'ar Rinn
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No major issues. Rationale: No major issues
Major Jon Silvon's Score: 3.4 Ala'ar Rinn's Score: 3.4
Posts

Nar Shaddaa Streets

The Vertical City, Nar Shaddaa. They call it the Smuggler's Moon—an apt description based on the myriad of sentients shuffling back and forth with their illegal wares and hidden weapons. The narrow streets below criss-cross endlessly, soaring miles above the planet's surface. Exposed and uncovered, the streets offer a nearly perfect setting for someone with some skills with ranged weapons. From a vantage point on the ledge of a towering structure of glass and steel offers a dizzying view of the cityscape.

Simple shops and merchants peddle both legitimate and illegitimate wares. Storefronts are just as plentiful as open-market pop-up tents, and the cantina's adapt the same lowlife air as the rest of the Smuggler's Moon. Enemies could be hidden in plain sight, whether one of the Hutts’ gangsters or mercenaries-for-hire looking to earn some credits. The streets are plagued with violent gangs and the general riff raff of the poor and destitute. The streets may be an ideal place for blasters, but the winding streets are difficult to disappear from. An opponent would be easily boxed in and simple to finish with a few quick slashes of a lightsaber. The moon is dangerous—even for one gifted in the Force.

Arron weaved his way between the assorted scumbags that lined the lower levels of Nar Shadaa. Tru, the city planet was filled with scumbags, some might even say inhabited solely by them, but a level this far down was home only to the worst of the worst.

Terrorists plotting coups, insane or immoral scientists, and-Arron paused as he witnessed a group of five gamorreans herding chained and collared Twi’Leks through the streets.

Slavers, he thought with rage. His mechanical arm instinctively moved towards his lightsaber as his mind reached for the force to-no.

He was here to do a job, plain and simple. A job he had put off for far too long.. Payback time.

No more waiting. No more delays. So, with a callousness practiced over years of hardships, he turned his backs on the Twi’Lek slaves...or tried too.

One of the slaves, a girl Arron would have estimated to be no more than fifteen, chose that moment to trip over her chains. Bad idea. The gamorreans were not a people known for their patience, and these ones seemed even less so.

When a series of kicks to the child weren't enough to get her moving again, the hog decided it was time to take out it’s rifle...only to find itself overcome with a sense of dread. It turned it’s head about frantically, desperately seeking the source of this baseless dread, only to come face to face to face with Arron, his green eyes tinted with sulfurous yellow at the edges, the only thing visible beneath the form concealing cloak he wore.

The creature fumbled for it’s blaster once more, only to find it’s arm severed by a violet streak of light. It only had a second to scream before it’s head followed suit.

The five remaining creatures immediately reacted, drawing their blasters as Arron prepared for a fight. What he didn't expect was the bright red saber to that spiraled through the air, taking the heads off two more gamorreans before they had a chance to react. Arron didn’t waste the opportunity questioning it through, and immediately fried the two that remained with a forked bolt of lightning, sending the to their knees.

“Come out,” he said loudly enough to be heard. “I’m not one for hide and seek.”

“So I gathered,” said a voice directly behind him. Arron immediately brought his blade, preparing for the attack.

“Whoa easy there big guy" said the newcomer, her hands raised. “I’m on your side!” she said. “By that I assume you’re referring to Scholae Palatinae?” he said, gesturing to the lightsaber that was now back at her belt.

“Callindra right? What do you want?” he asked tersely.

“A Knight of the Empire goes AWOL without so much as a word, people ask questions,” she said.

“Perhaps we should find a better meeting place to continue this conversation?” she said, gesturing to the crowd that had gathered around them. Arron noted that nobody seemed particularly by the sudden violence. Like he said before, worst of the scumbags.

Arron didn’t reply as he walked over to the two surviving slavers, and calmly decapitated them both. He took the electronic key he found on one of their belts, and through it to the nearest Twi’Lek.

There, good deed done. He thought sarcastically.

“Don’t tell me you came all this way for that?” Callindra asked skeptically.

“No,” was his only reply as he walked past her.

“Arron!” Callindra called. “I can’t just let you go without some kind of explanation.” the Sith reached for the saber at her belt. “Tell me why you’re here.”

Arron glared at her, before pointing to the distant silhouette of Tull the Hutt’s fortress.

“Payback,” was his only response.
Aul Celsus, 5 November, 2017 10:15 PM UTC

Positive

I enjoyed the cold open of this story. It felt like a sudden scene in a movie and I immediately felt dropped onto the streets of Nar Shaddaa. You do an excellent job of creating a reason for conflict here and I want to explore it further after reading this post.

Can Be improved

Numerous typos throughout and an obvious formatting error towards theh end. This can be addressed by (1) having your posts proof-read and (2) previewing your posts before posting.

An over-use of Lightning took away from the realism in this post. Arron has +3 Lightning, which should not really be able to be used so instantly, and by modifying the ability with Fork It the power should be halved. This is unlikely to drop two Gammorreans to their knees.

Arron didn’t waste the opportunity questioning it through, and immediately fried the two that remained with a forked bolt of lightning, sending them to their knees.

As Arron turned away from her, Calindra went to grab the Cathar Knight by the wrist with her off hand.

Expecting fur, her hand latched onto the copper-colored cybernetic arm and was momentarily surprised. That was enough for her hot-headed clansman to move his robotic arm and move lightly on the balls of the feet to close the distance between him and Calindra. The resulting awkward position forced her grip from his arm, and was soon followed with a swift blow with both fists squarely towards her her chest.

Through instinct and years of martial combat, Calindra had already started to sidestep and move with the blow. The result was a half executed evasion of Saylos’ attack, which was quickly followed by a Force blow that knocked her back several feet. The Sith Warrior, used to sudden and brusque applications of the Force strikes, tumbled half-gracefully among the stream of onlookers.

Complaints in basic and various other languages -- none of them all too polite -- resounded around her as she got back to her feet as quickly and as seamlessly as she could considering her surprise. She added to the general curses of the onlookers after she noticed that she’d lost track of Saylos. She attempted to push her away out from the many pedestrians around her, but one of them decided to press his disagreement with her. Taking advantage of her turned back and her smaller size, the Sanyassan took his beefy arm and placed her in a choke-hold.

‘Krifing city folks…’ Calindra growled as she tossed her head violently back towards her assailant, catching him squarely on the nose. A shout, half surprise and half curse from the sudden pain, resulted in him releasing his hold of her sufficiently for her to grab him by the head, and flipping him over her like a large sack of Corellian turnips. There were surprised shouts from the people around them as the thug hit the duracrete in front of her in a large muffled thump. Suddenly people started to remember that they had more important things to do than meddle with a cloaked figure in Nar Shaddaa’s under-city.

Normally, she would have returned her attention on her foe, but she had more pressing matters to attend to. Taking to the shadows, she used the Force to blend the darkness around her while she took the time to get a bead on which alley Saylos had fled to. It troubled her that she could no longer move while she maintained the Force Cloak; an ability she had lost ever since she’d returned from the Temple of the Forgotten. She frowned as she attempted to head towards where she had last seen Saylos heading, but her grasp of the shadows started unraveling around her.

The Sanyassan was now on his feet, clutching his bloody nose and looking around for her. Thanks to the Force, his eyes passed her over without noticing her.

Another curse escaped her lips as she let go of the Force and swiftly ran in the alley in pursuit of her quarry.

Aul Celsus, 5 November, 2017 10:19 PM UTC

Positive

Good use of the venue to create a headstart for a chase scene:

She attempted to push her away out from the many pedestrians around her, but one of them decided to press his disagreement with her. Taking advantage of her turned back and her smaller size, the Sanyassan took his beefy arm and placed her in a choke-hold.

The whole scene creates tension that makes me so interested in the story.

Can Be Improved

It's better to paint a picture with the senses than it is to directly refer to a power; this takes the reader out of the moment.

Taking to the shadows, she used the Force to blend the darkness around her while she took the time to get a bead on which alley Saylos had fled to. It troubled her that she could no longer move while she maintained the Force Cloak; an ability she had lost ever since she’d returned from the Temple of the Forgotten.

Arron ducked and weaved through the alleys, hoping to lose his stubborn pursuer; a hope dashed when she lept from a roof, and landed right in front of him.

“Theatrical,” he said, readying his lightsaber.

“Effective,” was her reply, taking up her own stance.

Arron rushed forward, before giving a force-enhanced leap, and directly over Callindra’s head-or at least that was the plan, before a telekinetic pull sent him slamming back into the ground. As he tried to get his breath back in his lungs, he found a crimson blade pointed uncomfortably close to his throat.

“Why. Are. You. Here?” she said coldly.

“None of your business!” he growled, sweeping his legs out, knocking her off balance as he got back onto his feet. “Or the Empire’s for that matter.”

Calindra wasn’t down more than a split second before a slamming her hand into the ground, sending out a telekinetic wave that sent Arron back a good few feet. Callindra immediately charged, forcing Arron back onto the defensive. His Sokan was at a major disadvantage in these tight alleyways.

“I can’t just go back to our superiors with no answers,” she hissed as she slashed at his mechanical arm, trying to disable him from fighting.

“Not my problem!” he half-shouted, thrusting his lightsaber into a hole in her defense. She saw his attack coming a second soon enough and blocked it, bringing the two warriors into a blade lock.

“It is if they declare you a traitor Arron.”

“Not your problem,” he replied, trying to overpower the smaller fighter. As it turned out, she was expecting that move, as Callindra ducked down, causing Arron’s own strength to send him tumbling, and allowing Callindra to flip him over onto the ground.

“And back to square one,” Callindra chuckled without mirth.

“Afraid I can’t let you do that,” cam a third voice, and both turned to see a figure dressed in black armor, leveling an exceptionally large blaster rifle at Callindra. “The cat is my prey.”

The newcomer nodded towards Arron. “Shouldn’t have come back to Nar Shadaa, cat.”

Aul Celsus, 5 November, 2017 10:21 PM UTC

Positives

I enjoyed the action in this post. Among the best fight scenes in the whole story. It's like my head bobbed back and forth and with each hit I audibly go "ooh! ouch! He got all of that one!"

Can Be Improved

Usually you do something with mirth, but to say something without mirth is... awkward. It's a word specifically meant to enhance the description of joy. There are better ways of saying Callindra chuckled "without joy."

“And back to square one,” Callindra chuckled without mirth.

“Ohh! Is that what you’ve been up too, Saylos!” Calindra cooed as she looked down the barrel of the gun the bounty hunter or enforcer type. “You could have just told me you had unfinished business, I’d have let you and beetle-guy here get better acquainted...“ she added as she turned her head and regarded the Cathar. Had Arron forgotten to pay his tithe or something? She was very curious to find out.

“That’s enough,” came the voice behind her, “move over, or I’ll shoot you too.”

“Don’t get in such a huff,” she said waving dismissively at newcomer, “I’ll happily step aside, given you’re obviously playing for the home team here. Just let me get him ready for you, em-kay?” Calindra ignored whatever the bounty hunter was doing and extended a hand to help Arron get back up on his feet. The Cathar gave her a baleful stare, but something in her gaze made him retract whatever he was about to say. He simply reached up towards the offered hand, and got up.

She casually started dusting off the young knight in a motherly way, taking particular care to get his shirt collar looking neater, ignoring the growls as she threatened to groom his hair for the encounter.

“You sure you want to do this?” she asked as she suddenly turned around to face the black armored fellow once again. “I mean, you’ve obviously spent the credits on the intimidating dark armor and blaster… the kid’s obviously upset and itching for a fight… I’m not sure it’s the wisest thing to do.”

Nonplussed and getting impatient, the bounty hunter impatiently motioned for her to step aside with a short waving motion of his blaster.

“Fine,” Calindra sighed, “I’ll just find myself a nice perch and watch…”

No sooner was she out of the way that Saylos launched himself at the bounty hunter with a scream, and the shooting and shouting finally began. A volley of blaster bolts landed where Saylos had been just seconds before, sending debris flying. Calindra, meanwhile, seemed to be humming casually as she sat on one of the large trash bins that folks kept in the alleyways, her foot lolling as she casually glanced at her nails. Saylos, suddenly felt a small and sudden surge in confidence. Calindra could feel Saylos with the Force and sensed his anger and the Force ebbing around him and reaching out like an invisible cloud for the bounty hunter’s head.

As the 'cloud' finally reached its target, Calindra felt the man's fear as the Force clawed at the edges of the man’s mind.

He hadn’t expected the young cat to move so quickly. He hadn’t expected to miss with his first salvo, and had miscalculated how Saylos would react. That, combined with Knight Saylos’ mental attack and Calindra instilling a sense of confidence in her clan mate’s mind, had turned the tables on their assailant.

He was now the prey...

Aul Celsus, 5 November, 2017 10:21 PM UTC

Positives

Nicely written descriptions throughout this post. You really put the time in to help paint a picture, improving on your previous posts. This was well done.

Can Be Improved

This post strongly draws us out of the conflict between Arron and Calindra and is sort of the beginning of the end for the action between the two. In a Duelist Hall, Ranked match the two writers need to be fighting each other. Otherwise, this should be a co-op or Funderdome story.

Arron could feel it as the Dark Side induced fear ate away at the man’s concentration, could see the ever so slight shake in his previously steady hands. The man was dead already.

A doge to the side to avoid the blaster fire, a burst of force-enhanced speed, and Arron was within his reach already. He grabbed the rifle, slammed it’s handle into the man’s helmet, and took it from the hunter’s hands while he was dazed. A blaster bolt ended the sorry excuse for a hunter’s life with one shot. Arron was almost disappointed.

A good hunter never lets the prey know they’re even being hunted, he thought. Much less announces themselves. Damned fool.

A slow clapping brought him out of his ponderings and back to the present.

“Feel better now?” Callindra asked sarcastically. Her posture was relaxed, but Arron could see the way her hand was never more than a few inches from her lightsaber.

“No,” Arron snapped. He telekinetically pulled his lightsaber back to his hand and turned to walk away.

“Are we really going to do this all over again?” Callindra said in a much more serious tone. “If you’d just-”

“Answer your question, yes I know!” Arron half-shouted, half-growled. “I’m here to kill a fat slug that burned my life to the ground, alright? The Empire has nothing to do with it, so I didn’t see a need to tell them about it!”

And with that, Arron stalked out of the alleyway, sincerely hoping the woman would just let him go at this point. It wasn’t like he was the first Dark Jedi to pursue a vendetta, so there was no reason for anyone in the empire to think this one incident particularly strange.

“Need any help?” came the Sith’s reply. Arron stopped and blinked.

“What?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“Do you need help?” she asked again. Arron regarded her warily.

“Why? What do you want?”

“To help a clan mate not get himself killed, for starters. The fact that this guy found you in some alley of all places means whoever you’re looking for knows you’re here.” She jerked a thumb behind her. “You’re little show in the alley didn’t exactly help you in the ‘element of surprise’ department kid.”

“What kind of game are you trying to play here Sith?” Arron growled, spitting the last word like a curse. Callindra wasn’t intimidated, and instead let out a melodramatic sigh.

“You know not everything is trick, right?” Callindra said, offering her hand.

“So people keep telling me,” Arron said, remembering something similar his master Evant had told him once. “I’ll believe it when I see it.” He took the hand.

Aul Celsus, 5 November, 2017 10:22 PM UTC

Positives

I enjoyed the tension in this moment:

“Feel better now?” Callindra asked sarcastically. Her posture was relaxed, but Arron could see the way her hand was never more than a few inches from her lightsaber.

If there were a soundtrack in this scene, the violins would be holding an uncomfortable note.

You also do a great job of contrasting the behavior of Arron and Calindra here:

“What kind of game are you trying to play here Sith?” Arron growled, spitting the last word like a curse. Callindra wasn’t intimidated, and instead let out a melodramatic sigh.

They feel at odds, and it feels right.

Can Be Improved

(continuing from above) But then it ends! This is the last post where there is any conflict directly between Calindra and Arron and strongly detracts from the goals of Duelist Hall, Ranked matches.

"It so happens that we've got some business with Tull the Hutt," Calindra said as she shook his hand, carefully observing the Cathar's reaction to the name. She was rewarded when the young knight's bright green eyes narrowed in anger, and then his stare grew distant as he remembered things from his past. Calindra let go of his hand as thoughts surfaced through his mind: Some screams in the night, a village, a slaver vessel, a female Cathar and a male had been struck down, two dark younglings being taken away. What she felt though was his thirst for revenge, as well as the fantasies of avenging his family.

She noticed the tensed muscles in his legs and arms. His neck was stiff with black fur as the hackles raised around his neck.

"What..?! We are not going to do any business with that fat slug!"

"Why would your business with him be so unparalleled with what the Empire wants to do?" She raised an eyebrow at the notion. "It so happens that Tull sided with the wrong folks, and it's time to pull the rug right from under him. His demise would cause quite a stir in the exact circles that Imperium wishes to sow dissent in." She waited for Saylos to register what she was saying.

Calindra gave a satisfied and knowing smile, when he suddenly realized her angle. Before the Cathar could argue, she cut him off: "Arron, you should have come to us sooner, and we would have given you the resources to carry out your vengeance. It is hoped that today you will learn to work with others, and that you will share more freely your thoughts in the future. For now, we will have to settle the score in a different way."

"I'm going to kill that Hutt, and I won't let you settle this in any other way." The last three words were clipped, terse, and meant to be final.

Calindra's laugh echoed in the alleyway, and she casually pushed a loose strand of blond hair away from her eyes. "Oh! That's funny!! But there's a reason why we can't kill him today."

"And why is that?!"

"Intel has it that the Hutt's been off-world for several weeks now," she said with some finality. She sighed as she noticed Saylos' disappointment and anger. "That makes it the perfect opportunity to get in and find out what's been distracting him all this time. Who knows, we might even find out something about some of his favorite prisoners..." she added that last detail and watched him carefully. She had suspected that Saylos would see reason if there was a possibility of finding out where others like him were being held.

It was an opportunity he didn't pass up.


Tull the Hutt's palace was a grotesque looking complex in the middle of the district they were in. It was squat, brown, and took up nearly six city blocks, the size of which was even more impressive on the inside.

Calindra checked her Inquisitorius scanner for the thirteenth time in the last hour. She had explained that gaining access through the front entrance would very likely result in them locking up the whole compound as tight as a Jawa's grip on a credit, so the best thing to do was to get in by some covert mean and avoid being seen until they had found what they were looking for: the Hutt's vault.

"This is it!" she finally said in a hushed tone as she glanced down the hallway that branched south from the safety of their hiding spot. She motioned towards a large double door with golden relief and gilded designs, flanked by two dozen or so of Tull's personal honor guard. The whole thing looked like a large gold and brown sculpture of Tull's face with several large Gamorreans driveling and gambling away casually near it.

"I can't say I really care for the artwork though..." Something about the conical head and the design tugged at the edges of her mind, and she pushed down the desire to desecrate the Hutt's face from the door.

"That's his private vault, alright," Saylos agreed, "It's got all sorts of traps too... most of them very unpleasant."

"Let's not waste any time then..."

Calindra was suddenly down the hall, her athletic form running at a jog as the Gamorreans started to look up puzzledly from their games. With a quick flick of her thumb, her lightsaber sprung to life and the red blade leapt out if her hand and screamed towards the closest guards. One squealed in pain as he clutched the stump the blade left of his arm, while the others squealed in alarm as the head of the other landed on the mound of credits and dice they'd been gambling with, sending them flying in a loud clatter of plasti-creds.

One of the more vigilant of the guards had rushed for the alarm, but Calindra heard Saylos' lightsaber screaming towards him as hers returned to her hand. With a scream, she unleashed another attack, this one sending several of the guards flying backwards as they hurried to get up. Their heavy bodies hitting the door with a loud raucous which would undoubtedly alert others of their location.

As if on cue, they heard the wail of an alarm klaxon in the distance...

"We need to hurry!"

Aul Celsus, 5 November, 2017 10:23 PM UTC

Positives

I really enjoyed the use of a scene change halfway through this post.

Tull the Hutt's palace was a grotesque looking complex in the middle of the district they were in. It was squat, brown, and took up nearly six city blocks, the size of which was even more impressive on the inside.

This was a very Star Wars moment:

As if on cue, they heard the wail of an alarm klaxon in the distance... "We need to hurry!"

I can tell you're a SW nerd, and I like it.

Can Be Improved

This post contained a lot of repetition throughout. Particularly words like scream/screaming, flying, squealed to list just a few. The quality of proofing seemed weaker in this post compared to any of your other posts.

At +1 Telepathy this would not be possible. Calindra would be expected to barely be able to communicate, much less read thoughts and feelings.

Calindra let go of his hand as thoughts surfaced through his mind: Some screams in the night, a village, a slaver vessel, a female Cathar and a male had been struck down, two dark younglings being taken away. What she felt though was his thirst for revenge, as well as the fantasies of avenging his family.

“Get the door open!” Arron growled as he stalked toward the doorway, lightsaber at the ready.

“I could use some...stress relief,” he said with an expression somewhere between a grin and a snarl. Either way, it involved lots of teeth. Callindra simply rolled her eyes.

“Just be ready to bolt in here when I do,” she said, her crimson lightsaber already starting to slice into the oversized door. Arron knew from experience it was thicker than it looked. He could take his time.

One gamorrean was actually dumb enough to charge him with an axe. Its legs were gone before it even knew what was happening. Arron took the opportunity to launch its axe into the head of another, more cautious guard.

Arron quickly fell into a rhythm. Deflect, block, dodge, strike, kill. Over and over at each of the many guards, droids and mercenaries. But even the Dark Side had limits to what it could grant, and Arron was approaching it like a rock plummeting to the ground.

“How’s that door comi-” He shouted over his shoulder, only to be interrupted by a disc of grey metal hurtling over his head and into a jet-pack borne droid, flattening too more foes as it fell.

“You mean that door?” Callindra asked coyly, already crawling through the metre wide hole she had carved. Arron wasted only enough time to decapitate one more guard before bolting across the hall and through the hole, half an instant before a forcefield slammed down before the great doors. One of the precautions for anyone trying to break in. First of many, Arron knew.

“Well, that was exciting, but let’s not do it again hm?” Calindra said.

Arron shrugged. “Getting out of here alive? Probably won’t have a choice.”

“Ah.”

Arron pointed one metal finger across the great room, lined with pedestals containing various treasures. “The computer terminal is down there at the end.”

Callindra glanced down at the tiled floor. “I don’t suppose you know which ones are trapped?”

Arron snorted. “You think any of the slaves were part of the building process? Of course I don’t.”

“Old fashioned way then.” Arron nodded, already knowing what she meant. He was never very good at precognition, but he could manage well enough. The two of them walked forward slowly, senses extended outward into the force, trying to sense any immediate danger from taking another step forward. They actually managed to make it about two thirds of the way down the hall before anything horrible happened. Way longer than Arron was expecting.

Arron sensed the danger of one particular tile too late, and lost his balance trying to avoid it...and fell on his face. Arron watched as three-make that four-tiles lit up beneath his prone form.

“Typical,” he growled.

Callindra dodged out of the way of a hail of blaster fire as Arron rolled beneath a bladed pendulum swinging above his form.

“Nice job Arron,” Callindra shouted in a sarcastic voice, avoiding a burst from flamethrowers on the freaking ceiling! Arron felt his hatred for Tull reaching new heights at the ridiculousness of these traps as the two of the ran, miraculously avoiding any more traps as they reached the computer terminal, the two of them panting for breath.

“Unbelievable,” Callindra coughed out between breaths, already walking towards the terminal. “I mean, blasters sure, but pendulums and flamethrower-wait.”

“What now?” Arron snapped.

“That was three traps...I saw four tiles light up.” As if on cue, a rumbling noise shook the room as the hole ceiling began to unfold. Mechanical arms whirled and twisted, as a massive shape was dropped onto the floor.

The huge metal shape began unfolding itself, slowly lumbering onto four huge legs, as the massive spider-like droid pointed it’s blasters at the two Dark Jedi.

“You know Arron,” Callindra whispered, igniting her lightsaber. “I’m starting to think that stuff about black cats bringing bad luck...might not be all superstition.”

Aul Celsus, 5 November, 2017 10:23 PM UTC

Positives

This reads to me how I think of Arron going back to the Journeyman Tournament. It felt familiar, in a good way.

Arron quickly fell into a rhythm. Deflect, block, dodge, strike, kill. Over and over at each of the many guards, droids and mercenaries. But even the Dark Side had limits to what it could grant, and Arron was approaching it like a rock plummeting to the ground.

Can Be Improved

This isn't really the right use of Precognition. Maybe Telepathy, but only at higher levels.

Arron nodded, already knowing what she meant. He was never very good at precognition, but he could manage well enough.

Calindra held up her lightsaber, her dominant hand high on the saber hilt as she readied an overpowering swing. The Sith warrior didn't wait for the droid to complete its deployment subroutines; she immediately rushed forward and leapt in the air. Her Force-assisted jump allowed her to reach an already amazing height, but it was the additional momentum that she wanted. As the force of gravity lead her back towards the ground, her strike would have that much more power when it connected with the droid. She directed her screaming lightsaber towards one of the droid's legs, holding the blade firmly with both hands. When the it finally connected, she used her off hand on the lower part of the hilt to swivel the blade even more deeply and viciously.

With a loud clang, the leg was severed close to the robotic knee, leaving a large red gouge of burnt metal where the leg had been connected. The droid wobbled dangerously towards her as it tried to compensate for the loss of an appendage, but the Sith warrior quickly moved out of the way.

She had to veer suddenly when an invisible Force slammed into the droid and caused it to scuttle back and readjust its stance a second time. She heard the Cathar's blade race through the air, and caught a sight of it as it sliced off a piece off one of the repeating blasters before it returned to Saylos' hand.

Their efforts didn't disable the droid however. There was a sudden flurry of repeating blaster fire concentrated on the Cathar, but Saylos was already running away. The blaster bolts hit the ground where he had been moments before, sending large pieces of tile and floor flying in every direction. The destruction continued as the repeating blasters tried to keep the Cathar in their sites, sending even more debris flying towards them as the bolts destroyed a large stretch of the floor around them.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Calindra leapt on one of the droid's legs, avoiding the gears as the head swiveled in its effort to track the very agile cat. The Sith warrior dived her lightsaber deep into the droid's bulbous chassis, using the droid's own movement to slice through circuits and sensitive innards. Soon the repeaters fell silent and the droid slowed as some of the lights flickered and finally went dark.

The pair waited with baited breath to see if the mechanical contraption would resume its attacks. After a few heartbeats with no tell-tale signs of activity, they both relaxed their stances, though the young knight kept a wary eye on the droid, not trusting it to stay put.

"Just watch, it's going to self-repair and start shooting at us again," Saylos said as he stepped back carefully.

"You're just a beautiful optimist," she said with a laugh, "but I'm half expecting it to leak some poisonous gas out of spite. We better find what we're looking for, and quickly."

Calindra pushed herself off of the droid and sailed past the rest of the combat zone, landing squarely near the Hutt's prized possessions. There were artifacts of all kinds: taxidermed creatures of various sizes, weapons and blasters, gold statues and gems, some ancient artifacts she didn't quite recognized, but that stirred something deep within her. Meanwhile, Saylos made his way to the computer terminal.

"Access denied," he growled as the red letters streamed in front of his eyes. "I don't suppose you're proficient at slicing?"

Calindra pried her eyes away from the relics with some effort, but stepped towards the terminal. "No, I'm afraid not, but that's the advantage of working with a team," she said as she reached for a comlink within the folds of her clothes. "Sigmundus, we've run into a small problem. We're at a computer terminal, can one of the slicers override it?"

"Yes, my lord," came the staticky response, "just take your Inquisitorius scanner and hold it near the terminal. Have it on scan, so that we can take a look at it."

"Thank you, Major. I'm handing you over to Knight Saylos, in case you need to direct him while I go investigate something else."

She didn't wait for the acknowledgement, and simply handed the device to the Cathar who gave her an inquisitive look but stayed silent as she returned her attention on the relics that had caught her eye. She reached out for one of the objects sprawled out in the middle of the table. It was a sort of orb, with intricate designs and traced it with a delicate finger before picking it up.

From behind her, Saylos and Sigmundus had been working on the computer terminal. "We're in!" the Cathar gushed, as he was finally able to navigate the information contained in the Hutt's personal files.

"Our journey will have us venture towards the Yavin system," Calindra said, her voice sounding slightly different.

"How did you know the slug left for Yavin?" asked Saylos as he looked up from the terminal. Somehow, Calindra looked different. It was something about her stance, and the way she held the orb in her hand. Come to think of it, it was also the way she had said 'venture towards' instead of 'traveling or going'. He looked at her, his bright green eyes observing her carefully. "I have it right here in the most recent travel logs. They're having an excavation of some old ruins on Yavin IV."

Calindra seemed distant and then suddenly snapped out of what seemed like a trance. "Yavin IV, you said?" Something tugged at the back of her mind, and she suddenly recalled the crew of the Zephyr. She looked down at the sphere as if wondering how it got there.

"Where there's an excavation, there are bound to be a lot of slaves to do the labor."

She pocketed the Sphere and turned towards Arron. "Excellent! It looks like you'll get a chance to face Tull the Hutt after all. Unfortunately, you're stuck with me for a bit longer than you expected," she said with a grin.

'I'm not sure I like where this is going,' Saylos thought. 'Not one bit.'

"Let's get out of here," Calindra said with some finality as she took her scanner back and turned it towards one of the walls. After a minute or two, she found whatever it was that she was looking for and her hand carefully searched around one of the many paintings on that wall. Saylos heard a small click as she pressed a switch behind one of the paintings' frame, and a passageway hissed open.

'On that, we both agree,' Saylos thought as he looked at her warily. He kept his saber at the ready and followed the warrior out to freedom, but spared one final glance at the battle droid before returning his wary gaze back on the Sith. He had decided that he'd make sure she was always in front of him on the return trek back to Nar Shaddaas busy streets.

Aul Celsus, 5 November, 2017 10:24 PM UTC

Positives

I like this is either an "aww" moment or an "oh..." moment:

'On that, we both agree,' Saylos thought as he looked at her warily. He kept his saber at the ready and followed the warrior out to freedom, but spared one final glance at the battle droid before returning his wary gaze back on the Sith. He had decided that he'd make sure she was always in front of him on the return trek back to Nar Shaddaa’s busy streets.

Can Be Improved

Continuing on my overall issue with this battle, this was largely an anti-climactic post for a Duelist Hall, Ranked match. Zero combat conflict between the two main characters - a big no-no. Having the two main characters fighting a droid as a third-party participant goes directly against the Story component of the grading rubric.