SW Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr vs. KPN Koth Rai'Hakk

Warrior Seabr'imsto'nedansr, aka Brimstone

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Plagueis
Male Chiss, Sith, Seeker
vs.

Krath Pontifex Koth Rai'Hakk

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Plagueis
Male Zabrak, Krath, Shadow
Comment

As the score can attest, this was a very close battle. Each of you had a few missteps. Really, it was story and realism that won and lost the day for you two. Battles should be interesting from the outset. While some set-up is required, there should also be some "combat" in the opening post. As well, the battle must end conclusively, and the characters should make sense when compared to their Character Sheets. The Aspects are really the core of the character. While Brimstone's overall story didn't quite click, the general idea was something a little different and earned him that extra nod.

Congratulations go out to Brimstone in this closely-fought battle.

Hall Duelist Hall - Old Container
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 1 Day
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants SW Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr, KPN Koth Rai'Hakk
Winner SW Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
SW Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr's Character Snapshot Snapshot
KPN Koth Rai'Hakk's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue [UNLEASHED] Valley of the Jedi
Last Post 31 July, 2014 1:57 AM UTC
Assigned Judge Lord Halcyon
Syntax - 15%
Son'El Warlord Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr
Score: 4 Score: 2
Rationale: - Your "thought" in your second post was not really separated. Needed to find a better way to distinguish thought from your other actions. - Couple of small little missed comma's and so on. Nothing huge. Rationale: - Lots of little grammatical errors that a good review by someone else will likely find. - Your second post was actually worse in terms of the grammar and spelling than your first post. You need someone to look over your posts, or you need to be more careful when reading it through
Story - 40%
Son'El Warlord Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr
Score: 2 Score: 3
Rationale: - The first post was on the slow end. This is a very short battle, so spending the bulk of your post standing around does not make for an entertaining read - The ending was a little...odd. It really didn't seem like a proper "ending" at all. Brimstone is all about the use of the Force, so he could do all sorts of things while you're standing over him. I just don't feel it ended that conclusively. Also, your Aspects contradict each other, so it's even harder to figure out how you act. One Aspect says you enjoy killing and the other Aspect says you don't like to kill people. You really need to have a look at your CS to ensure it makes sense. Rationale: - There was too much "telling" to the reader, rather than showing. Each time you spelled out exactly what each character is good at. The whole point is to show the reader those skills and not just tell us. - More of an "ending" to this battle, although fairly anti-climatic. I see where you were going with things, but you didn't sell it nearly enough for it to fully suceed
Realism - 25%
Son'El Warlord Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr
Score: 2 Score: 3
Rationale: - How the two of you start the fight seems out-of-character. It's clear that you two are there to fight. According to the Character Sheets, Koth will generally try to stay hidden rather than fight in the open and Brimstone prefers fighting at a distance and using his blasters versus a lightsaber. Yet you opened things in the wide-open and started it off with a direct lightsaber battle. Seems pretty out-of-character for both. - Don't know why you're the "Dread Lord's Wrath". Nothing in your CS about it and wasn't explained at all. You need to give context to such statements - You are not nearly powerful enough with Telekinesis to "launch" someone backwards the way you described it - Brimstone didn't seem to use the Force at all in your posts, which is odd considering that's the core of his character. Rationale: - You stated Brimstone has "lightning reflexes" when raising his blasters. Brimstone does not appear to have anything that would enable him to be extremely quick in any of his actions. And "lightning reflexes" generally occurs as a response to another action. You're the one initiating the action, not responding to one. - Really don't think Koth has the power to pull down one of those statues.
Continuity - 20%
Son'El Warlord Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr
Score: 5 Score: 4
Rationale: No real issues here. Rationale: - I highly suggest not starting a second post by writing your own opening. You are meant to follow the opening post, not try to re-do portions that occurred.
Son'El's Score: 2.9 Warlord Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr's Score: 3.05
Posts

Combat Master’s Note: This venue was designed for use with the Unleashed Force power setting. However, unless both combatants agree, Force powers as listed in the setting of the battle MUST be followed. If participants decide differently they must alert the Combat Master before the battle concludes, or else the battle will be judged with standard Realism grades for Force power usage. See http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Valley_of_the_Jedi for more information on this location.

The Valley of the Jedi. The legendary location of the final battle under the surface of Ruusan, between the Army of Light and the Brotherhood of Darkness. The battle ended in an instant when the thought bomb detonated, trapping the spirits of hundreds of powerful Force users within the Valley for over a thousand years.

You stand near the edge of that very cave, waiting on the tiered stone steps that circle the Valley. The ground is rocky and uneven, sloping downwards towards the center. Stalagmites litter the floor, small outcroppings of rock thrust out from the ground like huge stone blades. But the piles of rocks pale in size compared to the stone statues circling the Valley in perfectly concentric circles. The statues seem almost alive, as if the faces of the dead had been perfectly captured in the carvings and still held traces of the doomed souls they represented.

In the Valley's center, an enormous mound is raised from the ground surrounded by six stone obelisks. From the mound, a blinding light explodes upwards, casting a soft glow of orange, yellow, and red over the entire cave. The light is a source of unimaginable power, an outpouring of pure energy able to strengthen one's connection to the Force—a Force Nexus.

Standing near it, you feel the currents washing over you. The Force practically hums with suppressed power, buzzing against you as if electricity was caressing your skin. Already your strength feels limitless, but you know that by basking in the vibrant light of the crystal, you will achieve ultimate power.

But you are not alone in your quest. The power of the Valley has drawn others to Ruusan. As you prepare for battle, you feel the Force flow through you… waiting to be unleashed.

Koth Rai'Hakk marveled at the awesomeness of the Valley of the Jedi. His mentor, Jonuss Rai, had taught him to respect and honor the past; especially in regards to the history of the Jedi and Sith.

The Zabrak put his hands together, the fingers of both hands interlaced together; his two index fingers extended, connected at their tips. He held this pose, keeping his hands at chest level as he closed his eyes and bowed his head. Here he paid his respects for all who had died in the conflict that created this Force Nexus and those that had died since. Though he was Krath and a practitioner of the Dark Side, Koth Rai'Hakk was a warrior at heart; he respected all those who fought and died in battle. Even ones who died so foolishly as the Sith of Kaan's Dark Brotherhood.

“Can you feel the history in this place, Brimstone?” The Dread Lord's Wrath spoke without raising his head or opening his eyes. He felt the presence of the Chiss Warrior as he entered the valley.

Brimstone stood, watching the Proconsul of Clan Plagueis. “Yes. I can.” He said as he looked around. “Did you bring me here for a history lesson or to fight?”

Koth heard the crimson blade of the Chiss' lightsaber ignite and smiled. “I am done paying my respects. Now we may fight.” Koth turned to face his opponent, placing his right leg back, turning his right foot to be perpendicular with his left. His stance was shallow and loose; he was ready to spring forth in an instant.

In the same motion he pulled his double-bladed lightsaber from his belt and ignited the violet blades at both ends. Though they were clansmen, Koth would treat the Chiss like he were an enemy.

The Zabrak exploded from his position, charging towards Brimstone. As he approached, the Proconsul swung his weapon forward, grabbing the hilt with both hands slashing with the lower blade towards the Sith's left side. Brimstone brought his lightsaber up just in time to parry the attack with his crimson blade. The force of the attack caused him to take a step back to support his stance. Koth smiled, he was glad that the fight would not be ended so soon with so simple an attack.

Just prior to engagement

Brimstone waited and watch for Koth to arrive. Voices from the past urged, teased, promised the Chiss unlimited power from their vast accumulation of knowledge. He watched as the Zabrak arrived and knew he was there to test the Sith. Knowing full well that any ambush was pointless against one who had mastered the art of assassination, he continued to let the ghosts of the past berate him.

One such spirit was that of General Hoth, deceased leader of the Jedi's Army of Light, informed him of the impending attack. In his own mind, he asked "how so?" and was told by lightsaber first, then by distraction.

present time

With the parry of the two blades, Brimstone stepped back, ready to use Koth's aggressive nature to be his undoing. The assassin sliced downward in aggressive Juyo to batter away the defense of Soresu, which the Chiss was counting on. Another parry and hard strike allowed Brimstone to pivot the Plagueian's right side, at same time, grabbing his right bicep and exerting the Force to propel Koth's momentum forward and into one of standing statues.

"Well played Brim. I'd forgotten your race's expertise in deflection combat. What is you call it again? " asked the Proconsul while resetting his footing, spinning his dual-blade weapon in an lavender dance.

"Maybe if you survive, m'lord, I'll give you a class on Carinor " he stated back while deactivating his lightsaber and sliding it back in his sleeve compartment.

Koth found the move unusual. He knew the Chiss was well trained in lightsaber combat, but wondered what was his plan. "So you wish to give me a lesson now, eh? " As an expert in the Iridonian art of K'thri, the Pontifix also deactivated his weapon and lowered it to the ground, ready to leap back to life at his beck and call. Then he started to do a kata dance as he moved closer to the warrior. Brimstone got into a standard defensive stance and watched the flow and timing of the dance, in preparation for a strike from any angle.

As Koth setup his attack and was in mid-twirl, the Chiss hands quickly dropped to his sides, grabbing and upholstering both of his charric blasters, raising them with lightning reflexes and open fired. The danger senses of the Zabrak kicked in just before the first volley and he danced his way through each blast as they came screaming towards and past areas his limbs were previously in. He then in a mid-somersault, called back his lightsaber and ignited into a full defensive stance. He knew he wouldn't last long against a non-stop barrage of blaster bolts as that was the weakness of his styles and forms. Calling upon the Force, he tried pulling down one of the statues behind the Chiss. Not so as much to hit him, but to distract him momentarily. The loud crack of crumbling stone alerted the Sith and he dove to the side. This allowed the Krath a moment to duck behind another statue and formulate his assassination of the fellow Plagueian.

Brimstone followed through his dive and rolled into a kneeling stance with both weapons aimed at where Koth was. "K'tah" cursed the Chiss, "Hoth was correct."

Koth Rai'Hakk moved between outcroppings of rock and statues of Jedi long dead, his movements causing little more than a distortion in the air. Finding a place to work out his next moves, Koth watched Brimstone as he searched for him. The Zabrak thought about what to do next and realized there was really only one course of action.

The Krath pulled his lightsaber from his belt and, moved by the Force, hurled it towards the Chiss. Halfway to its mark, Koth used the Force to switch the weapons twin blades on, igniting the violet blades. As it spun through the air it created a tornado of bright purple light.

Not wasting any time Koth ran to his left, moving swiftly and silently trying his best not to kick up any dust and give away his position. From his peripheral vision he watched his lightsaber spinning through the air, diverting the attention of Brimstone. The Chiss dodged the lightsaber as the purple blades whipped past him, slicing into the rock wall of the valley next to him. Koth took this opportunity to sprint the rest of the distance between him and his target. To hell with stealth now. He thought as his concealment faded and his focus was no longer required to control the lightsaber. He allowed the weapon to fall to the ground as he took the final steps to his target. He may have been weaponless but he was still a threat.

Brimstone heard the Proconsul's arrival and spun to greet him with his blasters. Koth struck first, slamming his arm against Brimstone's right wrist as the Chiss raised his weapons to fire. The blow knocked his shot wide, the energy piercing a broken pile of rocks nearby. Koth didn't hesitate and struck his right fist against the ribs of the Warrior. Another attack with his left fist came up and hit him square in the jaw. The Chiss spun, attempting to regain his balance from the onslaught and managed to get two shots off as he came back around. The Dread Lord's Wrath dodged the energy bolts, one missing wildly while the other singed the left shoulder of his tunic. He felt no pain and put the shot out of his mind. Before Brimstone could focus and fire again, Koth ducked low and came up within arms length of his opponent. With a telekinetic push, the Krath knocked both of the blasters from the Chiss' hands and launched him backward into the air to land on the rocky ground a meter away.

Koth pulled his lightsaber back to his hands and ignited the blades once more. He stood over the fallen Chiss and held the tip of the energy blade centimeters from his throat.

“Well played but I think we're done here.”

Koth could hear from behind him what sounded vaguely as cursing from the Chiss. He smiled as he reached out with his senses. Spirits of old ravaged the landscape. As he sensed out for his target, a ghostly apparition appeared before him. Koth recognized him as General Hoth from his study on the history of Ruusan. "Sorry General, I'm kinda busy at the moment. No time to chitchat." The former living sentient spoke anyway. "You Sith are always killing each other. And for what? To be a target for the next one. That is why you will fail. The Sith will be weakened and the Jedi will win."

"Look who's talking. You were naive enough to fall into a trap without really knowing what-" Koth stopped in mid sentence and realized he was walking into a trap himself and started laughing. "Well played General. Pitting us against each other and doing what you can't do for yourself. Even when deceased, you still cause the Brotherhood strife."

The ghost smiled and simple vanished into a mist, just at the same time as Seabr'imsto'nedansr came somersaulting between the statues, with both blasters raising. Koth instinctively propelled himself towards the Chiss, tackling him in his torso. The momentum of the impact caused both Plagueians to tumble down an embankment, which caused the Chiss to drop both of his blasters. They tussled with each other, looking like little tuskin children fighting over a toydarian stuff doll.

Koth was able to get behind and catch Brimstone in a rear naked choke hold, but it didn't last long as he was grabbed forcibly by his hair and flipped over the Chiss head. Brim held on and rolled onto the Pontifix's chest and started pummeling him, then quickly grabbed an outstretched arm of Koth's who was trying to block and immediately put him into a quick arm bar, tugging hard till a loud, audible pop of a dislocated shoulder was heard. Koth yelled out in pain, then exploded in pure hatred of Force energy and telekinetically shoved the Chiss away from himself. Brimstone landed and skidded faced down.

The Proconsul then called back his lightsaber as he kipped up onto his feet. The Krath leapt for his opponent and landed just as Brimstone rolled over, with both feet placed on his sides and placing the tip of his ignited violet blade next to the blue head of the Sith.

"I think this battle is done as I have the advantage" he blurted out with sweat beading on his brow.

"Think again, it's a draw" Brimstone retorted as he tapped the inside thigh of Koth, who looked down to see a sapphire blade's sharpened point pressed closely to his genitals. Koth smirked. "I guess we both nearly lost our heads."

With the lightsaber deactivating, he stepped off, re-clipping his hilt and extending his usable right hand out. Brimstone pulled himself up and slid the blade back across his back. "Good battle M'lord. How's the shoulder? "

"Hurts, but not as bad as my nuts would have."

Both laughed as they walked back towards Force Nexus. The history lesson was to continue.