Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj vs. Reaver Scudi Ferria

Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj

Equite, Clan Taldryan
Male Human, Sith, Seeker, Imperial

Reaver Scudi Ferria

Equite, Clan Plagueis
Female Chiss, Mercenary, Scavenger

Thank you both for your third tournament match. My apologies that this has taken so long to get marked up and graded, but RL blew up on me a bit this month.

Anyway, on to business. You both produced some very strong posts from a mechanical standpoint. Although Mark's well-edited Syntax would have an edge on most writers, it's hard to compete with flawless. Likewise, there were no issues with powers or skills. Ultimately, this match was decided in the first post. You can read the post comments for more details, but we found that there were some issues with the initial premise of the match that tipped the scale.

In the end, Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj is the winner.

Hall Spring 2019 ACC Championship
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj, Reaver Scudi Ferria
Winner Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Reaver Scudi Ferria's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Nar Shaddaa: Refugee Sector
Last Post 6 May, 2019 8:33 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Augur Archenksov
Syntax - 15%
Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj Reaver Scudi Ferria
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: Some punctuation errors, especially in the first post. Rationale: Excellent work. No how you managed it on a phone, but it’s always impressive to see.
Story - 40%
Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj Reaver Scudi Ferria
Score: 3 Score: 3 (Advantage)
Rationale: Good combat writing, but in terms of plotting this was a pretty standard match. Rationale: Strong use of the environment gives you the edge here, but the setup didn't provide the emotional hook that would have elevated this to a higher score.
Realism - 25%
Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj Reaver Scudi Ferria
Score: 5 Score: 3
Rationale: No errors that I noted. Rationale: Andrelious’ actions in your first post don’t really jive with his character sheet for me. Some of it boils down to making suboptimal choices, most obviously in drawing the weapon he’s least skilled with, that has the shortest range, and that can’t deflect blaster bolts and then advancing slowly to melee while being shot at. But what brings this up to the level of a major detractor for me is Andrel’s __Family Means More to Me...__ aspect. He’s here specifically to track down a threat to his family, which is almost always going to be his overriding priority, and in this match he blows that off completely because someone bumped into him on the street.
Continuity - 20%
Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj Reaver Scudi Ferria
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No errors that I noted. Rationale: No errors that I noted.
Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj's Score: 4.05 Reaver Scudi Ferria's Score: 3.9

Nar Shaddaa Refugee Sector

A cesspool of the downtrodden, the Refugee Sector on Nar Shaddaa is home to both the misfortunate and criminals alike. Offering their protection for credits, the criminal organizations that control the sector tax the populace outrageous sums. Unable to provide these fees, refugees are forced to work under hazardous conditions producing glitterstim and adrenals for their overseers. Some of these refugees are addicted to the substances themselves—for which the cartels increase the price of their tithes in exchange for a share of the product.

Crammed with stalls and makeshift hovels, several of the sector’s inhabitants find refuge on the streets and in the alleyways. Those who managed to avoid the dangers of drug production can be found selling their limited and often defective goods to others. Behind these stalls, a selective stock of black market wares is hidden, reserved for mercenaries and thugs.

Nar Shaddaa Refugee Sector

Littered with garbage, it is obvious that no maintenance droids have been programmed to maintain the sector. The surrounding towers have fallen into decay, bits of debris falling every so often into the middle of the street. The duracrete streets are covered in a film of filth and chemicals from the abandoned warehouses, making movement cumbersome when traveling through the most inhabited areas.

Patrols armed with blasters and vibroswords come through these areas regularly, making a show of force to advertise the merits of their ‘protection’ while extorting the occasional shopkeeper. Screams and shouts are a common enough sound, which is never in the refugees’ best interests to interfere in.

Scudi Ferria’s face was buried in the datapad she carried with her.

Her purpose in the Refugee Sector of Nar Shaddaa was twofold. Her primary aim was to observe a bidding war over a shipment of experimental weapons; her secondary mission was to keep an eye out for another member of the Brotherhood. It wasn’t mentioned if this member of the Brotherhood was here for the shipment or just on personal business. Scudi theorized that like herself, they could have a dual purpose for tolerating the Smuggler’s Moon.

Scudi’s head remained down as she clumsily navigated the packed streets of the most destitute area of Nar Shaddaa, filth lining the streets along with with the unkempt people, local “security” forces and a real gallimaufry of makeshift stalls and permanent dealerships of various purposes. Scudi brushed shoulders with an alien who was even taller than her. The other sentient being visibly angry at this, Scudi proceeded to make her way away from the scene and towards the location of the auction to the southwest.

The towering Chiss was flanked by her B2 Super Battle Droid, Bastion, an insurance policy, bailing Scudi out of dangerous situations on many occasions. Though he did bring more attention than a sentient bodyguard would, today he had been relatively unrecognised, the humdrum of the impoverished area meaning that people weren’t surprised by the sight of a Chiss walking through the area with a pristine-looking antique droid. The streetlights faded as Scudi got closer to her destination, highlighting the seediness of the facility the auction was taking place in. Scudi and Bastion ducked inside the building, hoping that if they were being followed the speed with which they’d disappeared threw off any pursuers.

In her haste, Scudi clattered into a significantly smaller individual, an overweight Human who had to be barely over five feet tall. He turned to see what had struck him. He didn’t seem very pleased to be on Nar Shaddaa, or that the lanky Chiss had collided with him. Only the low centre of gravity had prevented the Human from taking a tumble. He stared a hole through Scudi, once he’d looked up. Scudi knew she had to try and diffuse the situation.

“I’m so sorry - I’m sure you know what it’s like. Think you’re being followed so you try to lose them, bump into somebody. No harm, no foul. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get to a more visible position. I’m sure you understand that.” Scudi tried to apologise for her misstep, rationalising that surely somebody who was spectating an auction of illicit goods had more than their fair share of enemies.

“And what if I don’t excuse you?” the smaller of the two sentients asked with an oddly harsh tone for someone who’d just had it explained to him that Scudi didn’t mean to crash into him. Perhaps he had been offended at the rather flippant reference to his diminutive stature.

The smaller man subtly slid his right hand down the side of his body, towards the holster containing his rifle. Andrelious felt the Chiss barge her way past him, instead of waiting for him to approve of her passage.

Big mistake. The Taldryanite, instead of grasping his blaster as he had been meaning to, to get revenge on the Chiss, instead flicked his wrist in the direction of the Chiss. What felt like a gust of wind propelled Scudi into a row of sentient beings in front of them. Bodies collided with bodies creating a cascade of flesh that revealed the Sith’s reason for being on Nar Shaddaa: the auctioneer. The ex-Imperial had learned the man had information about a mysterious figure who had been anonymously threatening the Taldryanite’s family, something he could not stand.

“Everyone, there’s a Jedi here! Move the merchandise and save yourselves. I’ll keep him occupied!” Scudi called out to the vast array of criminals and otherwise detestable figures who had previously been enjoying being able to flash credits at their disposal to distract Andrelious.

Chaos ensued as people fled in all different directions, giving Scudi time to compose herself. Though Bastion hadn’t been propelled along with his owner, and the droid was currently close to the Taldryanite.

Bastion sought to navigate a path to his owner, but there was the rather small matter of the Sith he was faced with. Nothing in Bastion’s programming was ever designed to combat a Force user, so he had to rely on his regular procedures. The droid ran backwards while firing its wrist laser, though the smaller figure of the target made it harder to hit, as well as being in motion and the torrent of fleeing criminals fleeing in a frenzied manner. Bastion unexpectedly had a clear shot at the Quaestor of House Archanis, who soared through the air with a level of agility one would not expect from a man of his proportions.

The speed of the moving target meant the shot Bastion had intended for Andrelious to crash harmlessly into the ceiling. Now that the building was mostly empty, Bastion began making his way over towards Scudi, who was herself moving in the direction of a side exit. Bastion’s servos couldn’t match the speed of the organic, however, and Andrelious was closer to Scudi.

Scudi ran as fast as she could, hoping her longer stride would help her elude her pursuer. Still, at least she knew this time she was actually being chased and it wasn’t paranoia. Andrelious had followed her outside and planted his feet as three blaster bolts fizzed past Scudi’s ear and hit one of the market stalls in the support beam, causing it to collapse. The Chiss brought her blaster to her left hand and blindly fired as she attempted to escape the fury of the Taldryanite. The Chiss crouched to minimise the chance of being hit, slowing her fire enough to bring Andrelious within range to take out a dagger of sorts as he menacingly walked towards her.

Augur Archenksov, 17 May, 2019 10:14 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

I really enjoyed the way you wrote Bastion in this post. He felt like a proper computer, instead of just a dumb tool or a stand-in for an organic being. Likewise, I thought the characterization for Scudi was strong, as it has been throughout the tournament.

Bastion sought to navigate a path to his owner, but there was the rather small matter of the Sith he was faced with.

I see what you did there.

Things To Think About

I have a few issues with the premise here. You’ve got the elements together to kick things off (Andrelious defending his family, Scudi getting in the way by being awkward) and you’ve worked around some possible pitfalls (not relying on Bastion for all the combat, having to handicap Andrelious somehow to keep Scudi alive for three posts), but the way they come together is a little off. Andrelious isn’t here for Scudi. He only wants the auctioneer. However, the second Scudi bumps into him, Andrelious not only seems to drop his original mission, but actively jeopardizes it by starting a huge fight and causing his target to flee. Jumping straight to murder because someone bumped into him was already fairly extreme overreaction—and, to be honest, not one I think any of Andrelious’ aspects justify—before taking into account that going after Scudi means the ongoing threat to his family goes unmitigated.

Andrelious had been hoping that the trip to Nar Shaddaa would be relatively uneventful. He’d heard a lot about the so-called Smuggler’s Moon, and so had elected to carry his full complement of weapons. He certainly hadn’t expected to run into a Chiss, especially not one as seemingly skittish as Scudi.

The Sith wasn’t entirely sure which of the female’s comments had upset him most. He was used to jibes about his height, especially from Kooki, but hearing it from a woman who appeared to be unable to back up her words somehow stung even more. He also suspected that Scudi was clearly aware that he was no Jedi.

“You’re pretty rude for someone who runs. Or at least tries to,” Andrelious hissed as he continued to move towards Scudi.

The Taldryanite did not often use his dagger; he carried it more to signify that he had once been one of the Inquisitorius’ finest. But Scudi seemed an easy target, having shown Andrelious nothing that suggested she was capable of putting up much of a fight.

He’s definitely with the Brotherhood then Scudi thought as she spotted the dagger. She pointed her blaster at the approaching Sith and quickly squeezed the trigger, but the hastily aimed shot missed the mark by quite some way.

Andrelious chuckled. “So you do have some fight in you. It won’t be enough to save you,”

“I know your kind. You fancy yourself as some kind of super villain, so you talk and talk. It’s like that you need everyone to know just how evil you are,” Scudi commented matter of factly.

“You watch too many holos, girl. This is the real world. And it’s time you got a reality check!” Andrelious snapped.

“Then why have you kept me alive? You just can’t help yourself. You must pontificate,” the Chiss explained, shifting her feet as she prepared to flee again.

Andrelious furrowed his brow. He didn’t want to give away that he didn’t know the meaning of the word pontificate.

Scudi made the most of the Quaestor’s brief pause. She started to move away, firing her blaster more as a distraction than as a genuine threat. The shots were accurate enough to force Andrelious to briefly take cover, but when he popped back up he had switched to his lightsaber.

No more messing around

The sight of the crimson blade was enough to seriously worry the Plagueian. She carried on firing her blaster, but Andrelious easily deflected any that got too close away and continued to make his way towards the Chiss. It was only a matter of time before the Sith closed in enough to decisively end the encounter, and Scudi was fast running out of options.

A blaster bolt whistled past Andrelious’ ear from behind. He turned to spot that Bastion had caught up to the conflict and was desperately trying his best to save his master.

“You seem attached to this museum piece. Perhaps once I’ve dealt with it, you’ll actually find some more fight within you,” the Taldryanite taunted, his focused shifted from Chiss to droid.

Bastion stood his ground firmly, constantly firing his wrist blaster even as the Sith approached The jet black droid was acting as close to instinct as his programming allowed, but with no specific protocols for dealing with a lightsaber wielding Sith, the lack of ability to actually think was laid bare.

Scudi watched in despair as Andrelious continued to easily shield himself from her droid’s weapon fire, his lightsaber movements so natural that it was as if the weapon was a mere extension of the Sith’s arm. The Chiss held her finger over her blaster trigger, waiting for the right moment to shoot, but Andrelious was moving too fast for her to draw a bead on him.

Swinging his lightsaber through the air to deflect away yet another of Bastion’s blaster bolts, Andrelious spotted that the droid was moving in in an attempt to reduce the time the Sith had to react.

“Big mistake, droid!” the Quaestor roared. His eyes glinted bright yellow as he focused his anger into tendrils of lightning that almost instantly consumed Bastion, knocking the Battledroid off his feet.

Andrelious spun on his heels to face Scudi.

“Those droids didn’t do very well against the Jedi. What chance do you think they had against someone who isn’t scared of the Force?” he demanded.

Scudi was already moving away, bitterly disappointed at how easily the Archanis Quaestor had dealt with Bastion.

If he catches me, I’ve got no chance!

Augur Archenksov, 17 May, 2019 10:15 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

This line got a chuckle out of me:

Andrelious furrowed his brow. He didn’t want to give away that he didn’t know the meaning of the word pontificate.

I thought you had a good balance of action and plot advancement here.

Things To Think About

You had several minor punctuation issues in this post, such as:

Andrelious chuckled. “So you do have some fight in you. It won’t be enough to save you,”

The Chiss continued her retreat, firing her blaster, though she was unsure how much longer that tactic would remain viable. Andrelious had dealt with Bastion easily but she always had other weapons up her proverbial sleeve. The packed marketplace offered plenty of stalls and bodies to hide behind. Then there were the buildings with neon signs outside. If she overloaded one of those, she might have enough of a gap to lose the pursuing Taldryanite.

Scudi slowly backtracked as she watched Andrelious march with purpose in her direction. She had not only insulted him, albeit accidentally, but the slicer had also made his business on Nar Shaddaa harder to complete. Observing the visible delight the agitated sentient was taking in menacing her, she knew only her mental acumen would get her out of the sector alive now.

Out of the corner of her left eye, Scudi spotted a stall full of all manner of imported fruits. The Plagueian female squeezed the trigger of her blaster rifle, unleashing a burst of blaster bolts towards the advancing Sith. Much to her dismay, they came back in her direction, having been diverted from their course by the blade of Andrelious’ lightsaber. She didn't have time to look where they ended up; all she cared about was that they didn't hit her. Ducking behind the fruit stall, the Scavenger had time to think. The Sith seemed content to walk at her, he was seemingly preserving his energy but that suited her just fine. Deciding she'd take the little Human for a walk, the Chiss used the stalls for cover, just in case the Sith got lightning happy or used his brain and decided to use his blaster. Andrelious continued to stalk Scudi as if he was a Krayt Dragon and she was his next meal and she did her best to take herself off the menu.

Scudi lowered her blaster to the level of her hip and rapidly pulled the trigger, hoping the unexpected angle of assault would catch her pursuer by surprise while she pulled out her datapad with her free hand. The Chiss returned the blaster to its holster and switched her attention to the datapad, which she brought up to eye level so that she could at least be somewhat aware of her surroundings while she attempted to gain entry into some of the local systems. The covering fire seemed to be doing its job, though Scudi knew the Sith would tire of these games and unleash himself at some point.

The Chiss quickly found a suitable target to serve as a distraction. There was an arms dealership near by to a cantina. If Scudi could overload the bright neon sign outside the dealership, the resulting sparks could cause enough of a distraction to allow her to slip away. The power grid's security was proving difficult to crack but Scudi had to put everything into this plan. Her fingers moved around the datapad at a speed indicative of her familiarity of slicing into corporate networks. She felt like the Sith was getting closer. She couldn't see him, her eyes focused on the datapad, but he'd have to be all sorts of stupid to not take advantage of her attention being elsewhere to close the distance between the two of them.

Scudi picked up speed once she heard the beeping sound that indicated she'd gained access to the power grid. She didn't have long before the automated security would reboot and kick her out, but she only needed a couple of moments. Andrelious was now just outside striking range. Scudi was no Force user but even she could see the fury in the Human's eyes. He was through playing games. Although he didn't seem to be paying attention to anything outside Scudi. He stepped towards her, swinging his lightsaber with the hope of rendering the younger of the two combatants immobile. If Scudi couldn't run, he could have his fun with her, make her suffer before he killed her.

Scudi leapt back, finding herself close enough to the sign try her plan. She sent an excessive amount of power to the neon sign outside the arms dealership, causing it to overload. Sparks flew out towards the marketplace, setting a stall alight. The sight and the sound caused panic among the locals. Stall holders tried to save their products while customers fled, their lives being their main priority. Amidst the chaos, Andrelious had maintained his focus on the Chiss. He had seen her duck into the cantina. Now that the womp rat was cornered, she would be at her most dangerous.

Scudi had entered the cantina to find the chaos outside had affected the customers. The main room was empty, the patrons having retreated deeper into the building. Her eyes were fixed on the entrance, waiting for the unwelcome sight of Andrelious. Sure enough, the short man entered the building. He seemed even angrier than before, though Scudi didn't know if it was possible. The Chiss brought her saberstaff into her left hand, which was positioned parallel to her body. Andrelious charged the Chiss with his lightsaber, causing Scudi to hastily block the attempted assault on her person. Andrelious was clearly going to be the more effective in this area of combat Scudi needed an equaliser. Usually, it would've been Bastion but he couldn't help her this time. Scudi pushed forward, using her height for leverage, though this brought her closer to Andrelious. She didn't know what she was going to do, but if she had to go she'd go down fighting. The Chiss hastily threw a kick to the man's crotch, causing him to double over in pain.

“I didn't want to fight you. I'm not going to kill you. But I will leave and you will get your man after I've concluded my business with him,” Scudi informed the now prone Andrelious of the situation before fleeing. Whether he liked it or not, he'd have to wait to exact his revenge.

Augur Archenksov, 17 May, 2019 10:15 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

I think it’s tricky to make your language Star Warsy without going overboard and getting cheesy. Maybe it’s because we’ve all got creatures on the brain, but I think you nailed the balance here with the various animal metaphors in this post.

It was also nice to see Scudi rely on her intellect and slicing skills more, even though she ultimately fell back on using her lightsaber. Part of the appeal for me as a reader when I see “non-combat” characters in the ACC is seeing how they approach danger in novel ways.

Things To Think About

The ending here was a bit abrupt. For three posts now, Andrelious has been, as you put it, the krayt dragon to Scudi’s womp rat. He finally catches up to her, she’s totally outmatched by this vicious Sith who’s been chasing her… and then she kicks him in his Darksaber and the match is over.

Andrelious wasn’t planning on letting his prey slip away. With her droid helper out of action, Scudi was almost completely defenceless. Which was exactly how Andrelious liked it.

Don’t just charge in. She has that blaster. One shot would be enough to make me look silly..

Scudi continued to move away from the Sith. She had already decided that the best policy was to get as far away from Andrelious as possible; he was more than her match in spite of his seemingly poor physical condition.

Andrelious exchanged his lightsaber for his blaster. He no longer cared about how he hurt Scudi. He just wanted to put her out of her misery and get back to dealing with his real target.

A tall, blue skinned humanoid was never going to find it easy to blend into crowds even on a diverse world such as Nar Shaddaa, and soon Andrelious had spotted Scudi trying to push her way through a crowd of drunks outside a nearby cantina. He fired off three shots, not worrying for one second about the possibility of hitting an innocent.

The first shot slammed into the ground, scattering the crowd around Scudi. The female did her best to take advantage of the mass panic, ducking into an alleyway as the next two shots came within inches of finding their target.

Range finders. He won’t miss again! Scudi realised.

The Plagueian edged along the alleyway, determined to keep a wall between herself and Andrelious’ blaster. As she moved along, she started to hum a tune that she remembered from a drama holo she’d watched some time ago.

Scudi reached what appeared to be a dead end, but she noticed the wall directly in front of her was just a few feet out of her reach. The Chiss reached for her grappling hook, throwing it towards the top of the wall.

“I think you’d best stop there. I’m not going to miss,” Andrelious announced, having just arrived on the scene, his blaster rifle trained on Scudi.

“Have you actually considered the political fallout if you kill me? Clearly you’re with the Brotherhood,” the Chiss stated flatly.

“I think I’ll live. How would anyone know what happened to you? You don’t even have the Force. You won’t be a loss to whichever clan you’re with,” the Sith snapped.

“That’s not the first time I’ve heard that. But can you really bring yourself to kill me in cold blood? I’m not a threat to you. Or anyone around you,” the Chiss replied.

“I’m not going to take that risk. You’ll go back to your Clan. You’ll tell them what happened here. And then you’ll come after my family,” Andrelious said, swapping his blaster for his black handled lightsaber.

Scudi realised the time for talking was over, but she was certain that her enemy wasn’t expecting her next move as she produced her saberstaff.

“Maybe this will be interesting after all! At least for a few moments!” Andrelious roared, planting his feet firmly on the ground as he swung his lightsaber towards Scudi. The Chiss raised her blade just in time to clumsily deflect the attack away, before attempting to counter with a slash aimed towards the Archanis Quaestor’s legs. Andrelious was already leaping over the attack, the Force screaming a warning even before the female had started to move.

Scudi cursed under her breath as she blocked another fierce attack, doing her best to grip onto her weapon as she defended against the increasingly furious Seeker.

As angry as he was, Andrelious allowed his years of experience to guide his movements. He let Scudi to go onto the offensive, easily blocking a series of increasingly desperate attacks. He knew it wouldn’t be long before the Chiss overextended herself, and, as she attempted to stab the Taldryanite through the chest, Mimosa-Inahj quickly nullified the attack. As Scudi started her next movement, Andrelious, seemingly happy to just defend, jinked at the last moment, smiling smugly as the crimson blade of his lightsaber chopped cleanly through Scudi’s left wrist, severing her hand and leaving her saberstaff to roll harmlessly away.

“This is the end of the road for you, but I’m curious as to who you are. Perhaps you’re worth more to me alive,” Andrelious explained as Scudi fell to the ground.

The Taldryanite extended his right hand over Scudi’s head. He commanded the Force to burrow its way into the woman’s mind.

“So. You’re with Plagueis. And you know your way around a datapad. Very much like my eldest daughter,” Andrelious declared as he did his best to interpret the dozens of thoughts he was stealing.

“Please. I’ll tell you everything. Just stop it hurting,” Scudi begged.

“This is the only way I can be sure I get the truth, Miss Ferria. And it is clear that you know a great deal of things that will be of interest to my clan. We are going to need time to find out exactly how useful you are,” Andrelious declared.

“So you’re not going to kill me?” the female asked.

“For now, you’re coming with me. You will be treated as a prisoner of Taldryan. If you resist, or it turns out that you are not as useful as you seem, I will not hesitate to execute you. You’re fortunate to only lose a hand,” the Sith hissed, gesturing over to the severed hand.

Scudi climbed slowly to her feet, the blade of Andrelious’ lightsaber never more than a couple of inches from her throat.

“Follow me out. And don’t try ANYTHING,” the Quaestor ordered.

Scudi saw little choice but to obey.

I will get revenge for you, Bastion. I promise.

Augur Archenksov, 17 May, 2019 10:15 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

Once again, strong combat. You managed to take the very uneven saber battle between the two combatants and make it interesting to read without straining belief.

Things To Think About

I have mixed feelings about the ending. On the one hand, I would have liked a little more depth when it came to the Force Interrogation, which felt almost like you were checking a box to avoid executing Scudi. That said, we’ve been knocking people quite often in this tournament for pulling the focus off of the fight between the two characters, so perhaps it was wise of you not to go too far in that direction.