SWL Andrelious J. Inahj vs. OT Kanis Da'uul

Warlord Andrelious J. Inahj

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Male Human, Sith, Seeker
vs.

Obelisk Templar Kanis Da'uul

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Female Human, Obelisk, Juggernaut
Comment

Greetings guys,

Congrats to Andrelious on his victory. This battle primarily came down to small differences in two categories, but Kanis, I liked your combat writing overall and if not for the final post seeming to come to a bit of a rushed end you might have taken this battle.

Syntax - 4 - 3, Andrelious. This may have gone 3-3, because Andrelious made multiple mistakes with dialogue formatting, but only one actually caught my attention on my first read. On the other hand, Kanis' mistakes were a bit more obvious in an initial reading, and one of them completely changed the meaning of a sentence.
Story - 3 - 3, Tie. I enjoyed Kanis' first post quite a bit. Good combat writing. Andrelious, make sure to "show, not tell." Kanis, your last post just felt a bit rushed, and that kept your score down. Had this come down to story alone, Kanis might have come out the victor.
Realism - 4 - 3, Andrelious. Here Andrelious had a greater variety of skill and powers used in the fight brought him the victory. Did not gain a strong feeling for opponents from either writer.
Continuity - 5 - 5, Tie. No issues.

Hall Event: Figureheads [Clan Arcona]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Competition Event: Figureheads - ACC
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants SWL Andrelious J. Inahj, OT Kanis Da'uul
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
SWL Andrelious J. Inahj's Character Snapshot Snapshot
OT Kanis Da'uul's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Selen: Arcona Citadel - Cantina
Last Post 28 August, 2014 4:22 AM UTC
Assigned Judge Telaris "Mav" Cantor
Syntax - 15%
Deleted Lynnyaria Meraudstar
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: Some dialogue formatting issues. Rationale: Multiple dialogue formatting issues, some missing punctuation, as in "I will die for the good of my Clan Rollmaster." Redundant language, e.g. "slowly began pushing ... whom managed to slowly force"
Story - 40%
Deleted Lynnyaria Meraudstar
Score: 3 Score: 3
Rationale: Straightforward fight. Decent combat, but you could elaborate on areas of combat. Instead of something like "...began to demonstrate his prowess with the form," write what the character did that showed that prowess Rationale: Combat well described, but resolution seems rushed. First post was better than second by a good margin.
Realism - 25%
Deleted Lynnyaria Meraudstar
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: Some variety in Force power usage, and an aspect or two referenced, but overall did not gain a strong feeling for Kanis. I would also suggest you try to build an Aspect over Kooki; I think it'd fit your character. Rationale: Did not get a strong sense of either character's personalities or combat styles beyond lightsabers.
Continuity - 20%
Deleted Lynnyaria Meraudstar
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues Rationale: No issues
Deleted's Score: 3.8 Lynnyaria Meraudstar's Score: 3.4
Posts

citadel
The Citadel Cantina is located on the second level of the Arcona Citadel. The bar itself is small on the surface, but possess an expansive selection thanks to a clever servos-operated storage system built into the underside of the bar. A bartender only need punch in what drink they require (other than the typical stock) and within a minute the bottle is distributed transparisteel display panels. Relaxed, soothing music plays over the speakers, and a big-screen display terminal with access to the holonet sits across from a series of comfortable lounge chairs and stools.

cantina
The Cantina is full-service and is manned by a gruff, one-eyed Rodian named Mick. Mick is a grumpy, former sergeant who served in the Arcona Armed Forces years and years ago. He goes about his business with a series of grunts, gestures, and monosyllabic dialogue. Though a man of few words, he's a genius of alcoholic beverages and mixology. Mick has a very strict rule about no fighting or brawling within the Cantina. The mess hall, on the other hand, is a different story.

messhall

The Cantina opens up into a dedicated mess-hall that can hold up to a hundred sentients before it starts to feel claustrophobic. Open at all hours, the mess-hall has been sanctioned as an acceptable area for members to settle aggressions and other frustrations. The tables are all firmly bolted into the halls floor to avoid being thrown over, and are crafted out of durable material that has held it’s own throughout the years. At the far end of the mess-hall there is a pair of double-doors that lead to the kitchen and storage area. The mess-hall is maintained by a full staff of droids, and occasionally a new recruit who has earned the ire of the Rollmaster.

“Get me another one, Mick!” Andrelious stated as he downed the last of a bottle of Ebla Beer. The Rodian simply nodded, handing the Warlord the requested drink. Inahj had already had two bottles, and was clearly in no mood at stopping there. Mick suspected that he was in for a long night. The civil war had largely left the cantina alone, which greatly pleased the aging bartender.

As he handed the bottle over to Andrelious, the one-eyed alien spotted that a third party had entered the cantina. With a grunt, he pointed in the direction of the new arrival.

“What? Don’t tell me that Kooki’s come to get me. Can’t I have any time to myself anymore?” Inahj sighed. The Warlord swung himself around on his barstool, expecting to come face-to-face with his wife. Instead, he was presented with the sight of Obelisk Templar Kanis Da’uul.

“Rollmaster Inahj! I’ve heard terrible things! The Arconae are out to destroy us!” the young man stammered, clearly oblivious as to what had been happening.

“It’s not the Arconae, boy. The Arconae are our heroes. They were working for the benefit of Arcona before you were even thought of! Not that Cethgus or Valtiere would have you know that. All they care about is their own personal glory. That is why they have taken up arms against those of us who see the bigger picture. Tell me you can see that bigger picture!” Andrelious snapped, moving to his feet.

“They warned me you’d be like this. I am sorry, Rollmaster. I didn’t want to believe that you’d been swayed by the lies of old men.” Kanis replied.

“It’s a little more clear cut than that. I don’t like this war, Da’uul. I hate it. All I want right now is to keep my wife and children safe. To do that, I have to get rid of Cethgus. With him gone, we can all relax.” Inahj stated calmly, finishing his latest drink.

Andrelious turned back to regard Mick.

“I’m sorry, Mick. It’s become a little too hot in here. I think I’m going to go for a walk,” the former Imperial stated. He started to head towards the exit, but Kanis sidestepped, blocking the Warlord’s path. “Really? Just stop and think about this. You’ll gain nothing from fighting me, Da’uul. Stand aside. If you’re really polite to Mick, he may even let you have a real drink.” Andrelious snarled, trying to physically shove the younger Human out of his way. Kanis refused to budge.

“I may be young, Rollmaster, but that means I, like the Quaestors and their followers, am the future of this clan. If you want to leave, so be it. But you’ll have to get through me first!”

A loud coughing noise emanated from the direction of the Rodian bartender. Both Arconans looked around to see the alien glaring at them. Andrelious understood Mick’s unspoken statement at once, nodding in response. He turned away from Kanis, walking in the direction of the mess hall. The Obelisk, puzzled by this, started to follow, arming himself with the large blade known to certain members of Qel-Droma as the Fang.

As he crossed into the mess hall, Andrelious felt a sudden urge to turn around. He turned just in time to see his fellow Arconan charging at him, apparently having intended to cut the Rollmaster’s windpipe from behind. The Warlord reached for his lightsaber, its crimson blade springing into life just in time to force the Obelisk to abort his attack.

Kanis flashed past Inahj, skidding to a halt a several yards away. Turning as he unclipped his lightsaber, he was already beginning to sprint towards the ex-Imperial as he thumbed the activation switch. Andrelious, amazed by the sheer speed of the Coruscanti, raised his blade in a defensive posture. Leaping high into the air, the Obelisk Templar somersaulted as he flew over Andrelious, slashing towards the Rollmaster’s head. Inahj moved his blade upwards, successfully parrying the attack, but could do nothing to prevent Kanis landing far enough away to avoid being drawn into a full-on duel.

“Stop running around, boy! Come and fight!” Andrelious hissed.

“Getting angry because you are too old to keep up with the youth of Arcona, Rollmaster?” Kanis asked with a smug grin as he looked over his shoulder at the Arconae supporter, resheathing the Fang.

The Qel-Droman held a tight, high grip on the crosshatched Obelisk blue synth weave strips that formed the grip on the hilt of his lightsaber, the azure blade casting a dull sapphire glow on his armor and cloak.

“I am willing to die for the good of my Clan Rollmaster, are you willing to do the same? Or are you going to keep siding with those traitors? I implore you Andrelious, make the right decision.” Kanis nearly pleaded, giving the Sith one last chance to switch sides.

“I am willing to die for the good of Arcona, it is you who is betraying every living, breathing ideal of the Shadow Clan,” Inahj spat, “I saw greatness in you, but looking back I suppose I was wrong Da’uul; I am almost sorry that I have to kill you, but I do so to save my Clan.”

The Rollmaster’s eyes followed the Coruscanti as he arced through the air in a somersault, landing swiftly on the other side of his opponent. Andrelious charged towards Kanis, spinning into a slash. The young Equite spun around hearing the other Human’s footfalls, his azure blade swung in a counterattack. The blades collided in a bright display of lavender, the Templar could feel the pressure in his forearms.

“We’re evenly matched,” Kanis thought to himself.

The Coruscanti gritted his teeth as he fought to keep his ground in the clash.The Qel-Droman put all the might he could muster into one push, knocking the blades to the side as he threw his left shoulder into his opponent.

Andrelious staggered back a few steps losing his balance, it was then that Kanis saw his opening. Charging in, the Templar initiated a downward slash which his opponent was more than able to counter. Kanis upped the ante as he began throwing a series of aggressive strikes at his opponent. Due to their differences in height and athletic ability, Andrelious was really only able to counter the offensive of his younger adversary while being driven back by the growing kinetic force of Kanis’ consecutive attacks.

After driving his opponent back ten or so steps, the Obelisk felt that he’d gotten a fair understanding of his opponent’s reaction time. Throwing one final slash, Kanis spun his saber back around in a feint; Andrelious brought his saber into another swipe to counter Kanis’ attack.

The Qel-Droman dropped his arm and deactivated his saber. Shifting to the side, he threw his body into a spin. The flat of his foot impacted the back of the Warlord’s hand, the cumulative force knocked away the Rollmaster’s arm, ultimately loosening his grip and throwing the hilt from his hand. Kanis spun out of the kick, flipped his hilt into a reverse grip as he reignited it before throwing a quick upward slash at the Sith’s waistline.

Andrelious unclipped the second hilt from his belt and ignited it, angling the blade down to counter the younger Equite’s strike.

Andrelious held his lightsaber firm as his opponent attacked, raining down a variety of different blows. The Warlord remained relatively calm as he parried them away, his concentration staying firmly on the task at hand. He was driven by an unbreakable determination not to lose to an individual who was so much younger than he was, even one as fit and able as Kanis.

The Templar kept on probing for an opening, able to force his adversary back, but unable to find the breakthrough he needed. Physical strength and speed were on his side, but Inahj’s defences remained as solid as the hull of an Imperial Star Destroyer. Kanis tried various tactics, but nothing seemed to be able to bypass the solid swordsmanship that the Arconan Rollmaster continued to demonstrate. Becoming a little desperate for a breakthrough, the younger Human switched to a second lightsaber form. Andrelious smiled inwardly. He had been waiting for this.

As the Qel-Droman began to demonstrate his prowess with this secondary form, Inahj began a vicious counter attack. Kanis was completely caught out by the Warlord’s sudden burst of enthusiasm. He deflected the first few furious slashes away, but was fooled completely when Andrelious feinted downwards, before changing direction into an aggressive upward thrusting attack. The crimson blade of the Rollmaster’s lightsaber cut deep into the Obelisk’s left shoulder. Inahj was no expert in medicine, but he judged by the young man’s anguished cry that he had caused his opponent a great deal of pain.

“I warned you, boy. Now I suggest you stop this game.” Andrelious spat, keeping his lightsaber pointed directly at the Coruscant native’s head.

“I’ll not let you and the Arconae rebellion win, Rollmaster!” the Templar replied, resuming his attack with his original, more preferred form. As he tried to move his left arm, however, it quickly became clear that the ex-Imperial’s lightsaber had severed key muscles. Each and every movement became extremely painful, severely hampering the young Obelisk’s ability to operate his lightsaber with any real skill. In no time, Andrelious began to take control of the duel, deliberately aiming his attacks to maximise the discomfort for his opponent. Da’uul desperately called out to the Force, trying to repair the muscle damage whilst fending off the increasingly aggressive slashes from his adversary. Inahj, sensing what his opponent was doing, appeared to go into overdrive at the precise moment when Kanis began to heal. With an attack that had a little more power than the Templar had become familiar with, Andrelious managed to make another breakthrough, this time allowing him to slide his blade diagonally across the Coruscanti’s chest. As the Warlord’s weapon cut through his lungs, Kanis immediately had incredible difficulty breathing. He dropped to the floor, clutching the wound desperately, his weapon rolling uselessly away.

“I warned you, Templar Da’uul. You’re Arconan. I really did not want to have to do this, but, after the fight you put up, you’ve left me with little choice. I hereby find you guilty of treason against Clan Arcona. By way of the emergency, I have the power to decide your fate here and now. Goodbye, traitor.” Andrelious hissed. With a single, brutal slash, he relieved his defeated opponent of his head.

Returning his lightsabers to their belt clips, Inahj picked up Kanis’ discarded weapon. With a smile, he tucked it into his belt.

Another present for my darling Kooki, he thought, leaving the room.

Kanis repeated his previous steps, striking rapidly at his opponent; bright flashes of lavender lit up the area with each blow driving the Rollmaster back.

“You have overstayed your welcome, Inahj,” Kanis hissed through gritted teeth as he spun around, throwing his saber into another swipe.

Andrelious launched his saber in a defensive slash trying to bounce back his opponent’s offensive. “Listen to yourself boy, they’ve corrupted you!” the Rollmaster spat.

“Who do you expect me to believe, old man? The Quaestors who have yet steer me wrong, or some washed up old Sith.” Kanis replied as one of the defensive strokes his opponent threw locked them into a clash, bathing them in an elegant lavender hue.

Kanis leaned in, slowly pushing the lightsabers closer to Inahj; the Warlord flexed his muscles as he slowly began pushing the weapons back in the direction of the Obelisk whom managed to slowly force the blades back in the Sith’s direction. As the beams grew closer to the Rollmaster; he forced his saber down and to the right taking Kanis blade and his own away from his face.

In response, the Templar leapt back, pulling his weapon free. Andrelious bolted forward towards his opponent.

Spotting his adversary’s charge, Kanis cursed quietly as he impulsively decided on a course of action. Standing his ground, the Qel-Droman waited for a few moments before rolling to the side. When the Rollmaster slashed, his blade found empty air.

In the midst of his roll, the younger Equite lashed out with his saber, the azure column of light separating the other Human’s leg from his body at the thigh.

The loss of his leg made Andrelious lose his center of gravity and he began to fall. Kanis flipped his saber into a reverse grip as he lunged with an upward strike, his blade passing through the Sith’s midsection separating the Warlord’s torso from his legs.

The Templar stood over his dying opponent.

“The Quaestors will prevail,” Kanis said before he stabbed the burning beam of azure into the Sith’s windpipe.