Warlord Rajhin vs. Adept Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama

Warlord Rajhin

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Vizsla
Male Togorian, Sith, Shadow, Obelisk
vs.

Adept Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama

Elder 1, Elder tier, Clan Taldryan
Female Zeltron, Sith, Marauder
Comment

First of all, thank you both for competing and finishing this match. It was one of those rare gems of two competent, knowledgeable writers going at it.

There's not much to say that I didn't put into your post comments, but there is a bit to touch on.

You both had so few errors that I was reaching and getting nit-picky, which considering both of your histories, isn't surprising.

Firstly was the involvement of the guards, and the language used, i.e. in Rajhin's post introducing them, he had them show up with 'riot batons and shields'. I very much read this as riot batons AND riot shields, by inference, which would have changed both of your ending posts due to riot shields being lightsaber resistant. Both of you chose to write these as the other riot shield, so upon conferring with Arch, we more or less let it go. There was some confusion on the language used during Erinye's post (stun baton versus riot baton, two different items) and the inclusion suddenly of a 'magna-glove'. I let this go because it was minor, and no real specifics were laid out on the security forces that showed up.

The second thing was the inclusion of Rajhin's claws, and them effectively immobilizing Erinyes in her post, as well as causing damage. We chose not to ding this for realism or story, as Togorians do have claws, even if they're not Feat related. This is leading to a possible review of species with Natural Weapons as it were (Wookies, Shivs, etc) and more clearly line out the capabilities.

All in all, this was an enjoyable match to read and grade, and I hope to see more of it in the future!

With a score of 4.075 to 4.05 (good LORD that was close), Seraine is the winner!

Hall Duelist Hall - Ranked
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Warlord Rajhin, Adept Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama
Winner Adept Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Warlord Rajhin's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Adept Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Nar Shaddaa: Club Vertica
Last Post 25 October, 2019 7:39 PM UTC
Assigned Judge General Stres'tron'garmis
Syntax - 15%
General Seraine "Erinyes" Taldrya Ténama Champion Rajhin Cindertail
Score: 4 (Advantage) Score: 4
Rationale: Very few errors throughout. Rationale: While you had very, very few syntax errors, you were on par with Seraine for errors, but far below on volume, hence her gaining advantage here.
Story - 40%
General Seraine "Erinyes" Taldrya Ténama Champion Rajhin Cindertail
Score: 3 (Advantage) Score: 3
Rationale: Things noted in the comments brought you back down to a 3, but your control and expanded narrative gained you advantage. Rationale: While your first post added story elements and advanced the narrative greatly, your second was lacking in action, conflict, and satisfying closure.
Realism - 25%
General Seraine "Erinyes" Taldrya Ténama Champion Rajhin Cindertail
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: The gutshots in your final post brought this down a touch. Rationale: No errors found
Continuity - 20%
General Seraine "Erinyes" Taldrya Ténama Champion Rajhin Cindertail
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues found Rationale: No issues found
General Seraine "Erinyes" Taldrya Ténama's Score: 4.07 Champion Rajhin Cindertail's Score: 4.05
Posts

Nar Shaddaa Club Vertica

A gambler’s den of the Vertical City’s greatest bettors, Club Vertica is a casino reserved for the wealthiest of Nar Shaddaa. Cardshark droids are used exclusively to deal hands to those willing to risk their credits at the sabacc tables. Cheating is rendered near impossible under the surveillance of the droid's six photoreceptors. That, of course, does not stop the downtrodden from accusing others of being a fraud, which can often happen before someone receives a blaster bolt between the eyes. The few that have been able to use skiffers undetected are counted as some of the best swindlers in the Galaxy.

Cerulean lights illuminate the tables, making concealment during a game difficult. Seated around most of the oval tables are a mix of gamblers from different species, succumbing to their addiction for the ultimate prize—the sabacc pot. Credits are tossed onto the tables forming mountains that draw in fierce competitors with deeper pockets and faster wit than the usual patrons.

Behind the games of sabacc, drinks are being served from the alcove of a small bar. Most of these are a shade of blue in color, expertly mixed to dull the senses of all but the hardiest individuals. Onstage, a local band sets the mood of the venue with an upbeat number that deafens out most conversations. The stakes are always high at Club Vertica.

Club Vertica, home to Nar Shaddaa’s wealthiest—and those who wanted to meet with them, Erinyes thought with a wry smile. If there was one good thing about her run-in with the Collective on Chyron, it was that it had given her an excuse to spend time in some of the galaxy’s best clubs while she met with information brokers. Even better, the ones who knew she was a Sith were usually happy to ply her with free booze, to prevent whatever doom they imagined her inflicting on them. As long as she made sure to report back to Rian while she was still sober enough not to forget anything important, there really wasn’t a downside… except tonight.

Shortly after starting her second drink, Erinyes felt someone’s gaze on her; not the kind of gaze she usually got as a Zeltron in a flattering dress, but something far more sinister. She did her best to look nonchalant as she glanced around the sabacc tables for the likely culprit. Luckily, it didn’t take her long to spot the Togorian stalking towards her, barely bothering to hide his predatory stare.

“Celisa Talfeydra,” the hunter rumbled when he got into Erinyes’ earshot. “The con artist.” He sounded like everyone else in this place, all clipped and snobbish, with almost none of the growl Erinyes had expected.

“I think you’ve gotten me mixed up with someone else,” Erinyes said, then sipped from her drink. It was at least partly true; she was here under her own name tonight, not the alias she used to swindle rich businessmen out of free drinks.

The edges of the Togorian’s mouth curled up in a feline smile. “Your bounty says otherwise. Now, my dear, come along quietly. I’d hate for this to become… unpleasant.”

“This isn’t going to end the way you think it will,” Erinyes said, injecting a note of warning into her voice.

The hunter craned his neck down until his amber irises—and sclera, Erinyes noted—were barely a palm’s width from her face. “You’re trying my patience, girl.” The last word came out as a full-throated growl, and for a moment, Erinyes felt an instinctual oh-kriff-it’s-gonna-eat-me fear slither through her gut.

Nobody who’d spent as long studying the Dark Side as Erinyes had was going to let themselves be put off by a little fear, though. The Adept shoved the feeling out of her mind and forced herself to grin. “Bring it, Whiskers.”

Before she’d even finished her sentence, Erinyes felt a chill run up her spine as the Force whispered a warning in her ear. The hunter snarled, and one massive paw lashed out, claws bared to rip through the Adept’s throat—only to stop in his tracks as a deadly violet glow drowned out the glint in his eye, and a snap-hiss announced the presence of Erinyes’ lightsaber. The Togorian’s eyes went wide in alarm as he realised the tip of the Sith weapon was bare centimetres from his throat.

Now, Erinyes’ grin was genuine. “What’s your name?”

“Not your concern,” the Togorian growled. The aristocratic lilt had vanished from his voice.

Erinyes raised an eyebrow. “You want me to keep calling you ‘Whiskers’?”

An awkward pause ran between them for a moment, until the Togorian let out a grumble. “Rajhin.”

“Thank you. Now, Rajhin, I’d rather not be banned from this place for starting fights, so I’ll give you a chance to do the smart thing and walk away. Or, you can keep pushing me and have your name embroidered into your pelt when I make it into a rug.” Erinyes knew that angry and frightened opponents were prone to making mistakes, a fact she used to her advantage so often that she’d incorporated it into her lightsaber style like any other technique.

Rajhin’s reply was a growl too nuanced to be a simple outburst of emotion, and in the same moment, Erinyes sensed another threat—not from the Togorian himself, but the eye-wateringly gaudy protocol droid that followed in his wake. The lower half of the droid’s face opened up to reveal a set of glowing red optical sensors, and it grew by nearly a metre in height as its torso and limbs extended.

The casino patrons closest to the two combatants, despite having been awestruck at the sight of a mythical “light-saber” in their midst, came to their senses and backed away as Rajhin’s droid transformed. Erinyes shifted to her left to keep both Rajhin and the droid in her field of vision as blaster barrels emerged from the droid’s forearms. The E-XD unit extended its weapons toward Erinyes, but the first shots came a fraction of a second slower than she expected—and to her unpleasant surprise, the droid’s targeting subroutines were sharp enough that both pairs of blaster bolts were aimed directly at her head. The Adept grumbled to herself and shifted in one direction while she swept her lightsaber in the other, deflecting the shots harmlessly into a nearby wall.

Screams of alarm and terror ran through the casino as the other patrons finally realised their lives were in danger and decided they wanted no part in it. Over the E-XD unit’s shoulder, Erinyes saw Rajhin backing away amidst the chaos; not fleeing the battle like most of the club’s patrons, but withdrawing just far enough to avoid imminent harm while he studied his opponent’s technique. She also sensed the droid lining up its next shots, of course, and opened herself up to the Force to amplify her movements as she darted forward and into lightsaber range.

The E-XD unit tried valiantly to back away as it drew a bead on Erinyes, but its preference for firing accurately over firing quickly gave the Adept enough time to close the distance between them. One lightsaber-stroke later, both of the droid’s blaster arms clattered to the floor. Erinyes lazily twirled her weapon into position for a finishing blow, but paused when she sensed impending danger: Rajhin, again. The Togorian had circled around the edge of the fight so the droid wouldn’t obscure his view, and Erinyes could barely see the ball of invisible force that had coalesced in front of him.

As Rajhin launched the projectile, Erinyes grasped the E-XD unit with the Force and jerked it sideways, into the line of fire. The screech of rending metal rang through the air as the attack slammed into the droid’s chassis, spending sparks flying and forcing Erinyes to leap backward before the droid toppled into her. In response, Erinyes drew on the Force and flung her makeshift shield back at its owner. Perhaps not surprisingly, Rajhin deftly stepped to one side before he got clobbered by the droid’s remains. Even as the now-useless E-XD unit crashed into a sabacc table behind him, the Togorian reached out with an invisible hand to lift the Zeltron bodily into the air and hurl her into a holodisplay mounted high on a nearby wall.

Erinyes rotated in mid-air quickly enough to get her legs “underneath” her before she hit the wall, but the landing still sent a jolt of pain through her lower body; dress shoes weren’t exactly built to absorb impact. Rather than punish her feet a second time, she pushed back against the casino floor with the Force to slow her fall and landed in a half-crouch. As painful as the brief flight had been, it had also shown Erinyes something important: Rajhin had enough skill with the Force to keep her out of lightsaber range. That posed a problem for the Adept, whose combat style relied on overwhelming opponents quickly. Victory in this battle would come down to who endured for longest—but would it be her?

General Stres'tron'garmis, 26 October, 2019 9:17 PM UTC

Positive Takeaways


You set the tone, the narrative, and the ambience for the entire fight here. Some good back and forth and action was had.

Can Be Improved


Honestly have almost nothing to say here, I found an erronous comma but no realism issues.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl for the briefest of moments as the two combatants locked eyes from across the club floor. A cacophony of panicked screams and dance music of questionable artistic merit filled the room as patrons continued to scramble for the exits. Security officers were no doubt on their way to quell the disturbance, a fact which Rajhin plotted to use to his advantage.

A twinge of fear shot up the Togorian’s spine. What was supposed to be a plump target of opportunity identified by his droid quickly became a life or death situation. Raj promptly realized why the bounty on Celisa Talfeydra had been so high, too high for a simple con artist. He had not anticipated facing another Force user, certainly not while unarmed and unprepared. The blazing amethyst blade in the Zeltron’s hand presented a deadly obstacle. The slightest miscalculation and it would all be over in a flash. Rajhin scanned the room for anything he could use to defend himself and even the odds. He briefly considered fleeing the scene and living to fight another day, but this mark had destroyed a valuable piece of his property and that required an answer.

The saber wielding Celisa went back on the offensive, denying her former Obelisk opponent the opportunity to formulate a strategy. With supernatural speed and grace the Zeltron deftly hopped onto a gambling table and launched herself at Rajhin. Celisa's saber trailed behind her as she moved through the air, poised for a horizontal slash.

The Torgorian shifted his weight to his back leg to steady himself with both double-jointed knees bending slightly ready to move. He extended his left hand out while pulling his right toward his body, palm open and facing toward his opponent. Long years of brutal training took hold, and Rajhin acted on instinct, channeling his fear of dying, anger at the insult of losing a valuable possession, and determination to prevail into his right hand. In the blink of an eye, he pulled his right hand back and extended his left hand. A single volley of cerulean tendrils of lightning left the Togorian’s right hand aimed directly at his advancing opponent.

Celisa reacted faster than Raj could have possibly anticipated. While moving through the air, the Zeltron swung her saber forward to catch the crackling burst of her opponent’s hate made manifest. The purple lightsaber caught the volley of Force lightning like a magnet, grounding it harmlessly. However, the attack had a force of its own behind it and pushed the saber backward, knocking the woman off course. Celisa maintained a grip on her lightsaber, but struggled to land on her feet as the unexpected lightning attack had interrupted her momentum.

Rajhin stood in shock; he had practiced that maneuver countless times against other Force users. The Zeltron’s reaction time had been far beyond that of a typical Force user. It dawned on the Togarian that even if he had his usual weapons with him, he would still be in mortal danger. This was no journeyman. He had played his proverbial trump card to no avail. The urge to run returned, but he suppressed it.


Erinyes collected herself from a pile of gambling chips on the cold club floor. This overgrown house cat had surprised her twice now. Still, the fact she could sense a tinge of fear from her opponent brought a smirk to her face. This Rajhin had probably seen the bounty on her alias and thought it was an easy score.

The flashing neon lights of the now empty and disheveled club room flash on the combatants' faces. Erinyes pointed her lightsaber toward the giant tiger, “Last chance whiskers, walk away or I get a new fur coat just in time for fall on Arx.”

Rajhin’s eyes darted around the room as if looking for a solution to the present dilemma. The pair were interrupted by the arrival of three Weequay security guards wielding riot batons and shields.

“Stop right there, criminal scum! Surrender your, um, weapon and pay the fine or go to jail!” One of the guards exclaimed as he ignited his riot baton.

Rajhin’s face quickly turned to one of fear, an act Erinyes found less than convincing. “Oh, thank the Force you’re here. This Jedi has attacked me; she’s insane. Please help!”

General Stres'tron'garmis, 26 October, 2019 9:19 PM UTC

Positive Takeaways


"Stop right there, criminal scum!"

Well there's a flashback. Excellent action, as well as reaction to Raj possibly being in over his head.

Can Be Improved


Not much to say here, I found only a few comma errors and no realism issues.

Rajhin’s outburst brought the security guards to a halt, and the three Weequays exchanged bewildered looks, as though they were taking a silent vote on whether the hulking tiger-man or the Zeltron with the laser sword was the more pressing threat. Erinyes simply stared in disbelief at the Togorian’s attempt to play the victim—she didn’t even blame him for trying, really, he was just a terrible actor—and the only thing that stopped her from openly facepalming was the risk of Rajhin hitting her while her eyes were covered. Instead, she quirked an eyebrow at the hesitant guards, silently daring them to continue.

The moment of awkward stillness was all the opportunity Rajhin needed to act. He lunged forward and hooked his claws over the nearest guard’s riot shield, then tossed the betaplast panel at Erinyes. She effortlessly ducked the incoming projectile, but the distraction gave the other two guards an opening to rush her with shields and batons at the ready.

Drawing on the aches and bruises inflicted when Rajhin tossed her into the wall to fuel her anger, Erinyes delved into a Marauder’s battle-trance and charged at her newest foes. One guard hunkered down behind his shield, and looked like he was going to stand his ground for a moment, before fear and better judgement convinced him to retreat. A single stab through the centre of his riot shield put him out of the fight. Erinyes didn’t bother withdrawing her blade from its first victim as the second guard closed in, instead cleaving the unfortunate guard half in twain as she brought her lightsaber around to knock the incoming attack off-course. A flick of her wrist reversed her weapon’s course and took the other guard’s head off his shoulders with a sizzle but no resistance from the blade, and the stench of burning flesh filled the air.

Turning back to the main event, Erinyes saw that Rajhin was still grappling with the third casino guard, as though they’d decided to resolve their differences with a waltz-off. It also mean that Rajhin’s back was completely exposed, which gave Erinyes the perfect opportunity to end the battle. The Adept launched herself forward, lightsaber raised at just the right angle to shear one of the Togorian’s arms off at the shoulder—only to realise her miscalculation when Rajhin spun around and maneuvered the Weequay so that his activated stun baton intercepted Erinyes’ lightsaber. The violet blade ricocheted off the weapon with a whining thump.

Snarling, Rajhin slammed his palm into the surviving Weequay’s shoulder. The force of the blow sent the guard flailing backward, and the motion translated into an oddly-angled overhand strike that sailed towards Erinyes’ head. The Adept sidestepped the blow, then gripped her lightsaber in both hands and swung at the incoming weapon to knock it back at Rajhin. The Togorian twisted aside with speed only the Force could’ve granted, and Erinyes slashed downward, taking the Weequay’s arm off at the elbow.

Instead of falling to the floor, though, the severed limb changed course in defiance of physics and sailed horizontally into Rajhin’s grip—along with the stun baton, which was still both active and securely nestled in the guard’s magna-gloved hand. The Togorian shrugged and grasped the appendage as though this sort of improvised armament was completely normal for him, then swung it in a wide horizontal arc that nearly hit its former owner en route to Erinyes’ torso.

The Adept darted backward and out of Rajhin’s reach, but instead of the strike narrowly missing her, Erinyes frowned as she found herself waiting for the baton to pass through the spot where she’d been standing. Her warnings from the Force were usually more precise than this. What had changed all of a sudden? A moment later, an almost leisurely ripple in the Force signalled Rajhin’s next attack, but the warning abruptly changed to a panicked alarm as the Togorian suddenly picked up speed. Erinyes threw herself to one side and answered with a strike of her own, which Rajhin parried with the same unreasonable quickness she’d used when throwing it—but when he reached out to rake his claws across Erinyes’ face, the blow came at his usual above-average speed, not in a blur of motion. Through it all, the Force whispered warnings to Erinyes, but the missives seemed slightly out of sync with the attacks.

Then, finally, the pattern clicked in the Adept’s mind. It wasn’t her senses that were faltering; Rajhin’s speed actually was varying from movement to movement, as though he were toggling his Force-granted alacrity on and off—or more likely, that he was struggling to sustain it. Erinyes sighed in relief at the realisation, but the gesture was drowned out by the deep, wearied breaths of her own fatigue taking its toll. Her opponent didn’t seem to be doing any better on that front, at least, and the Adept resolved to finish the battle while she still had the advantage.

Of course, whether Rajhin would cooperate with Erinyes’ intent was another matter—and so far, all signs pointed to him having the same indifference to outside pressure as any other feline. When Erinyes lunged forward with another strike, the Togorian caught the attack with the electrified end of his macabre weapon, then seized Erinyes’ lightsaber arm with his free hand and dug his talons in deep. The Adept tasted blood as she bit back a scream, and felt warm rivulets running down her arm as her main-hand lightsaber fell from her grip. With a flick of her wrist and a touch of the Force, Erinyes summoned her second lightsaber into her off hand, its blade flaring to life as she slashed at the Togorian with blinding speed. Rajhin pivoted to avoid the blow, a split-second too late to prevent the attack from reaching its target: the still-active riot baton. The violet beam sheared through the un-electrified base of the scavenged weapon with almost surgical precision, and the energetic hum finally died away as the smoking, ruined end of the baton clattered to the casino floor.

Robbed of his defence against Erinyes’ lightsabers, Rajhin snarled and swung the remains of the Weequay’s arm like a meaty club, relying on his grip on the Zeltron’s arm to prevent her from simply dodging his attack. Predictably, the Adept raised her off-hand saber to parry the blow, slicing another portion of the severed limb away—but the lightsaber’s unparalleled cutting ability meant that, although Rajhin’s weapon was now too short to reach Erinyes, the Togorian’s movement didn’t actually stop as it passed the Adept’s blade. Rajhin dropped the Weequay’s arm and snapped his now-empty hand forward, claws extended.

When the Force whispered its warning into Erinyes’ mind, her first instinct was to snap her lightsaber downward and cleave the Togorian in half—but she didn’t want to risk him yanking her injured arm into the path of the blow. Instead, Erinyes backpedalled as far as Rajhin’s grip would allow and hit her lightsaber’s activation stud. The blade disappeared with a whoosh, and Erinyes gritted her teeth against another yelp of pain as Rajhin’s claws sliced through one of her dress’ shoulder straps and cut a quartet of lines across her collarbone. Then, another high-frequency whine rang through the air: not the riot baton this time, but a shrill tone that resembled the report of a blaster. A pair of shots from Erinyes’ “lightsaber pistol” slammed into Rajhin’s gut, and the Togorian released the Adept’s arm as he yowled in pain and dropped to one knee, clutching his fresh wounds.

“I told you this wouldn’t end the way you thought it would.” Erinyes tapped her off-hand saber’s activation stud again, and a typical energy blade sprang into being. “Normally I’d offer to spare your life in exchange for a promise not to come after me again, but you don’t seem like the type who would honour it, so… better luck in your next life.” Not wanting to linger long enough for more guards to arrive, Erinyes whipped the blade downward to take the Togorian’s head off his shoulders.

Before the lightsaber could reach its target, there was a flash, then a crackle, and finally another whining thump as the weapon bounced off a glowing field of energy. Erinyes’ jaw dropped when she saw a stream of Force lightning leap from one of Rajhin’s hands to her lightsaber, then loop back around to the intact prongs of the baton—a weapon designed to harness those sorts of energies—that he’d snatched off the ground during her impromptu speech.

“Kriff me…” The Adept backed away from her opponent, shaking her head in disbelief. “You know, I’m not even mad. That was amazing.” Mad or not, Erinyes was getting concerned at how she struggled to catch her breath and how her limbs were burning with fatigue, not to mention the wounds to her arm and chest or the blunt impacts from being thrown around earlier in the fight.

Something like surprise flickered across Rajhin’s features, either at the success of his desperate tactic or Erinyes’ willingness to compliment him for it, but the expression quickly turned into a sneering grimace. The Togorian’s focus seemed to diminish for a moment, and Erinyes sensed a current move through the Force as the remnants of the baton tumbled from his grip. With a last, desperate burst of speed and a ferocious roar, Rajhin sprang forward, claws and fangs bared to pounce on Erinyes the same way his earliest ancestors had overrun their prey.

Equally desperate, Erinyes re-engaged her Marauder’s trance and launched herself into the air; if she’d merely sidestepped the attack, it would’ve been too easy for Rajhin to swipe at her as he passed. With a far less impressive roar of her own, Erinyes twisted in mid-air and slashed downwards as the Togorian passed beneath her. Carried by his own momentum, Rajhin belly-flopped to the casino floor, his head continuing to roll even after his body skidded to a halt.

The Adept’s landing wasn’t much more graceful than her opponent’s had been; her legs buckled as soon as they had to support her weight again, promptly dropping her flat on her back. It took several seconds of unreasonably intense concentration before Erinyes was able to banish enough of her pain and fatigue to stand up and retrieve the lightsaber she’d dropped… just in time to hear thundering footsteps as more cantina guards approached. Suddenly, defeating Rajhin didn’t seem like much of a victory.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 27 October, 2019 11:56 PM UTC

Positive Takeaways


Creative workarounds to deal with the weapons issue of lightsaber versus no lightsaber.

Can Be Improved


While creative, dedicating several paragraphs to combat between Seraine and the security guards slowed things down, as well as the issues of calling their various weapons/shields different things throughout. A stun baton and a riot baton are two very different items in our possessions (stun isn't lightsaber resistant, for example).

I had a clarity issue, which figured into your story score, in the scene where Rajhin apparently reactiviates the broken baton with creative use of Lightning. With the way it was all written, it felt out of order, as the explanation appeared AFTER the saber blow that would have removed his head was stopped 'in a bright flash of energy', suggesting heavily that it was Barrier.

The other major point here (and which ultimately pulled you back down to a +3 Story), was the gutshots to Rajhin. While the lightsaber pistol does say 'loses power over a distance', Erinye's was in the talon-grips of Rajhin, those shots were point blank. After conferring with Arch, we both came to the agreement that this was a deathblow and should have ended the combat there.

The soft hum of Erinyes’ lightsaber was soon joined by the riot batons held by two of the three guards. For a moment, everyone froze. Rajhin continued to play the victim and act scared as best he could, while the blade-wielding Zelton kept her eyes moving from the security personnel to the Togorian.

Damn him, the Taldyran thought as she debated her next course of action. She certainly did not want to be arrested, especially when an avowed assassin lurked nearby no doubt waiting for her to turn her back or be disarmed. He was the real danger, but Erinyes also could not ignore the security personnel. She couldn’t lower her saber, lest Rajhin seize the moment and attack again. The Zeltron had little option but to deal with the newcomers.

I have to keep the Togorian in my sights.

The Zeltron twirled her saber with an expert flourish as if to say, “you don’t want any of this.” The guards took the message as they slowed their advance but kept their weapons at the ready. Two of the Weequay had riot batons, and a third had a riot shield that appeared to be merely betaplast, similar to the type used by the First Order. Erinyes grinned, the riot batons could deflect a saber but the shield would not.

Erinyes caught Rajhin creeping toward the exit out of the corner of her eye, apparently so did one of the baton-wielding security staff.

“You there! Halt!”

Rajhin kept up the ruse, “she’s trying to kill me!” and started to run toward the elevator lobby.

The guard kept up the pursuit, “you’re under arrest!”

Erinyes didn’t have time to deal with the other two guards. On the one hand, Rajhin appeared to be fleeing the scene. On the other, he was just as likely to try to ambush her as the only exit to the club lead to the elevator lobby. She reached out through the currents of the Force to take hold of the baton-wielding guard’s mind.

“I am not a threat,” she punctuated the sentence with the calculated risk of deactivating her lightsaber.

“She is not a threat,” the guard repeated in a distant tone of voice as if he were just waking up from a dream.

The Zeltron subtly waved her free hand at the other guard, likewise reaching across the ether to touch his mind. “The Togorian is the real threat.”

“The Togorian is the real threat,” the Weequay duly repeated.

Both security personnel turned and moved toward the lobby in a deliberate pace.


Erinyes entered the elevator lobby slowly, the golden chamber was oddly deserted. She could sense the telltale presence of another Force user in the room. The lighting in the room was decoratively dim so she couldn’t see precisely where he was, but she knew Rajhin was lurking somewhere nearby. There was no sign of the guards, they had likely gone to the stairwell to search for him.

The Taldyran continued to walk toward the elevator, trying not to give away she knew what was going on. Erinyes caught a translucent shimmer in the corner of her eye and willed herself to keep moving and place her back to the phantom.

A warning screamed through the Force and the elder stepped to the side, igniting her saber and caught Rajhin attempting to jump on her back. With near-supernatural skill she slashed her saber as the giant Togorian passed, lacerating him across the back.

Erinyes walked up to her vanquished foe, breathing in pain on the floor.

“Forget the bounty if you know what’s good for you.”

General Stres'tron'garmis, 26 October, 2019 10:02 PM UTC

Positive Takeaways


You resolved the security guards situation pretty well, and the Mind Trick bit was nice.

Can Be Improved


This post lacked energy, either you didn't have time to expand or just weren't feeling it. It was rather anticlimactic, but well written mechanically.