Two towering, tinted, transparisteel doors slide open to grant you access to the central chamber of the Combat Training Halls. The main room is wide and open and as large as as a holoball field. Tall walls stretch towards a domed ceiling that is made up of rows of ambient lights that spread out and fill the room with soft even lighting that eliminates any shades or shadows. Those same walls are lined around the perimeter with racks and stacks of varied weaponry: everything from swords and polearms to rifles and flamethrowers.
There are two signs that hover over each weapon rack to create an alternating motif in the Combat Training Hall: “No Explosions” and “Accorded Neutral Territory”. While the first is fairly obvious, the second speaks to the single law of the Training Halls: all members of the Brotherhood are welcome, and no member is to be killed or maimed without incurring the wrath of the Grand Master and the Inquisitorius.
A trio of training dummies are statically set up and spread out in a line, each made out of a blend of alloys and padding that can withstand blows from any standard weaponry with the exception of lightsaber blades. To the side of the dummies, a large sparring mat has been stretched out to create a larger footprint than the typical shockboxing ring. The padding is good for helping teach new combat students how to take a fall without injury and offers firm footing, but the hard rubber mat is hardly forgiving.
Behind the sparring area is a door that leads to a small archives that combat students can use to view holorecordings of fights and duels from the past as well as relevant information on combat tactics, techniques, and forms. On the opposite side of the archives at the far end of central room is the locker room that members can safely store their equipment.
The final and probably most important element of the Combat Training Hall is the onsite Med Ward. The maglock door is sealed off and can only be opened by an attending Medic. The Medical facilities feature state of the art bacta tanks for recovery and aftercare. A combination of observation and waiting room rests adjacent to the recovery center and features two large monitors that display a live feed of the central room.
The Combat Halls are staffed around the clock, allowing combat students and mentors alike to come and go as they please at odd or regular hours. It also available for members looking to prove their worth to compete in the Antei Combat Center.
[Venue Note: Weapons incorporated into your match are allowed to be used, even if not listed on your Loadout for the match itself. Skill usage and all other ACC rules and guidelines still applies.]
What Went Well
I like what you did with the story in this post. Using Jo and Raiju’s shared Mandalorian background gave a solidly believable reason for the fight to happen, especially when you include Jo’s Aspects about both trying to restore his Clan’s honour through combat and his unwillingness to back down from a challenge. I also like that you didn’t dally too long before getting into the combat, and that when the action started, the pace was quick enough to keep the reader interested.
Room for Growth
There were syntax errors scattered throughout the post that made hard to read in places (mainly run-on sentences and punctuation issues in dialogue), and there were a few realism hiccups. The way you described Raiju completely locking down Jo’s motion reminded me of Kylo doing the same thing to Rey in TFA, which would fall under Slow (specifically, the Stasis Feat). Raiju’s +1 in Slow combined with the lack of that Feat doesn’t really justify him being able to freeze Jo that effectively. Second, the jetpack collision is in a weird middle ground. Jo’s Pilot (S) skill is high enough that I don’t think he would’ve actually hit the wall, but if he did, he’d probably have been hurt worse than just being “rattled”. Third, you mentioned that “it was a fool’s folly” for Raiju to try to deflect Jo’s shots, but you never really explained why. Under normal circumstances, Raiju’s skills are high enough that he wouldn’t have much trouble blocking shots, and Jo’s skilled enough with a slugthrower that he isn’t likely to miss.
Suggestions
Having someone proofread your posts before submitting them is not only allowed, but encouraged. A good proofreader would’ve caught most or all of the syntax errors in this post. On the realism side, make sure to double-check that the opponent’s skills can justify what you’re writing them doing, and don’t be afraid to add more details about exactly how an action plays out. The reasoning might be obvious to you as a writer, but it isn’t always as clear to the reader, so it never hurts to spell things out.