With the recent discovery of Ahch-To's location, it wasn't uncommon to see members of the Brotherhood investigating the planet. Occasionally, the Grand Master's Royal Guard would dispatch an agent to ensure that there wasn't an enclave of Jedi being formed there. Clan Odan-Urr was already under the Brotherhood's thumb, but if another Jedi Order rose to prominence in the galactic stage, they risked Odan-Urr defecting and causing a major conflict. As such, ensuring the Jedi remained scattered and weak was important. A few days ago, Warlord Quejo Xyler had arrived on Ahch-To at the behest of the Grand Master's Royal Guard and had been scouring the planet's various archipelagos for any sign of the Jedi. His investigation was nearly at an end, having borne little fruit.
The human now stood at the peak of a small mountain, scowling down at the small village of natives that sat on the cliff's edge at the foot of the mountain. He had avoided interacting with the creatures for the entire mission; thankfully, his ability in the Force was potent enough for him to gather information on them from a distance.
Quejo's attention was drawn to the sky as a small fighter approached the island. An ARC-170, painted in gaudy gold and purple, set down at the far-side of the island, the only flat area nearby. Reaching out with the Force, Quejo was able to identify the individual that was leaving the speeder, a Chiss, as a Force-sensitive. However, the new arrival didn't seem to be a Jedi, as their connection with the Force seemed steeped in the Dark Side. Settling into a stony grimace, Quejo quickly descended the mountain, intending to intercept the Chiss before he reached the village.
Knight Khryso Mallus had come across reports of Ahch-To while perusing the Shadow Academy archives. While he had no formal mission to investigate the planet, the Chiss had decided to visit the place himself when he had some free time. It definitely seemed like the type of place that could house ancient artifacts of power, and Jedi artifacts in particular were something missing from his collection. However, as he neared the village he'd spotted from the sky, Khryso noticed a figure approaching from the island's sole mountain. He paused, recognizing the man's armor as the armor worn by the elites of the Grand Master's Royal Guard. This should make them allies, but nonetheless, Khryso was wary, his hand moving to hover over the lightsaber at his side.
"Can I help you with something, Sir Guardsman?" Khryso inquired, raising his voice so it could be heard across the distance between them and the ambient noise of the island.
"Your presence here is distracting," Quejo said, crossing his arms as he approached, fixing the full power of his gaze on Khryso. "I'm in the middle of an assignment. I don't require your interference."
Khryso frowned. "I didn't see any cordon on this planet's files."
"I'm the cordon," Quejo said, finally coming within a few meters of Khryso. "Now frack off."
Khryso's eyes narrowed. Both individuals were already sizing each other up as the stand off grew even more tense with silence. Khryso began to form a hypothesis, assuming that the adamant human's demands to leave must be because something important was here. If that were the case, the Chiss couldn't just leave. "I think I'll take a look around first." Khryso said, placing his hand on his lightsaber hilt, hoping to make the human back down.
Quejo only sneered as his own lightsaber appeared in his hand, igniting. "You deaf or something, blue?"
Khryso paused for a moment before igniting his own lightsaber. He'd never fought someone so high-ranking in the Brotherhood before. This could prove a valuable chance to test his skills. If things got ugly, he could always make a break for it. From what he'd seen so far, this human didn't seem highly mobile. Khryso began to move forward, feinting a clumsy charging strike before falling back into a measured defensive stance with his blade in a high guard. He'd been hoping to bait the man into a counter-attack, but the human had seen through the feint. Quejo stepped forward as well, throwing his blade into a quick flourish before settling into a mid-guard position with his lightsaber pointed directly at Khryso. "You're out of your league." Quejo said, keeping his scowling visage fixed on Khryso. With that, he thrust forward, forcing Khryso to respond with a quick parry. The thrust quickly transitioned into three fast slashes, hitting a low-right, mid-left, low-right pattern. Khryso deflected all three attacks, but was forced to give ground as Quejo continued to advance.
Positive Takeaways
You’ve done a wonderful job setting the scene. You touch just enough on some of the planet lore to add flavour, while applying lightly some of the physical appearance of the environment they find themselves in and their interactions (namely of Quejo in this case) with that environment. You give a purpose for how and why they came to be on Ahch-To (and it is not just to lay the beat down on each other.)
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Things To Think About
You were admittedly light on the combat side of things, though understandably so. On the plus, there was combat and it did fit well with the flow of your writing that it did not feel like an afterthought. There could have been more of it is all.