Battlemaster Alaisy Tir’eivra vs. Savant Sera Kaern

Battlemaster Alaisy Tir’eivra

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Female Human, Sith, Arcanist
vs.

Savant Sera Kaern

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Female Zabrak, Force Disciple, Marauder, Sentinel
Comment

First of all, let me say thank you for competing and completing in the SARLACC!

This match was a fun read, and you two managed to convey a surprising amount of story with limited options for verbal communication.

I honestly don’t have a lot to say here, you both had very solid technique.

Sera you had some issues with lost words in one post and misspellings (toussels? Laboratory is one SO MANY people have misspelled in this event for some reason). Also, Sith and Jedi are proper nouns because Star Wars is weird, always cap this, always cap Force when referring in some manner to ‘the Force’.

Alaisy, you had a few ‘English as a second language’ issues here and there (rosters rather than rafters, etc) but overall your formatting was solid. My only gripe was, story-wise, you lacked much action and the first post was pretty spotty on pacing. Stopping to explain underwater symbols could have been glossed over to keep things moving, probably, for example.

Both of you did an excellent job with combat and aside from Sera’s TK while using Battle Meditation and swimming ‘fast’, realism wise you were both pretty in the clear.

Aaaand even though this is cooperative, we still have to have a winner. So, with a score of 4.45 to a staggeringly close 4.25, Alaisy Tir'eivra is the victor!

Keep writing, both of you!

Hall SARLACC [2021]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Battlemaster Alaisy Tir’eivra, Savant Sera Kaern
Winner Battlemaster Alaisy Tir’eivra
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Battlemaster Alaisy Tir’eivra's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Savant Sera Kaern's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue [Scenario] SARLACC 2021, Round 1: Breached Hot Labs
Last Post 31 January, 2021 6:32 PM UTC
Assigned Judge General Stres'tron'garmis
Syntax - 15%
Blade Mistress Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra Sera Kaern
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: Minor errors in the first post, almost nothing in the second. Rationale: A few errors in your first post, including a half-sentence, some misspellings (toussels?) in your ending post.
Story - 40%
Blade Mistress Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra Sera Kaern
Score: 4 Score: 4 (Advantage)
Rationale: Creative, descriptive, your first post lacked action, your second did not. Rationale: A lot of action, plot progression, and a clear ending!
Realism - 25%
Blade Mistress Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra Sera Kaern
Score: 5 Score: 4
Rationale: No issues found! Rationale: Some issues in your ending post.
Continuity - 20%
Blade Mistress Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra Sera Kaern
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues found! Rationale: No issues found!
Blade Mistress Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra's Score: 4.45 Sera Kaern's Score: 4.25
Posts

header

The Fourteenth Great Jedi War left deep wounds across the surface of Arx. One such victim, unnoticed by the Brotherhood at large, was the Corrino Research Laboratory on the marshy continent of Uskil. The Collective had assaulted the Shadow Academy's Nesolat platform to gain access to the surface of Arx, its strategic importance dwarfing its role as an isolated research facility. When the battle moved to the planet's surface, the Nesolat was discarded like so much chaff, and debris from the disintegrating station was scattered across the planet.

Some of that debris struck the specimen habitat, damaging them enough for the specimens contained within to escape into Uskil’s swampy wilderness. In the aftermath of the invasion, playing animal control was a low priority for the Iron Throne, but the beasts became more of a nuisance—and even a danger—as time went on. Their exposure to the maelstrom of Force energies around Uskil, stirred up by the Grand Master’s ritual during the invasion, has made the creatures aggressive and unpredictable.

Rather than wandering Uskil’s swampy, storm-soaked wildlands, many of the escaped beasts have since returned to their ruined habitats, finding the climate more to their liking; it was designed for them, after all. They’ve since become extremely territorial, attacking any Shadow Academy staff who try to remove them so the habitats can be rebuilt. Rather than continue to delay the Academy’s research and sacrifice hapless construction workers and lab technicians, the Headmistress has put out a call to any members of the Brotherhood who are willing to help with the problem.

Your goal in this scenario is to subdue and capture the hostile creature so that it can be transported to a different facility for further testing. As the creature has been modified by the Academy’s scientists, the Headmistress would strongly prefer that you capture it alive, rather than killing it and forcing the researchers to make do with data from a dead specimen.

Croaking amphibians. Chirping, buzzing insects. The sound of light rain created a clear image of their wet surroundings. A speeder zoomed away behind the duo of Arconans. They were at the edge of the Uskil swamps, which really was just a lot of sludge, water, bugs and slimy creatures. Ahead of them were broken down fences, walls, and watchtowers that should’ve kept alien wildlife at bay.

Further, beyond the collapsed defenses, they could see massive domes, some more intact than others. These honeycomb patterned hemispheres must have once kept the different habitats separated. The one nearest to them seemed to be the largest, its panels shattered in so many places probably by a combination of beasts and fallen Nesolat debris.

Who better to join in for a wild hunt than the idealistic and remarkably reliable Sera Kaern? Alaisy Tir’eivra had taken her on a mission with promises of adventure, and a much needed distraction from Arconan life. Life had been complicated as of late, heavy laden with emotions of sadness and worry. The Zabrak’s dual hearts yearned for the Iridonian tribal life, windy canyons and the planet’s untamed, brutal lands.

Acceptance of the tall, proud Sith’s offer came easy, even if the symbiote clad woman seemed dangerous and untrustworthy even at the best of times. It gave the youthful Marauder some reassurance, however, that it was the Headmistress of the Shadow Academy that really sent them out there.

Heavy platforms splashed and sloshed through the muddy water. They were so tall that it kept the latex-clad woman’s feet above water, yet still appropriately sized for her ridiculous body length. Sera followed behind her, eager to take the path that the Sith created through the reeds. Occasionally, the armored Zabraki woman would hop from one tiny dry island to another, her tribal cloak dancing with her. Tir’eivra merely stomped through with her heeled boots, her own hooded mantle gliding through the wetland with a war-like plume of dark, straight hair sticking out.

Every speck of dirt slid right off of the shiny symbiotic-latex. Her suit was completely sealed, without any seams—an alchemical layer of rubbery skin that could also sense its surroundings, or feel pain, sensitive even to a gust of wind. The cold bog-water, bumping of swampland critters and brushing grasses, did not bother the tall Sith. The added awareness that they provided was very welcome in her book.

The ground seemed drier as they made their way towards the greenhouse domes, reeds and mosses replaced by green grasses. Arx Primus broke through the clouds and reflected upon the transparisteel panels. Dense overgrowth clung to the metal rosters supporting the translucent dome panels. A small structure stood out at the entrance—which would be restricted under normal circumstances—and with so many holes filling the giant hemisphere, there was really no more gateway.

With a powerful round-house kick, Kaern broke down what remained of a rusty door with weakened hinges and very deep-set claw marks. Inside the post, they found several research terminals made apparent by the bubbling flask and chemical symbols plastered on the sealed containers next to them. The tall black-clad woman had to duck to avoid hitting the doorpost, but once inside she picked the flasks up, shaking them one by one to check them for their contents. Sera noticed a dried up, weathered corpse in the corner of the room. Empty stims and bags of food lay next to the unfortunate deceased victim.

“Gruesome, I guess there’s something out there that is worse than death from starvation, or injuries?” Sera pressed a button, sliding open the blinds. Bright-sapphire eyes darted over the area, which mostly encompassed a large lake in the middle of the circular habitat. The surface shimmered peacefully under the bright sunlight with the occasional gust of wind creating ripples in the water and shaking the needle-covered branches of pine trees.

“Interesting, this console still functions, if I can access one of these logs-,” vibroclawed, latex-covered fingers tapped away at the panel. Most of the files were secured with complicated passwords, and neither of them were slicing experts, so the Sith picked out the only unprotected one that was placed on the guest account by accident.

“Here is one, listen up,” Alaisy’s argent eyes widened behind her domed visor, reflecting much of the light emitted by the monitor. She read the report out loud with a sultry, well-articulated Imperial voice.

”Research log #88405: The gladiatorial predators have been given an aquatic environment. The artificial lake should have a sustainable food source consisting of various fish and plant-life. We hope that this will acclimatize them to arena-styled sports taking place on watery planets. One of my colleagues expressed concern over underground instability near one of the cave systems. We have since ordered a duracrete reinforcement package. This should keep the habitat separated.”

“Uhh, Alaisy, there’s something coming out of the water over there!” the Zabrak pointed towards the body of water.

The Sith straightened her back as she snaked up from her hunched-over stance. She inclined her masked head at Sera, before turning her sight towards the beast.

“That is most certainly an Acklay,” she could tell by the six claws, and its elongated head.

“Is it me, or is it rather small? And what is that thing on its backside?” Tir’eivra pointed out the flattened, rudder-like tail.

“It must be a fledgling, but that tail is something I’ve never seen before. Who knows what’s in that lake?” The Zabrak said with excitement in her voice. She had seen plenty of these crustaceans before—they were used in executions, or arenas, and high-stakes betting matches—but it wasn’t green like usual either. When looking through her macrobinoculars, she noticed this one had black dots covering its carapace, with the rest of its shell glistening in purplish-blue.

Click, clack, click, clack.

The almost two-and-a-half meters tall woman gave no hesitation and decided to check it out in-person.

“I think a careful approach-,” Sera thought Tir’eivra was still in the room with her until she saw her running straight towards the Acklay, blocking her view outside, “kriff, so much for a hunter’s approach,” she muttered as she double-checked her equipment, placed her macrobinoculars back, and ran after the Sith. She was packing a lot of gear with pointy ends, including her Kithani, which was strapped to her left thigh. The Zabrakian huntress was ready to compensate for Alaisy’s lack of subtlety.

The loud tapping of heels continued over the cracked duracrete, until it dulled out over lake-side forest soil. The amethyst-blue Acklay seemed calm, basking in the warmth of the sun. It seemed to be eating a fish, at least until it turned its head towards the giant woman. The creature rose on all six of its thin, claw-like legs. As the Sith stormed towards it, the Acklay felt intimidated, backpedaling with small steps, keeping its limbs close together, all arced backwards, and its elongated teeth-filled head retreating inwards. “Alaisy!! Hold on, you’re scaring the damned predator!” Sera even felt silly saying that, knowing just how ferocious those precious arena-beasts could be.

The Battlemaster stopped in her tracks and turned towards the sprinting, shouting Savant. The moment she turned, the Acklay picked its fish up and retreated back into the lake. It launched its head underwater, body pulling with it and creating a wide splash. The last thing both Arcona’s saw was the flat tail propelling it further into the depths.

“Well, that was that, it's gone! Why’d you go after it like that?” The Zabrak raised her shoulders, and then pointed at the lake with an open palm in exasperation.

“You saw it! It was petrified, that, was the point!” The Sith knew she made the mistake of turning her head towards Kaern, but she would never admit it. Still, anger burned within her veins. They were going to go after it, or them.

“Look, we can set a trap, lure it out, captu-,”

“No!” the Sith interjected. “We are going to pursue it. Can you hold your breath?” Alaisy walked up to the edge of the lake and touched the water with the tip of her boot. Even her footwear was layered by her symbiote, save for the knife-heel and sole. The water felt strangely warm, almost as warm as the greenhouse dome. Visibility was good, only broken fences and fallen leaves littering the edges.

Sera frowned in confusion, both because of the tall woman’s odd hunting method, but also because of her determination. The damned Sith was just, so, proud, and intense all the time. For a moment she felt frustrated having her own on-the-spot plan ignored like that. She was stubborn, and her will was not easily bent. But that kriffing woman had such a unique view on life that she admired her in a way. Tir’eivra was dark, ruthless, but somehow also strangely reliable, full of pure unadulterated hatred and effective like a deadly weapon. Sera’s intuition knew that there was mutual respect between the warrior and witch.

“Yes, I’ve done my share of free-diving before, and I can hold my breath,” somehow Sera suspected that Alaisy already knew the answer, as if she played with her pride and honor. The tribal huntress couldn’t hold back a smile. If anything the Zabrak was made for this, knives were effective underwater, she was athletic and the Force would make her effective even on the move, helping her hold her breath. This wouldn’t be the first time.

“Excellent, we will not be able to communicate by voice, so let me demonstrate some gestures and let me know if we have an understanding,” Alaisy took her hooded cloak off and stretched her long slender body.

She made her first hand signal by joining her thumb and index finger to form a loop, extending the other fingers.

The next two gestures were a thumbs-up, and a thumbs-down. She then made a fist with her palm-side facing outward, followed by using all five of her fingers to point to the right. Finally, she flattened her hand, palm aimed upwards, and bent her fingertips upward towards herself.

Alaisy finalized the set of gestures with one last one—it involved her hand moving flat across her throat in a slicing movement. For obvious reasons, this was by far her favorite.

“Ohh, yeah they make sense. Let me know if we’re on the same page, Alaisy. In the same order, here’s what I think they mean: the first means ‘everything is alright’, followed by ‘going up and down’, the next one tells me to slow down, then ‘hold’, the next one means ‘stop’, the following one meant to point out which direction to go in, the next one means ‘get over here!’ and the final one means you’re out of air,” Sera scratched her head, unsure if she understood them all.

“Great, we are on the same page. Drop whatever slows you down and let us see what awaits us there,” Alaisy said with a modulated voice while she checked if the tubes on her mask were properly secured before swapping to her air supply. Now, every breath she made not only hissed when she breathed in, but also when she exhaled.

Sera hung her tribal cloak on one of the pine tree branches, placing her helmet and armor plating at the base of the tree. Once she stepped inside the water, she too felt surprised by just how warm it was. The Zabrak closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, stopping until she had about half of her lungs filled with air. She tapped into the Force, willing it, asking it to hold onto her oxygen for as long as possible. Her tight, muscled, and compact body relaxed. Then she inclined her head at the Sith, raising her hand and forming a loop between her thumb and index finger.

Alaisy nodded at Kaern in return, a smile forming in her eyes, while her lips were hidden behind her mask’s nose cup. Then they both descended into the blue.

The water pressed against her ears. Her own breathing and the pressurized air she exhaled became the only thing Alaisy heard now. Sera’s experience underwater, in turn, showed as her movements were fluid and efficient, moving in long strokes with minimal effort. The Zabrak kept her bright-cerulean eyes open just fine, despite the lack of visor. The symbiotic-clad woman mostly relaxed her arms and steered with her body, while her legs propelled her forward even with the lack of fins.

The first school of fish showed up already only several meters down. Algae, shellfish, seaweeds and crustaceans became visible deeper, on the bottom of the mysterious lake.

Both Sera and Alaisy suddenly felt drawn by an aura full of darkness. The Sith pointed to the north-west with all of her fingers stretched out, and the Zabrak replied with her hand forming a loop, all fingers except for the index finger and thumb stretched out.

A wall of rock awaited them. Suddenly the teeming flora and fauna had disappeared, save for the few algae and emptied clams. There was a deep crack in the stone wall where bubbles were seeping out. It got wider and wider closer to the bottom of the lake. Neither the black-clad, nor the horned woman could resist venturing through it.

At first it was murky, and a feeling of doubt arose in the duo. But it became brighter further on as a deep crimson glow guided them. They had just passed from the small sustainable lake into the cave system that the research log had warned the scientists about. Rubble from a spaceship littered the sandy floor, and it looked like someone or something had been hoarding research equipment.

Then they saw their first glimpse of life. Argent eyes with on-fleek dramatic liner widened as a large obelisk appeared. Bright-blue met her gaze as they paused, hanging still in the under-dark. The dark side of the Force made swimming through this last part feel like swimming through mud. Something did not want them here. Both of the women’s eyes darted around towards small crustaceans jumping around. On closer inspection they looked like very tiny versions of the purple Acklay they tried to hunt earlier.

The Zabrak stuck out a hand towards one. She pulled it away just as quickly. It tried to bite her. The worry almost distracted her from maintaining her oxygen consumption. Alaisy saw it too and followed it carefully until the Sith herself lashed out with her vibro-claw. It pierced the large-mouthed fledgling and impaled it onto her blades.

The tribal warrior woman peered at the blood released from the creature, it caused her to heart sink. She gestured behind her with all of her fingers stretched. Alaisy took the small Acklay off and wedged it between her belt. I will be needing this for research.

Ideally, she would have studied the monolith too, but…

A whole troop of tiny Acklays bursted out of every crevice the cave-tunnel had to offer. They circled around the radiating, runed obelisk.

Time to karking **GO!

Sera repeated the same gesture in rapid succession, and the Sith followed her for the first time.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 12 February, 2021 11:42 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways


You had a lot of ambiances here, from the initial approach and into the depths, a lot of imagery going on. Your interactions between the ladies were interesting to read, and you definitely pushed a ‘mutual respect’ narrative.

Can Be Improved


Some of your wording choices were a bit off (rosters vs rafters holding up the roof) that are just the inevitable by-product of writing in a non-native tongue. That said, your syntax was impressive for a post this long, like...a few commas that were unnecessary and that was it.

And while not a big deal, I feel it was noteworthy and amusing to point out ‘how precious the creature’ was probably meant to be precocious? Or vicious, but it was also coming from Sera and who knows, maybe she thinks acklay are precious little bugs.

For such a lengthy post (about 1k over the average for even the usual ‘long’ posts in this format) you had next to no actual conflict or action, which did keep your score from going up much, though this was offset somewhat by your ambient set up.

The swarm was almost...mesmerizing in the way that it moved. Each of the tiny acklay fledglings moved perfectly in sync with its brethren, forming a unified cloud of razor-clawed nymphs. Tiny, webbed tailes helped propel the insects through the water, a violet cloud that swirled around the glowing obelisk, growing steadily larger as more and more of them heeded the call and joined their kin. As more emerged, the obelisk seemed to pulse chaotically, its pace rising in tandem with the rhythm of a hostile screech, echoing through the water. Sera could feel something within it. An energy that at once primal, dark, deeply strange...but familiar. Very similar, really, to the aura that she felt from Alaisy.

Or, more specifically, Alaisy’s suit.

If Sera had any air in her lungs to curse with, that was when she would have used it. Unfortunately, opening her mouth at all right now would have been a rather poor idea. The Force kept her going without any air, but filling her lungs with water would have put a quick end to that. Beyond that thought, she was more likely than not bound to accidentally swallow one of the acklay nymphs as the swarm whirled towards them.

The duo enacted a hasty, scrambling retreat...or, as much of one as they could muster. Both of them were able swimmers, but they had dived into the proverbial acklay’s nest, and the nymphs were far faster than they were, nipping at their heels. A pair of tiny claws slashed up Sera’s calf, immediately followed by a cut that sliced down Alaisy’s thigh as some of the more aggressive fledglings found that latex and underarmor were only slightly more protective than the skin underneath. More swirled from the

Sera ground her teeth, snatching an acklay that had latched to her hip and breaking it in one hand. This wasn’t working. They were hunting all wrong. Just as Alaisy had said when she chased their initial prey into the water, they should be the ones striking out, not the ones being pursued. The Zabrak narrowed her eyes, and paused in her swim, mind reaching out to Alaisy’s.

We need to stand. We need to fight.

Alaisy whirled, the loose locks of her ponytail hanging in a midnight-dark shroud around her head. Her silvery eyes met Sera’s, wide behind the mask shrouding her face. It was difficult to read her at all through the mask. The swarm began closing in on them, the watery screech growing louder.

The sith brought one hand to her throat, chromium knuckles glimmering with the faint blue light cast by the obelisk. She slid it to the side, the same “cut-throat” gesture that she had displayed earlier. Then, she gave a single thumbs up.

Their sabers exploded to life in an instant, three glowing blades casting a burst of gold and bloody crimson light throughout the submerged cavern, glittering off of the exoskeletons of the acklay swarm swirling towards them. Sera and Alaisy moved back to back, feet planted in the silt-covered terrain beneath them, lightsabers holding the seething brood at bay.

Really, the Chromium Spine did most of the work. Sera’s form, her movements and training, were hampered by the weight of the water. One could not effectively kick or punch a damned thing when their fist was burdened by water resistance. Moreover, Ataru’s fluid movements were drastically slowed as well. Alaisy, on the other hand...well. Even if she couldn’t see it, Sera could feel the smile spread across her face, the compelling force of her darkness seeming to feed upon the moment. Her saberstaff’s dual blades boiled through water and nymph alike, whirling in a solid sheet of flaming crimson. The attacks were animalistic, primal. Each slash of gold or red that parted through the swarm of nymphs scattered them, breaking the offensive, leaving a handful of scorched fledglings drifting to the cavern floor. A few broke through, of course, blood beginning to cloud the water from the tiny cuts that each of them accrued. At least Alaisy’s suit healed, slices pulling closed over chalk-white flesh, slowing the speed at which she bled. Sera had no such assurance. She was really going to need a new undersuit when this was done.

It was a dance. A deadly one. Sera covered Alaisy, and Alaisy covered Sera, the bubbling corpses of Acklay nymphs swirling around their feet. The Zabrak’s eyes narrowed as she plucked an acklay from Alaisy’s hip, winching as it bit into her finger before she tossed it in front of her saber emitter. Underneath the thrill of the battle in her hearts, the predatory song of Alaisy’s soul as she sowed destruction, underneath the unthinking fury of the nymphs as they swarmed them, outsiders, she could feel something. A call. Coming from the Obelisk. So similar to Alaisy’s suit...it must have been Alchemy, of one type or another. She had no idea, really, that sort of thing was totally beyond her capabilities. Still, it was a thought, a path forward. If they were going to succeed in this hunt, they would need to find where they had come from. Find where they had come from.

Bright blue eyes glanced back towards the monolith. Perfectly straight, cut from dark grey rock, it stretched from the floor of the cavern all the way up to the ceiling, indigo runes glowing in the dark water. If the research log that they had found earlier was any indication, this was a natural cavern that the acklay had managed to breach. It could extend far beyond what they were able to see. There must have been another crack, a breach, a path…-

Sera blinked. Then, she looked upwards once again. To where the light of their sabers, the glow of the Obelisk...reflected off of the surface of the water. There was air above. An opening.

She backed up against Alaisy, wincing as another nymph slashed across her abdomen. Butting up against the Sith, she reached out with her mind once more, clinging desperately to her hold on the Force.

We need to go up!

Alaisy turned, casting a short glance backwards. At the Zabrak’s frantic motion, she locked up, towards the water’s glittering surface, maybe a hundred feet above them. Sera could practically feel her disappointment at leaving the slaughter behind...but, it was short lived.

Above, something plunged into the water. An amethyst hued acklay sliced through the deep, fanged maw opening wide as it joined in the screeching song of its brethren. It was just about identical to the one that they had sighted earlier, maybe two meters long and tall. Not quite full grown. The two of them should have been able to handle it quite well.

Then, something else splashed into the water behind it. Something much, much larger.

It looked like the youngin’ had run to its mother...

General Stres'tron'garmis, 12 February, 2021 11:42 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways


Action! Combat! Easy to follow! Well done! This was fun, if a bit terrifying for those of us with experience in nearly drowning. I’m glad you addressed Sera’s under armor, I wasn’t certain from Alaisy’s post just how much Sera had shed before jumping into the water.

Can Be Improved


More swirled from the
I'm almost certain I don't need to tell you what you did here, but you should 'speak' to your proofer about missing it.

All this action and combat is pushing the believability of Sera’s ability to hold her breath, even with Control Self, getting awfully close to a detractor. Also, Jedi and Sith are titles, they get capitalised always always.

The Sith unclipped a thermal detonator from her high waist-belt. She stuck her thumb up with the same hand, indicating that they would swim up and then she’d drop the explosive down to stall the swarm of juvenile Acklay. No matter how much the Arcanist wanted to study the mysterious pillar, they didn’t really have much of a choice.

Sera pushed herself off the sediment-covered cave floor and swam up in an arc towards the reflections of light. Blood trailed behind her from the cuts she had sustained, sparking a frenzy among the immature crustaceans.

The tall woman activated the detonator and let the grenade sink down. Alaisy funneled pure hatred and deep fears, tapping into the dark side of the Force. She let all of that energy surge into her legs as she bent her knees and launched herself after the Zabrak. She grit her teeth as a handful of the creatures nipped away at her back, thighs and calves. Some tore alchemical latex away, while others cut deeper into her porcelain skin.

Pain-wise there was no difference. It felt like a dozen knife-cuts, especially as her symbiote channeled the agony further. Alaisy screamed behind her mask, with no one to hear her underwater. At least it kept the critters from slowing down the tribe-woman, or worse, breaking her concentration and drowning the Zabrak. The Sith twirled her saberstaff behind her, scattering many of them. One or two managed to get past the crimson wheel of death and bit into her arm and shoulder. She fought through the torment, knowing she could close up her wounds and suit later once they reached safety.

The vibrant Zabrak snatched onto the rocks as she reached the first reflection, looking back at the Human woman in concern. She then turned her head upwards, searching for the source of light. There wasn’t much she could do to help Tir’eivra now, lest she herself run out of air. Sera’s pupils dilated as they spotted yellow light above and on the opposite side of them, shimmering down into a prism of crystallized stone. She propelled herself off of the current ledge and towards the next. The way up was much like an underwater cave chimney. Except that it snaked upwards in a zig-zag pattern.

Silt rose up as the thermal detonator descended onto the lake floor. Then it exploded, atomizing water and sand around it. The elasticity of water and explosive power formed into a shock wave. Overpressure pushed and ripped through the tail of the swarm in pursuit of Sera and Alaisy. The resulting high temperatures boiled many of the Acklay alive. The massive disturbance caused the entire colony to scatter and find safety in nearby crevices. Some panicked around the obelisk, worried their shrine and hive was being obliterated.

Bubbles blowing from the Sith’s facemask signified a sigh of relief as she managed to catch up with Sera. Black tendrils coiled around wounds and ripped latex, sipping on dark side energy. The alchemical symbiote attempted to stem its host’s bleeding and formed early nets around her skin so it could start knitting itself back together again.

Sera noticed the looped thumb and index finger gesture from Alaisy as she turned her head around. That follow-up sense of reassurance did not last long as she peered back up. Her keen hunter’s eyes noticed two Acklay circling above them, one much larger than the other. Arx Primus reflected onto the body of water past the monsters.

Kark, so close, but what now?

Kaern made the slit-throat gesture back at the black-clad woman. She was going to run out of oxygen, and soon! Alaisy replied with all five fingers pointing up to the west, she then tapped her own chest and pointed five fingers towards the east.

Ahh, split up and hope only one of us gets eaten.

Whatever it was, they had no choice but to go up. At least, if Sera could grab the attention from the smaller one she would have a higher chance of reaching the surface. Tir’eivra had her air supply, she could fight underwater, but even that would be certain death if she had to take on both of the monsters.

The only reason the fully grown mother—and youngling—Acklay hadn’t attacked yet was because of the cascade of bubbles and dust that floated up from the cave explosion. The cloud had followed the Arconans like a veil of shadow.

Both Sera and Alaisy swam towards the surface in opposite directions, trailing in the darkness for as long as possible, careful to not get caught up inside of it so much that they would lose sight of their targets.

Slowly, their veil lost density, dissipating completely once particles lost their velocity, and began sinking back down. In the meanwhile, Kaern snuck upwards towards the west, while Tir’eivra slithered to the east.

The smaller Acklay spotted the Zabrak first, jolting towards her as she was getting closer and closer to the top side. The much larger crustacean turned its large, tooth-laden head back and forth between the duo, eventually deciding to join the younger beast in its pursuit.

Alaisy noticed the giant Acklay heading towards Sera. She stopped and turned towards it, stretching out a clawed hand and bending her fingertips towards herself. Her will focused on the deepest, darkest emotions she could summon. With all of her power, she commanded the Force to tug at the overgrown Acklay’s rudder-like tail. It was difficult to reach out underwater with the beast in motion, but she focused heavily on one point, hoping for the best.

The massive beast could faintly feel something pulling at its rear. It slowed down and twisted its head around to check what it was before the rest of its body followed. At first, the Sith felt like grinning behind her visor, but when she noticed it darting towards her she quickly lost her confidence.

Sera is going to owe me for this one.

The Zabrak kept swimming upwards, cutting through the water like a spear. She almost panicked as she was greeted by bright sunlight right in front of her. Her mouth opened wide as she broke through the surface. A feeling of ecstasy and relief surged through her lungs as fresh air filled them.

Then the Force screamed at her.

A blot of purple-blue exoskeleton struck out. Sera pulled her body to the left to dodge away from a long, clawed limb creeping from underneath her. As it had played-out in her mind before, the Marauder ignited golden plasma, dove down, and slashed out at the base of the Acklay’s joint as it threw its carapace towards her.

The beast passed by Sera, not fast enough to react, and ended up scraping the length of its thick plated body over the lightsaber. It yowled and screeched. Primal fear filled its senses as it tried to swim towards land in desperation.

The tall Sith readied her Chromium Spine and stared down the incoming mother-beast. She hoped that her bravery, or foolishness at least, gave the tribal warrior a breath of air. Tir’eivra inhaled deeply, realizing this might be her final breath.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 12 February, 2021 11:42 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways


Some fun action sequences here, and some plot progression, which can be very difficult in a third post for a singular ending. Your spelling was on point in this post, and your syntax as well!

Can Be Improved


I only can say I'm miffed that the thermal detonator's shockwave somehow didn't reach Alaisy or Sera, nothing about the pressure buffeting them or causing discomfort/throwing them upwards. Seems like an obvious choice.

The young Acklay scrambled to flee, lithe form darting away through the water, trailing ichor from the grievous wound that Sera had dealt to it. She watched it for a moment as she resurfaced, drawing sweet air into her burning lungs with desperate, gasping breaths. It wouldn’t have been difficult to pursue the creature. Half bisected, she could have outswam it without even trying. Easy prey, an easy payment. She could follow it, take it, and get paid well for the work.

It was the smart option. The sane option.

Sera glanced down through the water. To Alaisy. To what was, in all honesty, almost certain death.

Alaisy saw that, of course. She knew what she was facing, and she fought it anyway.

The sith weaved through the water with preternatural ease, sliding around the Acklay matron’s first strike with the dark grace of a dancer performing their swan song. The massive violet claw was almost as long as the Sith was tall, but she didn’t flinch in the least, whirling to the side as it speared towards her. The twin blades of the Chromium Spine spun as she did, cutting the forelimb’s razor tip to pieces that sizzled as they sank through the water.

The creature’s pain was a beacon, one that she clung to as more limbs whirled towards her. Alaisy ducked under the second as it stabbed for her face. The Force screamed into her mind as the third came, giving her just enough time to knock the jab aside with the Chromium Spine’s jagged hilt. She struck out with her left hand as she did, wickedly sharp vibroclaws piercing into the Acklay’s carapace, allowing her to use it as a pivot-point in the water, swirling around the creature and putting her back to the monolith that jutted towards the water’s surface.

She didn’t count on the fourth limb slashing backwards. The spare, trailing inch of one of the Acklay’s hind legs cut across the Sith’s front, opening a shallow, superficial gash from her belly to her breast bone. One inch closer, and it would have gutted her like a fish. But, it was bad enough as it was...for the hooked tip of the limb caught the hoses to Alaisy’s mask and cut directly through them.

Alaisy didn’t panic as the chilling water filled her mask. The Sith took one deep breath and held it, argent eyes flicking back towards the Acklay. She didn’t even glance towards the surface.

As the massive Acklay’s forelimbs folded, preparing for the strike, Alaisy crooked her clawed fingers, savoring the moment. She wondered what the creature would see...its nest smashed, perhaps? The destruction of the Obelisk? The sublime torture of the labratory? So many options. Any one would be enough to distract it, prepare it for the saber that she would shove down its throat.

Death, to be sure. If drowning didn’t kill her, the nymphs that’s were beginning to re-emerge certainly would. But, she would die unafraid...which was more than she could say for the Acklay. As she prepared the darkest horror she could muster...Alaisy felt something.

A song, in the back of her mind. A voice, rising on the wind. Warmth and strength and power washing over her, even as something in the very fabric of her suit recoiled at the touch.

Then, a telekinetic grip closed around the Sith’s waist and yanked her through the water. Alaisy gave a hrk at the surprise motion, and she caught a glimpse of amethyst claws snapping into the spot where she had been only a half moment before. The matron’s screech of frustration was almost enough to bring a grin to her face...one that would have matched Sera’s, for the Zabrak was grinning from ear to ear directly before her when she looked up.

Sera had been given the easy way out. Instead, she had chosen near certain death.

That really shouldn’t have surprised Alaisy...but somehow, it still did.

They needed no hand signals this time. There was only one real option. Swim up. Swim towards the light. They moved in unison, pushing the minor head-start they had on the swarm of enraged Acklays for all its worth. Both pulled at the Force, at every reserve of strength, at every shred of aquatic grace that they could muster, swirling around each other and the pillar as they raced for the surface.

And all the while, Alaisy could feel the blasted song, echoing in the vaults of her mind. Welcoming, beckoning. It wasn't the call of the obelisk, harsh and old and insistent. No, it was more like...a voice, asking for a partner, begging for a second part to a duet.

Sera. Sera’s battle meditation. Not pressing into her mind, not yet...but asking permission to meld with her.

They were so different. So different. Honorable and cruel, selfish and selfless, ambitious and hopeful. Oil and water, they should never have mixed...and yet they did. They respected each other. They worked well together, for all their ridiculous dysfunction.

Alaisy’s lungs burned. Sera’s muscles ached. Both were slowing. The Acklays were gaining.

Sera had very nearly left Alaisy behind, when she was at the surface. The opening had been there...and for half a second, she had almost taken it.

And Alaisy had chosen to give Sera the chance to escape. She had stopped the mother from going after the Zabrak, without needing to. She had put her life on the line...for what?

No, they weren’t opposites. Not yet, at least. They were...equals.

Alaisy’s eyes flicked shut...and she accepted the bond of Sera’s battle meditation, linking herself to the Zabrak. Their hearts synced into rhythm, and the song in Alaisy’s mind swelled as her own voice joined it. The powerful, pulsating rhythm of the dark rippling underneath the flow of the light.

Beautiful. Powerful.

Synced, a measure of their exhaustion faded, their pace jumping forward. The surface grew closer and closer, the sunlit water glimmering ahead, even as the giant Acklay shrieked directly at their heels. At the last possible moment, Sera stuck her right hand outward, flicking the pinky down twice. A glowing chord shot from the vambrace belted around her forearm, shooting out of the water. The grappling line curled around the obelisk as it jutted from the surface of the water, and Sera was rapidly pulled forward, speeding through the last few feet. Her left hand shot out behind her as she went, directly at Alaisy.

This time, she was ready for the telekinetic grip as it closed around her waist, pulling her from the water in a crystalline cascade. Alaisy was airborne for a few seconds, the strength of Sera’s grip sending her flying before catching her once again. She went limp in the telekinetic grasp, midnight hair falling around her mask in dark, dripping toussels as she gasped desperately for breath.

The Sith raised one, soaked hand and pointed it at the water. Sera gave a sharp eep of alarm as she realized what was coming, pulling herself away from the lapping edge, just as a cobalt tinged storm of lightning erupted from Alaisy’s fingertips, sparking into the water’s surface with a deafening pop and a long, evil hiss. She held it for a few moments, finally withdrawing with a sigh when the first few bodies bubbled to the surface. One of them was very, very large.

“...guess that means...we gotta go after the little one?” Sera questioned, panting as she slowly levitated Alaisy to the water’s edge. The shiny Sith stepped down with all the grace that she could muster, responding in turn with a trembling hand. Sera gave the glowing monolith a fitful kick as the invisible hold pulled her away.

“You mean you scared it off? Why would you ever do that?” Alaisy questioned coyly.

Sera didn’t have any response, save for a grin.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 12 February, 2021 11:43 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways


Again, a lot of action, some interesting ideas as well. I liked how you write Alaisy fighting in the water. Your ending was also rather fun.

Can Be Improved


Battle Meditation is an extremely taxing and focus intensive power. The whole 'telekinetically dragging' Alaisy up with you pushed the boundaries, considering the injuries Sera had suffered up till that point and the focus to maintain the Meld and its influences.