Augur Farrin Xies Tarentae vs. Savant Appius "Zappius" Wight

Augur Farrin Xies Tarentae

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Vizsla
Male Human, Force Disciple, Shadow, Imperial
vs.

Savant Appius "Zappius" Wight

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Taldryan
Male Human, Force Disciple, Sorcerer, Mandalorian
Comment

A perfect master and apprentice reunion in the sands of the Colosseum. I loved seeing Appius and Farrin interact in this match. Both writers did a good job of bringing their characters’ individual and very different personalities to light at the beginning of the match, though their camaraderie had each of them relying on the other’s strengths at various times throughout in a good team dynamic.

I genuinely enjoyed both writers. Farrin wrote his character sustaining a serious injury in his second post that added to the sense of tension and peril in the story. Appius proceeded to use that event to take the story a little deeper by weaving in some emotional conflict and tough decisions for the characters. That narrative choice made for an action-packed conclusion to the match that brought a little more weight to the story.

Overall, a great story! Well done by both combatants. I know we’ll see more of Appius, and I hope more from Farrin, too? :)

Hall SARLACC [2021]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Augur Farrin Xies Tarentae, Savant Appius "Zappius" Wight
Winner Savant Appius "Zappius" Wight
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Augur Farrin Xies Tarentae's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Savant Appius "Zappius" Wight's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue [SCENARIO] SARLACC 2021, Round 2: Arx Colosseum
Last Post 22 February, 2021 6:14 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Ciara Tearnan Rothwell Tarentae
Syntax - 15%
Adept Farrin Xies Tarentae High Inquisitor Anderson
Score: 4 (Advantage) Score: 4
Rationale: Very few minor errors. Rationale: A few minor errors.
Story - 40%
Adept Farrin Xies Tarentae High Inquisitor Anderson
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: A solid and engaging story with good characterisation. Rationale: A great story with a good mix of action and layers of conflict that challenged the characters.
Realism - 25%
Adept Farrin Xies Tarentae High Inquisitor Anderson
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No errors found. Good work! Rationale: No errors found. Good work!
Continuity - 20%
Adept Farrin Xies Tarentae High Inquisitor Anderson
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: One minor continuity break in your second post. Rationale: No errors found. Good work!
Adept Farrin Xies Tarentae's Score: 3.92 High Inquisitor Anderson's Score: 4.45
Posts

colosseum

Arx’s Colosseum is a monument to the original Petranaki arena on Geonosis, the site where the Clone Wars began with an epic clash between Jedi and Sith. However, instead of confining itself to a decrepit ruin, the Colosseum stands as an example of what the Geonosian arena once was.

Walls tall enough to be unscalable for even the most practiced Force-user surround a theatre the size of a holoball field, floored with sandy soil. Above, rows of seats are packed together into sections for spectators to observe the carnage. The dignitaries who preside over the gladiator matches instead find themselves in an elongated platform “box”, with the large stone throne reserved for the most prestigious among them, flanked by smaller seats for their companions. Large holo-projection screens occupy each of the Colosseum’s walls, displaying images of the combat below streamed by the cam droids that circle the arena.

The arena floor itself is, naturally, more dangerous than it appears. A wide assortment of traps are concealed beneath the dirt and sand, including but not limited to: retractable fire-spewing nozzles, power coils firing bolts of lightning, electrified floor panels, deadfalls lined with spikes, and even obelisks that simply erupt from the ground. These traps are operated by sentient technicians in the Colosseum’s control room, well away from the fighting.

You and another member of the Brotherhood have been tasked by the Headmistress of the Shadow Academy with gathering research data on a wide variety of dangerous creatures. In addition to the normal raucous crowds, sophisticated scanning equipment has been set up around the Colosseum floor to monitor the creatures’ behavior and vital signs under a variety of circumstances—including combat and injury.

Your goal in this scenario is twofold: provoke the creatures and hold their attention for long enough that the Shadow Academy scanners can collect a wide variety of physiological data, and prevent the creatures from destroying the scanning equipment placed in the Colosseum by the Academy researchers. Once those tasks are complete, you will be free to leave the arena (if you can) and claim your reward.

The Headmistress would strongly prefer the creature be left alive and useful after the experiment is finished. She would also "prefer" that you not interfere with the research by attempting to rescue the creature, but you may do so at your own peril.

It’ll be fun!

With a weary, rueful sigh, Farrin Xies shook his head. The current Headmistress had personally invited him to Arx Minor to assist with some experiments she was running, but of all the things this trip had been so far, “fun” was far off the list. He had complained, of course - something he was fairly good at - but she had lightly brushed that away... all while sitting behind his old desk, no less! Instead, she had requested one last task of him, one that laid on the other side of this blast door.

“I might as well get this over with,” he muttered with resignation.

A flick of his finger activated the control and the door opened with a soft hiss, allowing the Vizslan Aedile to step from the darkened antechamber into the blindingly bright light of the waiting Colosseum. He had been here before, of course, but only in the box seats. The arena floor was much different - and that wasn’t just because of the hidden traps liberally sprinkled throughout. Ciara had told him he’d be meeting an “associate” of hers that he’d know well - whatever that meant - but had refused to tell him more, or even what they were sent here to study. As he strode into the middle of the arena, he allowed his mind to ponder on both questions.

A blast door similar to the one he had exited from moments ago opened nearby and a tall figure confidently appeared in it clad like a Mandalorian, his pure beskar armor painted a brilliant shade of red with a lightning bolt across the chest piece. It took only a split second before recognition crossed his face and the former Headmaster cracked a grin.

“If the Headmistress sent the two of us on this task, she must have something special planned,” Farrin called out across the arena at his former apprentice. Appius quickly crossed the distance between the two and joined him in the center where the two clasped hands. “Master, I haven’t seen you since I left Vizsla!” the younger man happily exclaimed. “Appius, come now - you can call me Farrin. After all, I’ve heard you’re making quite a name for yourself out in - Taldryan, is it?”

The younger man opened his mouth to respond but before he could, a large roar echoed throughout the arena. Both men swung toward the noise, hands on their weapons, as a large gate crashed open opposite them and one of the largest rancors Farrin had ever seen charged through it. Unclipping the two silver hilts from his belt and igniting their brilliant white blades, the Vizslan suddenly regretted coming here. Something special, indeed, he thought.

As Farrin tensed to sprint forward, Appius reached out and put his hand on his former Master’s shoulder to stop him. “Ciara will be furious with us if we kill her pet - this rancor is one of her prized possessions. We need to keep it focused on us while the scanners,” here, the Taldryan gestured toward the small probe droids that were beginning to zoom onto the arena floor, “do their work.”

Farrin regarded him with a flat gaze. “We’re... bait, essentially?” Appius grinned, and enthusiastically nodded. “It’ll be fun!” The Vizslan somehow doubted that very, very much but extinguished his ‘sabers all the same. “Fine,” he groused to his former apprentice, “Any ideas on how to do this in such a way that I won’t be spending the next week in a bacta tank?” After its initial violent charge into the arena, the rancor was too engaged in angrily bellowing at the crowd to notice the two men so they had a moment to develop a plan of attack - one that wouldn’t kill the beast, ideally.

They both paused for a moment to study the beast before Appius finally spoke up. “You still a crack shot with those blasters?”

Farrin snorted before replying, “I’m almost offended you ask. Of course I am - but that’s a rancor, the bolts will just glance off.”

The Mandalorian grinned again before setting his helmet firmly on his head. “But it’ll sure make it mad, right? Get it to charge at me, and I’ll handle the rest.”

Farrin shrugged, but nodded. He still couldn’t quite grasp what his former apprentice was planning, but he’d go along for now. A single rancor shouldn’t be too much of a threat for two veteran Equites, and if Appius’ plan went too sideways Farrin was fairly certain they could just kill the creature and apologize to Ciara later. Besides, curiosity as to exactly what the Taldryan had planned was getting the better of him.

In a smooth, practiced motion, the former Headmaster drew his midnight black blasters and leveled them at the rancor. After a moment’s pause, he pulled both triggers and two crimson bolts streaked across the Colosseum floor, striking the rancor and ricocheting off into the air. The creature bellowed even louder and swung to face them - now, they certainly had its full attention. As it began charging toward them, Appius shot Farrin a quick thumbs up before taking off at a dead sprint toward the thing.

Dank farrik, the Vizslan thought. What now?

Ciara Tearnan Rothwell Tarentae, 1 March, 2021 2:26 PM UTC

What Went Well

This was a good introductory post setting up the characters and the conflict with some background on their relationship that made their team dynamic fun to read. Your characterisation helped to highlight the contrast between the two men despite their camaraderie, with Farrin’s thoughtful demeanor and cautious approach forced to deal with the rather more direct and flamboyant approach of his lightning-bolt adorned apprentice.

Room for Growth

A pretty clean read for syntax, but there were still a few small errors.

Instead, she had requested one last task of him, one that laid on the other side of this blast door.

Laid is the past tense of lay, which means to place something and will generally have a direct object. For this sentence, you needed the past tense of lie, which means to recline, rest or more generally just "be" in a certain state. The past tense of lie is ... lay. Isn't English fun? :P

Farrin regarded him with a flat gaze. “We’re... bait, essentially?” Appius grinned, and enthusiastically nodded. “It’ll be fun!” The Vizslan somehow doubted that very, very much but extinguished his ‘sabers all the same. “Fine,” he groused to his former apprentice, “Any ideas on how to do this in such a way that I won’t be spending the next week in a bacta tank?”

This paragraph should’ve been broken into multiple paragraphs as you change speakers to avoid confusion. You also needed a period rather than a comma after “former apprentice” since that completes the sentence.

Farrin remained where he stood as his apprentice ran towards the gargantuan monster with reckless abandon. The crowd were raucous with anticipation. Cheers and yells boomed, roared, and thundered all across the Colosseum as the citizens of Arx awaited the bloodshed they paid good credits to see.

Appius approached the rancor stride by stride as the sand crunched beneath his feet. The monstrous creature continued to charge at him in return and raised its left arm, ready to crush the crimson-armoured man into the sand.

Luckily for the Sorcerer, the Force alarmed him of the incoming attack and he activated his jetpack. Flames spewed out of the thrusters and propelled him over the Rancor as its hand slammed into the ground where the Mandalorian stood moments before. Sand and dust scattered over to the sides, with Appius safely out of harm's way above it.

Not one to waste an opportunity, Appius summoned forth the tendrils of the Dark Side within him. He bent the power to his will and drove it to the tips of his fingers as sparks of white and blue danced between his fingertips. The Taldryanite proceeded to shoot a stream of agonizing lightning at the beast from his elevated position in the air. The horrendous entity howled and shrieked as electricity coursed through its body and patches of skin burned across its head. The jeering of the crowd intensified at the visual display on show.

Farrin did not remain idle whilst this was occurring. He understood Arx all too well and, as a former Headmaster of the Shadow Academy himself, he knew of the Colosseum's little tricks and mechanisms that hid in most of the crevices, walls, and floor underneath the sand. His eyes darted to some of the scanning equipment planted by the Academy's researchers, and that was when a moment of inspiration came to him.

"Appius!" the Augur called out and drew the Sorcerer's attention to him. When his apprentice landed beside him, the Shadow reached out with a single raised arm and gave the signal to ignite the trap.

Audible clicks and clacks could be heard around the arena, and the pair of Force users could swear the ground was getting warmer and warmer beneath their feet. The men recoiled from the jets of fire that burst out of the ground. The red, blue, and orange flames engulfed the rancor as it thrashed and roared in its hellish torture. Its beige skin turned as black as coal, becoming crisp and hard under the intense heat. The fire finally stopped when the rancor dropped onto its knees with its face in the ground.

"So, Farrin. I take it you like your rancors flame-grilled?" Appius said with a hint of both sarcasm and annoyance, placing his hands on his hips to emphasize his point.

"Something wrong?" Inquired the Wren Aedile with a raised brow.

"Yes, there is. We were supposed to be collecting data on it," Appius gestured to the small swarm of probe droids that surrounded the burning husk of the rancor. The putrid stench of its burning skin filled the arena and churned stomachs in the audience. "How am I going to explain to Ciara that her favourite pet is now charcoal in the middle of the Arx Colosseum?"

The crowd were now restless and jeered at two Force users as they approached the downed corpse of the rancor. They were clearly dissatisfied with the untimely end to the fight which started and then ended just as quickly.

"I'll smooth things over with Ciara. She'll get over it eventually," Farrin answered dismissively.

"Easy for you to say. You don't have to work with her. Ankira won't be too happy if I have to spend even more time away from Ostara because of this."

This piqued the older Human’s interest. Farrin and Appius hadn't seen each other since the younger man left Vizsla for Taldryan. Farrin heard stories of what happened to the Sorcerer's family on Mandalore. This was as good a time as any to inquire further about what had happened since. Maybe he could help? Farrin may have been the Mandalorian's master, but he was also his friend. Even if he never said as such, he did care.

Before he had the chance to ask, the Augur felt a shift through the Force. The Dark Side descended around them as the swirling energy surrounded the husk of the rancor.

"I sense it, too!" Appius bellowed as the master-student combo backed away from the downed beast. All of a sudden, a violent burst of thick, black liquid oozed out of the rancor's lower back and stained the Colosseum floor. Two brand new appendages grew out of the wound: red and black and almost exact replicas of the arms above them. Scales grew out of the beast's spine and on top of its skull. All four palms slammed into the ground as a small vibration shook beneath them. The rancor rose to its knees, its flesh as black as space and eyes as red as blood. The beast raised its head to the sky and let out an unholy shriek.

The crowd erupted into cheers and whistles. The fight they were here to see just got a whole lot more interesting.

"Mas… Farrin," Appius caught himself before he stumbled. "What's happening to it?"

A bead of sweat dripped down the Aedile's face and the Sorcerer couldn't help but glance worryingly to his master. Whatever was happening had Farrin concerned and that was never a good sign.

"Ciara, what have you done?" Farrin muttered under his breath. The rancor finally returned to its senses and its eyes locked onto the Force Disciples below.

"Farrin? Any time now, please?" Appius prodded whilst the gargantuan beast slowly stomped towards them.

"I've read the books. Scoured the Academy's archives whilst I was Headmaster, but I never saw one in person. It's a mutation. The pain of being burnt alive woke the effects of the Grand Master's ritual and twisted its essence. There have been many names for them over the last several millennia, but only one comes to mind for an abomination like that…"

The rancor roared and leapt several feet into the air to gasps amongst the Colosseum spectators.

"Sithspawn!" Farrin finished.

At the last possible second, Appius grabbed his master around his waist as the thunderous roar of his jetpack propelled them both out of the way. Three arms crashed into the dirt, however, they were unable to avoid the fourth. It swatted them with the impact of a runaway speeder and sent the pair into a gathering of spectators.

Ciara Tearnan Rothwell Tarentae, 1 March, 2021 2:28 PM UTC

What Went Well

You made good use of the crowd and the environment in this post to heighten the energy and tension of the battle! Your choice of modification to the beast was pretty extreme, but it made up for the apparently quick dispatch of the beast to the Colosseum’s fire trap. I also liked that you used Farrin’s aspects and his history as the former Headmaster to inform the story.

Room for Growth

No major complaints here, just a few very minor syntax errors (capitalization of rancor in the third paragraph, a missing word and some misplaced commas). Kudos to you and your proofers!

One note I wanted to draw your attention to just for future use:

"Something wrong?" Inquired the Wren Aedile with a raised brow.

Since this inquiry is a dialogue tag that completes the sentence rather than standing alone, you should not have capitalized the i in “inquired.”

It made sense, really. The Headmistress needed someone she could trust to test what was clearly an important project to her, and who better than a former Headmaster and one of her Magistrates - especially if those two had a history of working successfully together in the past? Honestly, why would you waste the talents of two capable and veteran Force users on a creature that was beneath them? Further, it made even more sense that a fellow Tarentae would dabble in the creation of such a blighted creature, and who better to fight it than a former Consul of the Clan of Death? Ciara was proving to be much more clever than Farrin had given her credit for, and he already had thought fairly highly of her.

That train of thought was abruptly cut off as Farrin and his former apprentice slammed into the wall of the arena, both men falling to the ground and gasping to recover their breath. Slowly, they both got to the feet.

The Augur, holding his side where he was certain he had at least bruised (if not outright broken) a rib, turned to Appius. “My friend, you okay?” The younger man shook his head to clear the daze and was about to respond in the affirmative before he was cut off with another blood-curdling roar. Clearly, this abomination hadn’t tossed them away and forgotten about them, a point further underlined as it lumbered toward them.

Quickly casting about in his memories for what knowledge he had gleaned of Sithspawn like this, Farrin came upon a sudden idea. “Appius, get ready to show the crowd how you got your nickname!” The Mandalorian grinned behind his helmet, ready to give the onlookers something to really cheer about.

Closing his eyes and stretching out his left hand toward the creature, the former Headmaster summoned the Force to his will. He allowed himself only a moment to revel in its power before he clenched his fist and lifted it into the sky. As he did so, the creature - now only a few meters away - stopped moving forward and instead jerked into the air as if caught in an invisible net. Farrin’s face contorted with concentration as he struggled to maintain his grasp on the creature through the Force, its Sithspawn nature causing him extraordinary difficulty made even worse by the pain he felt when he took a breath.

Appius spared a quick glance at his former Master and saw the strain he was under. Focusing back on the task literally in front of him, he flung a gauntlet-clad hand forward, fingers outstretched. Bending the Force to his will, he allowed the power to course through him and out of his fingers where it took the form of a single brilliant beam of pure electricity. The creature let out an ear-piercing shriek as the beam hit it in the chest, tendrils of lightning arcing out across its body. Immediately following that up, Farrin dug deep into his mental reserves and found the strength to fling the shocked rancor across the Colosseum away from the two men. With a crash, the creature slammed into the wall, stunned just like the two Force users had been moments before. After a moment’s hesitation, the crowd roared with glee.

The concentration and the injury - it was almost certainly broken, he now thought - were too much for Farrin, and he fell to one knee in pain. Instantly, his former apprentice was by his side, reaching out with the Force to gauge his friend’s state.

“Farrin, I’m sure Ciara has enough data now. Let’s get you out of here and into a bacta tank, yeah?” Appius’ voice struck a reassuring tone as he helped his friend to his feet.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks, App-” Farrin’s reply was cut off as from across the arena the Dark Side-enhanced rancor roared, somehow even angrier than before.

You have got to be kidding me, the former Headmaster thought.

Ciara Tearnan Rothwell Tarentae, 1 March, 2021 2:29 PM UTC

What Went Well

A good use of both combatants’ strengths here! Farrin’s injuries made this post more compelling as you took time to write him genuinely struggling in a situation his character sheet says he’d likely never knowingly volunteer for.

I also liked that you brought in the bacta tank reference from the first post and the moment’s hesitation from the crowd before deciding they were safe enough to cheer.

Farrin’s internal thought process was also fun to read (though maybe not a good choice between posts with cliff-hanger action). The Tarentae reference had me imagining Ciara like Bilbo, “After all, why not? Why shouldn’t I make Sithspawn?” … which is probably not an unfair characterisation. ;)

Room for Growth

That train of thought was abruptly cut off as Farrin and his former apprentice slammed into the wall of the arena, both men falling to the ground and gasping to recover their breath.

This post unfortunately started with a continuity error as you wrote that Farrin and Appius slammed into the wall of the arena, but Appius wrote that you were sent into a “gathering of spectators,” which would have put you both in the stands with people around you.

Other than that, this was a great post! Just a few minor sentence structure issues.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks, App-” Farrin’s reply was cut off as from across the arena the Dark Side-enhanced rancor roared, somehow even angrier than before.

You needed to have either commas around “from across the arena” or to have re-structured this sentence to read a little more fluidly as, “...Farrin’s reply was cut off as the Dark Side-enhanced rancor roared from across the arena, somehow even angrier than before.”

Appius draped Farrin's arm over his shoulder as the mutated rancor went on a violent rampage against everything around it. With four arms, there wasn't much that stood in its way. Four giant fist slammed into everything nearby, destroying specialised equipment from the Shadow Academy in moments. The rancor took out a section of the Colosseum wall, and those unfortunate to be sitting nearby fell to the sand below and were left to the mercy, or lack thereof, of the dark side infused rancor.

Klaxons blared across the Colosseum as the crowd broke into a frenzy. The spectators screamed and cried as they fled through whatever exit they could find.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please leave in a timely and organised manner. Remain calm, officials will guide the way out."

The announcement came from the Colosseum speakers, yet did nothing to deter the crowd from their panic. Appius saw an opportunity and tried to guide his Master out of the arena whilst the Sithspawn was distracted.

"Come on, you need to move quicker!" Appius hurried. The former Headmaster didn't protest, but unfortunately for them, that was easier said than done. Every breath the Augur took pained the side of his chest. Farrin coughed and sputtered a small amount of blood, causing more concern to the Mandalorian. The injury already began to swell and made every little movement agonising. The former Clan Tarentum Consul hissed and scrunched his face with each ache that pulsed in his side. Appius was lucky. Farrin cushioned his fall when they crashed into the wall. Even then, Appius still felt the bruises he was going to have later.

The mutated rancor turned its attention to the two Force Disciples that hobbled towards the durasteel gate at the southernmost point of the Colosseum. The beast seemed to remember the beings that caused the pain it was put through. Maybe it was the dark side's corruption in its mind? Or maybe it was its primal animal instincts that still lurked underneath the surface? Either way, the mutated creature stomped towards them, one foot after the other, intending to squash the Humans under its fists. The master-student combo felt the lethal intent as the ground shook with every pound the rancor took with its feet.

"Kark," Appius commented. The Sorcerer's head snapped to the Colosseum exit, then to the rancor, and finally his master. He knew they wouldn't make it out before the Sithspawn reached them, and Farrin was in no condition to fight. That was when the Ektrosis Quaestor made his decision, right there and then to protect the man he saw as a father figure in his life, even if it cost him his own. The Mandalorian carefully lowered Farrin's arm from his shoulder.

"Appius, what are you doing?" the Augur asked with a pained gasp.

"I'm giving you time to escape," Appius answered, taking a few steps towards the rancor. "I won't let it kill you. I've lost far too much. Every single time I get close to somebody, something happens to take them away from me again. It happened to my home and family on Mandalore. It happened to nearly every person I got close too afterwards. I thought I was destined to be alone forever. I turned to the dark side and got myself into fight after fight to try and get myself killed. Why? Because I felt worthless! I couldn't take it anymore! Only now am I beginning to get my life back on track. Thanks to people like Ankira, Aylin, Dasha, and you. I won't lose anyone else. I refuse to lose anyone else! The only way this thing is getting anywhere near you, is over my dead body!"

Farrin felt the dark side of the Force flow through his fellow Human like a supercharged battery. Even despite the Sorcerer's heavy breathing and the fatigue he already felt, the Ektrosis Quaestor twisted that energy into his fingers and shot a blast of lightning at the head of the humongous beast. Electricity surged through the monster's body before it released another blood-curdling roar. With his weapon in hand, Appius pressed the ignition switch as twin emerald blades snapped alive out of both ends of the hilt. His jetpack flared to life and propelled him into the air, allowing him to take an elevated position above the monster now that he had its attention. The Sorcerer was like a fly that refused to be swatted, for he kept just out of reach of the Sithspawn's violent swings.

Farrin's head turned towards the exit. It was true. He had every opportunity to escape and save his own skin, and under normal circumstances, that would be exactly what he would have done. The Wren Aedile had seen and been through enough to know when to turn tail and make a swift exit. However, Appius wasn't an ordinary member of the Brotherhood. The Sorcerer was someone Farrin took under his wing and watched grow and develop. The Mandalorian was his apprentice, so he felt inclined to do something, anything to help. The Augur focused his attention on scanning the nearby terrain when his eyes came across a number of pressurised pads where Appius launched himself only moments ago. The blast from the jetpacks thrusters revealed what lay hidden underneath the sand.

The gears turned in Farrin's mind as a plan came to the forefront of his consciousness. He knew exactly what those pads did. The Augur just needed to get the rancor's attention.

"App...gah!"

The Wren Aedile wanted to voice his plan to the Taldryanite, but when he tried to raise his voice, the harsh pain in his ribs made itself known again. Appius continued to evade the beast, whilst Farrin delicately placed a hand over his broken rib and cursed his luck. Using the Force was out of the question given the severity of his injury, and it seemed to the older Human that his options had run out. Curiously, that was when his left hand grazed over the ranged weapon still holstered at his side.

His blasters! He still had his blasters!

Farrin unclipped his BlasTech pistol and gripped it firmly in his left hand. He pressed the trigger and one by one, a few bolts of plasma soared across the short distance between himself and the rancor before Farrin was forced to stop shooting, his blaster unable to sustain the rate of fire. The shots pinged against the side of the mutated monstrosities head. It did no damage, but it did as intended and drew the beast's attention to him.

Appius staggered upon the sand behind the rancor, through hard breathing and heavy gasps for air he watched as the humongous entity stomped towards his master.

Farrin, what are you doing!? the Sorcerer screamed in his mind. His jetpack roared before it lifted him up and over the raging beast.

"Are you… insane!?" Appius scolded between breaths as he landed beside the Augur.

Farrin didn't answer with words but gestured towards the pads a few feet in front of them. The idea clicked immediately with Appius, and he wrapped Farrin's arm over his shoulder.

The rancor stepped onto the pad, and with the cam droids watching them, the Augur gave the signal. Appius leapt backwards and Farrin winced at the sudden sharp pain in his sides.

BOOM!

The mutated monstrosity was caught in a cacophony of explosions that erupted beneath its feet. The Sithspawn released an ear-piercing shriek as pain enveloped its every sense. It collapsed to the ground moments later, a cloud of dust and sand covering the area around it. When it all settled, the pair of Force Disciples were treated to the sorry state the rancor was in. The humongous entity's left side had been blown apart, the two arms on that side severed from its body and lay on the ground several feet away. The same, black ooze from before poured out of it as it growled lowly, having no strength left to fight back.

"At least it's still alive. That's something, right?" Appius commented. Farrin mustered the strength to smirk at his apprentice. Colosseum security and medical personnel rushed to the scene to both secure the rancor, and tend to Farrin's injury. The Augur was absolutely going to be spending some time in a bacta tank.

He was going to have words with Ciara about all this the next chance he could.

Ciara Tearnan Rothwell Tarentae, 1 March, 2021 2:34 PM UTC

What Went Well

This was a fantastic post that really ramped up the action of the story. I loved the chaos right from the beginning with the spectators falling to the arena and having to run for their lives. You also did a great job using Farrin’s injuries to not only add peril and tension to the story but to challenge both characters. Appius acts in line with what you might expect from his history, but his decision to be willing to potentially sacrifice himself for just one is still compelling. Farrin’s decision is a little more interesting since it directly contradicts his natural inclinations, but there’s still enough of his own history there to drive a different choice.

The blast from the jetpack’s thrusters revealed what lay hidden underneath the sand.

The gears turned in Farrin's mind as a plan came to the forefront of his consciousness. He knew exactly what those pads did. The Augur just needed to get the rancor's attention.

This was a small thing, but I liked how you didn’t just have Farrin think of this idea out of the blue, but you used the existing action to spark inspiration. It fits well with Farrin’s resourcefulness. Concluding with the bacta tank reference from the first post was a nice touch, as well!

Room for Growth

Another really clean post for syntax. I did catch a few punctuation errors and typos (too instead of to, fist instead of fists, a missing apostrophe for a possessive noun, etc.) but nothing major, so great job!