The building that has become the Chyron Embassy is not the tallest in Port Kasiya, but it surpasses all others in the city's northeast. Basalt sidewalks smelling ever so slightly of brimstone underline a time-worn facade that's decrepit from the ground floor to a dozen stories up, then morphs into a modern steel-and-glass construct with a narrow landing platform extending an easy 300 metres high over the road. Patrons have to crane their heads back quite far to see it, though, and they are often more interested in stepping through the scratched but sturdy double doors which may be flanked by clients, bouncers, drunks, and duct-taped living warnings.
Seven shallow steps lead down onto the carefully dilapidated hardwood main bar floor, though "bar" might not be the right word anymore. Mismatched tables and chairs litter the room, while more comfortable niches with couches and two smaller sidebars occupy most of the walls. On the left side, an extending stage with a pole leaves no doubt about the kind of entertainment provided here, while on the right, a discreet exit leads to rooms best suited for negotiations or private parties.
Straight ahead, between the wings of a formerly grand foyer staircase mostly frequented by pretty people with little clothing, resides the curved main counter as an island, with the dark niches in between leading to the back - but one cannot shake the feeling that entry comes with a price that might not be paid fully by coin. The staff are unerringly smiling people with hard eyes, much like the owner, the Chyron’s Chancellor, Jorm Na'trej. This bar, this whole building, is their domain, their trap and their hunting range.
One instantly realises that any wish, any pleasure and desire, is just a word and a payment away.
One knows that this place is the antithesis to every value taught and preached among normal people.
One is greeted.
"Welcome to the Playground."
While it's not unusual for people to expand the venue by adding to it in description and such, I was a bit taken aback at first by mention of a cage ring being entered, since I didn't read about it in the description above. It also got a bit repetitive reading "his opponent, his opponent" over and over again, so I'd suggested mixing it up with Itzo's name and other phrases.
I'd suggest generally taking some time to look over your writing and give it a self-proof, or even better grab a buddy -- just ask in chat! -- to proof for you and help catch some of the minor Syntax errors throughout your post. Missing apostrophes in contractions and for possessives, a few run on sentences and fragments, etc. One such example:
You'd want a period at, "breath" rather than the comma.
The first is a fragment, needing a subject for those verbs.
There's also small things to get used to in the Star Wars universe, like that lightsaber is always one word. But overall, you're doing well jumping right into the action of writing conflict between the opponents and weaving some story basis in.