HAC-71 BATCH-03 MOSEL-21 ‘Hac’ vs. Ellac Conrat

HAC-71 BATCH-03 MOSEL-21 ‘Hac’

Equite 1, Equite tier, The Collective
Male Chiss, Force Disciple, Marauder
vs.

Ellac Conrat, Battlemaster

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Scholae Palatinae
Male Human, Sith, Juggernaut, Imperial
Hall Duelist Hall
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants HAC-71 BATCH-03 MOSEL-21 ‘Hac’ , Ellac Conrat
Winner Ellac Conrat
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
HAC-71 BATCH-03 MOSEL-21 ‘Hac’'s Character Snapshot Snapshot
Ellac Conrat's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Jedha: Cadera Ruins
Last Post 1 October, 2026 3:12 AM UTC
Judge #1: Azler
  HAC-71 BATCH-03 MOSEL-21 ‘Hac’ Ellac Conrat
Syntax - 15% 3 4
Story - 40% 4 5
Realism - 30% 5 5
Creativity - 15% 5 4
Total 4.3 4.7
Overall, great story by both participants! As a firm believer in the ACC's spot as a place to get better at writing, here comes a breakdown: I noticed a few syntax errors on both sides, but Ellac had fewer. Simply gotta be sure to reread your work more carefully if you can, as I'm certain that different words were meant to be used - Eeno in particular, your first post had one sentence that I'm pretty sure was meant to be something else ('Hac defended into the cavern') and the post ended incompletely. The story overall was interesting with curious quirks brought up on both sides, though I do give a slight edge to Ellac, and I didn't find any serious fault with the realism from either side. With creativity, I think both did well here too, but in particular, Eeno's bringing up of asphyxiation was a good third element to mention. Overall, a close match and you both should be proud!
Judge #2: Ben
  HAC-71 BATCH-03 MOSEL-21 ‘Hac’ Ellac Conrat
Syntax - 15% 3 4
Story - 40% 2 4
Realism - 30% 5 5
Creativity - 15% 4 4
Total 3.35 4.3
Great work to both combatants on this match. It was fun to read and interesting to judge. I scored both equally in creativity and realism. I did t notice any major realism issues and thought both gave a fair effort in the creativity of their posts. In Syntax, neither were perfect, but Eeno had a few more issues in their posts, primarily incorrect word usage. Probably a mistake that wasn't caught when reviewing, but it happens. As for Story, overall I enjoyed the battle.beyween the two characters. I especially enjoyed the ending, and the descriptiveness of both combatants. However, in the first post there was no combat. There was no conflict. Aside from the brief mention of a mission there was no reason for either individual to be there. Perhaps this was because of the shortness of the post, but it served as a missed opportunity to me and resulted in a lower Story Score. With that I thank both members for their efforts here and hope to see more from both of them. I chose Ellac as the winner of this match.
Judge #3: Blackhawk
  HAC-71 BATCH-03 MOSEL-21 ‘Hac’ Ellac Conrat
Syntax - 15% 3 4
Story - 40% 5 5
Realism - 30% 3 5
Creativity - 15% 5 5
Total 4.1 4.85
You two provided a fun battle to read. Eeno, I highly recommend getting a proofreader. I used to make a lot of the syntax errors you did in this match. Having an extra set of eyes on a post will eliminate most syntax errors. Additionally, Telekinesis generally requires a hand movement of some type to actually make things happen. With only one limb, you generally aren't going to be swinging a lightsaber and firing off telekinetic strikes at the same time. Skill comes with time. Don't let this discourage you from writing in the future. You wrote a good story.I look forward to reading more of what you come up with.
Totals
HAC-71 BATCH-03 MOSEL-21 ‘Hac’ 3.92
Ellac Conrat 4.62
Posts

header

In the distant past, the Catacombs of Cadera were a series of ancient structures located beneath the surface of the sacred moon of Jedha. Hidden within was a monastery, serving as a burial ground for an Order of NiJedha Monks. In the wake of tbe Death Star's attack, however, the moon's surface was sundered, all but annihilating the Catacombs and the monastery hidden within.

You have fallen into darkness. Deep below Jedha's devastated surface, you find yourself lost within the remnants of the Catacombs—only ruins now remain. As your eyes adjust, you realize only a few shafts of hazy, pale green light are all you have to see by. Every step, every breath you take echoes off of the cavern-like walls. You run a hand over a hand over one of the pillars adorning the ruins and feel the carved stone flake at your touch. That they still hold the ceiling in place above your head is a miracle.

You must tread cautiously. Taking careful steps forward, you feel the sickening crunch of skeletal remains beneath your feet. The hollow sound of shattering bones rings throughout the catacombs. Announcing your presence to whoever or whatever may reside here. The air is fetid and clouded with dust you stir up with every movement.

As you wander you realize these ruins are labyrinthine—a tangled maze of broken and collapsed tunnels crisscrossing haphazardly leading to who knows where. Each path you take is fraught with hazards or dead ends. From deep within the darkness, you begin to hear whispers—a constant buzzing in the back of your mind that quickly puts you on edge. The spirits of the dead slumber restlessly here. You must escape this place, but, before you can begin to search for an exit, you hear footsteps methodically moving toward you.

Tread lightly in the Ruins of Cadera... for you are not alone.

Hac reached an opening to the catacombs. He had traced his quarry, Ellac Conrat, to this location. What the cybernetic force user was doing in the ruins was far beyond Hac’s understanding, but it was not for him to understand. All that is for him to do is the mission. Hac defended into the cavern and his eyes adjusted quickly to the darker light as he began to search for the Sith.

As Hac explored the caverns it was initially quiet other than a periodic drip of water from the ceiling and the landscape was barren but of rubble. Then, he tapped into the force. It all came at him at once, ghostly forms of people of all varieties of species dying, then returning and dying again. He focused on one group and it was a group of stormtroopers. Blaster fire seemed to come from nowhere and kill them all. Another, two humans, a male and a female, sitting at a table having a meal then flying debris ripped them apart. Another group was running but it was futile as from above what looked to be a laser came down and disintegrated them. Time and again they all and many more appeared and died. The mission Hac thought, pulling himself back into the moment, I must complete the mission.

In the dark of the tombs, Ellac Conrat walked. Where he was going he may not even know, but something was drawing him. Almost a voice. He heard many voices; laughter, dying screams, the rumble of battle, the cry of a child to a parent that would never come, but one was both clearer and less precise. Unlike the others he could tell where this almost voice was coming from but it was also indistinct. As if it was trying to form words but not able to. I’m

Quaestor Blackhawk, 1 October, 2026 8:16 PM UTC

"but it was not for him to understand. All that is for him to do is the mission. Hac defended into the cavern and his eyes adjusted quickly to the darker light" Try not to switch tenses (was to is). Also, "defended" should be "descended". Additionally, this is a bit of a run on sentence. The "and" could have been a period, with capitalization adjusted as appropriate.

"As Hac explored the caverns it was initially quiet other than a periodic drip of water from the ceiling and the landscape was barren but of rubble" Missing commas between "cavern" and "it" as well as between "quiet" and "other". This is also a run on. The and could have been a period.

"he could tell where this almost voice was coming from "

A comma on either side of this would have made the sentence flow better

The post ends with a floating "I'm"

Hac shifted his rifle behind him as he squeezed between a narrow gap in the wall, sand raining down from the cracks in the stones above him as he pushed his armored body through.

Emerging on the other side, Hac adjusted his breastplate as he looked around the nearly lightless room, illuminated only by the pale blue haze of the ghastly figures that crept around it. Unclipping his hilts from his belt, he stepped forward, causing the spectres’ to slowly look toward him, their lazy shuffling halting in the presence of a living soul. The Chiss’ red eyes narrowed at the spirits, studying their vacant expressions. After a moment of bated breath, Hac took another step, his thumbs falling to the ignition switch of his weapons, but the ghosts simply continued to watch, making no other movements as their cold eyes followed him. Relaxing his shoulders, Hac walked through the haunt, turning his attention back to his assignment as he ventured further in.

The hallways wound like the tunnels of a Vexis, intersecting and, in some places, circling back to where the path began, a fact that Hac had deduced had entrapped several unfortunate souls given the amount of fresher skeletons that lay scattered throughout the tomb. Stepping over what was left of one such ill-fated adventurer, the hair on the blue skin of Hac’s neck stood tall as he widened his stance, squinting to make out the shapes of a small cast of Hardshells huddled over a pile of bones. Large, protruding blue eyes turned to meet their attacker, snapping their claws in warning at the Chiss as they approached him. Moving to ready his blades, Hac paused, considering that the sound of his lightsabers might tip off the Sith. Counting up his targets, Hac extended his hands, lifting the Hardshells into the air with the Force. Pushing his hands toward each other, the animals followed the motion, chittering in fear as their chitinous bodies pressed together, crushing into a single crunching mass of death and blood before Hac let them drop to the ground.

Still holding his hands out in front of him, Hac froze as he stared at the ball of bodies before him; Something about the sensation of crushing them made him feel… interesting… powerful even... ‘The mission,’ he thought again. ‘I must complete the mission.’ Standing back to full height, Hac turned his mind back to Ellac, sensing the Sith’s presence deeper still within the catacombs. Closing his eyes, Hac focused on his own Force signature, concealing his presence before his eyes opened again, stepping past his kill as he resumed his hunt.


“Anything?” Ellac raised a metal hand to the ear of his helmet as he carefully stepped over a pile of collapsed stone, the servos in his cybernetic limbs whining softly against the ancient corridors.

“Answer: Nothing yet, Master,” HK-98’s voice responded in his ear. “...I am beginning to think the item you’re looking for isn’t here.”

Kneeling to the ground, Ellac lifted a partial skull from the rubble at his feet, holding it up in the darkness. Peering into the eyeless sockets that mirrored his own, Ellac frowned as the bone crumbled to dust in his hand. “It’s here; I can feel it… Keep looking.”

Continuing deeper into the cavernous ruins, the Sith reached out with the Force, sifting through the echoes of the dead’s undying voices until he heard again the call that had drawn him here. The voice was dull, unintelligible, yet unmistakably present, like a word spoken in a dream; Strangest of all, the voice seemed almost familiar… but who had he known, here on this desecrated moon?

Ducking under a half-fallen pillar, Ellac felt the air grow slightly cooler as he stepped into a much larger room than the hallways he had been in thus far. Although the room was pitch-black, Ellac was no stranger to a world of darkness, having grown used to relying on the Force to feel out his surroundings now that his eyes were no longer there to guide him; It wasn’t quite the ‘seeing’ that he had heard was possible through the Force, but it was enough to get him around without stubbing a metal toe on a chair. The room was littered with debris as well as various crates and terminals that were hardly distinguishable from the stone after the years of decay that had claimed these ruins. On the far side of the room, sand mounded up through a hole in the wall that Ellac gathered had probably been a window before the catacombs were buried. Assuming it was just another dead end, the Sith turned to go back the way he came when he felt the call again.

The presence pulsed in the Force from below the dune, drawing on the spirits of the dead as it summoned them in fading waves; Looking back, Ellac watched as humanoid wisps appeared for sporadic moments around the buried window, muttering under their breath the words that clung to their tongues in whatever collective language they all seemed to be speaking before disappearing again.

Reaching up to his ear again slowly for fear of scaring them off, Ellac manually increased the volume on his helmet’s audio receptors to try to make sense of the undead murmurs, but a completely different sound caught his attention. Spinning on his heel to face the approaching footsteps, the spectres vanished as Ellac held a metal hand out to his side, summoning his lightsaber as its twin blades howled to life in his grasp. “HK, we’re not alone down here…”

“Query: Are you certain, Master? I find it hard to believe that someone else would be crazy enough to deliberately explore these ruins,” HK-98’s metallic voice came over the communicator.

Ellac’s hairless brows furrowed as he reached through the Force, unable to sense the source of the footsteps. “There is someone else down here, but I can’t sense them...”

A short pause preceded the droid’s response. “Statement: Uh… It’s not that I don’t believe you, Master. It’s just that…,” HK paused again, considering his words. “I know how you organics get around ancient, buried graveyards…”

Ellac ignored his droid, listening to the steps move closer before suddenly stopping just outside the room. A brief moment of passed and the catacombs fell deathly silent, save for the growling hum of the Sith’s lightsaber. A moment longer, and then the still boots shifted, grinding in the dust as the mysterious figure ducked under the pillar, stepping into the darkness now bathed in the crimson light of Ellac’s double-blade.

“That’s far enough,” Ellac said, glaring towards the stranger in the darkness. “Who are you?”

The telling snap-hiss of a pair of lightsabers was the only response to the cyborg’s question as Hac widened his stance. Turning his mind to the battle ahead, the Chiss let his concealment fall, unmasking his presence in the Force.

Ellac narrowed his eyeless socket at his opponent as he recognized his foe. “Eeno?” he asked. ‘No,’ He corrected himself. ‘Eeno’s presence was different… And I didn’t have any trouble sensing him before.’

“I’m not Eeno,” Hac said plainly before lunging at Ellac with an overhead strike.

Spinning on the balls of his feet, Ellac sidestepped the attack, swinging one end of his blade toward Hac’s head, then twisting the hilt in his hand to bring the other end around.

Hac stepped closer, using his defensive form to block then parry the Sith’s attacks, driving his shoulder into Ellac’s chest, staggering him. Extending a hand, Hac reached out through the Force, attempting to exert his control over Ellac’s body, but the power failed to affect him.

“Nice try.” Regaining his footing, Ellac extended his own hand, using the Force to constrict the Chiss’ airway as he forced Hac to his knees. “Now, you can either tell me who you are or I can pull the answers out of your lifeless body; Your choice.”

Choking against the unseen grasp on his throat, Hac steeled himself, channeling the Force through his whole body in a surge that broke Ellac’s grip on him. Ellac’s arm jerked back as if it had been pushed away as Hac took a quick breath before thrusting his hands forward, throwing Ellac back with a mighty push. The Juggernaut slammed into the carved stone wall that trembled with the impact, shaking the whole ruin as whole chunks of rocks and sand showered from the ceiling, collapsing the pillar that had served as their entrance to the now sealed room.

Coughing for air as they struggled back to their feet, the two opponents warily peered up at the ancient walls that threatened to bury them here forever.

Hac swung his lightsaber at Ellac, who blocked it with relative ease. Ellac attacked and Hac dropped into soresu, blocking the strikes but being unable to counter them.

The two fought and Hac had a stray thought come into his mind, where did I learn to do this? His mind seemed to respond with, complete the mission.

Being pulled back from introspection just in time, Hac blocked a strike that got dangerously close to his heart. Ellac then let up a little on his offense but only gave Hac enough time to move into his vapaad stance, a slightly less balanced stance, before sending a telekinetic shove that sent Hac of his feet.

Hac landed in a roll and not being mindful of where his lightsabers were swinging brought down another pillar. He quickly jumped to get out of the way of the new barrage of falling rocks and as he landed Ellac sent another attack. Being completely unprepared Hac missed the Sith’s lightsaber while trying to block and the blade connected with his left arm. Hac cried out in pain as the limb was dashed off and he landed hard against the wall.

As the pain began to subside Hac blocked a few more strikes. Again, he stole a moment to wonder where he had learned to control his body like that and again his mind sent a message to him, the mission.

Returning to his original determination, Hac defended himself until he found an opening. This time he steeled himself for a blast as he dropped into his aggressive form, when the push did not come, he went on the offensive.

While harder with only one blade, it was quite simple to keep track of Ellac’s two sabers and try to strike at the openings inherent in combat with a double-bladed lightsaber. Hac sent a flurry of attacks that Ellac initially blocked with ease but as Hac’s combat became a blur, increasing in speed as the battle hastened, the Sith started to rely on his precognitive abilities.

Ellac tried to keep up but was finding it hard, even with the aid of The Force. Seeing no other option, the Sith dropped into a raging frenzy, increasing his own speed to match the clone.

The two became locked into a deadly dance. One false move could spell both of their dooms.

Hac sent a strike that staggered Ellac, and took advantage of the opening, sending a telekinetic strike at him. While the juggernaut was almost unaffected by the strike, his momentary lapse in concentration allowed Hac to bat the lightsaber out of his hand and send another telekinetic strike. The second strike landed and the Sith was pushed back into the wall. Ellac reached out to pull his lightsaber back to him but could sense it was too late.

Then, nothing. His lightsaber did not return to his hand, but he also did not feel the sting of a blade touching him. Ellac did not feel dead, as far as he knew how death felt and he was fairly sure he knew. He realized his concentration in sensing the world around him had been broken and his mind flooded with the almost image of the world around him. He felt that his lightsaber had become lodged under a large boulder first, then felt the Chiss standing above him. The man had his arm outstretched and his lightsaber hovering millimeters above Ellac’s face but did not move.

Hac at the same time had no idea why he stopped and fully understood. His mind was screaming at him to finish his objective, but another part of his mind, his pilot’s mind, was telling him that he was going to die of asphyxiation very soon. His hand began to shake and with an immense force of will he deactivated the lightsaber and took a step back.

Quaestor Blackhawk, 1 October, 2026 8:56 PM UTC

"and not being mindful of where his lightsabers were swinging" Comma on either side of this clause

"and as he landed" the "and" could have been a comma

"Hac sent a strike that staggered Ellac, and took advantage of the opening, sending a telekinetic strike at him"

How? One hand is occupied with a lightsaber, and the other is no longer attached to Hac's body.

"allowed Hac to bat the lightsaber out of his hand and send another telekinetic strike"

"Hac at the same time had no idea why he stopped and fully understood.

Commas around "at the same time".

Again, how?

Stumbling back, Hac clutched his head. “I can’t-...,” he gasped, the dusty air and lack of oxygen finally catching up with him in this deep tomb.

Ellac pushed off from the wall, silently advancing toward the clone.

“No, stay back!” The Chiss waved his hilt at the enraged Sith who ripped it from his grasp with the Force. “No!”

Tossing Hac’s saber aside, Ellac seized his outstretched hand, pulling him in with an iron grip. A metal fist collided with his helmet, rattling Hac’s teeth; Pulling him back in, Ellac swung again, sending his opponent to the floor. Hac’s head bounced off the stone as he fell, his sense of pain rushing back to him as his control over his body broke. Stepping over him, Ellac yanked the clone up by the edge of his breastplate, beating his fist into his face over and over again until the plastoid helmet shattered to pieces.

A pair of red eyes, pained and terrified, stared up at his attacker through the broken shell of his visor. Too exhausted to defend himself, Hac placed a trembling hand on the one that held him, causing the Sith to pause. “The… mission…,” he coughed.

His arm wound back, ready for another swing, Ellac glowered down at the bloodied Hac; This fight was over. He could already feel the adrenaline subsiding, ushering in the deep aches that tend to come from pushing his body so hard. Unclenching his fist, Ellac placed it over the hand that desperately clung to him.

The fight was over… but Ellac had not yet won.

Extending the vibroclaws built into his cybernetic hands, the Sith dug them into Hac’s wrist, piercing all the way down to the bone. Blood poured from the clone’s arm, screaming as he instinctively tried to pull away, only making the wounds deeper. Drawing on the Dark Side of the Force, Ellac began leeching the life out of his victim as he wrestled in vain to break free from the Juggernaut’s grasp.

Hac’s screams quickly faded to weary groans, until finally he had fallen silent and his thrashing had reduced to brief spasms. His blue skin paled and bright red eyes now a hazy pink, the Chiss stared blankly up at the skeletal mask above him, his mind hollow as his very soul ebbed from his body; And with one final, shallow breath, he was gone.

Dropping the husk with an empty thud, Ellac rose to his feet, rolling his shoulders as the aches receded from his muscles. Looking around the room, now even more of a ruin than when he first arrived, he turned his mind back to the call that sang from beneath the sand. Extending a hand, the rubble shook as he summoned his prize out of the dune; A small, orange cube, inlaid with symmetrical angles on every side, flew into his grasp. The object pulsed in his hand, the wisps returning as they danced in flashes around the Sith. “HK,” he said, activating his comlink. “I found it.”

Pocketing the Holocron, Ellac turned back to where the room’s entrance used to be, suddenly remembering that the path had been blocked. Kicking away the stones that had trapped his lightsaber, he retrieved his weapon as he moved to the door. Raising both hands to his sides, Ellac blasted the crumbled stone from the entrance, causing the whole room to shake as pieces of the ceiling began to fall. Striding back into the corridor that brought him there, Ellac looked back at Hac’s lifeless body just in time to see the ruins claim it as one of its own.