DJK Decimo Inferni vs. JK Rhiann Baenre

Dark Jedi Knight Decimo Inferni

Journeyman, Clan Taldryan
Male Human, Obelisk, Marauder
vs.

Jedi Knight Rhiann Baenre

Journeyman, Clan Odan-Urr
Female Sephi, Guardian, Shadow
Comment

Decimo and Rhiann,

Thank you for participating in the ACC Fading Light Tournament. I thought each of you did very well and appreciate your efforts.

Your story flowed fairly well and the writing was clear enough to understand. Both of you struggled with repetition, style, and sentence structure (but not to the point your story failed to translate). The match, for me, was decided in the death posts. I determined that Rhiann's use of the environment and her clothing to gain an advantage was a little more realistic than Decimo's total physical domination.

Rhiann, by a narrow margin.

Thanks for competing.

GM Pravus

Hall Fading Light
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants DJK Decimo Inferni, JK Rhiann Baenre
Winner JK Rhiann Baenre
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
DJK Decimo Inferni's Weapons See Character Sheet (Legacy)
JK Rhiann Baenre's Weapons See Character Sheet (Legacy)
Venue Begeren: Ancient Quarry
Last Post 24 May, 2014 2:50 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Grand Master Declan Roark
Syntax - 15%
Savant Nero Inferni Raider Vivibelle Baenre
Score: 3 Score: 3
Rationale: 1. Sentence structure: When the girl released the rock something in Decimo’s mind, possibly the Force he doesn’t know for sure, caused him to take a step to the side as the rock started to fall to the ground. Rationale: 1. I had a hard time with the sentence structure of: The feeling of the Force was easy enough to follow, Rhiann trying to take the time to the source to calm herself.
Story - 40%
Savant Nero Inferni Raider Vivibelle Baenre
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: Repetitive writing hurts your story. See your first paragraph as an example. Each sentence is written in nearly the same style and broken in half with a comma. Try to change it up! Rationale: 1. Some of the writing becomes repetitive: Adjusting her cloak upon making it to the bottom, the woman closed her eyes and concentrated, trying to find a more concentrated spot of dark power (ps, i have the same problem with word repeats). 2. Same thing, tricky wording and hard to ascertain meaning: Being at his other side now, the man swung the lightsaber back the other way toward her while untwisting his stance, trying to ignore the pulsing in his shoulder. 3. I thought your story was more entertaining by far. Nice work with the use of the environment, robes, ect.
Realism - 25%
Savant Nero Inferni Raider Vivibelle Baenre
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: I thought your death post struggled with your depiction of total superiority during the in close fight. Essentially, she stabbed you, you suppressed the pain, grabbed her wrist, and then smacked her across the face. You have lightning reflexes, but so does she. She is also a duelist with +3 precognition. Compare and contrast your domination in the physical realm to Rhiann's use of the environment/clothing to gain an advantage in an otherwise equal physical confrontation. Rationale: Not bad. You both possess lightning reflexes, but you benefit from some other exceptionally well crafted aspects and abilities. Your writing of those skills and the combination of your use of the environment was well done.
Continuity - 20%
Savant Nero Inferni Raider Vivibelle Baenre
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues Rationale: No issues.
Savant Nero Inferni's Score: 3.4 Raider Vivibelle Baenre's Score: 4.05
Posts

Begeren. Once a prosperous Sith world, it has been the site of numerous battles throughout the millennia. Grand halls and monuments were torn down and re-purposed by looting Republic forces thousands of years ago, before they were driven from the planet. Isolated settlements still dot the planet's surface, but the inhospitable, craggy, and desert-like terrain, along with the beasts common to many desert and Sith worlds, have kept most humanoids from colonizing. Occasional skirmishes have left debris scattered throughout the desert, and battles were fought here as recently as the Galactic Civil War. The planet is now under the control of the One Sith and is rumored to be full of all manner of priceless, ancient Sith artifacts.

The Dark Council has pushed forth to Begeren and the Grand Master, on his quest for ever more powerful items, has decreed the Clans and Houses seize anything of value. The unity shown by the Brotherhood during the beginning of this Crusade is fracturing, with the Clans and Houses growing tired and frustrated with the seemingly endless succession of battles. Tempers are flaring between former allies, with outright aggression no longer uncommon. Despite this, you have responded to the Grand Master's call—though whether it's to actually seize the items for the Brotherhood, destroy them, or use them for your own purposes, only you know. One such item, a Sith talisman, said to be inlaid with a dark side-infused gemstone, was lost in the quarries of Begeren during the liberation of the planet from Old Republic looters thousands of years ago.

The Force has drawn you here, to an abandoned quarry, in a mountainous region west of an expansive desert. Any mining equipment once used here is long gone, but the landscape itself remains surprisingly preserved from the days of the Old Republic's strip mining. Scrub brush, the only foliage present on this part of the planet, has taken root all along the sides of the quarry. The ledge overlooks a one-hundred meter drop into a crystal-clear basin of water; opposite the ledge is a more gradual, step-wise decline. The basin itself is peculiar, as no plants are growing in or around it, despite being one of the few bodies of liquid you have seen in the nearby area. A long, snaking ramp meanders down through the steps of the quarry towards the water below, beginning at the northward edge of the cliff you now find yourself on. You notice shards of gemstones crunch underfoot as you move, a hint as to the use of this quarry in ages past.

There was an audible grumble emitted by the woman as she trudged along the barren planet, doing her best to not let it get to her. Why they were asked to do such a thing was beyond her, but she had a job to do and couldn’t let these artifacts fall into the wrong hands. The feeling of the Force was easy enough to follow, Rhiann trying to take the time to the source to calm herself. Annoyance was an emotion she still had difficulty with, having to meditate while she walked through the heat.

Her meditative state was soon broken as something in her lightsaber suddenly went haywire, rendering the blade useless. She tried to get it to activate with feverish pushing of the button on the hilt, but eventually gave in and swore-- loudly. It was useless to her at this point. Rhiann’s attention was quickly focused on the sound of crunching under her feet, eyebrows quirking on her forehead as she noticed the gems under her feet. She leaned over to find the water source, a quiet ‘Huh’ heard from slightly parted lips. It’d take her a few minutes, but upon finding the ramp downward into the quarry, the Sephi carefully eased herself down to avoid any loose rocks and make as little sound as possible. There was no way she was the only one around; especially due to what was expected of the Brotherhood as a collective.

Adjusting her cloak upon making it to the bottom, the woman closed her eyes and concentrated, trying to find a more concentrated spot of dark power. It had to be down here somewhere. And much to her expectations of an area like this, it was coming from the pool of water. To her, this almost felt like something out of a book she’d read back in her young adulthood with the predictability element here; it causing her eyes to roll. Set to focus on her job, she unpinned her cloak and tucked it away off to the side where it could stay hidden.

Upon turning back to the water, something seemed off. Slinking back to where she could keep hidden the most within the wall, the woman took a dagger into each hand then concentrated and Force Cloaked herself into invisibility, closing her eyes and letting her ears and the Force do the work. Someone else was here.

Decimo was in fact there for the same reason as her. With a decent speed he descended the ramp toward the pool of water, giving it little thought when it came to wanting to jump in and look for the artifact, but stopped when he thought he heard something from behind him. What he had heard was the woman’s blade tip accidentally brushing against the stone. At first glance there was nothing. Unused to using the Force in his daily life, the man gave it a chance and concentrated. His eyes soon settled upon her, the woman given away by the faint flicker of fear after her eyes opened and theirs locked. Without hesitation, the man took his lightsaber in hand, the glowing blade coming right for Rhiann.

Uncloaking, the Sephi darted out of the way of the saber, again cursing to herself for her own lightsaber misfortune earlier as the man went after her once again with the glowing blade. He didn’t give her any chance to find an opening and attack, an arc of red light sweeping toward her midsection. Forcing herself backward to dodge, Rhiann rolled and got back onto her feet, taking advantage of the momentum to attack. Using her weaker hand to distract, she swiped her left dagger upward toward his face to catch his attention, her right hand’s dagger aimed for what looked to be his main hand. Her hesitation on which hand to attack due to no obvious choice gave Decimo time to dodge, her blade only leaving a shallow cut on the top of his left hand. Even so, the woman looked ready for their weapons to clash once more, waiting on her opponent to prompt the next skirmish.

Decimo stared at the girl in front of him, the crimson beam of his lightsaber providing an eerie glow on his face which was barely visible from underneath the hooded cloak he wore. He grinned wickedly, despite the pain now present in his left hand, and started to move the saber from a right-handed grip to a left-handed one. He slowly and elaborately moved that hand closer to his face, an act the girl followed with her eyes. Decimo was purposely leaving himself open, hoping the girl would take the bait. He moved his right hand very slowly to the grip of the revolver in the holster on his left hip, drawing from underneath the cloak and waited to pull back the hammer.

Rhiann fell for the bait. When Decimo seemed to be wide open she made her move, using the Force to control the muscles in her legs to propel herself forward at a rapid pace. She quickly closed the gap between them, but Decimo didn't move. He just stood there, waiting, until she was almost on top of him. Then he made his move. Raising his right hand up, he pointed his revolver at the girl's head. There was a loud bang as he pulled the trigger, causing the girl to break off her headlong rush and stop moving. The bullet grazed her left cheek leaving a small cut where it passed, causing blood to trickle down her face and drip onto her clothes.

"Payback for my hand, girlie," said Decimo in a low voice. "Now, how about you just drop those knives of yours and sit your ass down over there before I decide to shoot to kill."

Rhiann's grip on the knives slackened for a moment. Had Decimo aimed a few inches to the left she would be lying down in the dirt, a bullet through her pretty little head. However, it was only for a moment before she got her nerve back and tightened her grip. Decimo lowered his left hand from his face, making sure he was ready to strike with his saber if the need arose again. The pair of them stood there, Decimo with one of his revolvers pointed at the girl's head, and Rhiann trying to figure out how to beat the person standing before her and win this fight so she could get the artifact.

There was a moment where the two warriors’ eyes locked, the woman’s flickering with a fiery attitude right before Decimo found himself off balance, having been pushed back with the Force in an instant without a physical cue from his opponent. For Rhiann, this wasn’t just a battle of who would get to this artifact first; it felt more like a battle to survive against this brute.

The man tried to shrug off the momentary pain and stabilized himself as the woman got up close, Rhiann dipping out of the way right as she approached his face. His lightsaber swung to follow her movement, body twisting to keep up with where she was trying to go. Bringing up her right hand, the dagger suddenly sunk into the tightened muscles of his right shoulder as she passed by, the grip on his revolver going lax from the sharp pain. Being at his other side now, the man swung the lightsaber back the other way toward her while untwisting his stance, trying to ignore the pulsing in his shoulder. As if seeing it coming, the woman ducked out of the way of the glowing red blade, popping back up and making her way around him once again.

Grunting, the man was getting annoyed with this woman and her constant proximity. Scrambling to focus on the Force before she made another move, the pain in his shoulder dulled down, Decimo’s lightsaber and body quickly turned to swing at her with full strength. Sensing the blade coming right for her, Rhiann leaned out of the way and brought a dagger up in a futile attempt to stop it, the glowing blade cutting right through the metal and grazing against the area below her chest. He could hear her try to hold back any indication of pain with little success, the ease of his weapon destroying the other causing the man to still go with his body’s momentum and toward the pool of water.

Wasting no time and using his off-put balance against him, Rhiann forced herself through the pain and sent herself at him, angling herself to slam her shoulder into his back. Letting go of his revolver from the impact and the pulsing pain in his shoulder, Decimo’s arm suddenly reached back and grabbed at her wrist, taking her with him as they both plunged into the basin of water. Counting herself lucky, Rhiann’s lightweight clothing and lack of cloak made for easier movement during the underwater struggle. Using it to her advantage, her still functioning second dagger sunk into the top of his left shoulder, a gurgled noise of pain sounding out in bubble form from the man’s mouth. His hand moved from her wrist to try and pry the dagger out, Rhiann taking this advantage to swim to the bottom of the basin and retrieve the artifact pulsing with Force.

Decimo managed to pry the dagger out of his shoulder by the time his opponent started to swim toward the surface, struggling with both shoulder wounds as he took chase. Even with a few extra seconds of painless swimming and sheer determination, the woman was too far ahead. Gasping for air as she surfaced, Rhiann pulled herself out of the water as quickly as she could. With the artifact in one hand and her broken dagger in the other, she took the chance and threw it at him right as he was about to surface. It didn’t matter if it hit or not. While Decimo managed to feel it coming and dodged the incoming object, it proved to be enough distraction and gave the woman enough time to escape and leave the man cursing in the quarry.

Tucking the artifact away somewhere safe, Rhiann wouldn’t stop running until she'd returned safely. Score one for the Jedi.

There was a short pause while each of them waited for the other to make the first move. What Decimo didn't know was that ever since he fired Rhiann was using the Force to pick up a small boulder and move it so that it was above Decimo's head. When the girl released the rock something in Decimo’s mind, possibly the Force he doesn’t know for sure, caused him to take a step to the side as the rock started to fall to the ground. Though, while it didn't wound Decimo like Rhiann wanted to do, the sound of it falling next to him caused Decimo to lose focus and look at the rock. That small window of opportunity was all the girl needed to get out of Decimo’s vision so she could figure out a way to attack him unnoticed. She cloaked herself and then moved behind a rock escaping the Obelisk's wrath, if only for the moment.

Grinning to himself, Decimo deactivated his lightsaber and returned it back to where it belonged, his waist. Pulling out his other revolver he walked to the water's edge, using the Force to sense where the girl was. While Decimo was doing this Rhiann was moving from rock to rock, trying not to be seen as she uncloaked herself the moment she felt she was hidden, in order to get to a position where she could attack Decimo and end the battle in a couple swift moves.

Despite all the effort that Rhiann made in order to keep him from visually noticing him, she seemed to forget that he was a Force user and could sense her presence with the Force itself. While it took him a while, Decimo finally found her, and with a grin he aimed his right revolver at a rock to his right and fired it once. The bullet ricocheted off the rock and hit the ground right next to Rhiann.

"Girl, you might as well get out from behind that rock," he said in a menacing tone.

Rhiann looked at the bullet beside her and didn't move. She was too afraid to as the man she was fighting could have just killed her. Decimo could see the strength of her resolve flourish as she slowly stood up, at first she seemed to be fearful, but as she continued to rise her eyes gleamed with her determination to win. With nothing but her resolve keeping her body moving she took off running at him, using the Force the amplify her speed. With a grin Decimo turned and shot at her with his left revolver. The girl's reflexes kicked in and she dodged the bullet as she came right up to the man. She stabbed his left arm with her right blade and when she did Decimo used the Force to manipulate his brain into ignoring most of the pain. He dropped his revolver and at the same time grabbed her arm and held it. The knife was still in his arm and blood was pouring down it. With his other gun he smacked her hard across the face leaving her in a dazed state. He let her arm go and watched as she fell the ground. Pointing his revolver at her, he fired it twice, both shots entering her shoulders.

"Don't move, I won't hesitate to kill you if you do," he said in a low voice.

Rhiann could feel the pain in her shoulders from the bones that broke when hit by the bullet. Decimo leaned down, and for good measure, put the tip of his gun to her left kneecap and fired. Rhiann screamed out in pain. Grimacing, Decimo picked up his other gun and reholstered both of them. He took off his cloak and started to rip long pieces off of it. With those pieces he first wrapped up his own wounds and then went to take care of her wounds so she wouldn't bleed out and die on him. Rhiann looked at him questioningly.

"I'm not going to have the blood of a girl on my hands. It just isn't how I work," said Decimo.

With her wounds semi-patched, he tied her hands and feet together and then walked back to the water. He set his weapons down in a place where she wouldn't be able to reach them and jumped into the water. After a few moments he returned with the Sith Talisman in hand. He placed it in a pocket and then picked his weapons back up and placed them back where they belonged on his person. Looking at the girl, he knew he should leave her here to die, but he couldn't. He was going to take her back to the fleet, let his leaders figure out what to do with her. With a sigh he took out a com device.

"This is Harbinger Prime, the mission has been accomplished. Send in my evac, and make sure there is a medical bot on board. I have a prisoner," he said into the device.

"Roger that, Harbinger Prime, evac on the way," replied someone on the other end.