Ranger Xantros vs. Battlemaster Lexiconus Qor

Ranger Xantros

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Odan-Urr
Male Duros, Jedi, Shadow, Consular
vs.

Battlemaster Lexiconus Qor

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Scholae Palatinae
Male Quarren, Sith, Techweaver, Krath
Comment

Xantros gets the win here due to Lexiconus being devoid of realism in his posts. You can see my notes describing why.

Lexiconus, I would recommend that you review the notes of the ACC and read other matches. Your posts are interesting and you have the potential to be a very good ACCer, but you need to pay better attention to what your opponent can and can't do, what their aspects are, and a better grasp on things like deus ex machina.

Congratulations, Xantros.

Hall Duelist Hall - Old Container
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Ranger Xantros, Battlemaster Lexiconus Qor
Winner Ranger Xantros
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Ranger Xantros's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Battlemaster Lexiconus Qor's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Hoth: Ice Cave
Last Post 17 January, 2016 3:56 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Adept Xantros Qor Kith
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: You had a few errors, but nothing too bad. Rationale: You had several errors littered throughout the match. Incidental added letters and numbers. See my notes.
Story - 40%
Adept Xantros Qor Kith
Score: 3 Score: 2
Rationale: You did a very good job taking what your opponent gave you and expanding on it. Your ending played very well to your character and was very interesting to see how you would respond to it, in the end. You get docked because of your first post. You had an opportunity to describe your illusion beyond simple exposition, but you didn't take advantage of that opportunity. Rationale: You lacked any kind of conflict in your first post, and while your second post was interesting, it could not make up for the complete lack of any kind of conflict from the first post. That, and having a firecat show up is deus ex machina, which will always dock you.
Realism - 25%
Adept Xantros Qor Kith
Score: 5 Score: 2
Rationale: I saw no issues. You continued to operate with what your opponent gave you, so you don't not get docked realism. Rationale: You had several realism errors throughout this match. You had your opponent using Force Powers they didn't have access to. And you had your opponent leave you there to die, which is completely against his character's aspects. This is what ultimately costs you the match.
Continuity - 20%
Adept Xantros Qor Kith
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: I saw no issues here. Rationale: I saw no issues.
Adept Xantros's Score: 4.05 Qor Kith's Score: 2.75
Posts

Hoth Ice Cave

On the fringes of the Outer Rim territories and famous as the one-time location of the Rebel Alliance, Hoth is a frigid world marred with fissures created from the tidal pull of Hoth’s three moons. Blanketed in a frozen ocean, massive oceanic currents beneath the southern hemisphere are the cause of constant seismic activities that result in a constantly shifting landscape of tunnels and caves.

Buried into the side of a fissure reaching hundreds of meters into the core of the planet is a network of tunnels leading into a cave. Its sole entrance is suspended within the wall of the fissure, requiring one to rappel down the dangerous crevasse and into the tunnels; one small miscalculation could send explorers descending the rest of the unmeasured height deep within the planet’s core.

Insulated under several hundred meters of ice in all directions, the cave is protected against the gale force winds and the intense snowstorms that sweep along the planet’s surface. As a result, the cave is warmer than most of Hoth’s unforgiving cold with melting icicles dangling precariously overhead. In turn, this allows for more life to grow in addition to being a promising habitat for the hulking Wampas that have been trapped this far below the surface. Beginning to thaw, it is obvious that this cave will eventually fall victim to seismic activity to disappear into the sheets of ice that surround it. Illuminating the cave’s interior with a dull blue glow, a luminous form of lichen has taken up residence among the bones of the creatures unfortunate enough to be trapped here.

Caution must be exercised if one is to navigate the slippery slopes of the cave as melted icicles drip onto the cavern’s floor surface. In one corner of the cave, the ocean water has accumulated to form a large pool, providing sustenance to the rare lumni-spice growing within the crystalline complex, never to see the blue-white sun.

Hoth Ice Cave

Silence and a warm air graced the smooth alcoves of the Hoth ice cave, while two Force Users of another kind traveled closer by the second. An incandescent aura surrounded the corner pool where echoes of drippings broke the silence. On a shelf at the rear of this cistern of life sat the Quarren Sith, his eyes peacefully closed while his breathing slowed to almost nothing. Lexiconus controlled his body to ignore the passion and hatred he consumed from the troubles on Judecca and simply sat himself in the bio-luminescent waters, content with his life. The peace was what he treasured, a peace isolated from humanoid contact and the conflict it always lingered with. The Quarren found the planet of Hoth to be the excellent place where he can console and reflect where his life will carry him and whether it was truly worth it being in the Brotherhood. Qor often demonstrated his lack of trust to his so-called superiors, but this new gang were different from the stewards of Naga Sadow. They were able to serve regardless of the location, stood for honour, faith and trust and demanded only what a member gave. The Quarren wondered whether the legacy of Palpatine stretched further than the Cocytus System, but the soft patter of feet and a sense of the Light Side proved Qor this would be the truth.

From a nearby tunnel a light grew as an elderly Duros limped through the slippery tunnel, as a heavy bovine creature shortly followed chewing on some foreign wheat. His ruby eyes darted across the room to see an absence of life, except when he saw the Sith resting in the pool corner. His open hand came into view as he stretched it outwards in a surrendering pose.

“I don’t want any trouble, i’m just here for the crystal.” Xantros said calmly, while the bovine didn’t seem phased. Lexic neither moved nor expressed any emotion while he listened.

“Then don’t bring any, the crystal is in the skull. It is yours.” With his eyes still closed, Qor whispered softly across the icy tomb. Xantros was confused at first, this was the first passive Sith he had seen in a long time or possibly ever. The Duros used the Light Side to filter the air around Qor in order to confirm his information, he did indeed feel the Dark Side and the Sith Code in the Quarren.

“You’re not like other Sith, are you?” Xantros walked forward to the corpse of the long-dead beast and reached inside the jaw for the crystal as he spoke calmly.

“I may use the Sith as my doctrine in knowledge, but I am a Quarren born and raised. The sea is my love, not the Dark Side.” Xantros heard a smile through the voice of Qor and it posed another series of questions for the Jedi. Why would an icon of destruction and hatred go out of his way to love something? Did he have an end game here, or was he genuinely peaceful? The Duros elderly approached the pool and gently tiptoed into the cold waters, adventuring deeper until it was waist high and gazed into the calm expression of the Quarren. His body froze as the Force warned Xantros of an incoming danger, his gaze quickly shot up. An ice missile darted directly towards him leaving no room to evade in deep waters. The Jedi instinctively cross guarded his face and slammed his eyes shut in brace. Few dreadful seconds paced by as silence and a soft hum filled his ears, slowly reopening his ruby eyes Xantros saw the frozen dagger floating above his head and circling on it’s pitch. Xantros saw Qor’s arm outstretched as the Dark Side flowed and grasped the icicle, then he speared it into the ground nearby and went back into meditation.

“Why would you save my life? I haven’t earned it.” The Duros questioned the Quarren who let out an alluring aura throughout their ordeal.

“I didn’t save your life, the algae cannot take the stress of falling obstacles.” Qor was quickly cut short as another icicle shot down towards the bovine creature, which he caught just in time and tossed out where a gap appeared in the ceiling. “This isn’t a safe place for us, maybe we should find our way out of here?” The Quarren said as he opened his cerulean eyes and carefully stood from the calm waters. The Duros agreed and assisted Qor down from the water’s platform as they rejoined the bovine. It seemed rumbles from under the crust were becoming more violent, the Quarren understood this and knew if they didn’t exit soon, they would never leave Hoth.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 20 January, 2016 7:15 PM UTC

"...i’m just here for the crystal.”

  • Capitalize "I'm
Adept Alaris Jinn, 20 January, 2016 7:22 PM UTC

"...he did indeed feel the Dark Side and the Sith Code in the Quarren."

  • You know your character better than I do, but I found nothing in your character sheet about seeking peace, and the first line of the Sith Code is "Peace is a lie." This was rather confusing for me. Even continuing to read this, I grew more confused.
Adept Alaris Jinn, 20 January, 2016 7:23 PM UTC

My confusion continued as I found no conflict in this opening post whatsoever. Actual combat in the ACC isn't necessary to good storytelling, but you are avoiding conflict between the characters which is the fundamental aspect of the ACC.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 20 January, 2016 7:24 PM UTC

"...circling on it’s pitch."

  • Possessive does not use an apostrophe.
Adept Alaris Jinn, 20 January, 2016 7:24 PM UTC

"...feel the Dark Side and the Sith Code in the Quarren."

  • Dark side shouldn't be capitalized.

It was a bit surprising to meet a non-violent Sith on his way for a very rare and interesting kind of a crystal, which could have been found only in caves of Hoth. The fact that the follower of the dark side saved his life, even though claiming that it was just a side effect of Quarren's actions aimed to protect the pool, one of very few places on Hoth, where life flourished, was even more disturbing. Though Xantros believed in redemption, as he went his own way from the Darkness to the Light, and was ready to admit that Lexiconus Qor was on his way to defying from the teachings of the dark side, in order to accept the ways of the light side, he knew the identity of his surprising companion. The Quarren was the Aedile of House Imperium, which was a unit in the Duro's former home, Clan Scholae Palatinae.

Xantros continued to ponder about possible development of events and a probable outcome of the situation, which they were in, for few minutes, as the Force users moved farther away from the basin, which was a dangerous place. Finally, rumbles became less loud. It seemed that they were relatively safe. The Duro turned right, so that he could look at the face of the Quarren and thank him for his help, but there was no time for any words, as he noticed that Qor had just activated his lightsaber and the deadly sound buzzed in the air. Few seconds later, a single lightning bolt was directed from the Aedile's hand towards the Duro. Luckily for him, Xantros managed to slightly increase his speed and run away from the place, where the lightning struck and left a small crater in the snow and ice, which covered the ground in the cave.

"I do not want to fight you," spoke the Duro. "If we cooperate, both of us may leave Hoth alive and return to our Clans."

"It will be enough, if I managed to return alive to my Clan," replied Lexiconus. "Your death here will be seen as my merit and will make my position in Scholae Palatinae even stronger."

"What will be your defeat seen as?" asked Xantros, while concentrating on the mind of his enemy.

"I will not lose this fight!" shouted the Quarren. "You know, who I am, but I also know your identity. I know that you have betrayed Clan Scholae Palatinae, in order to join pathetic Jedi. I have been told that you no longer fight, as it is in the contrary to your quest. How do you want to win?"

"There are various ways to fight or to avoid a fight," replied the Ranger and triggered the illusion, which he had created. It made Qor see and hear the Consul of Clan Scholae Palatinae telling him that he failed at the events on Hoth and was going to be stripped of his position and rank. It took the Quarren few long moments to shake the illusion off, but when he manage to do it, there was no sign of his enemy nearby.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 20 January, 2016 7:29 PM UTC

"There are various ways to fight or to avoid a fight," replied the Ranger and triggered the illusion, which he had created. It made Qor see and hear the Consul of Clan Scholae Palatinae telling him that he failed at the events on Hoth and was going to be stripped of his position and rank. It took the Quarren few long moments to shake the illusion off, but when he manage to do it, there was no sign of his enemy nearby.

  • Don't tell me what happened. Show me. Describe it to me as opposed to just leaving me with exposition. That would have been more interesting.

With his silver blade gripped tightly, Qor scanned the bottled tunnel ahead for any signs of the Duros, his temper beginning to fuel the power of the Dark Side. Betrayal was something the Quarren could handle, but defeat is something he would never accept even in the afterlife. Qor understood his eyes could deceive him, so relying on sight alone was not a technique. The Quarren developed a cold smirk that could be colder than Hoth itself; as he knew the Dark Side was expendable here.

“I can see more without my eyes, Duros. Surrender and you may see Xen’Mordin once more.” Qor played on Xantros’ feelings towards his past, as he clearly knew the relationship between the former Aedile and the Consul were strong. Then a shimmer in an alcove gave the Duros away, as his whisper spoke out.

“Odan-Urr is on mutual terms with your Clan, so I see him regularly.” Xantros felt the sting of ice at his fingertips, but the Light Side continued to warm his blood as long as he concentrated. The swift glow of silver rushed around the edge of the ice and plummeted into the shoulder of the Duros, who shrieked out in agony and fright. His bloodshot eyes stared into the uncaring demeanor of the Quarren, who seemed to enjoy slowly spinning and yanking the blade around inside the cauterising flesh.

“My senses were yours, but the Dark Side will always be mine. Where’s the crystal?” Qor roared out as he hissed, his slimy tentacle caressing Xantros’ icy cheeks. As his fears began to feed into his subconscious, the Duros reached up with his good hand and surrendered the transparent crystal from his shaking palm. The Quarren snatched it quickly and deactivated his lightsaber, walking back into the light of the ice. While the rumbles vibrated the floor below their feet, Xantros got a rush of warmth across his face and down his body. A clear sign something dangerous was about to come, yet Qor had his back to this heat the whole time. As the cogs and wheels turned in his head, the Duros placed a hand onto his burnt shoulder and concentrated to mend the damage.

“You know, that crystal will not work without a focusing crystal of the same minerals.” Xantros bluffed his knowledge in the hopes of outwitting the Quarren, who seemed unphased by his small talk.

“And you so happen to have these focusing crystals in your ship, hmm?” Qor replied, as he studied the opacity of the glass further. “No, infact they’re located underneath these icy tunnels. You just need to dig a few centimeters to find them.” The Quarren wasted no time, he got down onto his knees, activated the silver blade and began to carve the ice apart into blocks. The Duros carefully removed his bloodied hand to check his wound, which appeared to stop bleeding. This was all the encouragement he could muster, and Xantros forced himself onto his shaky feet. Stretching his arm out and pushing his influence inside Qor’s mind, the Jedi got to work.

While the Quarren hacked and sliced his way through the melting ice, tugging blocks and shapes of various sizes out, he heard a soft roar from behind. Qor quickly turned his head to gaze down the tunnel in curiosity, as he heard a slightly louder roar. “Xantros! What is this?” The Quarren shouted out, but he heard no reply. Darting his gaze around the tunnel, Qor could obviously notice if Xantros made a run for it. But he0 would of at least heard the limping elderly Duros leave. A much louder and ferocious roar bellowed from the base of the tunnel, which lead the Quarren to jump into the hole and smack his head on the permafrost.

Stumbling and scrambling to his feet, Qor shakingly peered over the icy lip and glared down the tunnel as his palms sweated. A nervous swallow struggled to go down, while a whip of a fiery heat cut across the tunnel ahead. Surprised and scared for his life, the Quarren shrieked like a youngling and cowered into the trench. But the call to check for the threat called to him once more, as a sun-shining orange burst directly over his hole. Qor gripped onto his lightsaber very tightly as it shook in his sweaty palms, slowly ascending to the lip of the ice to gaze at his impending doom.

“Hello?” It was what Qor tried to say, but only a high pitched whimper left his lips, as he bit his cut and bleeding lip continuously. The walls of the tunnel were still the same deep blue they have been, but the ceiling slithered with tails of scorching flames that hissed and whipped towards the Quarren. Attempting to brave this torturous ordeal, Qor raised onto his weakened feet and darted his eyes everywhere, he wanted to know where that roar was. He then sensed it before he felt it, a large lifeforce was directly behind him, pulsating with dominance and confidently looming over him.

The Quarren dared not to look behind, but the low and foeboding purr from the beastal lifeform commanded his attention. With a great deal of care and obedience, Qor turned on the spot to face a large feline beast glaring directly into his eyes. The mane of the creature irradiated with a scorching glow that scarred the Quarren’s skin. With fangs the size of his arm and a gaping mouth hanging open in aggression, Qor stood like stone as he awaited for the judgement. Crouching slowly down and launching itself into the air, the beast kicked it’s front paws out and delivered a mighty roar that cracked and broke the icy tunnels. Glaring back at the Quarren, the maw of the fiery creature dropped over him and imprisoned Qor inside the beast.

Watching on with a sense of despair and somewhat relief, Xantros placed the crystal back into his pocket. He took one final look at Qor who seemed to twitch and scream out in Quarrenese, then ascended back up the tunnel.

“I’m sorry it had to end this way. But you gave me no choice.” The Duros whispered to himself as he held a hand against his heavy heart. With a whistle, he called his bovine, who trotted past the Quarren, unphased by the seizure-like twitching and left with his master.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 20 January, 2016 7:34 PM UTC

" Xantros felt the sting of ice at his fingertips, but the Light Side continued to warm his blood as long as he concentrated."

  • What Force power is this supposed to be? There's nothing on his character sheet that would indicate this possible. Control Pain could work, but he doesn't have it on his CS.
Adept Alaris Jinn, 20 January, 2016 7:37 PM UTC

"...foeboding..."

  • foreboding?
Adept Alaris Jinn, 20 January, 2016 7:47 PM UTC

"...But he0 would of at least heard..."

  • But he would have at least heard...
Adept Alaris Jinn, 20 January, 2016 7:48 PM UTC

"...a scorching glow that scarred the Quarren’s skin..."

  • If it's in illusion, it wouldn't have had this effect.
Adept Alaris Jinn, 20 January, 2016 7:54 PM UTC

As I read further, I became further confused as to whether the Giant Firecat was an illusion or not. Your opponent clearly went with "not an illusion." But if that's the case, this costs you more realism, because Deus Ex Machina is prohibited from ACC Matches.

Xantros moved slowly through the ice corridors of the cave, focusing his attention on healing his wounded arm. Fortunately, it was a surprising precise strike, which did not cut his arm off, though the wound was still quite serious. Few minutes later, hw could feel that the process of healing was indeed accelerated, but it was going to take much more time to completely heal his arm. He had to leave Hoth as soon as it was possible.

However, it was going to be more difficult than the Duro had hoped to. As he moved towards the exit of the cave, he could feel that it became colder and colder. He could feel icy cold on his wounded arm and realized that his suit, which was aimed to protect him from the cold of Hoth, was damaged by Qor's lightsaber. Xantros had to do something to patch it somehow.

Fortunately, the Ranger was prepared for such an extreme situation. He opened a pocket on his thigh and took out several pieces of material, which was the same as the protective suit was made of. He picked up the largest one and detached two strips on each side of the rectangle, as they separated the layer of glue. Then, he glued the piece of material to the part of the suit, where it was cut by the lightsaber. It was a temporal solution, but it had to be enough for the time necessary for Xantros to reach his freighter.

The Jedi continued his way to the planetary surface and around twenty minutes later, he reached the entrance of the cave. It took him another half an hour to get through deep snoow to his freighter, which was located five hundred meters from the entrance. When he reached it, he was completely exhausted. He opened the door and entered the ship, almost immediately sitting down on pilot's armchair. He closed his eyes and meditated for a while.

Few minutes later, Xantros opened his eyes and started preparing to set off. He was right about to close door of the freighter, when he recalled that Lexiconus Kor was still in the cave. Though the Quarren had turned out to be his enemy, the Duro did not want to see him dead, as he hoped that his opponent could redeem himself too, if given a chance. Thinking how to help Kor without risking his own death, the Jedi heard quite roar of his animal companion. He smiled as he immediately realized that the animal could serve as a middleman or, to be more precise, a middlecat.

Xantros thought for a while on what he could do for the Aedile of House Imperium. The Quarren definitely needed some food and something warm to protect himself from the cold of Hoth. The Ranger immediately took two standard food portions and a special thermal blanket, packing them into a small bag. He attached the bag to a collar, which he always had with himself just in case and put it around animal's neck.

The Jedi focused and used the Force to communicate with his feline companion. He explained the animal what he wanted from it and asked to help the Quarren reach Battlemaster's transport. Few minutes later, when everything was ready, the animal left the ship and moved towards the cave, soon disappearing from Xantros' sight.

The Duro closed the door of his ship and continued preparations to set off. Fifteen minutes later, his freighter left the planetary atmosphere and jumped into the hyperspace as soon as it was only possible. He smiled with satisfaction. His mission was completed with success, as he managed to retrieve for the crystal, which he had been sent for, and survive both extremely harsh conditions of Hoth and equally dangerous fight against the Sith, whom he hoped to leave the planet safely too. The Duro sighed with relief and almost immediately fell asleep on his way to New Tython.