SW Evant Taelyan vs. GBM Jonuss Rai

Warrior Evant Taelyan

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Scholae Palatinae
Male Human, Sith, Sorcerer
vs.

Guardian Blade Master Jonuss Rai

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Odan-Urr
Male Human, Guardian, Sorcerer
Comment

Ultimately this came down to realism more than anything, and needing to grade based on the CSes used in the battle. I asked a second Judge to look over this battle just to make sure my Realism grade was fitting, and he agreed. More detail on each judging criteria is available upon request.

Hall Fading Light
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants SW Evant Taelyan, GBM Jonuss Rai
Winner SW Evant Taelyan
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
SW Evant Taelyan's Character Snapshot Snapshot
GBM Jonuss Rai's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Begeren – Desert Wasteland
Last Post 5 June, 2014 5:57 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Telaris "Mav" Cantor
Syntax - 15%
Son'El Master Aramis Taelyan
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: Multiple minor issues, e.g. capitalization Rationale: Multiple minor issues, e.g. capitalization
Story - 40%
Son'El Master Aramis Taelyan
Score: 3 Score: 3
Rationale: combat well described - but felt very one sided, did not deal with opponent at all, in a way that lessened how interesting it was. Rationale: some unwieldy bits. cave collapse elevates this. creative end to the fight.
Realism - 25%
Son'El Master Aramis Taelyan
Score: 2 Score: 3
Rationale: Major issues with realism here, esp. in regards to what happens in your final post. I have to grade based on only your CS, which has no mention of a second personality. also, did not get much of a feeling for Evant. Rationale: Do not really get a feeling for Jonuss as a char, nor really what made either character stand out as Jedi (or Sith).
Continuity - 20%
Son'El Master Aramis Taelyan
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues Rationale: No issues
Son'El's Score: 3.3 Master Aramis Taelyan's Score: 3.55
Posts

Begeren. Once a prosperous Sith world, it has been the site of numerous battles throughout the millennia. Grand halls and monuments were torn down and re-purposed by looting Republic forces thousands of years ago, before they were driven from the planet. Isolated settlements still dot the planet's surface, but the inhospitable, craggy, and desert-like terrain, along with the beasts common to many desert and Sith worlds, have kept most humanoids from colonizing. Occasional skirmishes have left debris scattered throughout the desert, and battles were fought here as recently as the Galactic Civil War. The planet is now under the control of the One Sith and is rumored to be full of all manner of priceless, ancient Sith artifacts.

The Dark Council has pushed forth to Begeren and the Grand Master, on his quest for ever more powerful items, has decreed the Clans and Houses seize anything of value. The unity shown by the Brotherhood during the beginning of this Crusade is fracturing, with the Clans and Houses growing tired and frustrated with the seemingly endless succession of battles. Tempers are flaring between former allies, with outright aggression no longer uncommon. Despite this, you have responded to the Grand Master's call—though whether it's to actually seize the items for the Brotherhood, destroy them, or use them for your own purposes, only you know.

You have followed the call of the Force to a stretch of desert wasteland, seemingly unremarkable save for the various rock outcroppings that dot the landscape. These outcroppings, though, hide a subterranean cave network, known to be a den of wraids. Though the entrances to the caverns are typically narrow and dark, these tunnels quickly widen. Below the surface, bioluminescent plants and lichen provide limited light.

You know that, despite reaching this place first, you won’t be alone for long, as an ancient Sith tomb is located deep within the caves the wraids now call home. Exactly what you’ll find in that tomb, you’re not sure—but it is something of great power, that much you can sense. You know it is your duty to find it, whatever it is, before any others can locate it. What you do with it when you find it… that is up to you.

As you near one of the entrances to the caves, you think you hear the sounds of footsteps, or maybe skittering, down below—and above ground, you hear the distant crunch of rock underfoot as someone else has found a different rocky cave entrance as well.

Jonuss Rai walked down the narrow tunnel within the cave system. Several meters down into the ground, the path opened up into a wide cavern just as it had in random intervals throughout his spelunking endeavor. The previous caverns he had explored had yielded nothing of interest but he had sensed that this cavern would be different. Whether that sense came from an urgent need to get what he came for and get out before the Dark Jedi he knew was nearby found him or if it was because what he searched for was actually here, he could not say. He only knew that he had to find the talisman and he had to find it fast.

The Jedi reached out with his senses, using his Force-enhanced sight to find the lost talisman. He moved around the cavern, examining the walls and crevices as quickly and thoroughly as possible. His eyes stopped on a faint glow beneath several pieces of rubble but before he could examine it further, his peripheral vision picked up the blood red aura of the Sith Warrior who had just entered the cavern from a tunnel opposite the one that Jonuss had entered.

Jonuss, not wanting to give away his discovery, turned to face the Dark Jedi, his lightsabers ever at the ready.

“I am Jonuss Rai.” The warrior seemed less than impressed. “If you do not leave this place now, I will be forced to stop you and your Grandmaster from acquiring the talisman.”

The Sith scoffed at him. “I don't care who you are, Jedi. I am here for the talisman and I will have no problem going through you to get it.”

Jonuss Rai sighed. “If that is how it must be.” Jonuss lunged forward, his twin lightsabers igniting simultaneously, their sapphire and crimson blades illuminating the cavern around them. Evant ignited his own blade blocking the two just in time; the force and suddenness of the attack causing him to step back a few paces. Jonuss kept pressure on the Sith's blade with his left hand weapon, not allowing him to counterattack immediately. Rai twirled the weapon in his right hand away from his opponent allowing the sapphire blade to come up underneath Evant's blade. Jonuss used the combined effort of his two blades working on the Sith's blade to knock it out of the way and turned, throwing his right foot into his midsection with a perfectly executed sidekick, knocking Evant back and into a pile of sharp rocks. Jonuss continued the motion, turning himself around and twirling both lightsabers, ending in a combat pose with his forward weapon turned up in a guard and the rear weapon up over his head ready to strike. His legs, shoulder-length apart and in a shallow stance, were ready to move him at a second's notice to strike and end this.

“I'll give you one last chance to walk away.”

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 8 June, 2014 11:37 PM UTC

Realism: Evant is a skilled swordsman himself - while the detail (Story) of the combat is good, it is one sided. It's okay to beat someone to a pulp - but maybe explain a bit how you are overcoming him, and what he is doing (but failing) to try to stop you

Evant took a moment to find his footing on the deteriorating cavern floor as he reeled from the unexpected assault. A sharp pain shot across his body as he rolled his shoulders and assured himself nothing suffered permanent damage. His lightsaber held casually to his right as a smile crossed his face. Any doubts this room contained the talisman had been erased when asked to walk away from the chamber. Though exactly where continued to elude him, the Jedi didn’t have it or he would have run.

“The arrogance of you Jedi is starting to rival even your ignorance.”

A quick glance of the chamber revealed nothing obvious, the elaborate detailing of the ancient Sith tomb around him had been worn down by time, now riddled with cracks and laying in piles as if crushed and deliberately collected. Whatever former glory the Sith Lord had in mind had been defiled beyond recognition.

“I asked you to walk away, not look around.”

Jonuss pushed the attack again, obviously not wanting to give the Sith a chance to continue his search. As the Jedi closed in with his pair of lightsabers, it wasn’t the blade of the Sith that came to meet his assault, but a large jagged rock half his size that hurled across the chamber in his direction. Forced to dodge to the side and forego his attack the rock crashed into the chamber wall on the far side.

Evant moved opposite the direction of the Jedi as he dodged to build further distance as a spider web of fissures in the tomb wall cracked further under the impact of his projectile. Immediately he launched further projectiles at the Jedi, watching as they too crashed into the piles of rubble scattering them about.

As the Dark Jedi reached out through the Force, trying to connect with and quickly locate the talisman amidst the chaos, he was met with a feeling of pain and suffering. His own pain and suffering. His eyes fell on a reflection of the Jedi’s crimson blade coming from the shattered contents of a large egg amidst the rubble. It’s in that moment, almost too late, that he recognized the true threat to his life came not from the Jedi but from behind.

Lunging backward the Sith watched the massive front claws of a wraid swipe through the air where his head was moments before, as the huge arm they were attached to slammed into his right shoulder. The force of the strike knocked the Sith clear of the attacker but back onto the ground. He now lay at the feet of three additional wraids who rushed into the chamber to protect their nest, a large portion of which lay crushed at the feet of the Jedi across the chamber.

Evant, fighting back the new pain, pulled himself to his feet and huddled up to a nearby chamber wall to guard his rear as he reignited his lightsaber for protection. He looked up at the closest of the wraids, the talisman far from his mind, now replaced by self-preservation as he looked into the eyes of an enraged reptile. In his peripheral he watched as two of the beasts, not bothering to differentiate the invaders in their nest, push off against their massive front legs and lunge at Jonuss.

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 8 June, 2014 11:34 PM UTC

Story: Really nice description of Precog

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 8 June, 2014 11:34 PM UTC

Syntax: Some world repetition in same sentences.

Jonuss saw the two Wraids heading right for him and decided that he needed to take the beasts out before He could continue fighting with Evant or retrieving the talisman. The Jedi focused on the two reptiles, their footsteps echoing over the sounds of combat from the opposite side of the cave. Through the Force, Jonuss hurled both of his lightsabers at the Wraids, but at the last second curved them upward toward the ceiling of the cavern. The Wraids, barely acknowledging Jonuss' miss, continued towards him, their claws and fangs glistening in the faint light.

With telekinetic control, Jonuss pulled his lightsabers back to his hands, but not before they sliced free two stalactites. The red and blue blades of his weapons twirled through the air before they were shut down as his hands gripped their hilts once more. The stalactites fell from the ceiling. Assisted by gravity they speared through the heads of the two reptiles and pinned their slowly dying bodies to the ground. Jonuss returned his attention to Evant and his opponents.

The Jedi watched as his Dark Jedi opponent finished off the reptiles in his own fashion before turning back to face him. Jonuss stopped and gripped his lightsabers tightly; he knew what he had to do.

Jonuss Rai closed his eyes and focused. It had been a long time since he had awakened this side of himself and he knew that he needed its help to finish the fight quickly and accomplish his mission. A sick and twisted smile formed on his face as his eyes opened. His left eye, which had been glowing a pale blue, was now a deep crimson; the color of blood.

“Jonuss didn't want to play with you anymore so he let me out for a bit.” He twirled both lightsabers in a flourish that ended with him bowing slightly at the waist. “J'Rai is the name and killing people is the game.”

The surprised and confused look on Evant's face was all the acknowledgment J'Rai needed to begin his attack. Lunging forward, the until recently suppressed dark side personality of Jonuss Rai, attacked. His blades cutting through the air with a violence that, until now, had not been seen in this fight. His smile hadn't faded.

Evant did all he could to block and avoid the attacks. His wounds from the fight with the Wraids and the combat with Jonuss moments before had begun to eat away at his endurance and strength. J'Rai continued the assault, slashing and thrusting his blades in a dance of violence and cruelty that illuminated the cavern walls in sapphire and crimson.

J'Rai tagged his opponent, increasing the amount of wounds he was receiving. A tap on the shoulder with his blue blade, a tap on his thigh with the red. Each strike sending tendrils of pain throughout the Sith's body; but he barely uttered a sound. Any other time and J'Rai might have been impressed. But it had been so long since he had killed anyone. So long since he had heard the screams of the dying as his lightsaber pierced through them. He didn't want to be impressed. He wanted his hunger to be sated.

Evant fell backward over the pile of rubble that covered the talisman. Rocks dislodged from his body uncovered the artifact and the dark jedi took his eyes off of his opponent for a split second and saw what he had literally stumbled upon.

“I found it!” He exclaimed.

J'Rai laughed slightly. “Too bad you won't get to keep it.” As Evant's attention returned to the Jedi standing over him, he watched as J'Rai twirled his blades; the left severing the Sith's hand at the wrist and the other flashing towards his neck. Then there was darkness.

J'Rai returned his lightsabers to his belt, laughing as the Sith's head rolled down into a crevasse. He stumbled, felt his control slipping, and yelled in rage that shook the cavern walls as the dark side of J'Rai was replaced with the dominant light side of Jonuss. When his eyes opened once more, the left had returned to the pale blue.

Jonuss knelt beside the corpse of his opponent. Disgusted with himself he silently asked for forgiveness, though he knew he didn't deserve it. Off to the side he noticed the odd shape of the talisman in its place on the rocks.

“At least some good came from this.” He said as he lifted the artifact with the Force and placed it in a specially made pouch on his belt; there was no telling what effect a Sith artifact would have on a Jedi such as Jonuss Rai. With a final nod of his head towards the fallen Sith, Jonuss turned and left the cavern; hoping that he would not have to fight or kill anyone else.

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 8 June, 2014 11:28 PM UTC

Realism: Multiple personality used to defeat opponent, but not mentioned in CS...

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 8 June, 2014 11:37 PM UTC

Syntax: Should not capitalize wraids.

Pushing off the ground and leaping into the air, Evant disengaged his lightsaber and grabbed the snout of the closest wraid with his offhand and further pulled his body into the air to avoid the wild swing of a massive front leg. At nearly twice his height, its claws instead dug deep into the chamber wall behind him carving rock from the walls of the ancient tomb instead of flesh.

Almost immediately, a powerful Force Wave pressed down on the wraid, propelling Evant upward further as he contorted his body to prepare for his landing while the beast below him was forced downward. Unprepared for the attack its face was sent directly to the ground in the direction of its occupied front leg, a loud crack echoed as the massive lower jaw collided with the stone floor followed by its body.

All around him the entire chamber shook as the ground fractured at the impact, the newly formed crack growing as it branched out, terminating against walls and other features of the room. Energy from the wave sent debris from the ground flying in all directions as it bounced off surrounding walls and already mutilated features of the Sith tomb.

Landing square on the head of the fallen and disoriented wraid, a familiar smell of burning flesh met Evant’s nose as he found balance and took a survey of the room. Across the way Jonuss had carved painful deep cuts into the front legs of both the massive beasts as they relentlessly fought to protect their young. As the Jedi began to gain ground on his attackers the last of the quartet of wraids, much less disoriented by the Force Wave, was still hungry for blood.

Holding still and lowering his profile on the back of the still unconscious wraid, Evant grinned as the fourth wraid was drawn to the howls of his companions and the flashy swirls of crimson and sapphire above her trampled nest. The grin was replaced by pure elation as he spotted the talisman atop the rubble.

A dazzling glow betrayed its location as if it wanted to be found, calling to the Sith from across the chamber near the far door. The network of caves and rocks, the piles of debris, the wraids, the Jedi, all just served as obstacles to his true desires. None were worthy of his time as Evant leapt from the back of the wraid and began to rush across the tomb.

Each hasty step carefully placed on the floor littered with cracks and debris propelled him closer to his goal. Nothing else mattered except getting his hands on the talisman.

“Noooooo!”

A scream echoed around the chaotic chamber as Evant fell to his knees and into a slide, igniting his lightsaber in time to catch the first of the tendrils of electricity violently pushing to end him. Evant locked eyes with the Jonuss for a moment as he reached down and grabbed the talisman with his offhand. The Jedi had used a brief window in his combat to strike at the Sith and immediately was forced back on the defensive, in a brief moment of rage striking violently at an attacking wraid and separating one of its massive legs from its body.

Quickly jumping back to his feet, Evant rushed towards the exit to the chamber. As it began to narrow he hammered the wall violently with the Force causing it to splinter and crack. Fighting against growing exhaustion and lingering pain of injury, he gave it all he had to collapse the tunnel as he fell to his knees.

His eyes fell to the talisman gripped firmly in his hand as the dust of the falling debris overtook him. Somewhere in the network of caves behind him he hoped to find an exit. A problem that seemed so minor compared to the risk of not attaining this prize.