Knight Arron Saylos vs. Knight Abadeer Taasii

Knight Arron Saylos

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Scholae Palatinae
Male Cathar, Force Disciple, Arcanist
vs.

Knight Abadeer Taasii

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Plagueis
Male Togruta, Sith, Shadow
Comment

The winner is Abadeer Tassiii.

Congratulations, Abadeer! In truth, both of you have something to be proud of here. Keep fighting and your skills will only grow. There are a few general points of advice for both of you.

First, get a proofreader. Get two. Get ten. This is my blanket advice for every ACCer. There were some mistakes in both your posts that a good set of eyes could have caught for you, and that's not just limited to typos.

Second, check and double check the Force Powers guide. Have at least a passing familiarity with the Feats. It's easy to make mistakes here, but a huge chunk of the score difference between you came from Abadeer knowing the limits of Force Powers better.

Lastly, on your species. As non-humans, your characters are automatically unusual in the Brotherhood. Every second of their waking lives they're aware of their different senses, their fur, their montrals, and so on. If you can bring that to life for your readers, that will be a huge benefit to your writing.

This was a fun match to grade. Thank you both for writing it.

Hall Duelist Hall - Old Container
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Knight Arron Saylos, Knight Abadeer Taasii
Winner Knight Abadeer Taasii
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Knight Arron Saylos's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Knight Abadeer Taasii's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Takodana: Maz Kanata’s Castle
Last Post 28 May, 2016 10:20 AM UTC
Assigned Judge Headmistress Alethia Archenksova
Syntax - 15%
Major Jon Silvon Abadeer Taasii
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: There weren't very many errors, but keep in mind that errors are more glaring in short posts. Definitely try to group your sentences together into paragraphs. Breaking up every sentence like this is better than having a solid wall of text, but it still distracts from the story you're trying to tell. Rationale: You've learned from your mistakes in the Journeyman Tournament and your Markdown is very solid. However, there were several mistakes here that a good proofreader could have caught.
Story - 40%
Major Jon Silvon Abadeer Taasii
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: This was a fairly standard plot, though you do have a gift for good phrasing. You gave yourself a good opportunity with the change in setting between your two posts, but you didn't seem to do much with that. Rationale: This was engaging and well-written. Your adjusted your writing style to fit the circumstances, shifting to shorter, more abrupt sentences when Abadeer is struggling for survival but back to more involved ones as the perspective changed. It was a satisfying ending based on both the characters and especially picking up from Arron's post.
Realism - 25%
Major Jon Silvon Abadeer Taasii
Score: 3 Score: 5
Rationale: Multiple issues with Force Powers. Pay careful attention to the write-ups in the wiki, as Force Powers are both the easiest way to do really interesting things with your post *and* the easier way to lose tons of points on realism if you're not careful about duration, timing, etc. Remember, +3 is generally the level you're looking for to use something on the fly in combat. Lightsaber injuries are generally lethal, or at lease debilitating enough to end the fight immediately. Characters can get away with fighting through a very glancing blow, but they're definitely not going to shrug it off as casually as Abadeer does in your posts. Rationale: No errors that I found.
Continuity - 20%
Major Jon Silvon Abadeer Taasii
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No errors spotted. Rationale: No errors spotted.
Major Jon Silvon's Score: 3.55 Abadeer Taasii's Score: 4.45
Posts

[Takadona Maz Kanata’s Castle](Asset Not Found)

When the First Order beset on Takadona, Maz Kanata’s castle took the brunt of the assault. Located on the shore of a lake that was owned by the pirate Maz Kanata, it served as a haven for travelers, smugglers and other unsavory characters. Sensor grids and advanced communication gear secured the castle from unannounced attacks, giving its owner and visitors enough notice to flee the scene.

The area around it is rumored to have been the battleground for the Jedi and Sith, being of strategic value for those willing to seek control over Takadona. Inside, the castle’s gray exterior vanishes into shades of brown, the color of sandstone. Tables and chairs fill the cluttered spaces where travelers could share tales or pursue their own controversial interests. Unfiltered smoke permeates the air, clogging the senses with a sweet odor. Various criminal groups have at some time or another sought shelter in the castle, their passage evidenced by the many-colored banners outside bearing their insignia.

[Takadona Maz Kanata’s Castle](Asset Not Found)

Now, the castle remains uninhabited. Several of its towers have crumbled under the First Order’s assault. Stonework pillars have toppled over, scorched from turbolasers and blaster fire. Other segments lie in ruin, still too new for the forest to have reclaimed the land around the castle.

Takadona Forest, 34 ABY

In the dark of Takadona’s forest landscape there was a single pinpoint of light. Abadeer Taasii looked down at his wrist where his holo communicator rested. There was a projection of a map with several different blips moving about a single red blip. Taasii covered the communicator in its case and glanced out into the dense forest. In the dark of the night the Togruta relied more on his echolocation than sight, but he could still see his immediate surroundings. The craggy cliff he’d perched himself on overlooked a small lake, the entire of which was encircled by dense jungle.

While fairly temperate, the was a crisp evening wind that the Sith made sure he was not downwind of the site of his target. Beyond his normal vision, or even echolocation there was a destroyed compound. It had one tower that was still relatively intact, but the rest was now scattered debris. Abadeer’s Battleteam was moving into position around the ruined building that had apparently used to be a castle, used as a safe haven for various pirate groups.

In his ear the Togruta heard a short beep go off before a voice came out of the tiny earpiece. “Master, Nash and I have made it to the designated point. Orders?” It was Taasii’s new apprentice, Arsolimes. The newly-knighted Shadow pondered for a moment before responding.

“I don’t think it’s wise for the entire team to move in. Stay behind as back up. We’re not sure why Arron is here, but we need to capture him alive. He’s dangerous, and could be a problem for you Journeymen.” There was a low murmuring of protest over the headset. “That’s an order!” Abadeer barked, “Just stay ready for backup and extraction. He’ll have the information we need.”

As he finished his orders, the Sith took out his earpiece, not desiring any distractions in the coming conflict. Facing another Knight would take all of his concentration and skills. Taasii picked himself off the ground and rubbed his face, thinking back to the orders he’d been given.

KSD Trascendent, 34 ABY

The thin Pantoran sitting across the desk from Abadeer was seemingly ignoring the impatient Sith. After what seemed like an eternity, Laren Uscot looked up from his notes at the obviously irritated Togruta. “After the feud with Odan Urr, we’ve lost track on some of our communication and spy networks. We need those repaired as soon as possible. The Apostles will be sent on many missions in the coming months. Especially those involving other Clans. We need to know their whereabouts, what they’re doing and why.” Laren was staring directly at Taasii with a furrowed brow, trying to gauge a reaction. “If you’re ready, we’ve received some intelligence that a Cathar Knight from Palatinae has been sent to various sites in the Outer Rim to track the First Order after their most recent attacks on the Republic. Go find him, and bring him back alive. We need to know anything about what he found on the Order, as well as some questions I have for him about Palatinae.”

Takadona, 34 ABY

Still rubbing his weary eyes Abadeer looked out over the calm forest. He needed to prepare and focus. The Togruta stretched his stiff muscles before dropping himself from the cliff he’d chosen as his vantage point. Landing some meters below, the Sith rose preparing to stalk his prey. Taasii’s dark, horned frame disappeared into the jungle as he stalked towards the ruins, and his quarry.

Maz Kanata’s Castle, Takadona, 34 ABY

Arron lifted himself from his knees. This must have been quite the palace Arron mused, glancing at the rubble of the ruined castle. Saylos had been what felt like a goose chase for the past several weeks. He’d been trying to track the whereabouts of various First Order leaders. Everytime he received any kind of information, he seemed to be two steps behind, with nothing to show for his efforts. In the past few days though, there was something that caused the Cathar to be a bit more cautious than he had been. Nothing tangible, but just a feeling like he’d been followed. After arriving on Takadona, the eerie feeling couldn’t be shaken. His metallic hand felt the the lightsaber at his side, allowing him some comfort in the familiarity of the weapon.

As the Cathar dusted of his trousers, he felt a shift in the wind that caused the fur on the back of his neck to stand on end. I’m not alone. Glowing green eyes darted around at the rubble, and surrounding forest around him. A slight bit of movement nearly startled the Cathar, before he realized that it was merely a tattered and desolate banner. Arron crouched low trying to pick out anything moving towards himself. There wasn’t a single sign of anything visually, but the Knight knew he’d definitely smelled someone nearby. The Palatinae once again slowly reached down to his belt, hearing the low clink of metal on metal, he grasped the hilt tightly, and drew it from its place on his waist. With a low hum the violet blade was suddenly let loose into the air.

The Cathar held his saber aloft to aid in his search for any approaching figures. In almost frantic desperation, Saylos turned every which way, eyes searching the darkness for anything. After several minutes of panicked searching, he tried to calm himself down, taking deep breaths. Arron deactivated his blade, and closed his eyes to reach out with the Force, to see if he could sense anything. As soon as he began to focus on his surroundings, the Knight knew that he was in immediate danger. Only a few feet away, a tall figure materialized seemingly out of nothingness, with a fist raised high in the air. The Togruta brought his clenched fist down hard, right into the ground at their feet. Ar roaring shockwave exploded out from ground as his fist connected with the earth. The Cathar went flying several meters to fall in a crumpled heap.

Abadeer rose slowly from the epicenter of the blast radius. Glancing about he saw most of the rubble had been forced back from his presence, all save for the biggest pieces of the fallen walls. Amber eyes glowing like molten durasteel came to rest on the prone Cathar. This was indeed the Plagueain’s target, distinguished by the midnight hue of fur. Your imprisonment with my Apostles will not be pleasant, Taasii thought to himself as he strode slowly to his quarry. Only feet away from Arron now, the Togruta began to kneel down, when a soft itch in the back of his head told him to get away. Abadeer jumped back from Saylos with only moments to spare, as the Cathar’s violet blade lashed out right where his neck had been.

The Cathar fluidly rolled back onto his shoulders and with a powerful kick from both legs, maneuvered himself back into position ready for the coming bout. Abadeer sighed, knowing that knocking the Dark Jedi off his feet wouldn’t be enough to take him out. It had been too easy.The Battleteam Leader reached behind him where his own lightsaber rested horizontally under his lower back, and brought it to bare, barrel directed straight at the Palatinae. Abadeer activated the leveled blade and watched as Arron watched the violent hum of magenta energy beam straight towards his face.

“Come quietly, for your own good. I don’t want to kill you. We just need some information from you.” Abadeer’s low, deep voice echoed in the darkness of the ruins. In response, Arron scoffed loudly.

“I’ll not be doing that. I’ll never be a prisoner to anyone ever again!” The declaration was emphasized with Saylos’s assault, which nearly caught the Togruta off guard, as he watched the Cathar rush at him with all his might. With only a few meters between him and his opponent, the Cathar leapt quickly to the side onto a larger piece of debris to perform an acrobatic flying strike on the stationary Sith. As the lightsaber sliced through the air and came to a crash on the ground, Arron glanced up to Abadeer. Taasii had neatly bounded just out of distance of the strike as was now effortlessly holding his deadly blade at the face of Saylos.

“I don’t think you’ll find that you’ll have a choice in the matter, you flee-bitten furball."

Headmistress Alethia Archenksova, 6 June, 2016 10:10 PM UTC

Syntax:

While fairly temperate, the[re] was a crisp evening wind that the Sith made sure he was not downwind of the site of his target.

I think you meant 'upwind' here.

A[] roaring shockwave exploded out from [the ]ground as his fist connected with the earth.

This was indeed the Plague[ia]n’s target,

_ Your imprisonment with my Apostles will not be pleasant,_ Taasii thought to himself as he strode slowly to his quarry.

Mark thoughts with italics.

It had been too easy.[ ]The

Story:
You clearly established the setting and motivations for both characters, which is always nice to see in an opening post.

I also like that you made the effort to make this more stylistically distinctive than the average ACC post. If anything, you might have been a little too ambitious: in just under 1500 words, you change setting three times, time once, and POV once as well. That's a lot of stuff going on, and while I wouldn't necessarily cut any of it, it does break up the flow a bit for my liking. I would either expand that third chunk ("Still rubbing...") a bit, or simply fade from the flashback to Arron without stopping for a short paragraph about Abadeer.

While they're relatively popular for non-humans, we don't see all that many Togruta or Cathar running around. Little details like Abadeer's reliance on echolocation over sight or Arron's fur standing on end are nice moments that really take advantage of the different species.

Realism:
Arron is probably a little more agile than I'd expect from +1 Athletics, but it doesn't affect the narrative and you did a good job writing Sokan, so I'm definitely not dinging you for this. No errors found.

Continuity:
No errors found.

Flee bitten furball?

Just for that, Arron was going to take his time killing this one. Arron could feel his claws springing out reflexively, his every instinct demanding the death of the opponent who would dare try and return him to a cell.

Going by appearences the Cathar seemed completely placid, but his anger radiated outward in The Force like a wave.

If the Togruta holding Arron at saber point was even remotely intimidated, he gave no outward sign that Arron could see.

The sudden crackle of electricity sounded out, before a violet-blue stream of lightning arced from Arron’s left hand, and rushed hungrily toward its intended victim.

Abadeer was fast though, faster than Arron had first anticipated, and his reflexes were sharp.

Almost before the Dark Side-laced electricity left Arron’s hand, the Dark Jedi moved with preternatural speed, veering out of the way and running backwards to create distance between them.

As Arron bolted forward to close the distance, Abadeer struck out with a lightning blast of his own. Arron skidded to a halt, and evaded the deadly spear by rolling to he left, but only barely. A blast like that could fry his cybernetic arm - but did Abadeer know that?

“Last chance Arron,” the Togruta called out, pulling Arron from his ponderings, “Surrender now and we’ll not make you suffer too much.”

“Well when you put it that way,” Arron lashed out with a telekinetic blast in Abadeer’s direction, but in the time it took to evade the strike the Cathar closed the distance between them, and stabbed forward with his violet hued lightsaber.

Abadeer was caught off guard this time, and his parry came just a second too late. Rather than deflecting the strike, it was pushed to the left, away from what would have been a lethal strike to his heart, and instead into his shoulder.

Rather than screaming, Abadeer kicked Arron’s legs out from under him, and bolted back into the tree-line. Applying his free hand to the wound, Abadeer felt the pain fade with the dark green glow of healing.

Arron was not far behind now, already entering the forest, now pursuing his pursuer.

“I tried to be peaceful. I really did.”

Headmistress Alethia Archenksova, 6 June, 2016 10:38 PM UTC

Syntax:

Flee bitten furball?

I'd italicize this, since I read it as a thought Arron had.

but his anger radiated outward in [t]he Force like a wave.

Don't do a line break after every sentence. I don't know if this is an issue with Markdown or composition, but you want to break your post into slightly bigger chunks and only use the line break to indicate a shift in focus. Making each sentence its own paragraph is distracting.

Story:
This was a nice middle post: lots of action with a break at the end to give Abadeer room to do a lot of different things with his post. Combat alone isn't going to push your Story score over 3 unless it's really good, though, so if you have a middle post like this you want to really develop your ending for maximum score.

Realism:

Almost before the Dark Side-laced electricity left Arron’s hand, the Dark Jedi moved with preternatural speed, veering out of the way and running backwards to create distance between them.

This is fairly minor, but here's the breakdown. Abadeer definitely had time to react thanks to +3 Precognition and Lightning Reflexes. However, I don't think he'd be able to draw on Amplification quickly enough for it to matter at +2. It's a minor distinction, but it is the sort of thing that can - and has - been the deciding factor in a close match.

Arron lashed out with a telekinetic blast in Abadeer’s direction,

You'd need a Feat for this. Telekinetic Strike or Hammer Time would work.

Applying his free hand to the wound, Abadeer felt the pain fade with the dark green glow of healing.

At +1, about all Abadeer's Healing is good for is taking the edge off on the shuttle ride home. From the Force Powers guide: "Initially, the Jedi can set their own broken bones, close open wounds, and restore bodily function. This requires the Jedi to remain stationary and their full concentration dedicated to the task. Serious injuries can take up to a day to fully heal."

Now Abadeer does have the Accelerated Healing feat, but that specifically only works on minor wounds. Arron shoved a rod of superheated plasma through his shoulder. That's not minor; really, most saber strikes that aren't glancing blows will end the fight immediately.

Continuity:
No errors spotted.

Dull, undefined flashes of shadowy trees flashed past Abadeer’s blurred vision. The only thing he could focus on was the pain. While running through the seemingly endless expanse of trees, the Sith stumbled into a tree, leaning heavily on the base, trying to catch his breath for a moment. His lightsaber was gone, lost somewhere in forest, he didn’t even remember dropping the weapon. Darkness began to creep over his vision, as waves of pain radiated throughout his body from that singular point in his shoulder.

Taasii’s left arm was totally inoperative at this point, as soon as he had been stabbed it went limp, and now dangled uselessly at his side. Nausea now was swelling up through his body. The Togruta had been stabbed before, but never with a lightsaber. The pain was on a whole different level. Abadeer bent over, throwing up what little contents he had in his stomach, all over the ground at his feet. The wave of sickness brought a small moment of clarity to Abadeer’s mind. He had to try to keep moving, or find somewhere else to hide. Out in the open here, he’d be tracked down and killed immediately.

Farther back towards the ruined compound another figure leaned heavily on a tree. Arron panted, feeling totally drained. The short fight, and lightning blast had exhausted the Cathar’s limited pool of endurance. Now that the effects adrenaline had subsided and the Dark Jedi was being forced to pursue his opponent through the trees, the fatigue was taking over. I can’t let him escape.. whoever he his. He will pay. Saylos thought to himself. He pushed himself off the tree and forced himself to keep moving forward.

There was a light scent trail that he was able to follow now. Burnt flesh wafted on the air, and the Togruta must have leaned up against many trees leaving a somewhat easy trail for Arron to track. A couple hundred meters in, Arron stopped and knelt next to a tree. This one had a particularly strong scent on it, and as the Cathar knelt he found a pool of vomit on the ground. His prey was not doing well, and may well be unconscious somewhere nearby. Saylos rose from his crouched position and continued into the forest with a cruel snarl on his face. This fool would pay!

Taasii had indeed passed out. Immediately after leaning up on a rock for a moments respite, the blackness had taken him. The unconsciousness only lasted for a moment though. Waves of extreme pain and nausea kept Abadeer from being able to focus long enough to be able to force the pain to subside. A quiet sound caught the Plaugein’s attention, the soft splashing of waves from a nearby lake. Abadeer closed his eyes for a moment. The lake could provide a chance for escape.. but I might drown. Taasii’s left leg buckled under the sheer depravation of energy. He only barely caught himself with his right arm. Abadeer looked up in the direction of the lake. It was his only chance. Gathering all of his focus and will power, the Sith forced himself up, and ran towards the soft waves.

As the small lake came into view, Abadeer caught something on his echolocation. The Cathar was closing in on him. He wouldn’t be able to see him yet, but if the Togruta couldn’t get away now, he’d be killed. Taasii ran into the water, stopping for a moment. The splashing had been fairly loud in the silence of the night. He held his breath for a moment to try and focus if his opponent had detected him. Not hearing any immediate footsteps in his direction, the Knight slipped into the waves, trying to be more quiet this time. He went out several meters until the waves were up to his neck. After being mostly submerged the Togruta started to move counter clockwise around the lake, keeping the water as high as he could to try to stay hidden.

Off in the brush Arron stumbled into a clearing, still following the scent of his opponent. The trail continued out to his left, where the Cathar had hear the splashing of a large water body. Saylos cursed aloud, if the Togruta had been far ahead of him he’d lose any chance of catching him. The trail would run cold, with the waves erasing any scent to follow.

Arron raced out of the tree line to come upon the shore of the lake. The water extended past where he could have seen even during the day. Narrowing his eyes, and peering over the surface of the lake, Saylos attempted to catch a glimpse of anything. Nothing could be seen after several moments, and the enraged Cathar cursed again. Quickly he brought his emotions back under control. He’d been trained better than this, he could this alien. Closing his eyes, Arron cast out his senses. Channeling the Force through his mind, it wasn’t difficult for the Knight to sense what he was looking for. The raw emotion of panic was strong and easily detectable.

Saylos ran along the shoreline to the point where Abadeer had stopped. The Plaguein had dropped underneath the water to hide his protruding montrals. With only limited energy levels left though, the Togruta was forced to ascend for air. After gasping for breath for a moment, Abadeer looked up at what had been his target, his prey. The dark figure glared right back, green eyes glinting in the black of night.

“Do you understand the foolishness of this venture?” Arron shouted, “I would never allow myself to be taken by anyone, let alone a weakling like yourself!” Abadeer merely glared at the Cathar. He would not give any satisfaction in begging for mercy, he would accept death if that was what was called of him. Arron shook his head slowly, and drew his saber hilt.

“Fine, let the waves take you into the grips of death!” Saylos shouted while igniting the violet saber. The Knight cocked his arm back and threw his blade with all his might, while gathering his focus to the saber. The lightsaber flew toward the Togruta with unnaturally blinding speed, guided by the Force. There was a bright flash of light as the saber connected with its target, before flying through the air back to its master. Arron caught it in his outstretched mechanical arm, looking out to the spot where a prone figure floated on the surface of the water. Whether dead or alive, Saylos couldn’t care less. The Togrutan assailant would not be coming after him again.

Headmistress Alethia Archenksova, 7 June, 2016 3:37 AM UTC

Syntax:

Now that the effects [of ]adrenaline had subsided and the Dark Jedi was being forced to pursue his opponent through the trees, the fatigue was taking over. I can’t let him escape..[.] whoever he []is. He will pay[,] Saylos thought to himself.

A quiet sound caught the [Plagueian]’s attention

The lake could provide a chance for escape..[.] but I might drown.

He’d been trained better than this, he could this alien.

You're missing a word in the second clause there.

The Plaguei[a]n had dropped underneath the water to hide his protruding montrals.

Story:
I'll save the bulk of my comments for the grading rational, but this was a solid a well-written post.

Realism:
Good use of Feats, especially the Cathar species Feats. No errors spotted.

Continuity:
Excellent work picking up from that injury. No errors found.

Arron slowly stalked through the tree line, body couching low and lightsaber in held close to his torso, his every sense searching for the Dark Merino had fled from him, but coming up short.

A growl deep in his throat soon rose into a roar.

“Come out and face me!”

Arron was not surprised when no answer came. He wouldn’t have taken that kind of bait either, but he was quickly losing patience with the smoke and mirror game his opponent had fallen back on.

In truth, Arron knew he was at a disadvantage here, and now that some of the earlier rage and blood lust had cleared from his mind, he was beginning to think that the smartest thing to do would be to use the lull in battle to get out of here and back to his ship.

However, his thoughts of escape quickly evaporated when the unmistakable sensation of a telekinetic attack alighted his senses just after he sensed Abadeer dropping his concealing veil, rapidly followed by being thrown off his teeth and through the air.

Arron landed hard onto the ground, and only just had enough time to roll out of the way of his opponent’s saber swing that aimed to bisect him.

Fine then. If his opponent was determined to make this a duel to the death, Arron was only too happy to oblige.

He tumbled into a crouch, rolling onto his feet and regaining a fighting position. Not a second later Abadeer was on him again, violet hued blades clashing with each other and lighting up the darkened forest with flash after flash each time the opponent’s swords clashed.

There were no words now, attempts at diplomacy or demoralization, but two seasoned warriors completely immersed in the Dark Side of the Force, their every sense and thought on victory.

In such close combat, both warriors knew that one mistake or step too slow as all it would take to cost them their life. And Arron knew exactly how to take advantage of that.

He had to let just some of his concentration slip, but he drew on the Dark Side, and conjured the invisible tendrils of terror that slipped into Abaddeer’s mind.

Arron could see the effect in his enemy's eyes, some of his previous confidence giving way to the artificially induced fear that Arron had conjured.

Arron swung his lightsaber, and though Abadeer parried, he visibly flinched. Arron increased the intensity of the hallucination. Abadeer's next block came just an instant too late, and Arron’s attack sunk into his throat.

Arron grinned as his opponent breathed his last.

Taking one final look at his defeated enemy, Arron sprinted through the forest and toward his ship, knowing full well that his enemy’s allies would not be far behind.

Headmistress Alethia Archenksova, 6 June, 2016 10:55 PM UTC

Syntax:

his every sense searching for the Dark Merino had fled from him,

I don't know what a Merino is, and this is what Wikipedia had to say:

The Merino is an economically influential breed of sheep prized for its wool.

So I'm going to assume this was autocorrect at work.

Story:

a fighting position

I am contractually obligated to say this every time I see "fighting position" or "defensive stance" or some such: Show, don't tell! Don't assume your reader knows what a Sokan fighting position looks like. Show me. Show me what he does with his weight, his footing, his weapon. The more you describe it, the better you set the scene and the more vivid your writing will be.

Realism:

However, his thoughts of escape quickly evaporated when the unmistakable sensation of a telekinetic attack alighted his senses just after he sensed Abadeer dropping his concealing veil, rapidly followed by being thrown off his teeth and through the air.

Two things here. First, Abadeer only has Force Cloak. That works against mundane senses but not against the Sense Force Power. It's a little unclear, but I took "his every sense searching" to imply that Arron was using the Force to look for him.

Second, Abadeer can only directly attack with Telekinesis using Telekinetic Pound, which doesn't come through clearly in your writing. At +2 in both Force Cloak and Telekinesis, Abadeer isn't going to be good enough to drop his Cloak and immediately unleash the attack without a few seconds of build-up in between.

Arron increased the intensity of the hallucination

This is too nitpicky for me to ding you for, but Terror just induces a feeling, not a hallucination. The way you described it earlier in the post is fine, but if Abadeer's seeing things that aren't there (i.e. a hallucination), that's Illusion, not Terror.

Continuity:
No errors spotted.