Pirates are a rowdy lot. It is a fact rarely questioned and merely accepted by those who deal with them regularly. While the Herald’s crew is no different, the band's leader has a different approach to facilitating their tendencies. To this end, one of the Matron's smaller hangars — designated Hangar Zerek — has been recommissioned as a combat arena... or execution chamber.
Once a dedicated repair bay, Hangar Zerek is still equipped with fabricator arms and an assortment of Trade Federation droid parts that have fallen into disrepair. A squared off section, including illumination banks at each corner, designates the intended 'arena'. The section is denoted by active shock fences, run by nearby generators. It is here that the crew lets off steam, with the hangar bay sealed.
The hangar itself still has a fully functioning force field that comes into play when matches are meant to become more interesting, or when it comes time to jettison troublesome captives. The hangar bay doors peel open, leaving only the active field to separate the arena from the vacuum of space. The control mechanisms for the hangar doors can be operated manually from the control booth or on a set timer, including the force field's toggle switch.
The control booth is the last segment of Hangar Zerek worth noting. Doubling as an observation deck, it is the only obvious entrance to the hangar. All maintenance hatches and access-ways have been sealed in advance, though the catwalks crisscrossing along the upper layers of the hangar remain. The booth itself is sealed, providing a safe haven for when the force field comes down.
Syntax
In these examples the article “the” should precede the noun because the noun references something that is already known by the reader. “The sounds” because you already referenced them in the previous sentence; the reader knows which specific sounds you are referring to. “The human’s mind” because the reader knows which specific human’s mind you are referring to. “The upper parts” because, taken as a whole, there is only one “upper parts” to the hangar, so the reader knows what part you are referring to.
A minor misspelling: should be Allusis.
It’s a good idea to format spoken speech quotes differently to unspoken thought quotes. This is usually done with italics, which is achieved with asterisks on the website: *Finally,* thought Lithar Andaris.
In this sentence, the subject (agent) of the action providing is Edgar. It relies on this subject to make sense, so the sentence would flow better if there was no comma between the subject Edgar and the verb providing. With speech quotes, reading the text out loud can often help you to spot where and where not to put a comma.
Here you would use “had hoped” (past perfect tense) to indicate that the action of hoping preceded in time the action of not hoping, which is what you were implying in this sentence. You would use the subjunctive form “were” to indicate that it is something that does not, in fact, reflect reality (because they weren’t actually better). I’m not detracting Syntax here because it is inside a character’s dialogue and it’s not unreasonable to think he spoke it as you wrote it.
When referring to a person or a group of persons it’s more usual to say “with” rather than “at.”
When using a noun that can be counted (“seconds” in this case) you usually need to use an article with it. Here you would use “a” because it is an unspecified (indeterminate) number of seconds.
Story
You had the essentials of the opening post pinned down here. You introduced the characters and some details of the venue, you gave reason and motivation for the conflict and you initiated combat right at the end. However, the phrase that came to mind throughout the post was “flesh it out.” In terms of motivation, Lithar’s face-heel turn was a significant event, and it deserved further exploration. While it was not unbelievable, it felt somewhat impersonal, and that made it less convincing. Why did Lithar choose Mos specifically for his plan? How did Mos react to Lithar’s plan? How does Lithar justify his actions to Mos as an individual rather than a generalised Jedi?
In terms of combat, by keeping it so short you missed an opportunity to interact properly with the venue and to flesh out Mos’ reaction to what is happening. Overall, you had a good outline for your story and some very nice ideas, you just needed to flesh them out some more.