Knight Kylex vs. Knight blackhawk

Knight Kylex

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Scholae Palatinae
Male Human, Sith, Juggernaut
vs.

Knight blackhawk

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Tarentum
Male Clawdite, Force Disciple, Marauder
Comment

As matchups go, this was pretty even on skill and experience. Both of you had similar issues when it came to tense, point of view, and some minor realism dings. These are all growing pains while learning a system and are to be expected. The important thing is to learn from it.

If there's one thing I can suggest to both of you, it is to find good proofers in your Clans. Somebody who can help point out reoccurring mistakes and give you pointers. Both of you had problems with keeping to a single point of view in combat, and this is understandable at your early stages of writing. Back and forth is more exciting for fighting, yes, but it can make it difficult to follow and thus harder for the reader, in this case, the judge, to determine what was going on. If the grader has to backtrack and reread a paragraph multiple times, that's not okay.

I see drive and a lot of raw talent in these posts, and I encourage you both to keep going, keep writing. None of your errors were post or story breaking, but they do add up (especially over a six post fight), and thus we get the scores we ended up with.

If there's any questions about the results, I'll be happy to answer them via email.

With a score of 3.45, Knight blackhawk is the winner!

Hall Duelist Hall - Ranked
Messages 6 out of 6
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Knight Kylex, Knight blackhawk
Winner Knight blackhawk
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Knight Kylex's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Knight blackhawk's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Godless Matron: The Gauntlet
Last Post 30 March, 2017 4:34 AM UTC
Assigned Judge General Stres'tron'garmis
Syntax - 15%
blackhawk Kylex Sanguris
Score: 3 Score: 2
Rationale: Less point of view issues than Kyle, some issues with phrasing and repeated usage of words, check the notes please. Rationale: You had a lot of point of view swaps and some confusing sequences, check the notes.
Story - 40%
blackhawk Kylex Sanguris
Score: 3 Score: 3
Rationale: Few issues, check the notes for detailed explanations. Rationale: Check the notes, a lot of issues with periods after commas with dialogue and modifiers afterwards.
Realism - 25%
blackhawk Kylex Sanguris
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: For the most part, pretty solid, check the notes! Rationale: Few issues with the usage of Sense/Perception as well as might vs amplification/rage, please read the notes.
Continuity - 20%
blackhawk Kylex Sanguris
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: A few misplaced saber moments and other very minor dings, overall pretty good. Rationale: No issues
blackhawk's Score: 3.45 Kylex Sanguris's Score: 3.25
Posts

Matron_TheGauntlet

The Godless Matron was once a Trade Federation battleship, crewed by countless droid workers. Since then, many sections of the ship have fallen into disrepair due to the sheer amount of manpower involved in its maintenance. As a result, parts of the central sphere of the Lucrehulk-class battleship has been left to the ravages of time and the scars of the Clone War itself.

The crew has come to refer to this section of the Matron as The Gauntlet, largely due to the danger it represents. Located in the lower regions of the command sphere, it is a crosshatched network of ruined and damaged hallways, repair bays, and even crew quarters. While most power has been shut off to this section — save for critical systems such as life support — the systems and circuitry still require occasional maintenance in order to keep the entire framework operational. Such tech runs have become a matter of betting amongst the crew, earning it the nickname: running the gauntlet.

Matron_HangarZerek

A heavy layer of dust sits mostly undisturbed along the debris of the halls, save for the footprints of the few crew that have tread the path before. These previously walked paths are a safety net for those who venture into The Gauntlet unknowingly. It is also thought that the remaining Separatist forces staged a last ditch defense within this area of the ship, and did so by any means necessary. Many traps, ranging from explosives to spring-loaded mechanisms, are littered throughout the untravelled pathways — or even still undisturbed within the known sections. Further still, malfunctioning B1 droids and even semi-active Spy Drones remain, ready to ambush the unsuspecting observer and adding to the dangers of the dark, debris filled tomb The Gauntlet has become.

The Godless Matron. Blackhawk had hoped he would never have to return to that place again. However, whatever instinct was pulling him was drawing him here.

Why here? Anyone coming to this place was either insane, ignorant, or looking to hide. The few days he had spent in Chute Town and the surrounding areas of the ship last time he had been here were among the worst of his life. Little did he know, Blackhawk had never been to a more dangerous part of the ship. “The Gauntlet” as the locals called it, loomed in front of him, dark and daunting. Whoever Blackhawk was looking for appeared to be somewhere in there.

“Roger roger.” Blackhawk jumped as he heard the robotic, high pitched voice upon entering the tunnel. Startled, Blackhawk swung his arm upward in the general direction of the voice. “Whoaah,” the robotic voice cried as it's source left the ground and flew into the ceiling, smashing to pieces instantly, an electric crackle coming from the parts.

“Not bad,” came a voice from behind. This time however, it wasn't a droid. Blackhawk spun on his heel and thrust out his arm, but this time, instead of sending the victim careening into the nearest surface, he immobilized the target.

“Who are you?” Blackhawk asked. “And what do you want?”

“If you must know, I am called Kylex.”

“Roger roger.”

Dropping Kylex, Blackhawk turned to deal with another droid, but before he got the chance, the droid’s head buckled and compressed, causing it to fall forward. Blackhawk was unable to respond before he found himself flying into a nearby wall. The sound of a lightsaber igniting made it clear that Kylex intended to leave him here with the droids.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 7:12 PM UTC

The Godless Matron. Blackhawk had hoped he would never have to return to that place again.

Minor syntax ding, 'hoped he would never have to return to this place again' would be proper, you're currently there.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 7:13 PM UTC

However, whatever instinct was pulling him was drawing him here.

May want to say things aloud from time to time, as this was incredibly awkward to read.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 7:13 PM UTC

At less than 300 words, not a lot was going to happen here. You placed the players and pointed out one of the hazards of the venue as well as initiated conflict, though presented no reason for it.

The Godless Matron, a wretched hive of scum and villainy, had been placed on the board for the latest assassination mission for Tacitus Athanasius. Knight Kylex had jumped at the opportunity to sink his teeth into another target. He had traveled to the large, desolate Lucrehulk-class battleship in search for a particular member of Tarantum. It would seem fate had destined the two to meet in The Gauntlet, a maze of hallways and shredded metal, with B1 battle droids occasionally reactivating from their slumber.

The young Sith had finally tracked his victim down, and sent him flying into a nearby wall with a large thunk. Kylex peered through the darkness, quickly grabbing his lightsaber, activating it with a snap-hiss, the crimson blade humming ominously. He tilted his head as the figure coughed, landing with a thud and quickly getting to his feet.

“So, you must be the infamous Blackhawk.” Kylex said with a smirk, the Clawdite’s reaction only reinforced his identity. “You’ve quite the bounty on your head, and I’m here to collect it.”

“Typical Sith.” Blackhawk said, spitting on the floor as he drew two lightsabers, igniting them simultaneously. “Always in it for your own gain.”

“On the contrary my dear, the money will be for a poor family I saw begging on my home turf, I’m just here..” said the Sith menacingly, as uncontrollable laughter poured from him like an open faucet. “I’m just here for the fight.”

“I’ll end this quickly.” Spoke the Jedi, suddenly running forward and jumping, coming back down at the Sith with a dual bladed slash. The two orange streams of plasma soared through the air in an V shape, stopping with a brilliant flare of white as they clashed against Kylex’s red blade. It was at this point that the Sith had noticed the blade in Blackhawk’s left hand has two miniature blades, propelling out from the side.

”Woah…” Kylex thought to himself, jumping backwards as Blackhawk rocketed after him, slashing wildly. The Clawdite was relentless in his strikes, each getting faster and faster, missing the Human by mere inches as they leapt around the tunnel. The two locked blades, sparks flying from their lightsabers as Blackhawk began to press down upon the Sith. The Jedi’s dark green eyes filled with determination as he felt the Force augment his strength, inching the orange blades closer and closer to Kylex’s helmet.

“Bastard.” said Kylex under his breath, pushing back with all he had against his opponent’s blades, the strength of each equalling out as the blades stayed locked in place. Blackhawk smiled, with one last push, his lightsabers a hair away from ending the Sith, he activated his left knuckle plate vibroblade, the small but lethal blade punching through the Mandalorian helmet. He freed his blade from the helmet as Kylex dropped too the floor with a clunk, the red blade retreating back into the hilt as Blackhawk stood over the Sith, triumphant.

He turned to leave, the only thing stalling his step was a unshakable feeling that his battle was not over yet. The Jedi spun on his heel to check on the corpse, only to see Kylex standing tall. The Sith grabbed at his helmet, removing it and tossing it with a thud down the tunnel. Heavy breaths exited from Kylex’s mouth as he hung his head, his white hair obscuring his eyes.

“A little bit closer and you might’ve gotten me.” panted the Human, looking at Blackhawk. “It’ll take more than that to kill me.” Kylex’s eyes widened, and a large grin formed on his face as he started to giggle, shambling towards Blackhawk as the laughter echoed throughout The Gauntlet. The Jedi raised his guard, igniting his lightsabers as Kylex suddenly rushed at him at amazing speed. The Sith jumped into the air, clenching his fists as he soared towards Blackhawk.

“ORA!” yelled Kylex, punching forward as an invisible fist followed the motion, hitting the Clawdite square in the chest, sending him tumbling across the floor. The Sith landed, quickly igniting his blade and raising it above his head, angled down towards the floor behind him.

“Come at me, if you dare.”

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 7:20 PM UTC

He turned to leave, the only thing stalling his step was a unshakable feeling that his battle was not over yet.

First, an unshakable feeling, remember the rules of a/an and words starting in vowels. Secondly, blackhawk has no sense, precognition, nor perception skill points invested, how did he feel Kylex getting back up?

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 7:21 PM UTC

“ORA!” yelled Kylex, punching forward as an invisible fist followed the motion, hitting the Clawdite square in the chest, sending him tumbling across the floor.

Syntax, tense issue, 'punching forward with an invisible fist following the motion' would be more proper, as well as less awkward. Also, try not to use non-Star Wars slang in dialogue, as I cannot discern what ORA was meant to signify.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 7:14 PM UTC

He had traveled to the large, desolate Lucrehulk-class battleship in search for a particular member of Tarantum.

Tarentum, it's important to spell check the Clan names and such.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 7:15 PM UTC

The young Sith had finally tracked his victim down, and sent him flying into a nearby wall with a large thunk.

Picked up two minor syntax errors here, one, the unnecessary comma after 'down,' the other being 'large thunk,' as this is a noise and not a matter of size or weight, this should have been 'loud thunk.'

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 7:16 PM UTC

“So, you must be the infamous Blackhawk.” Kylex said with a smirk, the Clawdite’s reaction only reinforced his identity.

I'm only going to tag this once, but you did it multiple times throughout your post. When dialogue has modifiers afterwards, such as this, they need to be separated by a comma rather than a period to be grammatically correct.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 7:18 PM UTC

It was at this point that the Sith had noticed the blade in Blackhawk’s left hand has two miniature blades, propelling out from the side.

As I told blackhawk in his first post, sometimes you have to word things out aloud. 'in Black'hawk's left hand had two miniature blades' would have made sense. Also, I think you intended projecting rather than propelling, as propelling doesn't mean what you described here.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 7:19 PM UTC

”Woah…” Kylex thought to himself, jumping backwards as Blackhawk rocketed after him, slashing wildly. The Clawdite was relentless in his strikes, each getting faster and faster, missing the Human by mere inches as they leapt around the tunnel. The two locked blades, sparks flying from their lightsabers as Blackhawk began to press down upon the Sith. The Jedi’s dark green eyes filled with determination as he felt the Force augment his strength, inching the orange blades closer and closer to Kylex’s helmet.

This and the next paragraph you change point of views multiple times, making it incredibly difficult to follow and track the actions occurring. Try to keep it to a single point of view per paragraph.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 7:22 PM UTC

A mess of point of view swapping and heavy use of Sith/Jedi in rapid succession, the story was cluttered and awkward, difficult to follow. Please remember that when you use modifiers after dialogue, as pointed out in the above notes, that you need to use a comma rather than a period.

“Ow,” Blackhawk sarcastically shouted as he hit the floor before returning the favor.

“Copycat,” Kylex growled as he fell. That's when Blackhawk struck. Bringing his crimson blade down, Kylex’s blade came up to block, exactly as the Clawdite wanted. Both blades colliding, Blackhawk’s right hand came off of his weapon and flew to his opponent's torso. A burst of lightning left Kylex screaming in agony as his guard fell.

“I will allow you one chance to give up and walk away. If you do, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But, if you do not walk away now, you will not survive. If you continue down this path, I will kill you,” Blackhawk declared to his opponent. “That's a promise.”

“Now why would I do that when we are having so much fun?” Kylex replied, laughing maniacally.

With that, Kylex rolled over and launched himself to his feet, spinning to face Blackhawk as he did.

Again, the combatants’ blades clashed, this time with Kylex charging. However, Blackhawk was again waiting for the attack.

“Predictable,” Blackhawk taunted. What his opponent didn't notice was the crimson lightsaber in Blackhawk’s right hand slowly sliding down towards his hand.

“Predict this,” Kylex shouted. Too late, he realized what was happening. In his attempt to disconnect, Blackhawk just missed his hand. Unfortunately for him, the blade of Blackhawk’s lightsaber cut through the hilt of his enemy’s weapon. The sudden lack of a blade, combined with how close he had been to losing a limb made Kylex jump back, avoiding another slash.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 8:32 PM UTC

That's when Blackhawk struck. Bringing his crimson blade down, Kylex’s blade came up to block, exactly as the Clawdite wanted. Both blades colliding, Blackhawk’s right hand came off of his weapon and flew to his opponent's torso. A burst of lightning left Kylex screaming in agony as his guard fell.

Story and continuity here. Firstly, change it up, you use the word blade over and over again throughout this post, it becomes repetitive and screws with the flow of your post, making it more difficult to read. Secondly, at what point did Blackhawk lose his second saber? It wasn't dropped nor disengaged in the previous post, yet you go to single saber in this exchange, read your opponent's posts more carefully in the future.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 8:34 PM UTC

“Predictable,” Blackhawk taunted. What his opponent didn't notice was the crimson lightsaber in Blackhawk’s right hand slowly sliding down towards his hand.

Story hit here, this was an incredibly awkward sentence that ultimately meant nothing, I'm not sure what you were trying to convey, and it took me out of the story.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 8:35 PM UTC

You had a few continuity issues here, with the missing lightsaber and no reaction whatsoever to Kylex's Telekinetic Strike attack, as well as awkward phrasing and repetitive word usage that hurt your story. You got the personalities of both characters down pretty solidly, so well done there.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 2 April, 2017 8:29 PM UTC

“Ow,” Blackhawk sarcastically shouted as he hit the floor before returning the favor.
“Copycat,” Kylex growled as he fell.

Major story and realism detractor here, Blackhawk. Show, don't tell. You didn't follow this up with any kind of descriptive action, yet somehow Kylex is laying upon the floor, with zero explanation of how you got past your charging enemy's guard which would result in him being knocked to the ground.

The large tunnel that was known only as The Gauntlet creaked and ached, as the two Knights fought with all the fury of a raging fire. Flashes of red and orange lit the hallways from Blackhawk's relentless barrage . It was only when the Jedi had managed to destroy the Sith’s lightsaber, that Kylex realised he was dealing with an actual threat. He looked down at the now broken weapon in his hands, and tossed the saber away, hitting one of the destroyed droids in the process with a large metallic thunk.

“Well, I guess you are actually a threat.” Kylex said coyly, cracking his knuckles as he stood his ground. He looked at Blackhawk, who readied himself for another flurry of attacks. The Jedi held one of his blades in front of him, and his offhand behind him. Uttering nothing more than a grunt, the Marauder leapt through the air, both blades coming down on the Juggernaut with frightening speed. Expecting to hear a tortured scream out of the Sith, all the Jedi heard was metal scraping across the floor. He looked for the source of the noise and spotted the body of a B1 Battle droid hurtling towards him. Blackhawk landed, both blades plunging into the ground as Kylex evaded the attack, sending the chest of the droid into his opponent. The Clawdite tried to evade, but it was too late. The awkward piece of metal skidded off the floor, sparking as it soared through the air, hitting the Jedi square in the chest. All the air in Blackhawk’s body was forced out as his lungs were compressed by the metal. He tried to regain his breath, stumbling backwards and falling hard on his behind.

“I bet you felt that, didn’t ya!” Kylex yelled, running forward, snatching one of the lightsabers that the Jedi had dropped. He spun around, activating the unorthodox cross bladed design, the orange glow reflecting in his own eyes with great excitement.

“Ooo, I haven't used one of these before!” giggled the Knight, picking up the other saber and tossing it lazily at Blackhawk’s head. The Jedi looked up, only to take the novitiate lightsaber to the face. He grasped the hilt and got to his feet, igniting the orange blade and raising it in front of him.

“Why?” escaped from the Clawdite’s mouth, curious why his assassin had given him a fighting chance.

“I guess old habits die hard.” Kylex said nonchalantly, raising the crossguard lightsaber above his head, pointed at the ground behind him. The Sith rocketed forward, bringing the orange blade down in a diagonal slash from his right shoulder. Blackhawk raised his own blade, blocking the incoming attack. The two blades locked together, Kylex using his raw strength, pressed down upon the Jedi. The small exhaust blade from the crossguard inched closer to Blackhawk’s shoulder. A scream echoed throughout the hallway as the blade burrowed into the Jedi’s shoulder, searing the tender flesh and muscle.

AAAAIE

Kylex grinned, uncontrollably rolling his head with euphoria at the sound of his opponent’s pain. Blackhawk glared at the Sith, intense hatred pouring out from the Clawdite like an overflowing cauldron of the Dark Side. His strength suddenly increased dramatically, surging forward with pure, unadulterated rage towards Kylex. The blades began to reverse direction, the superior natural strength of the Sith pressing against the Force fuelled powerhouse of the Jedi. Acting quickly, Kylex retrieved a small, pink bag from behind his back and smiled. He let go of the lightsaber, allowing the device to be slashed in half before double stepping backwards. Blackhawk charged him, raising his own saber high.

“POCKET SAND!” yelled Kylex, tossing the bag with all his might into the Clawdite’s face, exploding with a fine dust. Blackhawk reeled back, coughing and spluttering as his eyes swelled up. Everything went black for the Jedi, as his vision became a blur of dark colours. Kylex laughed as he activated his shock boxing gloves, and began to pose in odd positions.

“Balls in your court, don’t disappoint me.”

General Stres'tron'garmis, 3 April, 2017 9:03 PM UTC

The large tunnel that was known only as The Gauntlet creaked and ached, as the two Knights fought with all the fury of a raging fire.

Reiterating the venue isn't a bad thing, but as the intro post shows, the gauntlet is a mess of hallways and corridors, not a large, open tunnel. Not to say there can't be any, but you go from fighting in a cramped hallway to suddenly in a tunnel, this dinged you both for Story as it took me out of the flow, and continuity.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 3 April, 2017 9:08 PM UTC

His strength suddenly increased dramatically, surging forward with pure, unadulterated rage towards Kylex. The blades began to reverse direction, the superior natural strength of the Sith pressing against the Force fuelled powerhouse of the Jedi. Acting quickly, Kylex retrieved a small, pink bag from behind his back and smiled.

I dinged you on realism here, you wrote yourself losing ground in the saber lock to a rage-fuelled foe, yet took a hand from your weapon to retrieve the pocketsand without repercussion. With how you presented the situation, this should have resulted in a very bad, possibly fatal blow.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 3 April, 2017 9:09 PM UTC

Issues from your previous post, the usage of a period instead of a comma on dialogue that's modified, persist here. As well as several counts of point of view swapping. Still, the combat was pretty solid, outside of what was noted above.

Gahh. The wound burned. A lightsaber, when used properly, could be a powerful tool. Nothing could match a lightsaber for cutting power. It was also a devastating weapon. A wound from one could cause immense pain, as it was for Blackhawk. For anyone unable to use the Force, and even for most that were, a lightsaber wound would end the fight. However, a lightsaber wound caused pain. Pain fueled anger. And like a lightsaber, anger could be a powerful weapon, as Blackhawk was about to demonstrate.

He could feel his shoulder going numb, his vision going red, his senses elevating. He was able to smell his lightsabers, the lingering scent of a recently fired blaster, likely from one of the functioning droids, and even the faint smell from whatever chemical Kylex had used to clean his ship. Blackhawk could feel the Force flowing through him, completely at his command.

A laugh escaped his lips as Blackhawk rose from the floor.

“What's so funny?” Kylex inquired.

“You should have left while you had the chance,” Blackhawk replied between bursts of laughter.

This enraged Kylex. He charged at the wounded Clawdite, not realizing until it was too late, that he was playing into Blackhawk’s hands. A burst of lightning escaped his fingertips, hitting Kylex square in the torso.

“Up we go,” Blackhawk sarcastically remarked as he flicked his wrist, sending his opponent upward. The Clawdite advanced, now ignoring any inhibition that may have remained. As gravity’s effects returned Kylex to the ground, the stolen lightsaber flew back into Blackhawk's hand. Where it belongs.

His opponent attempted to get up, only to be met with a hard, swift kick to the side.

“I said I would kill you,” the Tareni knight declared.

“My clan will avenge me,” came the sharp reply as he lunged at Blackhawk. Instinctively, Blackhawk swung his left arm across to block the attack, his lightsaber ignighting as he did. Even though Kylex ended up being cut through his head, deep into his side, his leg flayed, the combined force of the swing and his enemy's corpse colliding sent a jolt of pain through Blackhawk. He may have won, but the fight had cost him. As the fuel from his rushbof anger left Blackhawk, he found himself in immense pain. It would take several hours before the strength he needed to leave would return to him. In the meantime, he his under the corpse, waiting for that to happen.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 3 April, 2017 9:50 PM UTC

This enraged Kylex. He charged at the wounded Clawdite, not realizing until it was too late, that he was playing into Blackhawk’s hands. A burst of lightning escaped his fingertips, hitting Kylex square in the torso.

You started as Kylex and ended as Blackhawk, this is a point of view swap, and thus a ding to your Story. Please try to focus on one person's point of view in a single paragraph.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 3 April, 2017 9:45 PM UTC

He could feel his shoulder going numb, his vision going red, his senses elevating. He was able to smell his lightsabers, the lingering scent of a recently fired blaster, likely from one of the functioning droids, and even the faint smell from whatever chemical Kylex had used to clean his ship. Blackhawk could feel the Force flowing through him, completely at his command.

Interesting use of Rage.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 3 April, 2017 9:47 PM UTC

As gravity’s effects returned Kylex to the ground, the stolen lightsaber flew back into Blackhawk's hand. Where it belongs.

Continuity first, the lightsaber in question was destroyed in Kylex's post. Syntax secondly, the wrong tense at the end there, 'where it belonged' would be proper.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 3 April, 2017 9:53 PM UTC

“My clan will avenge me,” came the sharp reply as he lunged at Blackhawk. Instinctively, Blackhawk swung his left arm across to block the attack, his lightsaber ignighting as he did. Even though Kylex ended up being cut through his head, deep into his side, his leg flayed, the combined force of the swing and his enemy's corpse colliding sent a jolt of pain through Blackhawk. He may have won, but the fight had cost him. As the fuel from his rushbof anger left Blackhawk, he found himself in immense pain. It would take several hours before the strength he needed to leave would return to him. In the meantime, he his under the corpse, waiting for that to happen.

Mixed bag here, you swapped your point of view right at the start again, starting with Kyle and changing to blackhawk. You had multiple spelling errors that I believe are the result of either no proofer, or rushing to meet the time limit, as you didn't have many in your other posts. A good show of how Rage works, both at the start and the end, I liked that you actually reocgnized fatigue.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 3 April, 2017 9:55 PM UTC

While you had some issues, this wasn't a bad post. I got the impression that you were rushed for time and skipped having a proofer look at your post before putting it up. Never be afraid of asking for an extension to insure you have the time needed to put forth your best!

Blackhawk seethed in anger, every single fibre of his being thrummed with the Dark Side. Raw emotion coursed through his veins and pulsated, all his focus on the white haired Sith, standing before him.

“This is where you die. Kylex.” said Blackhawk softly, wiping his eyes of the blinding powder. He looked up, leveling the blade horizontally with the ground before charging forward, quickly closing the distance between himself and the Sith. Kylex smiled, quickly stepping to the side and avoiding a slash. Blackhawk quickly refocused his rage, slashing wildly at Kylex, each strike of the lightsaber barely missing the Sith.

“Your strikes are useless if you CAN’T HIT ME!” yelled Kylex pulling his fist back and releasing it, like a projectile fired from a heavy cannon, hitting Blackhawk square in the lower gut. All the oxygen escaped the Jedi’s lungs as his diaphragm collapsed in with the sheer force of the strike. Blackhawk dropped the lightsaber, grabbing at his gut in pain, gasping quickly to try regain the lost air. Kylex began to laugh maddeningly, grasping at his head with utter delight. His purple eyes began to freakishly roll around in their sockets as he continued to laugh, before they focused once again on the Jedi.

“Eat this.” said Blackhawk, coughing up blood as he pulled out his X-8 blaster, quickly firing off a few shots at Kylex.

“Useless useless useless USELESS!!!” yelled Kylex with a deafening roar, running towards Blackhawk and tackling him around the chest. The blaster was dropped, hitting the floor with a clunk as the Sith began to lay into the Jedi. He punched the Clawdite repeatedly, each strike connecting with the force of a meteor. Kylex got up and stepped back, grabbing the Jedi’s cryoban grenade as he stood.

“Fire and ice… Fire and ice… These are very nice..” muttered the Sith in a near trance like tone, raising his right arm and pointing it at Blackhawk. The Jedi looked at Kylex, his strength rapidly fading.

“I’ll kill you, for my clan!” yelled Blackhawk as he slowly got to his feet, triggering his two knuckle plate vibro blades, and got into a defensive stance. Kylex looked down his shoulder at the Jedi, surprised that despite being bloody and broken, was still willing to fight on. He let out a long sigh, before a small nozzle appeared just above his wrist, and unleashed a torrent of liquid fire.

”AAAAAAAAAIIIIIII!!!” yelled Blackhawk, his flesh instantly catching fire, and his clothes ignited. The Jedi’s last screams where only heard by Kylex, as his life rapidly faded. The Sith looked at the cryoban grenade he had stolen, and tossed it over his shoulder. The screams faded, as the corpse of Blackhawk lay charred and broken in the darkness. Kylex looked at the body, giving his target a final salute. Blackhawk had been a great challenge for the Sith, but he was still, in the end, a target. “You fought well, I wish it did not have to be this way.” he muttered, before vanishing into the darkness.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 3 April, 2017 10:22 PM UTC

You again were plagued with the same issues as the previous two posts, swapping point of view out and the comma after dialogue with modifiers. After a lot of back and forth in the previous posts, the combat and ending was a bit anticlimactic. Still, Blackhawk went into this post wounded, so coming out on top was somewhat expected.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 3 April, 2017 10:20 PM UTC

“Eat this.” said Blackhawk, coughing up blood as he pulled out his X-8 blaster, quickly firing off a few shots at Kylex.

“Useless useless useless USELESS!!!” yelled Kylex with a deafening roar, running towards Blackhawk and tackling him around the chest.

You got a few dings here, one, Blackhawk has an aspect specifically about being a melee fighter, and his lightsaber is, from how you wrote him dropping it, well within range. Second, charging through blaster fire without any kind of dodging, yet not being hit? That's a realism hit as well.