Qor panted and wheezed, feeling the heat of the sun and the intensive fight bearing down on his lungs, then stepped forward. He threw the saberstaff across the desert and tried to control the weapon with Force, but the pain in his arm and gashing wound was too much.
Running closer to the Inflictor, Seth veered and rolled across the sand. The spinning saberstaff curved towards him and sliced through his duster coat, narrowly missing his thigh. The lightsaber clipped the sand, glassing the area and forced the blade to jolt. The weapon then spun in reverse and deactivated on the ground.
“Bah, frak!” Qor hissed as he held the limp arm, trying his best to concentrate and patch and wound. His arm trembled as he lifted it and activated the advanced inquisitor comlink.
“HK, do you read me? It’s Qor. I need you to chase that ship!” He shouted down the device.
“Hold on, master. I just got my chassis shined and you want me to go on a wild chase for a singular droid and ship in the outer rim?” HK replied with very little worry.
“If he leaves, there’s a chance to have more Odanites in this fight. Get it now!” Qor shut off the comms, then looked up to notice Seth had disappeared.
Limping over to the Inflictor, Qor noticed a slither of Seth’s coat on the floor. Hissing and wincing at the pain of bending, he reached down and snagged the cloth from the ground. With some concentration, Qor focused the Force on the material and an image of past events appeared.
Seth’s past ghost led the vision until the Seer found his saberstaff underneath a mound.
“So it landed here,” Qor knelt down, still wincing at the pain, then felt the sand. The metallic hilt was cool to his touch and he yanked it free. The Arcanist concentrated more, as the ghostly Seth raced towards the giant exhaust of the ship. Qor could feel the metallic skeleton shiver and buckle under its own weight, as the sand leapt from the ground and turned from solid to liquid-like. The phantom Seth began to jump and climb up the rods of the exhaust, ascending high into the shadows.
Pew!
A red slug arced from the darkness and towards Qor, as a deafening roar of the gun echoed through the skeleton. Qor winced as he brought his arm up to defend, but it was too late. The semi-permeable cornea scraped the slug, and broke into pieces. The pellet tore down Qor’s sleeve and burned his forearm.
“Gah! Seth!” Qor fell back onto his rear, he pushed his body into a roll and headed further into the ship. Qor latched onto the Force with his concentration, numbing the pain that seared his body until it was acceptable to stand. Blood and spittle dropped from his lips, as he limped further into the darkness of the Inflictor’s engine.
Creaking and moaning of the metal bellowed from every corridor and tube, with scrap metal as far as Qor can see. Compartments, gaping holes and wiring decorated the engines. Something had to be done to lose Seth, he needed the edge.
“HK, are you there? I need you,” Qor brought his advanced comlink up, wiping the blood from his mouth.
“What is it now, master? More demands?” HK replied with an agonised groan.
“I need you to return immediately, I am losing!” Qor pleaded, as he heard soft footsteps echo through the engine.
“But sir, I just caught up to this droid, now you want me to drop this entirely!” HK argued, as Qor heard him hit the ship’s panels in annoyance.
“Please HK, I need a soldier,” the Quarren sighed, as the Force warned him of Seth’s immediate advance.
But it was too late. Qor felt the angered soul of Seth close the distance and prepared his mind to kill. He turned to see the mercenary whip his dual slugthrowers out and fired mercilessly. Blasts of plasma exploded across the Quarren’s body, tearing his chest and face apart. Blood and gore decorated the engine pipeline, as the body fell with a splat.
“Moe, it’s Seth. Turn and return fire to that ship. This target is down,” Seth smirked and shot another slug into the Quarren’s face. Skull fragments and brain matter pelted his boots, but he didn’t care. He deserved it. It was for the hat.
I want to start off by saying I like how you've setup the battle and I also like how you've realistically written the use of Barrier.
This is pretty close to (and perhaps actually is) a run on. A semicolon here would clean it up.
Syntax error.
Why are you limping?
Based on the picture I've got in my mind of how you've written the scene up to here, what kind of distance are we talking? It all seems like this is happening at point-blank range.
Syntax error here as well.