Savant Aurora "Aura" Ta'var vs. Seer Kelly Mendes

Savant Aurora "Aura" Ta'var

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Odan-Urr
Female Zeltron, Force Disciple, Arcanist
vs.

Seer Kelly Mendes

Equite 3, Equite tier, Clan Plagueis
Female Human, Force Disciple, Seeker
Comment

This was actually a really cool match to see between two similarly spec'd characters in terms of Lightsaber and Athletic combat prowess. The differences lay in the Aspects, and both writers did a good job of playing back and forth with them. At a rudimentary level, Blade's posts, pacing, and descriptions flowed better and were stronger than Kellys, but Kelly did a creative job with keeping the engagement interesting. This lead to the push in story for me. The real kicker came down to how Kelly used Pheremones towards the end of her first post. If that had been done a bit more accurately to how the CS Feat is explained (focused on higher disposition to attraction and thus manipulation, not cheap-mind control) then I think this fight would have come down to the minor inconsistency Blade had in her final post transitioning from the last line of Kelly's first post.

In the end, Blade holds out and demonstrated her abilities as a precision writer who really took time to study the sheets and the cs system for this match.

Great work. Very proud of both of you, as I've seen your writing grow over the past year, and I am glad that I got to grade this one.

-W

Hall Phase I: Winds of Change [GJWXII]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Competition [GJW XII Event Long] Combat Writing - ACC Ladder
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Savant Aurora "Aura" Ta'var, Seer Kelly Mendes
Winner Savant Aurora "Aura" Ta'var
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Savant Aurora "Aura" Ta'var's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Seer Kelly Mendes's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Takodana: Maz Kanata’s Castle
Last Post 8 July, 2017 10:11 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae
Syntax - 15%
Aurora "Aura" Ta'var Dr. Giyana Jurro
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: Small error noted. Rationale: A few errors here and there.
Story - 40%
Aurora "Aura" Ta'var Dr. Giyana Jurro
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: A decent set up, but it was a bit slow for such a short match. Good introspection but it took too long for the action to really kick in. The ending worked for me, but again nothing in the narrative really wow'd me. Rationale: I was impressed with a lot of the smaller things you did. The references, while cheeky, actually worked. I appreciated them, personally, and you did do a good job of showing the dichotomy of Kelly and Aura.
Realism - 25%
Aurora "Aura" Ta'var Dr. Giyana Jurro
Score: 5 Score: 4
Rationale: No issues I saw. Rationale: The way you had pheromones being used was an issue.
Continuity - 20%
Aurora "Aura" Ta'var Dr. Giyana Jurro
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: Error noted in comments. Rationale: No issues I found..
Aurora "Aura" Ta'var's Score: 4.25 Dr. Giyana Jurro's Score: 4.2
Posts

[Takadona Maz Kanata’s Castle](Asset Not Found)

When the First Order beset on Takadona, Maz Kanata’s castle took the brunt of the assault. Located on the shore of a lake that was owned by the pirate Maz Kanata, it served as a haven for travelers, smugglers and other unsavory characters. Sensor grids and advanced communication gear secured the castle from unannounced attacks, giving its owner and visitors enough notice to flee the scene.

The area around it is rumored to have been the battleground for the Jedi and Sith, being of strategic value for those willing to seek control over Takadona. Inside, the castle’s gray exterior vanishes into shades of brown, the color of sandstone. Tables and chairs fill the cluttered spaces where travelers could share tales or pursue their own controversial interests. Unfiltered smoke permeates the air, clogging the senses with a sweet odor. Various criminal groups have at some time or another sought shelter in the castle, their passage evidenced by the many-colored banners outside bearing their insignia.

[Takadona Maz Kanata’s Castle](Asset Not Found)

Now, the castle remains uninhabited. Several of its towers have crumbled under the First Order’s assault. Stonework pillars have toppled over, scorched from turbolasers and blaster fire. Other segments lie in ruin, still too new for the forest to have reclaimed the land around the castle.

Aura sat at a table in the middle of a dark room inside Maz Kanata’s castle. The place was a mess with several objects to trip the unwary. Thankfully, the Zeltron had brought her light amplification goggles. It was safer this way. She wasn’t meant to be seen, only to verify a rumor and then go. Aura sighed and looked at her Inquisitorius scanner. The reddish glow of its screen was unsettling to her, reminding her of her own past. She pulled the hood of her Jedi robe closer to her face, the cloth somehow reassuring her she was different now.

Still no life signs and nothing on the thermals…

The Odanite really hoped something would come up, but things weren’t looking great. Lotus intelligence had found scant evidence of recent activity here and even worse it looked like it was from Plagueis, who was rarely up to anything but trouble. Aura sighed and passed the time by looking around the room. The depressingly drab colors of the walls mingled with the telltale sign of blaster marks. Tables and chairs were strewn all over the place, some broken or simply turned on their sides. It was as if the place had been left unchanged, serving as a reminder of how quickly its patrons could flee. The Zeltron grimaced as she spotted yet another cigar on the floor. The pirates certainly didn’t clean up after themselves on their way out.

Oddly enough, she volunteered for this mission. Aura didn’t agree with the Lotus’ stance on working with Dark Siders and hated playing nice with them. Thankfully, a mission came up that promised to expose them for what they had always been: monsters that sought destruction. She hoped to prove that to the Lotus.The Zeltron reached out to the Force, searching for intruders.

“Oh, who are you?” she whispered to herself as she felt a disturbance in the Force.

She looked at her scanner, its thermal scan showing something approaching. Aura grabbed her stuff and quietly went to hide behind a turned over table that was in a darker patch of the room. She masked the Force within her completely, focusing on hiding from the Force itself to prevent being discovered. She would have to be content with merely half listening.

The gentle rap of heels announced the presence of another not far away, followed by the click of light switches. Eventually, they stopped.

“Figures,” scoffed a female voice. “Jedi, come out from behind the table. I know you’re there.”

Aura couldn’t help but notice the obvious air of superiority that the woman put off. Maybe it was a bluff. She did nothing.

“Don’t believe me?”

The Odanite called the Force into her legs and hastily jumped to her right as the Living Force screamed at her to move. She could hear the slam of one piece of furniture against another as she landed on top of a table nearby. The few lights that worked illuminated the room quite well, causing her eyes to hurt. She ripped off her goggles, activated her blue saber and looked over her guest. Kelly was wearing a floor length dress that accentuated her chest, while the rest of it gently framed her very thin, athletic build. Her emerald green eyes showed nothing but disdain. Of particular note was the woman’s odd assortment of weapons that many often used in their fetishes: whips and a collar. Aura let her outer robes fall to her feet and unleashed her pheromones as she considered her options.

“You know, one of these days, a tall, gorgeous Jedi might just tempt me with the sort of toys you’re carrying around. Unfortunately, I don’t need your services. I’m assuming you’re meeting a Sith client here. Care to tell me more before they come?” asked Aura, unable to wipe the smirk off her face.

Kelly’s eyes’ narrowed as she sized up the Odanite. “I’m far more than a mere call girl, Jedi. I am Kelly Mendes from Plagueis. Perhaps you have heard of me.”

“I’ve heard the rumors, but I doubt you can do much in a floor length dress. Now, what are you up to?”

The Human glared as she activated her crimson blade and stalked towards Aura. The Zeltron walked out to meet her, saber at the ready. As the Zeltron came within striking distance, Kelly lashed out in a long, sweeping strike.

Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae, 11 July, 2017 3:26 AM UTC

Lotus.The

spacing.

Aura had certainly struck a nerve. That much was clear from the sweeping strike that the Odanite managed to block. Kelly would have to beat her best. Aura had been the champion of the Journeymen tournament, showing she was no slouch in combat. Of course, that was before her change of heart. Kelly knew that skill remained with her opponent, even increasing since then. She only came to Takodana to deal with a lowly minion, yet found someone at the least her equal. It’d be easy they said, go to Takodana, lop someone’s head off then kick your feet up. Plagueis would definitely need better intel when the war broke out.

“You know you aren’t a Jedi and never will be right?” Kelly taunted Aura, seeking to unbalance her opponent. An unstable opponent was less predictable, but also more error prone.

“No! You’re wrong, General Vorsa said I would make a fine Jedi one day.” Aura snapped back, a moment of weakness on her part. Perhaps even a sign that there was some truth in Kelly’s words she didn’t want to admit.

“Yes, I hear the Jedi rite of passage is to doom people to death and turn their backs on people in favour of fulfilling your own personal desires.” Kelly chuckled after this utterance. Aura seemed to be trying to regain her composure. The Gray Jedi had been struggling, sure, but she was determined to not give up. Vorsa would see the woman formerly known as Blade transition into a Jedi. Aura always wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was. Whether as a Sith or a Jedi, the Zeltron felt a need to prove herself. And she did, though not everyone had been quite so welcoming. Eager to get this over with so she could finally silence the doubters, Aura drove her saber in Kelly’s direction.

The Dark Jedi stepped back quickly, narrowly avoiding the blow, but she’d ceded control of the battle to her opponent, not willingly, but as a necessity. Kelly was already planning for the worst. She should be able to avoid death, as murder isn’t the Jedi way, allegedly. But that would have to wait, as Aura advanced rapidly, thrashing at Kelly’s defence. Hoping to avoid being overwhelmed, Kelly leapt into the air, soaring over Aura easily, and landed behind the Jedi wannabe.

Something didn’t feel right. The Dark Jedi was beginning to feel the urge to not fight anymore. It ran contrary to her beliefs, but the accursed Zeltron’s trickery was beginning to take effect. With the distance between them, Kelly felt her thumb trembling over the activation stud. The Plagueian was sure Aura could see it too. The Odanite had not moved, save for turning to face Kelly after the leap. Wrapping her free hand around the twitching thumb, Kelly was determined to not give in so easily. Yet it called to her, like sap to a Sap Drinker. Kelly’s thumb forced her hand to hit the button. The shock of the action had the Human seemingly frozen in place. Kelly could not believe what she had just done. Aura began moving forward, lightsaber angled towards the floor, as to not suggest hostile intent.

“Everything will be ok, I’m here to protect you from yourself. You are not a bad person, just mixed in with the wrong crowd. You can be saved.” Aura spoke reassuringly in a soft, gentle tone. She got closer, and closer, stopping inside the striking range of Kelly . She had expected more of a fight from someone with such an ego. Perhaps it was a facade, meant to hide a willingness to submit. Kelly’s eyes began to well up, she appeared to, on some level, be taking in what was said.

Kelly hated herself so much, she was still struggling to resist the Zeltron, who appeared to think Kelly was fully under the influence. She nodded along with Aura’s words, hoping the movement would dispel the weakness from her mind. Her lightsaber was falling from her hand and she was powerless to stop it. Barely regaining control, she pulled out her shock whip. The pheromones were still present, however, and attempted to make Kelly drop it. The Dark Jedi would have obliged too, but through sheer willpower, the Plagueian resisted the call. Kelly lashed out at Aura, striking a lash to her saber arm.

Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae, 11 July, 2017 3:32 AM UTC

. Kelly would have to beat her best.

Be at, I think, unless she was beating her best...what?

It’d be easy they said, go to Takodana, lop someone’s head off then kick your feet up. Plagueis would definitely need better intel when the war broke out.

I did like this, lol.

to be the very best, like no one ever was.

I see what you did there.

She should be able to avoid death, as murder isn’t the Jedi way, allegedly.

tense is off here.

While I love the ending, there are a few realism issues that come up here. While Blade uses pheremones, they alone wouldn't make Kelly want to stop fighting. The dialogue is really good here, but the only thing that is off is that it almost reads like Mind Trick. There would need to be more gestures or guidance from Blade's words or body language to get Kelly to actually put away her weapon.

Aura whipped her blade into a blocking position, pushing her arms out as far as they could go as the shock whip started to bend around her saber and arced towards her body.

Kark!

The Zeltron quickly dropped to her haunches and tucked in her head, lightsaber held high as the sparkling strand of woven wires circled above her. She could hear a faint electric hum each time it came around, mesmerizing yet deadly. Aura felt a pull and tilted her weapon as Kelly called back her whip. Disengaging, she quickly stood up and backed away as she readied for another volley. They came one after another.

She kept her distance, dancing away from her opponent’s whip whenever she found herself in range. Kelly didn’t speak, keeping a determined glare on Aura’s lithe figure. Unfortunately, the Zeltron ran out of space, the heel of her boot scraping a broken table as Kelly closed into striking distance. She rapidly ran to her left, the Force screaming at her to flee. She ran two strides before she yelped and fell with a sharp pain in her right buttock, a burst of intense electrical charge surging through her body.

Furniture fell around her as she crashed into a pile of debris. Aura reached out to the Force and numbed the pain, turning off her saber and taking a few deep breaths.

Crack!

“Come and play, Jedi. I know you’re better than this,” Kelly taunted as she snapped her whip again.

Someone once told Aura that compassion was a weakness. She dearly wanted to believe that compassion and kindness worked on Dark Siders. She tried it with Kelly — almost broke through — but it always turned out the same. The Human lashed out, afraid of seeing the Living Force within herself.

See, Lotus? It always fails. Maybe a true Jedi could do it...

Aura pushed aside her fear and anger for the moment and crawled to her hands and knees. She opened her comlink and activated its locator.

“Lotus, this is Dancer. Confirmed sighting. Need backup. Hurry,” whispered the Odanite.

The Zeltron reached out to the Force and pushed the furniture off her, flinging it in the Human’s general direction. She heard at least one satisfying crack as one of them intercepted her whip. Aura let the Force take over and rushed the Plagueian, jumping over the swoosh of another lash and swinging diagonally as she landed away from Kelly’s weapon hand. The Human tracked her, fear in her eyes as she realized her shock whip would not return in time. She turned off and discarded her weapon, then called back her saber, its red blade barely blocking a serious blow.

Kelly quickly followed up with a blade reversal and a follow-up swing. Aura deflected it and moved counter-clockwise, slashing the ground and slicing through the shock whip near the handle as she passed over the fallen weapon. The Zeltron smiled as she saw the Plagueian’s displeasure and swung at her with a flurry of swipes. Kelly deflected the blows and followed up with swings of her own as she stepped backward, fending the Odanite off. Eventually, her heel awkwardly landed on a wooden leg, throwing her balance off for just a moment. Aura pounced, revenge urging her onwards.

Kelly expected it, allowing herself to fall to the side of the Zeltron’s charge. She reached out a hand as she unleashed a vicious discharge of lightning that slammed into Aura’s unprotected side, downing the Jedi as she writhed in pain. Kelly unleashed multiple volleys after she hit the ground, mercilessly pounding the Odanite’s unprotected left side until she exhausted herself. Aura laid on her stomach and moaned in pain, her muscles too weak to pick herself up. Her saber lay unlit by her side.

Kelly got up and sat on top of Aura’s back, the Zeltron crashing back to the floor as she tried to lift herself up. The Plagueian slide a shock collar around Aura’s neck. Pink hands brushed against the cold metal as it snapped into place. Anger was replaced by cold fear.

Relax, the Lotus is coming…

“I thought I was dead back there. A worthy opponent, but you are no match for the power of the Dark Side. Now you will learn some respect, Jedi, or you’ll taste more than just my whip.”

“Why the whips?” mumbled Aura, stalling for time.

“For whipping.”

Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae, 11 July, 2017 3:43 AM UTC

Kelly lashed out at Aura, striking a lash to her saber arm.

From the previous post, this implies she hit Blade. You start the post blocking. I call this Continuity.

Aura pounced, revenge urging her onwards.

revenge for...? Getting her butt whipped (literally?).

The Plagueian slide a shock collar around Aura’s neck.

slid.

Aura screamed out in pain and backed away as the whip slammed into her arm. She was trying really hard not to give into the violent urges she was having. It was a clear sign that Aura still had plenty of work to do if she was to realise her childhood dream. The pheromones had worked, to an extent. It was just a shame they’d not lasted a few seconds longer. The Odanite had been getting through to the Plagueian, but now they had to fight. It was something they would both relish. Aura couldn’t wait to expose Plagueis and Kelly couldn’t wait to put the uppity little Odanite in her place. Aura’s lightsaber almost left her grasp, but the Gray Jedi had just about managed to cling on to it. Kelly smiled at her opposition, knowing they were pretty evenly matched.

The Plagueian thought about picking her lightsaber up and even attempted it. Then it flew away from her and to the far wall of the castle. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise. Aura was rather aggressive in her lightsaber usage, more than Kelly could handle. At leash with the whip, Kelly could keep the Odanite at bay. It would be a struggle for sure, but it was possible. Pulling the whip back, Kelly prepared to unleash it once more. But Aura was not just going to stand still and let herself be struck again.

The Odanite surged forward at what some might call an unnatural pace. Suddenly Aura was face-to-face with the untrustworthy character once more. Calling upon her knowledge of unarmed fighting, Aura struck Kelly with a horizontal blow across her throat. This winded the Plagueian, driving the breath from her. As Kelly dropped to the ground, the Gray Jedi fumbled around. Finally finding what she’d been looking for, Aura brandished her stuncuffs. Working quickly, the Odanite secured them around the Plagueian’s wrists. Smiling at her handiwork, Aura moved so she could see Kelly’s face.

Kelly struggled, but it was in vain. The Jedi hopeful had caught her. Now it was just a case of what would be done with her. Torture was the foremost thought in Kelly’s mind. It’s not like Jedi had never abandoned their principles in times of war before. Though Aura seemed to be more of an ideologue than most. She actually believed in a Jedi way. If that wasn’t the case, the Gray Jedi would have tortured and killed her already. Maybe that was the way to freedom, to remind Aura that while the Odanite wanted to be a Jedi, that’s not where the Gray Jedi’s roots were.

“You know, if you’d asked nicely, and not tried to brainwash me, I’d have given you whatever you need. I mean, after all, Pravus isn’t the real enemy. We are each other’s, enemy. The sight of us ever fighting together is abhorrent to us both. We’re not so different you and me.” Kelly had her head bowed, half expecting to have it lopped off. But it wasn’t. Aura just stood there, unmoved by Kelly’s attempt to show that the two weren’t different. They merely belonged to opposing ideologies. The exact same person, just mirrored. Aura looked like she was going to speak but then paused. After putting her lightsaber away her lips parted once more.

“No, you do what you do for power. What I do I do because the people of the galaxy need protecting from your kind. We’ve seen what happens when you go unchecked.” Aura disavowed any similarities between the two.

“As we have with your kind, you stay isolated, enforcing corrupt regimes. I mean it was Jedi arrogance that allowed the Sith to decimate your numbers.” Kelly retorted, her voice filled with passion.

"You are entitled to be wrong, but you'll never convince me. General Vorsa will help me become a Jedi. She promised so. Maybe she'll even make a Jedi of you yet." Aura lowered the stolen Inquisitor's comlink so that Kelly could speak into it.

"Fine. My name is Kelly Mendes, and I was sent here to kill one of your number by nobody from Plagueis. I came of my own volition. And if you have the guts, you'll make sure I am turned over to the Dread Lord. She could ensure I'm punished more than any amount of cookies and milk you may have."

Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae, 11 July, 2017 3:53 AM UTC

The Odanite surged forward at what some might call an unnatural pace.

What you did there. I saw it. This is clever on a few levels.

We are each other’s, enemy.

Why comma, why!?