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Competition: New Ties: Week 1 Scene Writing 1

Finished

New Ties: Week 1 Scene Writing 1

Write a maximum of 250 words describing Clan Naga Sadow's initial contact with the Temple and its Guardians. Grading will done by both Clans, based on creativity and spelling, as well as staying within the assigned word count.

As with all events of New Ties, the event states "Entire DJB," but is only open to Clan Naga Sadow and Clan Tarentum.

Competition Information

Parent Competition
New Ties: A TAR-CNS Event
Organized by
Reaver Frosty Romanae Tarentae, Augur Sanguinius Tsucyra Entar
Running time
2017-03-20 until 2017-03-27 (8 days)
Target Unit
Entire DJB
Competition Type
Fiction
Awards
Second Level Crescents and Clusters of Ice as per VOICE guidelines
Participants
21 subscribers, of which 15 have participated.

Results

1st place
Battlelord Bentre Kairn'tel Stahoes
Member
Battlelord Bentre Kairn'tel Stahoes
Textual submission

The sound of armor plates moving against each other echoed slightly as he walked, but it did little to mask the sound of the blood pounding in his ear. Kerro shuffled his E-11 Blastech blaster from hand to hand as his visor adjusted to the darker lighting in the passage. While the weathered exterior had appeared to be made of crumbling stone, the passage appeared to be constructed of marble, strangely untouched by time.

“Llook at those carvings,” a woman behind the soldier breathed, “it reminds me of the Ragnos Cathedral.”

“Warhost Command-” snaps and crackle of static cut off words in his comm earpiece, “ -have lost visual contact. Report.”

“Didn’t catch that, Command.”

“Cap….eras…..an’t...ar...epeat…?” An increased level of static buzzed over the commlink.

“Captain Keras here, Team Bantha is inside a large structure. We are going to move in to investigate.” Clicking the As his eyes scanned the walls, Keras noticed an indentation in the wall. The object was a bit larger than his fist. As he shuffled toward the item, the other soldiers seemed to relax slightly. The female soldier, the Captain couldn’t recall her first name, stepped forward as she stretched a hand out slowly to allow her fingers to brush the orb.

“Be careful Omakor. Touching strange objects can be bad around-” the words died in the man’s mouth as the orb began to glow. A scream filled the passage, drowning out all thought.

Placement
1st place
2nd place
Battlelord Hades
Member
Battlelord Hades
Textual submission

"We are here live at the Ruins on Qirool VI. Your fearless reporter, Anna Tanaka, will bring you the events and exploits of Clan Naga Sadow as they happen. Unfortunately, due to the structure and our equipment, we cannot broadcast a full holovid, just audio only. So bare with me folks, I will try to describe everything in detail!"

"Now Peter, as far as we can tell there hasn't been anyone here in quite a long time. Dust coats everything. If you... wait. We are hearing that the Quaestor of Shar Dakhan has found some type of ghosts in a room nearby!" The reporter moves several rooms over towards the Quaestor, Evelyenn Wrym.

"As we converge on the Shar Dakhan Quaestor, we see spectral...Oh, my! There's a screech of some... wait. THEY'RE attacking!" Heavy breathing is heard as the reporter is running for her life. "The ghosts are attacking everyone.. I'm trying to find safety! I'm not sure if you can hear me, Peter, but this is a disaster! I'm trying find a.. wait. NO! STAY AWAY! NO! AAHHHHHH!!!" Ghastly screams can be heard for several more seconds before the comm unit cuts out.

"Anna? Anna? Apparently Clan Naga Sadow's first run in with the Temple isn't going well. Uhh, we'll be right back folks."

Placement
2nd place
3rd place
Battlemaster Evelynn Wyrm
Member
Battlemaster Evelynn Wyrm
Textual submission

The sun scorched the sandy surface of the planet, creating a haze that blurred the ruins below them. As the transport approached the landing site, the newly appointed Quaestor of House Shar Dakhan stood up to debrief her fellow Sadowans. She had demanded leadership of the expedition, and Sanguinius had given her the opportunity to prove herself. Who better to lead an artifact hunt than the power hungry Human Sorceress?

The plan was simple: get in, extract the artifacts, get out. It was so simple that most of the Clan was puzzled as to why we needed half of the warhost present, but Evelynn knew better. Years of solitude had twisted the evil that lies beneath those ruins, creating a power unimaginable by any Sadowan. One wrong step and the whole endeavor could be compromised.

As the transport landed, the Battlemaster stepped onto the hot sand and made her way toward the entrance, closely followed by her clanmates. The stairs led down to a vast open chamber. Pillars with ancient Sith markings prevented the ceiling from collapsing upon them. Evelynn had no idea what they meant, nor did anyone present, but she was sure they would soon find out.

"Flashlights out, we're splitting up," she told the group as she made her way to the left-most doorway. "Keep your comms at the ready, you see anything weird - you report immediately."

With that, she took a step into the darkness ahead, not knowing whether she herself could withstand what lies ahead.

Placement
3rd place
Battlelord Etah Kilij
Member
Battlelord Etah Kilij
Textual submission

Fear was the feeling the crept through the assembled servants of Sadow as they stared at the spectral visages dancing just outside of their collective vision.

Fear was particularly terrifying to the assembled group of stoic Dark Jedi because it’s not a feeling that came naturally to the heirs of Darth Sadow. When you can jump through the air, read people’s minds, move things through the air and block the shot of a laser beam at it races toward you at the speed of light; there are not many things that can surprise you. When few things can kill you, there is only one thing left to fear: the unknown.

The ghost like beings, with blank faces, that floated nearby; looked physically present but in some kind of haze. The rational mind wanted to dismiss them as mere apparitions created by their collective imaginations. Had not this same collection of people laughed in the past when speaking of the Tarentis weird spirit superstitions? How could they be real? How could they be standing in front of them?

‘What, if any, were their capabilities to harm a Dark Jedi’ the Clone Archon thought to himself as the astral choir began to shout. A panic rose as the attack began.

Etah, a Harbinger of terror and a servant of death, smelled their fear from far away. He didn’t know any form of ghosts were involved, he was a reaper; not a sorcerer.

“Prepare the ship,” Etah said into his hologram relay device.

Placement
No placement
Battlelord Jades A Sadow
Member
Battlelord Jades A Sadow
Textual submission

Jade stretched as the Sadowians reached the temple. Her legs slightly stiff from the ride there. A couple of the troopers watched her graceful cat like stretches, their eyes scanning the power and feminine control behind them. The predator in her made her claws itch to play with them like toys, but they were on her side, and she did not attack those who fought on the side of Clan Naga Sadow.

She followed the others into the temple, the force tingling around her. It was a clear warning, that if they kept going they would run into something. But no one seemed to care. Everyone was after the prize. The force users just seemed to take the waves of the force and use it to enhance their abilities.

As they came up upon the main atrium the ghostly blue spectral's seemed to look through their very bodies. One of the troopers sweeped the spectre with his rifle. When there was no response they walked through them. One trooper elbowed another and pointed towards her. The blue holo image lights reflecting in her predatory eyes. Jade smiled showing the tips of her fangs. Though it would have given them some fear, she believed it also gave them some sense of comfort that she was fighting with them, not against them. Her glance moved towards the platform as Evelynn moved onto it. The force screamed a single warning before the cries of the trooper filled the atrium.

Placement
No placement
Battlemaster Jurdan Krennel
Member
Battlemaster Jurdan Krennel
Textual submission

Jurdan Krennel had just arrived on the planet Qirool VI. He had recently transferred from Scholae Palatinae to Clan Naga Sadow out of respect for someone who had saved his life. Evelynn Wyrm had found Jurdan stranded in space, his ship adrift but salvageable. He had been in a firefight on behalf of Scholae and had been left behind. Wyrm picked up his beacon and picked him up. Out of respect for his rescuer he offered his skills as Shar Dahkan Aedile. Jurdan walked into the massive temple that sat before him. He was leading a group of his newest soldiers in an attempt to uncover the secrets of the temple.

Jurdan led the men and women under him into the temple entrance. It was a large atrium that he was walking into. He saw old statues of figures that he didn’t know. Some were fully formed and some were rubble and sand. Jurdan could feel something out of place in this temple. It felt like the Force but strangely odd. Jurdan could hear something coming from inside the temple. It was a moaning. Suddenly he saw it. There were translucent forms coming toward him. They weren’t floating in the air but they seemed to drift over the ground quickly. They came towards him and changed as they got closer. They seemed to transform into a more aggressive form and they started to attack.

Placement
No placement
Augur Ashia Kagan Keibatsu
Member
Augur Ashia Kagan Keibatsu
File submission
Week_1_Scene_Writing_1.doc
Placement
No placement
Battlemaster Armad
Member
Battlemaster Armad
Textual submission

Panic. Confusion.

Warhost soldiers were strategically retreating, running a couple of meters before turning and providing cover fire for the others. Their shots passing right through the spectres even though they knew that it wasn’t effective, they kept doing it to keep their minds focused on the training and not succumb to fear.

Evelynn and Lilith split off from each other once the Warhost soldiers started leap frogging each other in retreat. Each pausing with their groups to focus on the spectres, trying to get a sense of what they were up against. Both realized that the platform had been booby trapped, but Lilith was clueless as to what it had been and why she didn’t see it before it was sprung. Something that vexed her during their retreat back to the atrium.

Evelynn and Lilith burst in the atrium before their soldiers did, immediately yelling orders to run to the technicians who were staring at the access tunnels that the teams had gone down. Moments later, Tasha’Vel and Armad’s group rushed from their tunnel, soldiers first followed closely by Tasha and Armad. Armad was throwing a telekinetic blast back towards the spectres down their tunnel as he exited. Tasha glanced over at Evelynn and Lilith and caught the raised eyebrow from Evelynn, presumably about the Force blast.

“Does that actually work?” Evelynn yelled out. Continuing to run, Tasha shook her head no.

Armad heard the query and saw his partner's response, “It makes me feel better!”

Placement
No placement
Seer Samael Ozriel
Member
Seer Samael Ozriel
Textual submission

The shuttle hummed as the Nihilgenia departed, a perimeter immediately set up before the stone structure dubbed the Temple. Dust kicked up from the hovering vessel, revealing ancient stone paths that met with the staircase leading to heavy stone doors. Tall obelisks sat on either side, a purple and green flame burning at their peak. When the soldier ascended and approached the doors they could see an intricate carving of a craft forgotten by civilized society. Red marble and golden figures adorned the decoration, depicting an act of savage sacrifice. With a hiss and loud groan, the doors opened and revealed the denizens of the Temple. The eyes of the Nihilgenia, covered by helmets, widened in unison as they saw the eyes of their foe.

Rotted and cloudy, vacant dead eyes stared at the black clad troopers as the beings shuffled towards them. Jaws hanging agape, the creatures known as Guardians shuffled slowly forward, their feet scraping against the stone ground. Instincts driving them, the Nihilgenia fired into the crowd before them. The sound of blaster fire evoked a guttural moan from the crowd, who switched from a slow shuffle into a frenzied charge. The prior lackadaisical group became a swarm of vengeance and hatred as it descended on the group, dulled nails and flattened teeth gnashing against their armored opponents. With every shot of a blaster, the Guardians seemed to grow only more determined to gorge on the flesh of their enemies.

Placement
No placement
Savant Lilith Alema'rha Versea-Stormwind
Member
Savant Lilith Alema'rha Versea-Stormwind
File submission
scene_1.doc
Placement
No placement
Grand Master Muz Ashen Keibatsu
Member
Grand Master Muz Ashen Keibatsu
File submission
3714-scene1.txt
Textual submission

The damp scent of old rot filled the still air. Overcast grey skies filtered through the damaged walls and roof of the atrium to blur the fine details from sight. A hand reached out, fingers tracing the intricate carvings of the doorway, the spirals and curves smooth to the touch, fine craftsmanship polished by wind and sand. The sound of boots grinding ancient dust into the stone worked crisply into their ears as each of them moved forward. Something was bothersome, an itch at the periphery of their senses, the vague unease that originated from the deepest recesses of their minds, the unevolved lizard senses of fight or flight confused by the dead.

Motionless, they hung, their facial features blurred like a drawing made by someone who had forgotten what they looked like. Translucent, the dust and light seemed to waft through them. The dais ahead of them seemed like a loose prison, columns from the ceiling to the raised platform spaced out to allow passage but not much else.

When the Savant stepped through, the chill burned through them all as the howl ripped through their ears. Pain, loss, fear, all was as acrid on the tongue as the bitter cold twitched through their senses. The dead moved through them now, tearing bits of their willpower with them on each journey, leaving hollows where it once stood. Their own screams joined in the symphony, all singing the same song without words.

This place was theirs.

Placement
No placement
Warrior Magik
Member
Warrior Magik
Textual submission

They approached the Temple not knowing what was in store. The Temple was vast, deep and dark. They had found it after years of searching. The had landed upon it, it was strange feeling for everyone in Clan. The Temple had been calling to them in dark ways of the force. As they entered cold chills rush through their bodies. They feeling surrounded them as they ascended the entrance. Torches lit as they walked down the cavern, there was no visibility, but they were seeing strange visions. The visions were getting more clear as they got deeper into the Temple. Soon the visions turned into hallucinations and ghost sightings. It was all around them, they were seeing ghosts as they descended the Temple. They only got so far before the ghost turned into incantations. The ghost stories were real, every member of the clan were trembling with fear.
They had to stop not far into there expedition. The ghost came alive, they were not prepared for what was about to happen. The ghost were protecting the Temple, they began to attack members of Naga Sadow. Some of their torches went out, with only a couple torches lit, visibility was impaired. The ghost wallowing the halls with a loud screeching noise. It was so loud they couldn't take it. They had to retreat back to the entrance. Blood drenched their shirts as they scattered back to safety. They had been torn apart, limb by limb.

Placement
No placement
Savant Marcus Kiriyu
Member
Savant Marcus Kiriyu
Textual submission

If Jax would've been able to feel the Force, he might have shivered at the emotions that would then have coursed through his mind. As he could not, all he felt was slightly damp stone as he ran his hands across the walls of the tunnel through which the Sadowan forces wandered.

Multiple status reports came in through the commlinks, as teams of 3 or 4 spread throughout the superstructure. They had chosen the largest of the ruins to explore for what the Force-gifted members called 'a disturbance'. It was unclear to many, including Jax, what this disturbance actually was, but according to the Elders, they'd know it when they see it.

Suddenly one of the status reports was interrupted by triumphant yelling and screaming, followed by a sudden comms blackout. Curiosity getting the better of them, both Sanguinius and Jax agreed to send in a vanguard group which would be armed to the teeth in both scanning equipment, weapons, and experience.

What happened next was pure chaos. The encrypted communication channel with the party remained active, though there was a lot of interference. Screaming, panicked yells, and even weapon's fire translated through the communication devices disturbing the people in charge of the expedition.

With a simple gesture of his hands, Sanguinius ordered a group of Elders to investigate, but they too never returned. Until they emerged from the tombs, attacking their own friends and even family. It was time for a new solution, to call for aid from friends.

Placement
No placement
Augur Locke Sonjie
Member
Augur Locke Sonjie
File submission
ShortFiction1.docx
Placement
No placement
Privateer Vosiri Lightscrest
Member
Privateer Vosiri Lightscrest
File submission
Vosiri4993.docx
Textual submission

The night was dark and the air was thick. All the smells of the forest, animals, and excrement clung to the humid air. The large group had been traveling for hours since their landing. They marched on towards their objective. On the horizon they saw a large pyramid shaped structure.
“This is it!” Vosiri thought as they reached the location.
His amazement was interrupted by a muffled scream. Quckly turning around, he saw one of the soldiers with the group crumple to the ground in a bloody heap. The remaining soldiers opened fire on the assailant. The dark obscured his vision, but he could make out a silhouette of a large bipedal creature. The creature looked as if it was wielding a large weapon….

Placement
No placement