Competition: [CA:CW] Punny Poem

Finished
[CA:CW] Punny Poem

Show me your pun skills by writing the punniest poem possible. Any topic you like, but topics involving Arcona will be considered higher than those that don't!

Graded on how punny it is.

Any format acceptable!

Competition Information
Parent Competition
[Arcona] Captain Arcona: Civil War
Organized by
General Stres'tron'garmis
Running time
2016-01-09 until 2016-01-26 (18 days)
Target Unit
Clan Arcona
Competition Type
Poetry
Awards
Third Level Crescents
Participants
7 subscribers, of which 3 have participated.
Results
Member
Ghost Rulvak Qurroc
File submission
Punny_Poem.txt
Textual submission

Hope you like it!

Placement
1st place
2nd place
Braecen Kaeth
Member
Braecen Kaeth
Textual submission

They call us the First Clan
It's not that we came first
But if winning came from a can
You can't stop our thirst

Our chat room can't be wood
because our conversation is fire
The words lead to no good
And draw the DC's ire

We are running these streets
paved in medals and promos
Got time left over for eats
so we stop for some Froyos

It's better than ice cream
And we sprinkle it with crescents
Like the Grinch, Clans call use mean
Take their awards, we steal their presents

Like a bank accountant,
Totals add up, we are amount-in'
First Clan interest, cuz
We King of this Mountain

Placement
2nd place
3rd place
Ossk
Member
Ossk
Textual submission

I'm Kordath the Paranoid Rollmaster
And I think i'll have to run faster
'Cos some of me mates
Want me on their plates
Washed down with a Sonic Screwdriver

I know by their glances so fleetin'
That there's evil intent in their greetin'
So i'm watching them
Watching me watching them
While I finish the new story i'm scriptin'

Placement
3rd place