CLAN NAGA SADOW

MAY 19, 2009

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This report should be read only by those persons to whom it is addressed. If you have received this report it was obviously addressed to you and therefore you can read it, even if I didn’t mean to send it to you. However, if the contents of this report make no sense whatsoever or you do not find the humor in it then you probably were not the intended recipient or, you are a mindless cretin; either way, you should immediately delete yourself & destroy your computer! Once you have taken this action please contact me.. no you idiot, you can’t use your computer, you just destroyed it, and by the way, you are also deleted, but I digress......

The Originator of this report is not liable for the transmission of the information contained in this report, unless they are the originator in which case they probably are liable and rightly so considering the content of the aforementioned report.

In the event that the originator did not send this report to you, then please return it to us and attach a scanned-in picture of your mothers brothers wife pet wearing nothing but hot pants, and we will immediately refund you exactly half of what you paid for the can of Pringles you bought when you went to Walmart yesterday.

I take no responsibility for non-receipt of this report because I am running Windows Vista & everyone knows how glitchy that can be. In the event that you do get this report then please note that I take no responsibility for that either. Nor will I accept any liability, tacit or implied, for any damage you may or may not incur as a result of receiving, or not, as the case may be, from time to time, notwithstanding all liabilities implied or otherwise, ummm, crap, where was I..umm, no matter what happens, IT's NOT, and NEVER WILL BE, MY FAULT!

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HOUSE MARKA RAGNOS QUAESTOR

As everyone is well aware, our very own Grand Master Paladin was chosen as the newest Deputy Grand Master of the Dark Brotherhood. I would like to personally thank him for all his hard work and dedication to our Clan in his short term as Quaestor. '

Krath Archpriestess Jades A Sadow has been promoted as the newest Quaestor of House Mark Ragnos. She has been a long serving member of our Clan and I believe we can all expect great things from her.

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OPEN POSITIONS

We have a few opportunities for people whom are interested to step up and become leaders of Clan Naga Sadow.

HOUSE MARKA RAGNOS AEDILE: For those who believe their qualified, get those applications in.

JADE SERPENTS BATTLETEAM LEADER: A great opportunity to begin your leadership experience; Contact Quaestor Tsingtao and Aedile Sai of House Ludo Kressh.

SAPPHIRE SQUADRON COMMANDER: Where it all began. Want to follow in the footsteps of Bob, become a Commander of Sapphire; Contact Quaestor Tsingtao and Aedile Sai of House Ludo Kressh.

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FRACTURED MIRROR

http://web.me.com/banditx1979/Fractured_Mirror/Welcome.html

The Warm Up continues with some nice participation, I’m really enjoying reading everyone’s counterpart WIKI pages. We need more, create your own if you haven’t.

http://www.darkjedibrotherhood.com/wiki/index.php?title=Category:Fractured_Mirror

Week One will begin Sunday May 31st.

At that time the official storyline will begin with all new events such as fiction, graphics, trivia, and a brand new Run On. Proconsul Ashura has done a great job with this and it should be fun.

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CONCLUSION

A big Naga Sadow welcome to Marcus Kiriyu, Jinius Griffin, Strigoi Ahriman, Darius Bane, KAsoKAzEN, Ghostwolf4, Shydus Cruciferaus, and Angral.

Some Big Sadow congrats goes out to newly promoted Acolyte Jinius Griffin and Novice Marcus Kiriyu!

As well as Jedi Hunter Demonic and Dark Jedi Knight Krandon!

And finally, another shout out to all those who received some nice medals for their hard work and dedication to Clan Naga Sadow during the Great Jedi War, thank you all.

This week while hunkering down on my favorite barstool at my local watering hole, somebody overheard me order my eighth Gin Buck and asked perhaps the strangest question to ever cross my ears:

"Bob, don't you think you've been drinking too much?"

Shock and surprise came over my flushed and drunken face. Me? How dare you, sir? How dare you, indeed. Are you suggesting the possibility that I, Sith Warlord Robert Sadow, am an alcoholic?

You see sober, the world is a cold and unfeeling place, purely analytical and brutal to those who thrive on chaos and tom-foolery. As a Sith and a poorly paid Consul, I thrive on such things. Without the benefit of booze, most others like me would never be able to sharpen that finelycrafted edge of wit or think of witty anecdotes and/or outright lies on the fly.

No, life without booze would be a horrible, terribly hellish life that I cannot even fathom living in. Granted, every morning I wake up with a mouth that feels like I've been chewing on cigarette flavored sandpaper, a headache that explodes behind my eyes with each and every grueling step towards the bathroom, and the approaching dread that I did something somewhere to someone so horribly embarrassing that the mere thought of even trying to THINK of what I must have done last night in a drunken stupor forces me to erase all contacts and text messages in my cellphone so I'll never, ever, ever have to own up to it, I think to myself,

"You know, maybe I SHOULD stop drinking. Is it really worth all this?"

Then the Bloody Mary kicks in, and I'm back in fighting form.

Sith Warlord Robert Sadow

Clan Naga Sadow Consul