OPM Alaris Jinn vs. DA Teroch Erinos Arconae

Obelisk Primarch Alaris Jinn

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Taldryan
Male Twi'lek, Obelisk, Seeker
vs.

Dark Side Adept Teroch Erinos Arconae

Elder 1, Elder tier, Clan Arcona
Male Kiffar, Obelisk, Shadow
Comment

Thank you for your participating in ACC: Fading Light, and for writing such an enjoyable battle to read (if hard to grade!).

This ultimately came down to Alaris writing a very creative final post, and more accurately depicting the characters involved in the combat, but the judgment was very close.

Syntax: 4-3, Alaris. Alaris made very few mistakes and nothing that really detracted from the reading of the battle.
Story: 4-5, Teroch. Teroch very detailed combat in both posts with a good twist. Alaris wrote the better of the two final posts due to the creativity shown. This was a very close category, and is not nearly as far apart as some 4-5 judgments in story can be.., almost a dead heat.
Realism: 5-3, Alaris. Alaris here really shined, incorporating Feats and Aspects from different characters and properly reflecting Force power strength in very interesting ways.
Continuity: 5-5. No issues for either of you.

Great match guys, thanks!

Hall Fading Light
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants OPM Alaris Jinn, DA Teroch Erinos Arconae
Winner OPM Alaris Jinn
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
OPM Alaris Jinn's Character Snapshot Snapshot
DA Teroch Erinos Arconae's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Begeren – Desert Wasteland, Co-Op
Last Post 6 June, 2014 2:29 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Telaris "Mav" Cantor
Syntax - 15%
Sashar Erinos Arconae Adept Alaris Jinn
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: Multiple issues, see comments. First part of final post had errors that got in the way of reading. Rationale: Minor issues, e.g. dialogue formatting
Story - 40%
Sashar Erinos Arconae Adept Alaris Jinn
Score: 5 Score: 4
Rationale: Very detailed, including combat. Nice twist at the end. Rationale: Very creative, enjoyable final post. First post could have used detail at one point, but overall very good.
Realism - 25%
Sashar Erinos Arconae Adept Alaris Jinn
Score: 3 Score: 5
Rationale: Did not get a solid feel for Alaris as a character. Force Lightning damage described as exploding flesh, when canon sources do not appear to grant it this ability. Rationale: Great use of feats from both CSes, Aspects from each.
Continuity - 20%
Sashar Erinos Arconae Adept Alaris Jinn
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues. Rationale: No issues
Sashar Erinos Arconae's Score: 4.2 Adept Alaris Jinn's Score: 4.45
Posts

Combat Master’s Note: Because you are matches against a member of your Clan, this battle takes on a unique format. You will be encountering Janni Kuran with an ally. Treat Janni Kuran as you would any other ACC opponent. You WILL be judged using the ACC rubric, so the person posting the best story will move on to subsequent rounds. If you wish to fight your Clanmate as well, you may, but this is not in any way a requirement.

Begeren. Once a prosperous Sith world, it has been the site of numerous battles throughout the millennia. Grand halls and monuments were torn down and re-purposed by looting Republic forces thousands of years ago, before they were driven from the planet. Isolated settlements still dot the planet's surface, but the inhospitable, craggy, and desert-like terrain, along with the beasts common to many desert and Sith worlds, have kept most humanoids from colonizing. Occasional skirmishes have left debris scattered throughout the desert, and battles were fought here as recently as the Galactic Civil War. The planet is now under the control of the One Sith and is rumored to be full of all manner of priceless, ancient Sith artifacts.

The Dark Council has pushed forth to Begeren and the Grand Master, on his quest for ever more powerful items, has decreed the Clans and Houses seize anything of value. The unity shown by the Brotherhood during the beginning of this Crusade is fracturing, with the Clans and Houses growing tired and frustrated with the seemingly endless succession of battles. Tempers are flaring between former allies, with outright aggression no longer uncommon. Despite this, you have responded to the Grand Master's call—though whether it's to actually seize the items for the Brotherhood, destroy them, or use them for your own purposes, only you know.

NPC Character Sheet: One Sith Adept Janni Kuran

By chance, you and an ally have followed the call of the Force to a stretch of desert wasteland, seemingly unremarkable save for the various rock outcroppings that dot the landscape. These outcroppings, though, hide a subterranean cave network, known to be a den of wraids. Though the entrances to the caverns are typically narrow and dark, these tunnels quickly widen. Below the surface, bioluminescent plants and lichen provide limited light.

You know that, even if you and your compatriot are alone in the desert, you won’t be for long. An ancient Sith tomb is located deep within the caves the wraids now call home, and the One Sith are keenly aware of its location. With the Brotherhood’s invasion, the One Sith are scrambling to recover their most powerful artifacts. Exactly what you’ll find in that tomb, you’re not sure—but it is something of great power, that you can sense. You know it is your duty to find it, whatever it is, though what you do with it… that is up to you.

As the two of you near one of the entrances to the caves, you think you hear the sounds of footsteps, or maybe skittering, down below—and above ground, you hear the crunch of rock underfoot as someone else has found a different rocky cave entrance, as well.

“We’re not alone.”

Alaris breathed in the slightest moisture from the cave, and it tasted sweet as it crossed his tongue. He realized, all of a sudden, that he had become quite thirsty. The two Arconans had been rationing their water with great prudence, but the Twi’lek felt the urge to take a sip from his canteen.

His compatriot took the opportunity to do the same. “Where?” Teroch asked, after swallowing the water.

“Close.”

Very close.

A tickle was all the information the Force gave the Twi’lek, but that was enough. He pressed himself against the cave wall and a bolt scorched the air where he had been standing. He pushed against the rocks and spun, igniting his lightsaber in a flourish. He clumsily deflected a few shots into the ground and saw Teroch, or rather his red blade, doing the same beside him.

The firing stopped abruptly and both Obelisks took stock of their opponent. The light from outside the cave trickled in and she took a few steps forward into the light. Her crimson skin had some shine to it.

Zeltron.

Both Alaris and Teroch smiled and lowered their weapons slightly. Alaris kept his legs lightly coiled, but Teroch relaxed almost completely, as if he had forgotten he had just been defending himself.

“Where do I know her from?” The young Kiffar asked absentmindedly.

“The briefing?” Alaris shot back, trying to pull his associate out from the Zeltron’s pheromone spell, though he, himself, was feeling the effects. “She’s a Zeltron, Erinos. Snap out of it,” he said, trying to convince himself as much as Teroch.

The woman, who Alaris assumed was the One Sith Adept, Janni Kuran, looked directly at the Twi’lek and cocked her head. “You don’t find me attractive?” She spoke the words in Alaris’s native tongue, only just loud enough to be heard over the hums of the red and green blades, both of which were now hanging almost lazily from the Arconans’ hands.

Alaris sneered. He did find her attractive, and it was all he could do to pull his gaze away from her to his young partner. “Teroch, she needs to die. Now.”

The flash of violet was Alaris’s only warning of an attack. The woman flung herself at the slightly smaller Twi’lek. The cavern was cramped, but her tumble was tight and deliberate. Alaris deflected the blade that came in an upward strike, but found himself deflecting another slash far sooner than he had anticipated. Kuran forced him backward toward the entrance of the cave with her short jabs and slices. The Primarch’s blade finally started to keep pace with the attacks, but he knew it wouldn’t be for long.

Alaris occasionally caught a glance of Teroch blinking and shaking his head, but with the brilliant speed of the Zeltron coming down on him, he wasn’t so sure that he would even survive long enough to see Teroch begin to fight. He was beginning to lose ground again and it was only a matter of time before she drove him out to the sands. He would be able to draw on significantly more of his offensive ability outside the claustrophobic confines of the cavern, but he knew the strikes coming at him as well as if he were performing them himself. He needed Teroch.

“Erinos!” He yelled at the Kiffar as the rocks beneath his feet were beginning to get a light layer of sand. “Any time would be good.”

He noted the One Sith sneer briefly and then spin just in time to catch and deflect what would have otherwise been a killing blow from a crimson saber. Both Twi’lek and Kiffar danced around Zeltron, attacking in what appeared to be well choreographed tandem. Their quarry didn’t appear to look at either opponent. She stood strong, eyes slightly glazed, and deflected and parried almost every swing, slash, and jab from the Arconans. Those she didn’t defend, she managed several jaw-dropping dodges against, catching only a slight singe on her combat pants.

Alaris was convinced that the fight was their's when she let out a whistle. It wasn’t audible, but Alaris could feel it flow through the dark side. He slowed his own attacks for long enough to reach out and touch the minds of three beasts who had slowly crawled their way to the entrance that sat only meters away. He wasn’t familiar with the minds, but he wasn’t sure he was going to enjoy what was coming their way.

Alaris disengaged from Kuran completely to face the exit to the sun-soaked desert. A large reptilian creature poked its head into Alaris’s view and forced the Twi’lek to blink madly for a moment. “Uh, Erinos. Problem.”

The beast didn’t give Alaris time to do or say anything else before it sprang down into the cave, its prey raising a green blade to defend himself.

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 15 June, 2014 9:40 PM UTC

Syntax: dodges against what?

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 15 June, 2014 7:22 PM UTC

Syntax: Minor issues with dialogue formatting.

Her skin shone with a deep-hued incandescence. Every move bespoke untold grace, unparalleled beauty, and the promise of the answer to all his fantasies. Teroch didn’t even glance towards Alaris, who was frantically evading an Akk. Two more stalked in and circled either side, pushing the Primarch further into the subterranean depths, away from Janni and her quarry.

He grinned as she turned to regard him appraisingly, her eyes glittering like chips of black glass. Slowly, the Zeltron approached Teroch, deactivating her saber. Her hips swayed, her dark hair catching the breeze and billowing.

Perfection.

“You won’t fight me.” She breathed, moving close to Teroch, her voice smoky heat.

The Mandalorian deactivated his own saber and threw it carelessly aside, drawing towards her, lust overcoming him-

“Nope.” Janni chided, placing a hand on his chest, keeping him at bay.

At her touch, his heart skipped. “If you are to have me, show me what you can do. Kill the Twi’lek. Bring me his head. I’ll be collecting the prize.”

He nodded instantly, called his saber to hand and went in pursuit of Alaris.

“Run, young one! And run as fast as you can!” Her voice had hardened to crystal as she gave the command, tinkling laughter following it as Teroch moved to a dead sprint.

-=[]=-

Alaris avoided the swipe of another huge clawed paw, blood trickling from his shoulder. The creatures were massive and lightsabers seemed to barely faze them. He knew that he’d already be dead if they’d wanted it. However, the creatures merely seemed to be pushing him further into the catacombs. Hope had toyed with the edges of his frayed patience when he’d spotted a group of wraids, but they’d opted to stay away from the larger Akk dogs, though.

Damn Teroch! He’s a better swordsman than that paltry display before. She must’ve got to him; there’s no way we’d have not been able to take her down together. Where is he?

There was a blur of orange as Teroch leapt over the Akks in a preternatural display of acrobatics. He landed between Alaris and the creatures, but turned his back on them. Strangely, the creatures didn’t tear him to pieces.

His saber flicked out and Alaris let the Force careen through his veins, allowing him the alacrity to lean backwards and avoid it.

“What the hell are you doing?” He demanded, hastily bringing his saber up in a sloppy high guard.

“I’m collecting your shab’la head.” Teroch snarled in return, his face contorted with misplaced fury.

Teroch advanced, his eyes aflame. Fraternity licked out repeatedly, each time going for a slash at the neck. Alaris endured the onslaught, thankful that the akk dogs had backed away and pushed at the youth’s mind. There were lingering tendrils of the Force still riddling his mind - the Erinos had indeed come under Kuran’s spell.

“Is this what Sashar’s progeny is reduced to? Some slave for a nymphomaniac Zeltron with a disturbing attraction towards quadrupeds?”

Teroch’s eyes narrowed in hate. Mentioning Sashar had definitely hit the mark. The avalanche of blows and stabs intensified.

“You’re constantly acting the martyr in the Arcona. Just one mistake after another, each time undoing years of your father’s work. Is that all you’ll ever amount to? A series of bad choices?”

Teroch let out a howl of anger and threw everything he had at the Primarch.

Just a little more…

“The great son of Sashar Erinos, merely a puppet, just a plaything. Nothing more than a tool.” Alaris sneered through the brawl.

Something changed in the Adept. He stopped dead, his shoulders heaving from exertion. Conflict raged within him. Just glimpsing through the Force at the boy was like looking at a supernova contained in a bottle. The next few seconds were crucial.

“Are you going to let her get away with playing you like that?” Alaris asked quietly, knowing just the right amount of pressure to push him with.

Hollering inarticulately, Teroch turned and launched himself at the Akks. They were ready. A mezzay of snarling, razor mouths and long claws raked out at him, but the boy was a blur, the Force burning through him like a conflagration, guiding his motions, his saber only an afterthought to his deadliness. He landed atop the nearest creature and tried to stab his saber through the tough carapace, but the blade merely slid aside, leaving a black scour. Frustrated, he leapt from its back and landed in a crouch before the middle Akk. The massive animal opened its mouth, ready to snap its huge jaws down around Teroch’s head. He lunged freakishly fast, stabbing his saber in the monster’s mouth, burying his arm in its gaping jaws. The Akk slumped down, already dead, and the Obelisk moved up, neatly avoiding having his back broken by the first creature’s swinging tail. Mid-jump, the youth jutted out a hand and peppered the last monster with Lightning. It stunned the Akk, but it lived.

His lips curled back over his teeth in a baleful rictus as he kept up the assault, undulating lances of lightning striking the eyes-

The cranium exploded under the onslaught, showering Teroch in blood and grey matter. He ignored it and turned back to the first of the hound, which had only just managed to pivot to face him, its menacing growl reverberating in the youth’s chest.

He grinned, unslung his concussion rifle, then let loose a blast. The Akk’s head took the brunt of the assault. The carapace didn’t buckle but the beast still slumped to the floor, twitching. Blood poured from its eyes and between its teeth. The blast had obviously turned its insides to mush, even if it hadn’t been able to pierce the Akk’s flesh.

Shoulders heaving, Teroch discarded the rifle and pulled off his jacket, wiping some of the gore from his face and chest with it, then threw that aside too. “Let’s go kill us a slut-bucket, shall we?”

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 15 June, 2014 9:32 PM UTC

Realism: Lightning shouldn't really be exploding flesh here.

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 15 June, 2014 9:11 PM UTC

Syntax: Some missing/confusing punctuation or extraneous word choice.

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 15 June, 2014 7:22 PM UTC

Syntax: Minor issues with dialogue formatting.

She could hear the footfalls on the rocky ground behind her. She knew she would have to pick up the pace in order to outrun the Obelisk Arconans. With her pets gone, she was no match for the two men. She rounded a corner and into a wide cavern. The bioluminescence filled the room with a blue haze. A creeping mist covered the floor of the chamber. Kuran could feel its moisture around her ankles. She darted through the larger expanse and realized very quickly that the trail she left in the fog would give away her position if she attempted to hide. She had two choices now: run deeper into the caverns or turn and fight.

She chose the latter.

She turned and her violet saber violently burst back into life. She stood with her feet shoulder width apart and held her saber loosely in her fingers. Her shoulders were square with the entrance to the cavern and she was already staring intently when Alaris Jinn and Teroch Erinos ran around the corner into the chamber.

They slowed to a stop and the young Kiffar sneered at the Zeltron woman. “Nice trick, whore.” He lifted his left hand and Kuran quickly tried to shield her eyes, but the blast of light that burst from Teroch’s hand had done its damage. Janni blinked wildly, trying to restore her sight. She knew at this moment that her life was forfeit. She dropped to her knees. Tears streamed down from their ducts. The flash slowly melted away and she looked up again and could only make out one figure. It was taller than either of the Arconans who were there before; and broader.

As she felt her sight restored, she could begin to decipher the person’s face and recognized the trademarked mask of her master, Darth Krayt. He must have awoken from his long slumber overseen by Lord Wyyrlok. Without warning, she was filled with an intense dread.

He is here to kill me for my failure.

The extreme horror flooded her and her arms began to tremble. Her eyes widened and dripped with fear. She tried to speak - to apologize; plead - but nothing came out of her mouth. It was as if the Force itself were keeping her tongue in check.

“I’ve come to bring you home, Janni.” His voice seemed distant. She had never heard him speak. It wasn’t nearly as commanding as she had imagined. As if Krayt were listening to her thoughts, he spoke again, in a deeper, forceful tone. “You will return with me to Korriban. You have done well for me, my child.”

She felt a sudden relief and bowed her head to the Dark Lord of the Sith. “Thank you, my Lord.”

When she looked up again, Krayt was gone. In his place was the blue Twi’lek she had previously thought was Akk fodder, standing arms wide and empty handed. She felt a moment of anger, but then the visage spoke.

“I must take this form, my child. Others from the heretic Brotherhood will come, and we cannot allow them to know that I am here.” His eyes blazed with amber.

She knew he was speaking the truth immediately. It made perfect sense. She had forgotten that Darth Krayt was capable of such devious illusions. Of course he was, he was Dark Lord of the Sith.

“You will not need your lightsaber any longer, my child.”

She tossed it into the fog without a second thought. Darth Krayt would protect her. He always had, and he always will. She was so infinitely sure of this that even as another form shivered in front of her eyes, she did not fear. Even as the Kiffar stared straight into her eyes, she did not fear. As she felt the trench knife enter her chest through her fourth and fifth ribs, she did not fear.

She fell to the ground and blood began to fill her lungs. She coughed up black and red liquid yet her face remained perfectly serene. It wasn’t until both Teroch and Alaris were both looking down at her did she understand what had happened. Her mind was suddenly clear just long enough before the black took her to perceive just how terribly she had failed.

“It’s a shame she was too dangerous to keep alive.” Alaris spoke matter-of-factly as he studied her dying face. “She would have made an excellent tool.”

“Nobody fraks with my mind, Jinn.” Teroch turned and began to tread deeper into the caverns.

Alaris looked up after him and let one side of his mouth curl into a maniacal grin.

“Indeed.”

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 15 June, 2014 9:18 PM UTC

Story: Bit with the image of Krayt a bit unclear - Janni sees the two, then gets blinded momentarily, then is surprised to see Alaris, thinking he was akk food - but she had just seen him. Very minor.

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 15 June, 2014 7:29 PM UTC

Realism: Real cool use of Illusion here. Seems accurate based on length.

Janni Kuran winced as the final telepathic link with her pets snapped from existence. Their last moments had been filled with a startling cacophony of anger and pain. The pretty one must’ve broken free from her compulsion. It changed things dramatically. She’d had chance to feel out his strength when laying overlapping forms of control onto him The boy was strong. A power unaware of itself, untempered by maturity. She’d have fun breaking him slowly for what he did to her Akks.

Turning back to the matter at hand, she stared at the three relics before her. It had not been easy getting to them; having to swim through a small subterranean lake filled with those shoals of vicious fanged fish. They’d tasted her blood, and were still out there. The Force itself only knew how she’d get back unscathed. Crystals dotted the ceiling high above, each shining like a pinprick in the raiment of heaven, the light glinting off two of the three artifacts. Only one wasn’t a trap; of that, she was sure. The Sith wouldn’t leave them on display like this without there being a catch. On one side, there was what appeared to be a Sith Holocron, pyramid-like in shape, with a glowing red ruby pulsing a tempting light. On the other, a lightsaber, ancient but still-regal. Both were obviously lures. In the middle, a scrap of paper, its writings indistinguishable. Janni hesitantly reached out to grab the tattered fragment-

“Pink whorebag! Front and centre!” A voice called out behind her. “I’m afraid your mind-raping-tit-vision didn’t play out, but don’t fret, we have a consolation prize for you! Come and claim it!”

Alaris rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, but said nothing. If Teroch drew most of the attention, then he’d stand a better chance of surviving the next few minutes. Both were sodden from swimming through the lake after her, and numerous lacerations from the fish peppered their bodies. Teroch had discarded his jacket and mail shirt before the swim. Janni felt a pang of regret at having to destroy such a handsome specimen, but there’d be others. There always were.

“Oh come now,” The Zeltron chided, walking towards them, icy and inexorable, like an avalanche. “Surely fair’s fair. You bested my hounds. You deserve a reward, both of you.” The last was saved for Alaris, who looked about to say something, but shook his head, his lekku writhing from the effort of resisting her.

Teroch took a step forward, his eyes glazing over, his stance abruptly casual. Sighing, the Primarch cuffed his clan-mate upside the head. “Fool boy. Remember what she’s capable of. Hold onto your anger.”

The Adept’s smile turned into a snarl, and he unclipped his lightsaber, igniting the blade. Alaris mirrored him.

Janni grimaced in vexation. She’d nearly had the boy again, and together, they’d be able to dispatch the Twi’lek with ease. Together, they’d murder her. She had to take the older one out first. It was her only play left. The Force energised her and she charged forward, her own purple blade stabbing to life. They came to meet her.

Teroch reached her first. He leapt up, swinging his blade as he landed in a strong overhead that’d have split her from the crown of her head to her stomach. Kuran back-pedalled, evading the swipe, and brought her blade around, catching the Twi’lek’s own horizontal slash, designed to take her arm off at the shoulder. Hissing in vexation, she reached out telepathically, abandoning all attempts at subtlety and stabbed at the boy’s mind, filling it with thoughts of lust, base desires, distrust for his clanmate, all twisted in hate.

He flinched and hesitated. Alaris, seeing this, barked, “Erinos! Focus!”

Teroch’s resolve firmed. He resumed his assault. Janni screamed in frustration, just able to keep the youth at bay. Alaris moved laterally and kept up his own attack, forcing her further and further back towards the raised dais upon which sat the artifacts. Her back bounced against it, and she screamed once again, letting her full telepathic arsenal loose in a last-ditch storm. Both were buffeted by it, the amorous thoughts and murmurs of distrust blasting apart their mental barriers.

Teroch stopped, his head spinning, and Alaris seemed little better.

“He’s only using you so he can have me to himself! Kill him!” Janni ordered, her voice shrill enough to break glass.

With a shout, Teroch swung his blade at Alaris, who barely managed to parry him. He backed up, giving the Erinos some distance.

“She’s using you, Teroch-”

“And you’re not?!” the Adept hollered back, his voice cracking.

“You are Arconae! You are Teroch Erinos! Are you just going to roll over for her?!”

Teroch winced, conflict visibly warring within. “And what has Arcona done for me?! That shab’la Clan cost me my Father, has ordered me killed four times, and what do I get in return?! Nothing! Gar shab’ika!”

He launched himself at Alaris, whose eyes widened at the speed the Adept moved, Lightning balling in his free hand.

Di’kut’la shab’la mir’osik! I’ll tear your shab’la lungs out you demagolka hut’uun!” The steady stream of invectives kept up as Teroch smashed aside the Primarch’s guard and slammed a lightning-charged fist into Alaris’s chest, knocking him to the floor, arcs of electricity playing over his skin.

Smiling in satisfaction, Janni walked towards Teroch, her voice cooing in satisfaction. “Good job, you chose wise-”

She was cut off when Teroch’s free hand jutted out and buried a trench knife in her chest. “I’m nobody’s pet, bitch.”

Janni crumpled to the floor, life leaving her as quickly as the fight fled from Teroch. He nearly collapsed himself, his mind a wreck. He moved over to Alaris and checked his pulse. It had been enough to knock him out, but the blow hadn’t killed the Aedile. Looking over at the dais, he cracked a pained grin.

“Gee, I wonder which one’s not going to kill me.”

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 15 June, 2014 9:18 PM UTC

Story: Nice twist!

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 15 June, 2014 7:31 PM UTC

Syntax: Some sentences read a bit awkwardly, either due to missing words or punctuation

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 15 June, 2014 9:34 PM UTC

Syntax: Vexation repeated in subsequent paragraphs