Warlord Granta Prackx vs. Knight Lucine Vasano

Warlord Granta Prackx

Equite 4, Equite tier, Unaffiliated
Female Human, Sith, Juggernaut
vs.

Knight Lucine Vasano

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Arcona
Female Human, Sith, Seeker
Comment

Lucine, this was a fun match to read and I quite enjoyed it. I left a few comments for you above, particularly as it concerns action and showing a tell for Illusion. Check them out. Overall, I think you did a good job. The descriptions, dialogue, and setup made for an interesting story. Good match.

Andrelious, you had a good match as well, particularly with the fighting portions. You have gotten the flow of battle done quite well. I think you can work on flushing out the details of the story more to give the reader more context so try to work on that moving forward. Overall, another pretty good match for you. Keep it up!

Overall, the winner of this match is Lucine Vasano. Realism and a better story score gave you the win in the end. Thank you both for taking the time to write this story. I enjoyed reading it. Good job to both of you and see you again next time!!

~Aura Ta'var

Hall Duelist Hall - Ranked
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Warlord Granta Prackx, Knight Lucine Vasano
Winner Knight Lucine Vasano
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Warlord Granta Prackx's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Knight Lucine Vasano's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Coruscant: Level 1313
Last Post 18 September, 2017 9:56 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Aurora "Aura" Ta'var
Syntax - 15%
Deleted Lucine Vasano
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: Generally clean posts but a small handful of simple errors here and there. Rationale: Generally clean posts but a small handful of simple errors here and there.
Story - 40%
Deleted Lucine Vasano
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: This story had many positives and was on its way to a 4, but it lacked the extra details in the narration (motives/purpose) to really fill out the story and bring it life. This "significant context" is key to attaining a higher story ranking. Nevertheless, you did well in the fighting portions. Rationale: Despite the general lack of action and the confusion with the use of Illusion in your second post (see post comments), this is still a 4. You had a great setup, great dialogue, and good descriptions. You also provided "significant context" to really make me feel for your character.
Realism - 25%
Deleted Lucine Vasano
Score: 3 Score: 5
Rationale: 1 major detractor, see the lightsaber wound comment in your second post. Rationale: No issues.
Continuity - 20%
Deleted Lucine Vasano
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues. Rationale: No issues.
Deleted's Score: 3.55 Lucine Vasano's Score: 4.45
Posts

Coruscant Level 1313

So named because it is located one thousand, three hundred, and thirteen levels from the core of Coruscant, Level 1313 is distanced from the politics of the upper levels. Overlooking the chasm burrowing further into Coruscant’s core, one can watch freighters transporting their illicit cargo between levels. One misstep would send the careless careening into the bottomless pit, or aid the local gangs in staging “accidents.”

Weathered duracrete forms the retainer along the chasm wall, built in concentric rings that descend down an untold height. Strengthened with solid durasteel braces, maintenance has not been needed this far into Coruscant for a long time. Nevertheless, droids pre-programmed to fill in the cracks and crevices that might form in the walls float on repulsorlifts without drawing attention from the criminal gangs; themselves, being focused on their next smuggling operation or struggle for control over Coruscant’s scum-filled underbelly.

Of course they are late, Lucine thought with a sigh as she checked the glowing numbers on her datapad. I am beginning to think that all gang members are physically incapable of being on time. She despised being made to wait. Her eyes fell upon the Togruta who was standing nearby. She called to him, “Do they usually take this long to arrive?”

Peppa offered her an oily smile and a shrug. “Sadly, yes. It's tedious, I know, but I'm afraid all we can do is wait. They'll be here, I assure you. If you'd prefer to wait with the transport, my boys and I can handle the exchange.”

“I think not. My client wants to know more about your process before we have any further negotiations regarding our smuggling agreement. Especially given some of the more... concerning reports regarding your product,” Lucine replied.

“Of course, of course. I am sure you will find everything to be to your satisfaction,” the Togruta replied, though the briskness of his tone made it clear he was displeased. As a lieutenant for the Low City Spice Lords, he was clearly unaccustomed to being subjected to oversight.

Lucine made note of the Togruta's annoyance, but could not bring herself to care. She herself was too annoyed at the situation. She had vowed never to return to Coruscant, yet here she was, negotiating a smuggling agreement to bolster her clan's coffers before the war.

While she did not like the fact that she had been ordered to return to her home planet, she was determined to succeed in her mission. Her research had indicated the Low City Spice Lords would be the best gang to deal with, but she had heard some less than flattering rumors regarding the quality of the spice they sold. It had prompted her to insist on seeing their process in its entirety, even if it meant having to spend more time on the abominable planet.

At least it is highly unlikely that I will run into anyone I know, she thought with a quick glance toward the upper levels, where the nobility lived. Where her sister lived, with her new husband. The thought stoked the flame of rage that constantly burned within her chest. She let none of that rage show on her face; it would not do to advertise her emotions.

At last, a cargo sled emerged from one of the access tunnels and began trundling towards them. The grunts Peppa had brought with him, twin Besalisks who were as stupid as they were ugly, straightened to attention as the Togruta cast a glance toward her. “There, see? I told you they would show up.”

Lucine raised an eyebrow as she studied the occupants of the cargo sled. It was being driven by a Human; seated next to him was a Rodian. The contents of the cargo area was covered with a tarp, and Lucine noted that a third Human was riding with it. A female, by the look of it. “Who are they?”

“The fellow driving the sled is Hamrick, my contact. The Rodian is his lieutenant. He goes by the name of Urso the Bloodfist, I believe.”

“Charming. And the woman?”

“Well, I'm afraid I don't know. Most likely just some hired muscle,” Peppa said with a slight frown.

At last, the cargo sled drew near and settled to the ground a few feet away. As the Togruta moved forward to meet his contact, Lucine remained where she was, studying the newcomers. Hamrick had a sort of rough charisma that was offset by the ruthless look in his eyes; silk covering steel. Urso was heavily scarred and seemed quite jumpy. He cradled his blaster close to him as if it would somehow protect him if the deal went poorly.

But it was the third member of their party that was the surprise. As she unfolded herself from the cargo bed, Lucine was shocked to see that she stood at about two meters tall, and was built like a brick wall. Once the woman had extricated herself from the vehicle, she looked toward the group, clearly performing a threat assessment of her own. When she took in Lucine's well-tailored clothing, the woman's lips parted into a sneer.

That one is going to be a problem, Lucine thought to herself.

Peppa and Hamrick greeted each other with a firm handshake and a brief round of introductions. Lucine could not help but smile as Peppa curtly introduced her as 'a potential business partner'. The hulking woman was introduced briefly as Granta, with no other detail.

With the introductions out of the way, Peppa and Hamrick approached the cargo sled, where the Human pulled back the tarp to reveal a pallet laden with kilo bricks of spice. Lucine remained where she was, content to watch as Hamrick selected one off of the top and handed it to the Togruta. Taking a small sample from the top, Peppa fed it into the analyzer he had fished from his pocket. They waited in silence until the analyzer beeped once.

“95 percent pure,” Peppa read from the display for Lucine's benefit.

“Lovely,” Lucine murmured. “But perhaps we should test another one, just to be sure?”

Both the Human and the Togruta paused, staring at her blankly. “And why would we do that?” Peppa asked skeptically.

“Because it is a good business practice not to test the brick that the supplier hands to you,” Lucine replied.

“Are you accusing me of something?” Hamrick put in, his eyes narrowing.

“Never, darling,” she said sweetly. She paused, drawing on the Force to lend weight to her words, before addressing Peppa once more. “Indulge me, please.”

The Togruta stood silent for a moment, his mouth trying to form the words of protest. Finally, he sighed and snatched a second brick from the pallet. He once again fed a sample into the analyzer; it chimed after only a few seconds. The lieutenant looked at the display, his face paling visibly. “58 percent,” he said quietly.

“Oh, dear,” Lucine said with a sigh, though she was not surprised in the least. There had been simply too many rumors, and all indicators had pointed to the supplier.

“What are you trying to pull?” Peppa demanded as he rounded upon Hamrick. The conversation quickly devolved into an argument, with the lieutenant hurling accusations while the Human loudly tried to defend himself.

Urso drew back from the shouting, cradling his blaster close. He did not realize how tightly he was clutching his blaster until it suddenly went off. A ray of red light shot between the Togruta and the Human before striking one of the Besalisk goons. As he fell over with a grunt, his brother immediately began shooting. Hamrick crumbled into a heap, while Peppa darted into cover behind the cargo sled with all the speed of a born coward.

Lucine ducked behind one of the duracrete supports. The distinctive SNAP-HISS of an igniting lightsaber caught her attention. She looked back to see Granta now holding a ruby blade, using it to deflect the blaster bolts. A Force-user? That is problematic.

Taking a deep breath, Lucine closed her eyes, weaving the Force into an illusion.

Aurora "Aura" Ta'var, 25 September, 2017 10:28 PM UTC

Positive Takeaways

The setup was great and works nicely with your character’s skills, which are woven in nicely into the story. The bonus was your inclusion of the motivations which was crucial and much appreciated. Below is but one example:

While she did not like the fact that she had been ordered to return to her home planet, she was determined to succeed in her mission. Her research had indicated the Low City Spice Lords would be the best gang to deal with, but she had heard some less than flattering rumors regarding the quality of the spice they sold.

Interesting way to start a fight and it flowed nicely from the setup.

Urso drew back from the shouting, cradling his blaster close. He did not realize how tightly he was clutching his blaster until it suddenly went off. A ray of red light shot between the Togruta and the Human before striking one of the Besalisk goons. As he fell over with a grunt, his brother immediately began shooting.

Can Be Improved

This was a nice post to read but it read like a novel rather than a fight. Specifically, ~89% of this post was setup that went at a slower pace than an actual fight. Moving forward, I highly suggest including more fighting in addition to your already wonderful setups.

Prackx glanced at the various parties involved in the firefight. All of them, besides the well dressed woman, appeared to be little more than criminals of some kind. Certainly the two men that she had accompanied were interested in little other than lining their pockets.

This is what’s become of the galactic capital? Granta mused.

Without hesitation or ceremony, the former soldier strode over to the surviving Besalisk, still easily batting away incoming blaster bolts. With a single slash of her lightsaber, she bisected the large alien. Urso allowed himself a small laugh, but his amusement was ended as he became the woman’s next target.

“The rest of you. I came for the fancy one. Stand down and you don’t need to get hurt!” Prackx demanded.

“Looks like most of them already did!” Peppa snorted from his hiding place.

Meanwhile, a dark skinned Human female began to head towards a nearby exit.

“You. Stay where you are. Nobody leaves until I’m done,” Granta ordered.

Lucine, hiding behind her Force forged disguise, turned to regard her fellow Human.

“I am not who you seek. You will let me leave,” she stated calmly, waving her hand.

“You are not who I seek. You may leave,” Prackx answered in an almost robotic tone. Even as she spoke, however, her gaze was drawn to Lucine’s hand.

The smaller female resumed her movement away from the scene, but she too noticed her hand. To her horror, she quickly realised that her facade was beginning to fall away. Her hand was the first to return to its regular skin tone, whilst her hair turned from black to red in the blink of an eye.

“Nice try, sweetie. Care to stop relying on your hired help now? Or are you too scared that you’ll get a hair out of place?” Granta sneered.

“Not all of us want to spend our days fighting, Granta. Are you sure that we can’t resolve this over a drink?” the Seeker answered.

Prackx looked the Arconan up and down, clearly considering the proposal.

“This won’t take long if you co-operate. I know who you’re working for. What I want to know is what that crazy blind woman did with my Andrelious. And his family,” the Juggernaut hissed.

Lucine raised an eyebrow. “That crazy blind woman is my Master. As for this Andrelious, all I know is that he fled Arconan space quite a while ago. You’ll have to find someone else if you want to know more,” she explained calmly.

“Very well. Someone else will have to do. When they come to collect you, they can tell me where he went,” Granta replied. Her lightsaber had remained active, but lowered throughout the conversation. As she finished her latest statement, she raised its blade towards Lucine.

“Oh. I think you’re mistaken. I’m not going anywhere with you,” the Coruscanti replied, activating her own lightsaber.

“So you do have some fight in you. Let’s hope it’s enough!” Prackx smirked, taking a step back.

Lucine wondered if she should make the next move, but her brief hesitation was enough to give the Juggernaut time to put her full strength into a devastating blow that nearly knocked the Arconan’s weapon clean from her hands.

The younger woman allowed Prackx to keep on attacking. She matched each powerful slash with a determined block, ready to counter-attack the instant an opportunity presented itself. She stepped back several times, trying to force her much larger opponent into a less comfortable stance, but Granta just matched each step almost perfectly.

“Just tell me where I can find my Andrelious!” Prackx roared.

Aurora "Aura" Ta'var, 26 September, 2017 12:54 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

Good job continuing on the premise provided by Lucine while also including quirks about your own character. I also liked that you included Granta’s motivations.

“Nice try, sweetie. Care to stop relying on your hired help now? Or are you too scared that you’ll get a hair out of place?” Granta sneered.

“This won’t take long if you co-operate. I know who you’re working for. What I want to know is what that crazy blind woman did with my Andrelious. And his family,” the Juggernaut hissed.

Can Be Improved

While I liked that you provided motivations for the fight, I would have liked to see more background information to support the dialogue. On a first read, it only made sense because I had read your character sheet. I suggest alluding to it in the story itself more in addition to placing it on your character sheet for a more complete story.

Grammar note: Make sure you pay attention to words that need hyphens such as ‘well-dressed’ and ‘dark-skinned’.

Granta's crimson blade clashed against Lucine's emerald one as the two women fought. Prackx used her superior size and strength to her advantage as she delivered blow after devastating blow. It was not long before the Arconan felt her muscles began to tire; she began to avoid Granta's attacks rather than deflecting them. Despite her maneuvering, Lucine was steadily driven backward as the fight wore on. One particularly strong slash drove the Knight back several steps, and she found herself teetering on the edge of the pit. A look over her shoulder provided a dizzying view into the abyss below.

"All right! All right," she gasped as she turned a shade of green that almost matched the trim of her dress. "I know when I am out matched!"

The Warlord smirked at her words, though she kept her lightsaber poised for another strike. "So you're going to come quietly, then?"

Lucine bit her lower lip as she considered her options. It was obvious that she could not defeat Granta in single combat, but the idea of being held hostage by the woman did not appeal to her either. The prospect was simply too humiliating. "That may not be necessary, darling. It occurs to me that I may have a way to help you find the man you are searching for."

"You just said you didn't know where he is," the Warlord said impatiently.

"I do not. However, I can put you in touch with someone who has the skills to help you find Andrelious," Lucine replied.

Prackx frowned suspiciously at the Knight's suddenly helpful demeanor. "That seems a little too convenient," she growled.

"What can I say? It is amazing how clearly one can think when they are treated to a view like this," Lucine said as she gestured back toward the pit. "Besides, what is the alternative? There are no assurances that whoever comes to retrieve me will have any knowledge about Andrelious's whereabouts. It could turn out to be a waste of time."

As she spoke, the Knight lowered her lightsaber and assumed a more relaxed stance. As relaxed as one could be when perched precariously next to a seemingly bottomless pit. When the hulking woman made no move to attack, Lucine continued. "Now, my contact is a slicer of considerable skill. I have no doubt that he would be able to point you in the correct direction. Would you not rather have concrete information, instead of hoping that you run into someone who could tell you what you want to know?"

The crimson blade lowered a fraction of an inch as Granta considered her words. Yearning, hope and mistrust of the Arconan all flickered briefly across her features. Finally, the Equite's face settled into a stony expression. “Contact him. But you'd better not be stalling.”

Lucine studied Prackx for a moment, using clues from her facial features and posture to determine her mental state. The Warlord seemed to be on edge, her muscles tensed and ready to respond to any threat. Clearly, Granta was expecting some sort of trick or attack and was prepared to respond with force. Lucine would have to play this carefully if she did not want to be sent hurtling over the edge into the abyss.

The Knight deactivated her lightsaber. Moving with deliberate slowness so as not to startle the Equite, she clipped the weapon to her belt before retrieving a comlink from one of her pouches. Under Prackx's suspicious glare, she tapped a frequency into the comlink. Silence fell between the two women as she sent the signal.

“Who is this? How did you get this frequency?” the voice that emitted from the comlink was clearly being filtered through a modulator, making it impossible to tell if the speaker was male or female.

“Slicemeister? It is me, Lucine,” the Knight spoke up quickly before her contact could break the connection. “It is time for you to repay that favor you owe me.”

“What do you want?”

“I am looking for someone, darling, and I want you to find him. His name is Andrelious Mimosa-Inahj,” Lucine said. She glanced at Granta, who was frowning impatiently. “I would appreciate it if you were to find him as quickly as possible. I have a lady here who is impatient to catch up to him.”

“Sure, I can do that. But I'm gonna need more than a name,” the modulated voice replied.

“Unfortunately, all I know is that he left the Dajorra system awhile ago,” the Arconan said.

“That's it? I'm gonna need more than that! Do you have a ship name? And ident key? Any idea where he was going?” the frustration in Slicemeister's voice was apparent despite the voice modulator.

Lucine looked to Granta, who shook her head slowly. The Knight sighed heavily. “Sorry, darling. All we have is a name.”

“Well, that's just great! What kind of idiot goes hunting for someone without doing some basic research?”

Lucine noted the scowl that was darkening the Equite's features. “Now, now, Slicemeister, let's not irritate the big, frightening lady, hmm?”

“I'm just saying, it's gonna be like finding a needle in a haystack. Do you have any idea how big the galaxy is?” The clacking of keys could be heard as the slicer continued to rant. “Huge! That's how big it is. It's gonna take—well, what do you know! I found something.”

“What?” Granta's scowl quickly vanished at the Slicemeister's words. In her eagerness, she snatched the comlink out of Lucine's hands. “What did you find?”

“Well, it seems there's someone by the name of Andrelious Mimosa-Inahj in the Outer Rim. Specifically in the Kessel system,” Slicemeister replied.

“Where? Tell me!” the Equite roared, clutching the communicator tightly.

“Kessel! He's on Kessel!”

It was all Prackx needed to hear. Finally, a solid lead! Not wanting to waste any more time, she threw down the comlink and strode toward the exit.

Lucine hastily took a few steps away from the ledge, breathing a sigh of relief as she did so. She looked at Granta's rapidly retreating form, but it was clear that the Warlord now had bigger things on her mind than finishing their battle. The redhead allowed herself a small smile, though it quickly vanished as she turned her attention to the shattered remains of her comlink.

“Wh-what just happened?” Peppa asked as he peered from his hiding place.

Lucine paused, remembering belatedly that Peppa had been spared. Of course, he would not have heard any of the auditory illusion that she had woven for Granta. Such a shame; Lucine was rather proud of her work. “Our large friend got a tip that the person she is looking for is in the Kessel system,” the Arconan replied.

“Really,” Peppa said dryly. He gestured toward the broken comlink on the ground. “You know, it's funny. I didn't think a small thing like that would be able to get a signal all the way down here.”

Lucine shot the Togruta a warning look, before glancing back toward Granta. Fortunately, the Equite was already out of sight.

“Well, it is a good thing that Granta did not notice that, or my little ruse would not have worked,” she said, giving the lieutenant a sweet smile. “Now, I believe we have some business to conclude.”

“Oh,” Peppa paused, looking around at the broken bodies of his fellow gang members and the spice suppliers. “Oh, wonderful,” he added, his voice devoid of enthusiasm.

Aurora "Aura" Ta'var, 26 September, 2017 1:17 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

Nice descriptions. I particularly liked this one.

"All right! All right," she gasped as she turned a shade of green that almost matched the trim of her dress. "I know when I am out matched!"

You do a particularly good job with dialogue. It is also a great use of the environment.

"What can I say? It is amazing how clearly one can think when they are treated to a view like this," Lucine said as she gestured back toward the pit.

The ending was nice, even if it did lack lightsaber action, and it flowed nicely from the earlier portion of the story. An Illusion ending is always interesting to read, especially when it aligns with the target’s interests. Well done.

Can Be Improved

Try to avoid telling me about the fight and focus on showing it more. This line has more impact if you wrote it out more.

Despite her maneuvering, Lucine was steadily driven backward as the fight wore on.

Try to give the reader a tell that Lucine is using Illusion, even if your opponent won’t know it is happening. I couldn’t find in your post the action (maybe a focus step) that Lucine took to weave this illusion for Granta. Since you write from Lucine’s POV it would make sense to add it for the reader's sake.

Lucine paused, remembering belatedly that Peppa had been spared. Of course, he would not have heard any of the auditory illusion that she had woven for Granta. Such a shame; Lucine was rather proud of her work. “Our large friend got a tip that the person she is looking for is in the Kessel system,” the Arconan replied.

“I’ve already told you. I don’t know anything,” Lucine said, firmly.

“Then you’re coming with me!” Prackx ordered.

“I already told you that I’m not doing that, either,” the younger woman replied, struggling to keep her composure.

The continued defiance seemed to anger the Juggernaut even further. She continued trying to smash her way past Lucine’s determined defence, growling each and every time that her crimson blade was barred from hitting its target.

Lucine had given up any attempts of finding a counter-attack. Instead, she looked around the area, trying to find anything that could allow her a chance to escape. All the while, Prackx continued her brutal assault, forcing the Arconan to focus more on defending herself than on slipping away.

As she continued to attack, Granta delved deep into the Force, allowing it to flow through her upper body. Almost immediately, she hit the shorter female with a little more speed, using the extra momentum to deftly bypass the Seeker’s defensive move. The carefully aimed strike avoided Lucine’s body, slicing through her upper right arm. The crimson blade easily cut through flesh, bone, tissue and nerve, severing the limb in a flash.

“I do not have limits, Arconan. I will just as easily kill you and return whatever’s left to your precious Master!” Prackx hissed, pointing her weapon directly at the younger woman’s throat.

“If you do that, you’ll never find out what happened to Andrelious,” Lucine replied.

“I’m sure I could find someone who will tell me. Perhaps your Master herself. From what I was told about her, she’s not much of a fighter,” the Juggernaut stated, smirking.

“You’d never get to her. You can’t just smash through the entire clan!” Vasano answered.

“I won’t need to. I’ll just smash through YOU!” the giant snapped. Balling her right hand into a fist, Prackx punched her adversary square in the jaw. The attack connected with a sickening crack, but the larger woman was far from finished. As Lucine fell to the ground, desperately moving her remaining hand to shield her face, the Juggernaut’s assault continued with another sharp punch to the stomach.

Pushing the Arconan onto her back, Granta placed her boot over the younger female’s throat, applying just enough pressure to make breathing difficult.

“You are a silly, pretty young thing. People like you should just do as they are told!” Prackx observed.

Lucine glared vengefully at her tormentor, but said nothing. “Are you going to come quietly, now, then?” the Juggernaut questioned, lifting her boot slightly.

“I can see that you definitely like to be on top. I wonder if that’s why Andrelious left you behind,” Lucine quipped.

“He always did as he was told. I hope you’ve learned your lesson now,” Prackx responded, helping the Arconan to her feet.

Lucine dusted herself down. “I don’t think I’ve got much choice. I’ll assume you’ve got a ship. Time you did what you do best. Lead the way,”

“Ladies first. I insist!” Granta ordered, jabbing the barrel of a blaster rifle into the Seeker’s back. “Now move!”

As the two females started to head towards a nearby turbolift, a Togruta male emerged from his hiding place, blaster in hand.

One chance at this! Peppa thought, firing not at Prackx, but directly above her head. The blaster bolt zipped through the air, harmlessly dissipating on contact with a durasteel wall.

“GO!” Peppa yelled as Prackx turned around to find her would-be attacker.

Lucine did not need telling twice. She desperately bashed the turbolift’s call button, praying for the doors to open quickly.

Peppa fired his blaster again, this time directly at the onrushing Juggernaut. Prackx, having switched back to her lightsaber, easily swatted the attack away, leaping towards the terrified Togruta.

As the turbolift arrived, Lucine stepped inside, thumbing the topmost button.

“Get me away from her!” she pleaded, turning to check stock. She was treated to the view of Prackx running Peppa through with her lightsaber. The large woman wasted no time in resuming her chase of Lucine, but the turbolift doors slid shut, allowing the Arconan to speed away to the upper levels of the former Imperial capital.

Granta Prackx hit the turbolift doors so hard that she almost knocked them clean off their frame.

“Frakking Arconan!”

Aurora "Aura" Ta'var, 26 September, 2017 1:43 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

Loved the fighting in this post from an action perspective. The flow of the fight and its energy was quite good.

Can Be Improved

Pay particular attention to lightsaber wounds and the fact that some opponents, like Lucine, don’t have the appropriate control self (+1) or endurance (+1) to really do much after taking off a limb. I’d write them passing out in future or something along those lines. This is especially true after she gets punched twice.

As she continued to attack, Granta delved deep into the Force, allowing it to flow through her upper body. Almost immediately, she hit the shorter female with a little more speed, using the extra momentum to deftly bypass the Seeker’s defensive move. The carefully aimed strike avoided Lucine’s body, slicing through her upper right arm. The crimson blade easily cut through flesh, bone, tissue and nerve, severing the limb in a flash. “Ladies first. I insist!” Granta ordered, jabbing the barrel of a blaster rifle into the Seeker’s back. “Now move!” As the two females started to head towards a nearby turbolift, a Togruta male emerged from his hiding place, blaster in hand.