Augur Kordath Bleu vs. Warrior Lucine Vasano

Augur Kordath Bleu

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Male Ryn, Force Disciple, Arcanist, Krath
vs.

Warrior Lucine Vasano

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Female Human, Sith, Seeker
Comment

Lucine Vasano, a wonderful story full of some really nice foreshadowing and some rather good plays on Lucine’s abilities. It used the environment well and kept me engaged. I only saw a small handful of syntax errors and everything else was clean. Of note, you again had a nice setup to the story.

Kordath Bleu, a wonderful story that made me laugh. It used the environment well and kept me engaged. I only saw a small handful of syntax errors and everything else was clean. Of note, your comfort with writing action scenes was evident throughout your story.

Alas, there are no ties in the ACC. The winner of this match is Kordath Bleu. In a normal combat oriented match, such as the Duelist Hall, we are looking for more of a balance. The story is the action, not one or the other. With that in mind, it gives a nudge towards Kord who managed to provide just as much story with a stronger balance of action. Thank you both for taking the time to write this excellent story. I enjoyed reading it and look forward to the sequel. Good job to both of you and see you again next time!!

P.S: Please kill that droid with fire.

~Aura Ta'var

Hall Duelist Hall - Ranked
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Augur Kordath Bleu, Warrior Lucine Vasano
Winner Augur Kordath Bleu
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Augur Kordath Bleu's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Warrior Lucine Vasano's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Selen: Arcona Citadel - Courtyard
Last Post 6 October, 2017 8:22 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Aurora "Aura" Ta'var
Syntax - 15%
General Stres'tron'garmis Lucine Vasano
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: Few minor errors. Rationale: Few minor errors.
Story - 40%
General Stres'tron'garmis Lucine Vasano
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: Great story that felt unique and pulled me in as a reader. Nice action scenes too. Great job! Rationale: Great story that felt unique and pulled me in as a reader. Great job!
Realism - 25%
General Stres'tron'garmis Lucine Vasano
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues found. Rationale: No issues found.
Continuity - 20%
General Stres'tron'garmis Lucine Vasano
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues found. Rationale: No issues found.
General Stres'tron'garmis's Score: 4.85 Lucine Vasano's Score: 4.85
Posts

Selen Arcona Citadel Courtyard

Despite being on the first level of the Citadel, the massive courtyard remains hidden behind towering walls of stone and sediment. An elongated central patch of neatly trimmed grass stretches out for almost fifty-meters while maintaining a twenty-meter width. At the center of the grass is a large, ovular fountain in the shape of the Arcona emblem, with water running from the tips of each pointed edge. Vegetation grows along some of the walls, and an archaic clock-face is carved into the face of one of the entryways. A small group of rotating sharpshooters are scattered across the walls as the courtyard is supposed to serve as a safe place for Arconans to enjoy some quiet time, or to meet with visitors. It has served as the venue for multiple honor-duels over time, and there is a significant crater off to the side of the grass left behind as a result of a contest between Marick Arconae and Wuntila Arconae. The duel had taken place prior to either Arconae serving as Shadow Lords and in a quieter time before all Arcona knew was warfare.

Towards the back of the courtyard, closer to the base of the cliff that the Citadel is constructed upon, a tall tree shoots up from the stone, its shade guarding an entrance into the Citadel proper.

The sun shone brilliantly upon the Arcona Citadel Courtyard, causing Kordath Bleu to shield his eyes as he passed from the darkened hallway into the sunlight. As he waited for his eyes to adjust, he briefly regretted his last three drinks the evening before. They had seemed appropriate at the time; he could think of few better ways to chase away the weight of his new responsibilities as Proconsul. But a throbbing headache and stabbing pains in his eyes made him now wonder if the extra alcohol had been such a great idea.

While he really just wanted to go home and lie down, it seemed his new responsibilities included a seemingly endless number of meetings. He had returned to his office exhausted, only to find a note from Lucine upon his desk. Written in curving, flowery script, it had politely requested his presence in the courtyard that afternoon. He had strongly considered ignoring the invitation in favor of a nap, but he knew the redhead to be relentless when there was something she wanted. In the end, he had decided it was best to get it out of the way.

He found Lucine reclining near the fountain, seated upon a metalloy box. With her head tilted upward and her eyes closed, she appeared to be enjoying the afternoon sun. As he approached, she opened her eyes and looked at him, her lips curving upward into a smile that never quite touched her eyes.

“Lord Proconsul!” she purred as she rose to her feet.

Her formal address made him cringe, but his nerves were set even more on edge when the Sith crossed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him in a warm hug. While Lucine had never been unfriendly toward him, she had never been exactly friendly either. The sudden display of affection left him with the distinct impression that she was looking for a place to plant a knife. “Eheh. What's up, lass?” the Ryn asked, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice.

“Well, darling, I had hoped to have a little chat with you,” the redhead replied. Though she released him from the hug, her hands remained firmly planted upon his shoulders. “I would consider us to be on friendly terms, would you not agree?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” Kordath replied. Over her shoulder, he noticed that the box she had been sitting on was now starting to vibrate and shake.

Lucine smiled, apparently pleased with his answer. Seeing his attention drawn to the box, she gripped his chin between her thumb and forefinger and dragged his gaze back to her. “Friends do not lie to one another, correct?” she went on in a saccharine tone.

“I guess not,” the Ryn said, his feeling of unease growing.

“And friends certainly would not spy on one another, would they?” Lucine continued.

He was beginning to realize where this conversation was going. Kordath tried to take a step back, but the redhead only tightened her grip on his shoulders. “So... uh... what're you on about, hey? What's this about?” the Ryn asked while trying to maintain a perplexed look on his face.

Lucine's eyes narrowed as her fingers clenched the front of his shirt. She yanked him up onto his toes so that their faces were only inches apart. “Well, darling, I was hoping you would explain why I found your creature in my apartment today.”

As if on cue, the container burst open and Skitters tumbled out. Lucine's voice became icy as she hissed, “And why I found it hiding in my underwear drawer.”

Aurora "Aura" Ta'var, 11 October, 2017 2:44 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

Really nice premise for a fight and it fits rather well with his aspects.

As if on cue, the container burst open and Skitters tumbled out. Lucine's voice became icy as she hissed, “And why I found it hiding in my underwear drawer.”

Nice job painting the scene.

He found Lucine reclining near the fountain, seated upon a metalloy box. With her head tilted upward and her eyes closed, she appeared to be enjoying the afternoon sun. As he approached, she opened her eyes and looked at him, her lips curving upward into a smile that never quite touched her eyes.

Can Be Improved

What is a metalloy? Google couldn’t find it, DJB wiki can’t find it, wookiepedia can’t find it and it doesn’t exist in the dictionary.

He found Lucine reclining near the fountain, seated upon a metalloy box.

He froze up in her grip, searching her green eyes for any signs of mercy or understanding. The fiery redhead was karked off; he could see that evidently enough. Considering how well she usually masked her emotions, this wasn't going to turn out well for the Ryn. To make matters worse, the ID9 seeker droid pushed itself up with its grasper arms and shook itself like a caged pet, chirping angrily at her back.

Kordath didn't even need to inspect the Skitter; it was probably POR-7, one of the seeker droids he had on Port Ol'val in the residential areas. It, along with its ilk, had been sending him routine transmissions, about the denizens of the Shadowport. But POR-7 had taken a shine to the woman before him, and Bleu had meant to look into why.

Too late now.

"Look, luv, uhh, I do nae know why the wee one there has takin' a likin' ta ya. Been intendin' ta bring tha lad in and have his programmin' checked out. Ya know they're around ta keep an eye on things, yeah? Help keep everyone safe..." his voice trailed off as those green eyes smoldered.

Think of Zuj, think of Zuj, do nae get distracted, Kordy, that's her game.

"Underwear drawer, Kordath. Why. Was. It. Inside. My. Underwear. Drawer?"

Kord glanced past her shoulder, towards the stumbling and disoriented looking droid. The seeker's dome-like body had several scratches, a few dents and at least one scorch mark along it.

"Tha hell did ya do ta him? No wonder he's actin' wonky and digging through yer knickers!"

The woman's cheeks reddened, "I catch it in my apartment in the middle of the night, watching me, Kord! I had to chase it off with a broom when I came out of the refresher at one point!"

Bleu kept a careful, neutral expression on his face as he recalled some of the sorted out 'private and secure' folders for intelligence he received from his droids. "Was it that banged up already? Could be why tha poor boy is fixating on ya, eh? Somethin' inside got damaged, I'll get 'im fixed up and he should quit botherin' ya! Thanks fer bringin' him with ya, I'll get right on that, luv," he stated, trying to wriggle out of her grip.

Her fingers tightened, and even through his coat, he could feel her nails digging into him.

"I had to throw out several hundred credits worth of undergarments, Kordath, because of your droid."

He gaped at her, "What bleedin' kinda drawers you wearin', lass? And what'd he even do ta them?"

"HE TOUCHED THEM!" she shouted in his face.

Kordath leaned back from the outburst. "You must be a fun date, then," he muttered.

The muscles around Lucine's left eye twitched sporadically for a moment before she broke into a wide, toothy smile. She let go her grip and smoothed out his coat.

"Reparations, and no more droids anywhere near my home, Proconsul Bleu."

"Repawhats? And no can do, luv, they're security. Uhh, Consul Tameike's orders, yeah."

Gonna pay for that if Satsi hears, but she might be okay after she see's some of tha 'data' the Skitters have gotten.

"Shouldn't lie, Kordath, it's not very becoming of a gentleman," she said, her smile still fixed on her face but her hand traveling down and back behind her. The Force screeched a warning at the Ryn before her dagger was even fully drawn, prompting the newly minted Proconsul to act.

He panicked, reaching out and shoving both hands against her shoulders and sending her tumbling back. If she'd been prepared for him to move, it didn't show, as she fell back several steps and her green eyes widened in alarm, her dagger flailing at her side as she hit the edge of the fountain.

Kordath reached out for a moment with one hand, before drawing it back in and wincing, eyes shutting as he heard the splash of water and a myriad of unladylike curses. The excited chirping of the Skitters unit got him to crack an eye open, in time to see Lucine rising from the water, anger clear in her eyes. He heard the droid let out a long, high-pitched whistle and found himself doing the same with his fluted nose, before averting his gaze, coughing.

"Let me, uhh, find ya a towel, luv," he spoke, coughing and turning to head back into the Citadel. The sound of a lightsaber activating gave him pause.

"Reparations, Kordath, for the undergarments and the dress."

Aurora "Aura" Ta'var, 11 October, 2017 2:45 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

Nice follow up to Lucine’s setup.

Kordath didn't even need to inspect the Skitter; it was probably POR-7, one of the seeker droids he had on Port Ol'val in the residential areas. It, along with its ilk, had been sending him routine transmissions, about the denizens of the Shadowport. But POR-7 had taken a shine to the woman before him, and Bleu had meant to look into why.

"Reparations, and no more droids anywhere near my home, Proconsul Bleu."

Lol.

"I catch it in my apartment in the middle of the night, watching me, Kord! I had to chase it off with a broom when I came out of the refresher at one point!" He heard the droid let out a long, high-pitched whistle and found himself doing the same with his fluted nose, before averting his gaze, coughing.

Nice use of the environment.

Kordath reached out for a moment with one hand, before drawing it back in and wincing, eyes shutting as he heard the splash of water and a myriad of unladylike curses.

Kordath whirled at the sound of the lightsaber igniting, one hand instinctively wrapping around the hilt of his Sith dagger. Lucine still stood in the fountain, her emerald eyes blazing almost as brightly as her matching saber blade. The rage on her face was almost enough to distract him from the fact that her now sodden dress clung tightly to her, leaving nothing to the imagination.

“Listen, luv, I get it. Yer karked off. Let's, uh, put the weapons down and talk about this,” the Ryn said as he raised one hand in a placating manner, while his other one continued to grip the dagger. “No need to do somethin' we'll both regret, yeah?”

As Lucine opened her mouth to respond, a third approving whistle drew her attention. Her gaze flicked upward to see one of the sharpshooters standing atop the wall, watching them. Her eyes narrowed. I doubt they would simply let me carve the Ryn up, she thought to herself, Even if I am completely justified.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, making a show of mastering her anger. As Kordath watched, her posture relaxed slightly and the anger left her face. The emerald blade vanished and she clipped it to her belt, before climbing out of the fountain with as much dignity as she could muster. For his part, Kord observed her warily, trying to watch for danger rather than her curves.

“Well, that certainly helped to cool me off,” Lucine said with a self-conscious laugh. She gave an odd twist of her left hand, before raising it to brush her soaked hair from her eyes. Watching his reaction out of the corner of her eye, she added with a pout, “But surely you understand why I was so angry, Kordath? A lady deserves her privacy, after all.”

The Ryn was so distracted looking for a physical threat that he barely noticed as tendrils of dark energy slipped into his mind and gained a foothold there. “Sure, luv, anythin' you say,” the Augur agreed readily.

“So then you will agree to give me reparations, will you not?” Lucine continued. “I merely wish to have unfettered access to the transmissions your Skitters send you. I do not think that is too much to ask, given all the distress your droid has caused me.”

Kordath found himself nodding in agreement. He really liked her idea. It seemed fair and would keep the redhead from actively trying to kill him. But as he opened his mouth to accede to her request, the shadow of a frown crossed his features. There was something wrong here. “Uh....”

“You do not want me to be distressed, do you?” the Sith purred as she drew a step closer, adding a little sway to her hips as she moved. “Indeed, I would be very grateful if you were to do as I say. Very, very grateful.” These last words were spoken in a breathy whisper, her tone full of unspoken promises.

The Ryn's face split into a grin. “Yeah? Well, in that case—”

However, before he could say anything more, Lucine felt something brush against her ankle. She looked down to the Skitters unit at her feet, it's photoreceptor aimed up her dress. Her face flushed red as she lashed out with her foot, kicking the droid toward Kordath. “Get away, you vile thing!”

The Proconsul jerked visibly, the fog lifting from his mind with her concentration broken. He caught the ID9 droid easily. “Err, sorry, luv. Like I said earlier, no can do,” he said as he held the angrily chittering droid.

The redhead's face darkened at his response. Kordath's senses screamed, and he leaped back in time to avoid the sudden and vicious and sudden kick aimed at his knee. She stepped forward to close the distance, aiming an open-handed strike toward his throat.

The Ryn spun to avoid it. “Here, catch!” he shouted, tossing the droid at the Sith's head.

Instinctively, Lucine raised her hands to grab the Skitters unit before it could hit her. She looked up in time to see a flash of light explode from Kordath's hand. Momentarily blinded, she dropped the droid as she stumbled backward, tumbling once more into the fountain and striking her head as she fell.

Slowly, the Augur shifted from one foot to the other as she waited for the redhead to get back up. She did not move. An uncomfortable few seconds passed as he debated what to do, before muttering, “Aw, kark it.”

Striding forward, he grabbed Lucine's limp form and pulled her out of the fountain and laid her on the ground next to the chittering Skitters unit. Reflex kicked in, and she began to cough the water from her lungs.

“C'mon,” he said as he scooped up the ID9 unit. “I do nae wanna be around when she wakes up.” He spared one more glance at the unconscious Sith, before hurrying back toward the citadel. “And you! Yer gonna have ta be more careful, mate,” he added to the droid.

Aurora "Aura" Ta'var, 11 October, 2017 2:45 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

Nice use of the environment.

As Lucine opened her mouth to respond, a third approving whistle drew her attention. Her gaze flicked upward to see one of the sharpshooters standing atop the wall, watching them. Her eyes narrowed. I doubt they would simply let me carve the Ryn up, she thought to herself, Even if I am completely justified.

Nice use of aspect.

“Well, that certainly helped to cool me off,” Lucine said with a self-conscious laugh. She gave an odd twist of her left hand, before raising it to brush her soaked hair from her eyes. Watching his reaction out of the corner of her eye, she added with a pout, “But surely you understand why I was so angry, Kordath? A lady deserves her privacy, after all.”

Nice ending that has a chance to be used in a future match.

“C'mon,” he said as he scooped up the ID9 unit. “I do nae wanna be around when she wakes up.” He spared one more glance at the unconscious Sith, before hurrying back toward the citadel. “And you! Yer gonna have ta be more careful, mate,” he added to the droid.

Kordath slowly turned to face the soaked, angry redhead. Her blue blade steamed as water trailed off the hilt of the saber; her green eyes seemed to gleam with anger. He fumbled under the back of his jacket, fingers feeling numb as they wrapped around the grip of his Sith dagger, swallowing nervously.

"Lets, uh, think about this, luv, yeah? Ya do nae want ta be swingin' dat thing around, eh? Could hurt somebody, namely meself, or uhh...," he panicked, backing up as she stepped out of the fountain, stalking towards him. "...break a nail?"

Lucine’s scream of frustration hurt his ears with its piercing quality.

"Ow, okay, yeah, yer mad, lass, I get it. Wee lil' Skitters did a bad, and I'll be punishin' him right good; lets just put this all behind us, eh? And, uh, get ya some fresh clothes. Fer tha luv of tha Force, woman, I'm engaged, and all dat. I can nae be scopin' out all of, uh, that."

"Shut up! Shut up and come get the punishment you deserve!" she hissed in a deathly quiet tone.

Kordath licked his lips and tried not to break into another nervous grin while mumbling, "That ain't helpin', luv."

Lucine's attack came swiftly, fueled by anger, her blade scything through the air. He danced back, ducking, weaving and leaning away from blows that were a hairsbreadth away from taking off his head. Bleu had made her angry before, but this was a new level of ticked off from the woman. Another near miss was followed by a shove of Force energy, throwing him off balance. He yelped as he was forced to knock away her next strike with his dagger, held in a reverse grip against his forearm for leverage. He could smell the nerf hide coat burn as the blade pushed against it.

If she was nae so karked off, she'd already have probably taken me bleedin' head off.

The irony wasn't lost on him. If he got her to calm down, she might not kill him, or she’d just be focused enough to pull it off. He stumbled back and decided that space was needed, ducking low and scrambling under her next swing, tail held low to avoid getting lopped off. Bleu scurried to the nearby tree, straightening up and letting the Force flow to his leg muscles, jumping and pulling himself into the branches.

"Would ya bleedin' stop!?"

"GET BACK DOWN HERE!" she shouted, and the Ryn suffered a dizzy spell as he fought the Force heavy suggestion. With a shake of his head, he stared down at her, dazed. Slowly, one foot started to lower its way out of the tree, followed by the other as he slid down the trunk; his mind screaming warnings at him all the while.

He blinked when he hit the ground, eyes coming back into focus as he looked upon the damp, fuming woman, or rather, at the tip of the lightsaber that was inches from his face.

"Huh. Oi! That was nae fair," he grumbled, rubbing at his eyes. He'd barely finished his whining before the blue blade inched closer to his nose. "Okay, okay, be cool, luv! What can I do ta make this right, eh? I'm tha, uhhh, Scion type person now, yeah, Shadowy Sciony, uhh...bugger it, I'm tha bleedin' Proconsul, surely I can get ya somethin' ya want?"

"New undergarments for a start," she hissed, and lowered her saber, before swiping the bottom of his goatee from his face with a flick of her wrist. "I saw that grin beginning, no, you do not get to help me pick them out."

Kordath gave her a noncommittal shrug, "Ya nae wish ta have a lad's opinion on yer choices till yer showin' it off, that's yer business."

He bit his tongue when he saw the telltale twitch of muscles on her face once more.

"And you keep the droids away from my apartment. Or you'll start getting them back in pieces. Possibly with explosives inside of them."

"Now, that's a security risk, luv, I can nae just overlook a part of Port Ol'val, now can I? It'd be, uhh, irresponsible o' me."

Again, the twitch around her eyes, except this time her blade pulled back. Her stance shifted, and Kordath began to move as well, dagger in hand. One of them was going to regret this, he just hoped she didn't take off his head and that she wouldn't bleed out. Nobody would be happy with either result in the long run. As they moved to strike at one another, an indignant squeal came from near the ground. The black, domelike ID9 droid scuttled under Bleu's foot as he began to step forward, throwing the Ryn off balance and down to the grass with a grunt.

Above him, where about his chest had been, the blade of Lucine's saber followed through and scored the side of the tree. She blinked, her eyes slowly clearing of anger as she looked down at the disheveled Proconsul.

"Oh, wow, I was ready to actually kill you. Umm..."

"Yer mad, luv, it happens. Especially after tha thing that happened ta yer Master...ta Blinky," he winced, rubbing at the shoulder he'd landed on. "Look, I was a wee bit flippant, I was. I'll, uh, make arrangements fer, uhh, tryin' ta keep POR-7 away from ya, since he seems to be fascinated. And a stipend fer, uhh, 'equipment' let's call it, yeah?"

She knelt in the grass, staring at him, "Enough for everything I had to destroy? And a new dress?"

Kordath began to answer, aware of how close her saber still was and how far the entrance to the Citadel. Chances were he could bolt, and maybe even outrun her. As he opened his mouth, the ID9 unit leaped up from the ground and onto the redhead's back. She shrieked in alarm, and Kord watched in wide-eyed terror as the Skitters used its pincer arms to grab some of her hair, the telltale sound of 'snip' just loud enough for him to hear.

Lucine turned to watch as the droid hopped off her back, clutching a lock of her hair like a trophy as it ran towards the far side of the courtyard, rounding the fountain to break visual contact. When she turned around, fire in her eyes once more to confront the Ryn, he was gone;, the grass turned up where his boots had dug in for his run. She could hear the ringing of footsteps through the nearby entrance.

"This is not over," she said to herself, eye twitching.

Aurora "Aura" Ta'var, 11 October, 2017 2:46 AM UTC

Nice use of the environment.

Bleu scurried to the nearby tree, straightening up and letting the Force flow to his leg muscles, jumping and pulling himself into the branches.

Nice ending that shows a glimmer of another match in the future.

Lucine turned to watch as the droid hopped off her back, clutching a lock of her hair like a trophy as it ran towards the far side of the courtyard, rounding the fountain to break visual contact. When she turned around, fire in her eyes once more to confront the Ryn, he was gone;, the grass turned up where his boots had dug in for his run. She could hear the ringing of footsteps through the nearby entrance.

"This is not over," she said to herself, eye twitching.

Can Be Improved

This sentence sounds like it is missing some words. Sounds rather odd when you read it out loud.

Kordath began to answer, aware of how close her saber still was and how far the entrance to the Citadel.