The caverns that snaked beneath the frozen surface of Hoth could almost be considered peaceful. The rough stone walls blocked out much of the chill, making the temperature almost pleasant when compared to the frigid climate above. The quiet solitude, punctuated by the steady dripping of icicles, added to the soothing atmosphere. Even the steady glow of the lichen that clung to the slick rock walls added to the overall feeling of peace. To a person in the proper frame of mind, the cavern would have been a good place to do a bit of quiet meditation.
But the furious redhead who picked her way through the caverns was not in the mood for meditation.
“I am beginning to think he is doing this on purpose,” Lucine muttered to herself. “Since you are in the area, run over and pick up some lichen for me, will you?” she said as she deepened her pitch in an imitation of Rhylance’s voice. “Nevermind the fact that I am two systems away from the Anoat sector. Nevermind the fact that gathering the lichen requires me to scale down a ravine in a snowstorm. Nevermind the fact that I was supposed to have a date tonight. Argh! That man is infuriating!”
Her only response was the echo of her own voice. Lucine rolled her eyes and continued on, walking carefully to avoid slipping on the slick stone floor. With any luck, she could find the lichen and be on her way quickly. Perhaps the evening could still be salvaged.
The tunnel opened up into a large cavern which was lined with lichen of varying shades of blue. Their phosphorescence cast the room in a lovely azure light that could almost be considered beautiful.
However, there was a problem. Rhylance had said that he wanted a specific type of blue lichen but had neglected to provide her with any other details about it. But by her estimation, there were at least seven different species of lichen, and all of them were blue.
“No, no, no, I do not have time for this!” the Sith groaned. She looked slowly around the cavern as she checked her comm, but there was no signal within the caverns. She could return to her trip to get more details from the medical science officer, but that would take too much time. She would undoubtedly miss her date if she did that. Of course, Rhylance had said he wanted a large quantity of the specimen, so it was not possible to collect some of every blue lichen there; not if she wanted to finish her errand in one trip.
The simplest course of action would be to simply cancel her date, but that was something she would not do. She had been apart from Strong too long. She actually missed that massive, overly muscled Chiss. Besides, her absence created an opportunity for a certain green-haired tart to supplant her in Strong’s affections.
There was simply nothing for it. Much as she enjoyed the idea of having Rhylance owe her a favor, she did not want to miss her date. She would collect a sizeable amount of one type of lichen, and if it wasn’t the right type, then the Quaestor could come get what he needed himself.
But before she could set herself to her task, the realization dawned on her that she was not as alone in the cavern as she had originally thought. She turned to see a stranger standing in the cavern entrance, watching her.
“Err… hello,” Lucine said to the newcomer, embarrassed at how easily he had managed to catch her unawares.
“Good morning, ma’am. Are you by any chance Lucine Vasano, Aedile of House Qel-Droma?” the man asked as he stepped into the cavern.
“I am,” Lucine replied hesitantly as she shifted her stance slightly, regarding him carefully. His gaze was direct and his posture was perfect. That, combined with the regulation style haircut and starched lines of his uniform told her that he was career military. But what business does he have with me? “And you are?”
“My name is Creon Saldean. I am a Knight in service to Clan Odan-Urr.”
Perhaps it was the clipped manner in which he spoke, which contrasted sharply with the kindness in his eyes. Perhaps it was the fact that he looked amazing in his Special Forces Armor. Whatever it was, the redhead could not help but to admit that he was adorable. Perhaps tonight will not be such a loss after all. “Well, it is lovely to meet you, Creon. What brings you to this inhospitable planet?”
“I’ve been charged with the task of bringing you to New Tython for questioning,” the Odanite replied.
“Questioning?!” Lucine repeated as she arched a single, sculpted brow. “Whatever for?”
“It is my understanding that a data-disk disappeared from High Councillor Archenksova’s office shortly after your last visit to New Tython. Given the sensitive nature of the data, you are to be questioned about its whereabouts.”
“Oh yes, because I would most certainly plan a heist like that to take place while I was actually there. Come now, darling, give me some credit,” Lucine said as she pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Sorry, ma’am, but that’s not my call to make,” Creon said. “Now, if you would please come with me.”
“Oh no, darling, I could not possibly! You see, I have a d— I have plans for this evening,” the Sith said quickly. She gave him a sweet smile as she sashayed closer, before reaching up to lightly trace her fingers along his jaw-line. “How about this? Meet me at my place tomorrow, and you can ‘capture’ me there? Then we can head on over to New Tython and sort this whole mess out.”
Their eyes met, and for a moment Lucine was certain that her charms had worked. But instead of readily agreeing, the Odanite gave an embarrassed smile as he reached up to draw her hand away. “Sorry, ma’am, but I have my orders.” His tone was contrite but firm.
The Sith pouted playfully. “Oh my, that is so unfortunate. But if you insist.” She drew upon the Force and used it to give weight to her words. “All right, darling. Go on up to your ship and wait for me. I will be along shortly, I promise.”
The Jedi hesitated for a moment, a look of confusion crossing his face. It passed as quickly as it appeared, and he nodded, clearly relieved that he would not have to resort to force. “I’ll see you up there.” With that, he turned on his heel and exited the cavern.
Lucine watched him go, a sly smile on his face as she observed him. “Well, that takes care of that. Such a pity, he was adorable.”
She turned her attention back to her task and collected as much lichen as she could carry. There was still time to make her date. However, as she stepped out of the cavern, she saw a familiar figure waiting for her further up the tunnel. “Oh dear,” she sighed. “You came back.”
“I already told you, ma’am. I have my orders.” As Creon spoke, she settled into a sideways stance, bringing his hands up near his face. “This is your last chance. Come with me, or I will resort to using force.”
“Threatening a girl with a good time, are you?” Lucine murmured teasingly. “Well, I must give credit to the High Councillor, sending a handsome man like you was a stroke of genius. But I am afraid my answer remains the same.”
“I’m afraid you give me no choice,” Creon said as whirled about, aiming a kick toward her head. Lucine ducked out of the way, but before she could throw a punch of her own she felt her foot slip. She gasped in surprise as she felt started to fall to the ground. Creon’s selfless nature kicked in and he grabbed her, trying to break her fall. However, he succeeded only in losing his own balance. The pair fell into an undignified heap, with the Jedi on top of the Sith.
“Hmmm, this is cozy,” Lucine purred as she wiggled suggestively underneath him. “Are you certain you do not want to take me up on my previous offer? This would be so much more comfortable back at my place.”
Fortunately, the dim lighting of the tunnel hid the blush that crept into Creon’s cheeks. “I already told you my answer, ma’am.”
“I know, I know,” the Sith said with a sigh. “You have your orders!” As she spoke, she lashed out with her foot, kicking the knee he had been using to support his weight out from under him. As he tumbled to the ground, she threw her weight against him. They rolled over the ground, ending with Lucine on top. “But really, darling. Even you have to admit that this is fun.”
Positive Takeaways
Your introduction was absolutely captivating. The images you paint with your words actually made me shiver. The excerpt above is a snippet from your first paragraph and is an extremely powerful example of some very powerful storytelling. You set the scene with such skill that you had me hooked right from the beginning.
Needs Improvement
There are a couple spots where you seem to have some pronoun confusion crop up. The above example is but one and I found myself stumble hard over it in some otherwise beautiful writing. Do watch for these instances as they can be detrimental to the immersion of the reader.