Raider TuQ'uan Varick vs. Battlemaster Lucine Vasano

Raider TuQ'uan Varick

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Plagueis
Male Kel Dor, Mercenary, Infiltrator
vs.

Battlemaster Lucine Vasano

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Female Human, Sith, Seeker
Comment

Thank you both for your patience, as travel and illness have delayed this judgment.

In a tournament that has seen literally dozens of strong matches now, this one stands out as a favorite. Both of you have strongly developed, interesting characters and wrote both your own and your opponent’s characters beautifully, weaving them and the venue and the premise Lucine provided into a satisfying story. We hated having to choose a winner here.

However, now that the scores are tallied, Lucine Vasano emerges victorious.

Congratulations, Lucine, and thank you both for writing us such a great story.

Archenksov
Combat Master

Marick Tyris
Voice

Hall Spring 2019 ACC Championship
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Raider TuQ'uan Varick, Battlemaster Lucine Vasano
Winner Battlemaster Lucine Vasano
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Raider TuQ'uan Varick's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Battlemaster Lucine Vasano's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Godless Matron: Hangar Zerek
Last Post 30 May, 2019 4:26 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Headmistress Alethia Archenksova
Syntax - 15%
Lucine Vasano TuQ’uan Varick di Plagia
Score: 4 (Advantage) Score: 4
Rationale: Very clean, albeit not perfect. Rationale: Few errors, all minor.
Story - 40%
Lucine Vasano TuQ’uan Varick di Plagia
Score: 5 (Advantage) Score: 5
Rationale: Lucine gets the slightest edge here for her setup work in the first post, though if the system let me I'd just as soon give you both a perfect score and leave it at that. Rationale: Lucine gets the slightest edge here for her setup work in the first post, though if the system let me I'd just as soon give you both a perfect score and leave it at that.
Realism - 25%
Lucine Vasano TuQ’uan Varick di Plagia
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No errors. Rationale: No errors.
Continuity - 20%
Lucine Vasano TuQ’uan Varick di Plagia
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No errors. Rationale: No errors.
Lucine Vasano's Score: 5.12 TuQ’uan Varick di Plagia's Score: 4.85
Posts

Matron_HangarZerek

Pirates are a rowdy lot. It is a fact rarely questioned and merely accepted by those who deal with them regularly. While the Herald’s crew is no different, the band's leader has a different approach to facilitating their tendencies. To this end, one of the Matron's smaller hangars — designated Hangar Zerek — has been recommissioned as a combat arena... or execution chamber.

Once a dedicated repair bay, Hangar Zerek is still equipped with fabricator arms and an assortment of Trade Federation droid parts that have fallen into disrepair. A squared off section, including illumination banks at each corner, designates the intended arena. The section is denoted by active shock fences, run by nearby generators. It is here that the crew lets off steam, with the hangar bay sealed.

Matron_HangarZerek

The hangar itself still has a fully functioning force field that comes into play when matches are meant to become more interesting, or when it comes time to jettison troublesome captives. The hangar bay doors peel open, leaving only the active field to separate the arena from the vacuum of space. The control mechanisms for the hangar doors can be operated manually from the control booth or on a set timer, including the force field's toggle switch.

The control booth is the last segment of Hangar Zerek worth noting. Doubling as an observation deck, it is the only obvious entrance to the hangar. All maintenance hatches and access-ways have been sealed in advance, though the catwalks crisscrossing along the upper layers of the hangar remain. The booth itself is sealed, providing a safe haven for when the force field comes down.

The hour was late, and most of the pirates who ordinarily crowded Hangar Zerek had already drifted off to find their beds or some other entertainment. Only a few illumination bays remained lit, leaving much of the room in gloomy shadows. But the small repair bay was not completely deserted. Two figures moved within the ring: one a bulky Besalisk and the other a gangly Human. The two were obviously poorly matched, a fact that was made apparent as the Besalisk balled one hand into a fist and drove it into the man’s stomach, sending him sprawling.

Lucine Vasano stood a few feet away from the ring, examining her nails. If she was bothered by the sound of fists impacting against flesh and the Human’s occasional cries of pain, she did not show it. At last, she inclined her head toward the Besalisk and the brute backed away from the man’s crumpled form. He stood glaring at the man, cracking his knuckles with a menacing expression on his face.

“So, Amrel, are you feeling more inclined to talk?” the redhead asked.

Amrel raised his bruised face from the floor and spat a mouthful of blood in her direction. “Kark off, schutta. If I talk, they’ll kill me,” he snarled, which drew a sigh of annoyance from the Sith.

“It seems that you suffer from a lack of imagination if you think death is the worst thing that can happen to you,” Lucine replied in a saccharine tone. “All I want is the name of the person who ordered the attack on my interests, and the name of the assassin that you put in contact with him. Give me their names, or Gor’lat will start breaking bones.”

The Besalisk perked up at the mention of his name, his face lighting up in a malicious grin. After a moment, however, his expression of homicidal glee became clouded with confusion. “Who’s dat?” he rumbled.

Lucine sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “It is a good thing you excel at violence, darling, because your wits are somewhat lacking. You are Gor’lat, remember?” She then realized that the Besalisk was looking at something outside of the ring.

She turned to see a Kel Dor approaching, carrying a datapad. Though his face was obscured by an Antiox mask and goggles, his gait and posture were relaxed and confident. Silence fell over the group as they watched him draw nearer until he stood just outside of the ring. “Well, this looks unfriendly,” he said by way of greeting.

“They are unfriendly! Help me! Please!” Amrel squealed in desperation.

“Be silent,” Lucine snapped, drawing upon the Force to lend power to her command. The man’s jaws shut with an audible click, cutting off anything more he might have said. “And as for you, this conversation may be unfriendly, but it is also none of your business.”

“Actually, it is my business,” the Kel Dor replied as he tapped something into the interface of his datapad. Abruptly, the lights in the hangar went up, casting the room in a brilliant light. He then gestured toward Amrel with his free hand. “That guy right there? He’s got a 750 credit bounty on his head. But he’s not worth nearly as much as you are, Ms. Vasano. Seems like it’s my lucky day.”

Though the pleasant smile never left her face, Lucine’s eyes narrowed slightly as she studied the Kel Dor intently. She had no intention of letting him take Amrel and was even less inclined to allow him to collect the bounty on her head. “Sorry, darling, but I am afraid you are doomed to disappointment. You will not be collecting either bounty today.” She pushed back her cloak and unclipped her lightsaber from her belt. “I suggest that you take that disgusting hat of yours and move on.”

TuQ’uan sighed heavily through his mask. “A Force user, huh? Well, that explains the hazard pay. I’ve got to know, why does everyone like to insult the hat? It’s a nice hat!”

“You like it so much?” Lucine’s tone became icy. “Then I shall see to it that you are buried with it. Gor’lat? Kill him.”

The Besalisk grinned and began moving his ponderous bulk toward TuQ’uan. The Kel Dor drew his blaster pistol so quickly that it appeared to materialize in his hand. He snapped off two shots as Gor’lat, one red beam of plasma burning into the Besalisk’s shoulder and chest. The smell of burning flesh filled the air as the Besalisk fell to the ground, howling in pain.

With one threat removed, TuQ’uan shifted his aim to the redhead only to see that she was already on the move. Lucine had ignited her lightsaber and was half dragging, half carrying Amrel toward the cover of the generators that powered the shock fences. Her movements were slowed by the man’s struggles. “Why do they always try to run?” the Kel Dor mused as he aimed for the less valuable target and squeezed the trigger.

The shot seemed almost too easy. The blaster bolt seared into Amrel’s knee, drawing a scream of pain. Realizing that they were under fire, Lucine unceremoniously dropped her burden and whirled, bringing her lightsaber up in a defensive stance. Amrel continued to scrabble behind the generators, but TuQ’uan had already drawn a bead on Lucine. He squeezed the trigger three more times, sending crimson bolts hurling her way.

The redhead’s lips curved upward in a smile as she swung the lightsaber in a showy pattern. Sparks flew off of the blade she sent the blaster bolts ricocheting back toward him. The mercenary cursed as he dived out of the way. He lifted his blaster to aim once more, just as the redhead disappeared behind the generators.

Headmistress Alethia Archenksova, 13 June, 2019 1:46 AM UTC

What We Liked

Using NPCs in an ACC match is tricky, especially when you have a tight upper limit on length. However, we think you nailed the balance here. Lucine’s use of a hired thug and the fact that she and TuQ’uan are competing for the same mark provides great mileage for characterization and narrative, but you avoided the temptation to go too deep and neither Gor’lat nor Amren ever get in the way of the core conflict between Lucine and TuQ.

What Needs Work

“Rude on the hat insult </3” - Wally

“n1” - Arch’s bird

There’s really not much to pick at here.

The hangar was nearly silent, save for Amrel’s screams of pain echoing off of the durasteel walls of the Godless Matron.

“You frakking shot me!” he cried out from his position, huddled behind generators.

“And if you don’t shut up, I’ll shoot you again,” TuQ’uan hissed through his Antiox mask. He wasn't worried about the Human -that was 750 credits that wasn’t going anywhere. Cautiously, the mercenary strafed to the left, making a wide path around the last spot he had seen Lucine, ready for whatever surprise she decided to throw at him next. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.

As he came around the generators, he was not surprised to find that Lucine was nowhere to be seen, despite the hangar being completely lit up.

Damn Force users and their tricks.

With all of his experience with people of Lucene’s ilk, he knew that she could be anywhere in this room, including right in front of him. The creaks and groans of the Godless Matron’s hull mixed with the hum of hyperspace and Amrel’s now muffled cries of pain to create an uneasy atmosphere. With his head swivelling and his blaster at the ready, TuQ’uan scanned the room for any sign of his quarry.

Bang.

The Kel Dor nearly jumped out of his skin as he spun around and loosed a volley of plasma toward the unexpected sound. Instead of seeing the Arconan laying on the floor like he was hoping for, TuQ’uan was staring across an empty expanse to where his blaster bolts left a smattering of charred markings tightly grouped together on the far wall. Suddenly, a shadow whipped through the corner of his vision, and he followed it with another series of blaster bolts. The smell of ozone filled the air as again, the frigid room was empty before him. The normally composed mercenary was starting to get jumpy.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” he called out, his voice reverberating and flying back to him. After a moment with no response, a sense of dread began to wash over him like someone was slowly dimming the lights. What if he were in over his head? Was the bounty really worth it? Would he even leave here alive? The nagging voice at the back of his head grew louder and louder; the cool, calm and collected feeling that normally talked him through a mission had given way to the voice of fear and doubt.

TuQ’uan dropped his guard and let out a sigh of resignation, as he took another deep breath ready to give up this folly, the sweet scent of Corellian Blossoms mixed with cinnamon filtered through his mask and filled his nostrils, and the warmth of a soft breath kissed the back of his neck.

“I don’t want to fight you, darling,” the woman’s soft and sultry voice whispered in his ear like a gently breeze on a warm day. Lucine placed her hand on the Kel Dor’s shoulder; softly, she dragged her fingers down TuQ’uan’s arm, slowly adding pressure as she forced the mercenary to lower his blaster. “Just put the blaster down, sweetie, and you don’t have to die.”

The Sith’s mere presence intoxicated the Plagueian. He found it hard to concentrate, and he wanted to do exactly as she asked. The hum in the room changed, and the ship lurched as they dropped out of hyperspace, breaking Lucine’s concentration for just long enough to rouse the Kel Dor from his stupor.

Shaken loose from the Force’s influence, TuQ’uan tightened his grip on his blaster and squeezed the trigger, sending a bolt into the ground at his feet and startling the would-be temptress. Being too close to effectively aim, the mercenary went for a less conventional attack and swung his fist at Lucine’s head with his weapon still in hand. The cold steel of the DL-44’s handle caught the side of her head and sent her copper curls flying.

Lucine whipped back around to face the Kel Dor, her emerald eyes holding a furious gaze. Any amusement that was once visible on her face had completely faded, as a trickle of blood ran down her temple.

Before TuQ’uan could create some distance, Lucine grabbed his wrist and twisted it, his blaster falling to the ground with a clatter. The seeker aimed a chop at the Kel Dor’s throat, which he was able to stop with his own free hand. The two opponents now stood in a stalemate, each with a grip of the other’s dominant hand. Back and forth, they each attempted to pull themselves free while keeping the other subdued. Realizing the struggle was fruitless, TuQ’uan wrapped his leg around Lucine’s and pushed with all of his might.

The two tangled combatants tumbled to the ground, with TuQ’uan landing on top of Lucine, both now free of the other’s grasp. Quickly, the Kel Dor rolled off of the Human and scrambled back towards his fallen blaster, but before he could get far enough, Lucine drew on the Force, pulling it inwards and using its power to launch a furious kick aimed at his ribcage. The heel of her black boot collided with the bone, a sickening crack erupting from the Kel Dor’s chest.

The mercenary collapsed, his face pressed up against the cold steel ground of the hangar. As he lay there, he could hear a pair of light footsteps slowly and deliberately closing the short distance between them. Standing over him was the terrifying sight of the angry redhead.

Headmistress Alethia Archenksova, 13 June, 2019 1:55 AM UTC

What We Liked

Your use of language was wonderful throughout, but I especially liked this sentence:

The cold steel of the DL-44’s handle caught the side of her head and sent her copper curls flying.

The pacing and the action were also very well done. This post started strong with the humorous “I’ll shoot you again” exchange and ended strong with the angry redhead, and you had us hooked all the way through.

What Needs Work

Very little, really. There were some minor syntax issues, namely that this should have been broken up into two sentences:

TuQ’uan dropped his guard and let out a sigh of resignation, as he took another deep breath ready to give up this folly, the sweet scent of Corellian Blossoms mixed with cinnamon filtered through his mask and filled his nostrils, and the warmth of a soft breath kissed the back of his neck.

And that you either need to commit to a space on both sides of your dash, or no spaces at all:

He wasn't worried about the Human -that was 750 credits that wasn’t going anywhere.

Lucine approached slowly, unclipping her lightsaber from her belt. Though there was a pleasant smile on her face, the look of cold fury in her eyes spoke volumes. TuQ’uan huddled on the ground, clutching his side in what he hoped was a convincing show of agony. In truth, most of his discomfort was not feigned. Each breath sent searing pain through his body, causing his breathing to sound like a harsh wheeze. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she drew nearer before lashing out with his foot, tripping her.

She fell to the ground with a heavy thud, but TuQ’uan made no move to press his advantage. Instead, he rolled away, pulling his datapad from his pocket as he did so. It took only a few swipes to open up the interface to the program that gave him remote access to the lighting system. It was the same program he had used to turn up the lights when he had first approached Lucine, and he was glad that he had kept it open.

The redhead was already gaining her feet as he hastily typed in a single command. Abruptly, all of the lights were extinguished, casting the room into murky darkness. The Kel Dor hastily turned off his datapad so that the glow of the screen would not give away his position.

“Hey! Who turned out the lights? What’s going on out there?” Amrel shouted from his hiding spot. TuQ’uan made no move to silence the man. Instead, he used his shouting to cover his movements as he angled around where the woman last stood, trying to reach the spot where his blaster pistol had fallen.

The mission could still be salvaged, but he needed to put some distance between himself and the Force user. It was inadvisable to try to engage the woman in close combat, especially since he did not know what powers she could use.

He moved with slow, measured footsteps in the direction where he thought his weapon was. Every footstep, every agonized breath sounded too loud to his ears, and he expected to be attacked at any moment. But no attack came.

He listened intently, trying to pinpoint the woman’s location, but Amrel’s shouts also obscured her movements. They were both fumbling in the dark, waiting for the other to attack or make a noise.

At last, he felt his boot impact against something small and metallic. He froze, before reaching slowly to feel the familiar surface of his blaster pistol. He picked it up, before nodding grimly to himself. Now he just had to find the redhead. He retrieved his vibrodagger from his belt and hurled it in front of him and slightly to his right. It landed several feet away with a clatter that sounded deafening, even amid the ambient creaks and groans of the ship.

A green plasma blade flared to life, arcing toward the noise. It was all TuQ’uan needed. He lifted his blaster pistol and fired, three shots in rapid succession. He saw the blade angle change to intercept the bolts, causing them to ricochet away harmlessly.

The Kel Dor kept moving, shooting as quickly as his trusted weapon would allow, trying to overcome his opponent through sheer force. The emerald blade weaved in the darkness, creating a mesmerizing pattern. Sparks flew each time a bolt impacted with it, sending the blazing red bolt angling away. Abruptly, the lightsaber blade changed its angle, sending the bolts arcing back toward him. TuQ’uan dived out of the way, and the first bolt passed within inches of his head. The other seared into his right shoulder as he moved, and he cried out in pain.

She was using the trajectory to figure out my location, he realized. The plasma blade winked out, and he could hear the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps. Knowing that the redhead was closing in, TuQ’uan fumbled for the sonic grenade at his belt. Before he could arm it something heavy collided with him, sending him sprawling to the floor. He landed on the same side as his broken ribs, causing stars to explode before his eyes. He was dimly aware of pain blossoming all over his body. The redhead could not see him, so she was simply lashing out as viciously as she could, trying to hit something vital.

“Oy! What in the bleedin’ hell’s goin’ on in here?”

The voice was accompanied by brilliant light as the illumination devices within the room were turned on. Weak with pain, TuQ’uan looked up to see an outraged pirate standing in the control room.

“Nothing of interest,” Lucine said with a disarming smile as she turned to hide her deactivated lightsaber from the pirate’s gaze. She lashed out with her foot, catching the Kel Dor in the temple. He collapsed with a thud, unconscious. “These men owe me money and needed some convincing to pay up.”

“She’s lying! Help!” Amrel called from behind the generators.

Lucine assumed an aggrieved expression as she made an odd twisting gesture with her right hand. “Debtors and liars. Clearly, they deserved a beating.”

The pirate stared at her for a long moment through the control room window, before nodding his head grudgingly. “They deserved a beating,” he repeated slowly, her words striking a particular chord with him. “Yeah, yeah I get it. My cousin’s just like that.”

The Sith beamed, seemingly thrilled that she had found someone who understood her plight. “Would you be a dear and give me a few more minutes alone with them? We were just about to come to an understanding.”

“Ain’t no skin off my nose,” the pirate said.

“No! Don’t leave! Help! Please! She’s crazy!” Amrel shouted, but the pirate gave no response as he exited the control room, no doubt to seek out the money his cousin owed him.

“Now,” Lucine said in a saccharine time. “Amrel, darling? It is time we finished our little chat.”

Headmistress Alethia Archenksova, 13 June, 2019 1:47 AM UTC

What We Liked

I felt like this post did everything I could ask for in terms of action and characterization, but it was the little details like this that really sold it for me. Of course TuQ would use his vibroblade to trick Lucine into giving away her position with her glowbat, and of course she’d turn that back around on him when he shot glowbullets at her.

Also, this is one of my favorite Mind Trick quotes now: “They deserved a beating,...Yeah, yeah I get it. My cousin’s just like that.”

What Needs Work

You had a comma splice:

He lifted his blaster pistol and fired, three shots in rapid succession.

“You couldn’t just stay out of my business, could you?” She placed her foot firmly on the Kel Dor’s skull.

TuQ’uan let out a groan of pain, it felt like his head were in a vice as it was squeezed between Lucine’s black boot and the floor.

“You know, I really didn’t want to kill you,” she continued.

“Don’t…worry...about...me,” the mercenary gasped, he was worried that if he didn’t act soon his head was going to pop like a meiloorun. Slowly he moved his arm to his side and wiggled his stiletto blade out of its hiding place.

“Oh don’t worry, darling, I wasn’t,” the corner of her mouth turned up with a smirk. The amusement lasted a mere moment before TuQ’uan drove his blade into the calf pinning him to the ground.

Lucine’s jaw clamped shut and she let out a guttural howl of pain. TuQ’uan pushed the blade further into the muscle with all of his might, forcing the Human to remove her foot from its place holding him against the ground. As Lucine put weight on her fresh injury, a blast of intense pain shot up through her leg, forcing her down to her knee. The Kel Dor picked himself up off of the floor and gave his head a shake, a dull pounding remained in his temples.

“Now then, if you would just cooperate and come with me, I think I’ll be collecting that bounty now.” TuQ’uan pulled out his datapad and looked for the closest bounty office. “Hmm, do you think you can survive with that wound for another...six hours?”

“How much is the bounty? I’ll pay you double!” Lucine’s voice shook as she pled with the mercenary standing before her. “Here, take it all!”

The Sith cautiously moved her hand towards a pouch on her belt. Suddenly she opened the drawstring pouch and threw the contents of the bag at her captor.

“What the frak?” he exclaimed with more frustration than anything.

TuQ’uan turned away as the fine crystalline powder flew in his face. Lucine knew that the blinding powder would have no effect on the Kel Dor’s goggled eyes, but it provided enough of a distraction for her to launch herself forward. The Human’s attack was less graceful than it normally would have been as she more or less fell onto her opponent; though she was able to land a blow as her fist impacted with the mercenary’s jugular. Unable to breathe, TuQ’uan’s hands shot up to grasp at his throat leaving his datapad to fall to the ground at their feet.

“Come...on…” TuQ’uan choked out as he pushed the redhead away.

Lucine caught herself on the nearby generators as she tumbled away from the mercenary.

“I’m starting to think that collecting the bounty on your pretty, little head would be less satisfying than just killing you now.” The Plagueian brushed the remaining blinding powder from his face. “But, I really want those credits. So if you would please stop resisting and come with me, that would be great.”

As TuQ’uan rambled on before her, Lucine closed her eyes and took a deep breath drawing once again on the power of the Force. She was becoming exhausted and the pain in her leg was throbbing but she pushed through. The woman’s emerald eyes flashed open and with a flick of her wrist, the mercenary’s datapad shot through the air and into her waiting hand.

Despite the expressionless face of the Kel Dor, a clearly shocked TuQ’uan quickly patted himself down forgetting that he had dropped his datapad in the confusion. Lucine was leaning all of her weight on the generator as her fingers danced across the small glowing screen in her hands.

“Don’t move.” A sinister smile grew across the woman’s face. “Thanks to your little toy here, I’m going to walk out of here, and there is nothing you can do to stop me.”

TuQ’uan was frozen in place thinking of all of the ship’s systems he had given himself access to and how they could be used against him. Yellow warning lights flashed all through Hangar Zerek as the hangar doors began to peel open to reveal the cold dark expanse of space beyond the forcefield.

“You’re just going to let me walk out of here, or I can space you right here and now.”

Starting as a chuckle, a laugh quickly grew, erupting from the Kel Dor. Lucine almost looked concerned for his mental state. After a moment, TuQ’uan subdued his fit of laughter and cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry, is that supposed to be a threat? Are you trying to kill me?” The chuckle fought its way back up TuQ’uan’s throat. “You realize I can survive in the vacuum of space right? At least longer than you can. What you’re talking about is called suicide, plus you’ll lose your punching bag over there and whatever information you were trying to get out of him.”

The menacing smile faded from Lucine’s face.

“Alright, let’s try something else then. I’ll transfer you some credits right now, enough to cover both my bounty and his.” She jerked her head towards Amrel, who looked like he had passed out at some point during their confrontation. “Plus some extra, we’ll call it hazard pay for all of this. But, I will get a future favour from you. I don’t know what yet, but you’re resourceful and I can use that.”

Lucine, tossed the datapad back to TuQ’uan who looked at the number displayed on the screen and simply nodded in acknowledgment, that was certainly enough. The mercenary collected his DL-44 and exited the hangar, refusing to take his eyes off of the Force user as he went.

Once the doors slid closed leaving Lucine and Amrel alone in the cold, empty hangar she exhaled sharply and slid to the ground, slumping against the generator she had been using as support.

Headmistress Alethia Archenksova, 13 June, 2019 1:47 AM UTC

What We Liked

As with your opponent, basically all of it. You wove the two characters and their environment together into a seamless whole, and I like it more every time I read it. Every word and action makes perfect sense given the context and the character aspects.

What Needs Work

Again, just a few minor syntax things. For example, there were some comma issues at the very end:

Lucine[ ]tossed the datapad back to TuQ’uan who looked at the number displayed on the screen and simply nodded in acknowledgment[. T]hat was certainly enough.