"You are funny, you know that?" the Anzat smiled at his human opponent as his face tentacles swayed back and forth. His eyes flashed dangerously. "We both know you are favoring your one foot when you step."
Bentre growled in frustration at the Guardian’s words. I can’t bounce around without landing on that ankle, and he hits hard. If I can’t move quickly, I am going to have to find a way to take advantage of his wounded hand.
Stepping sideways tenderly, Bentre’s eyes searched his surroundings, looking for any potential obstacles. I might be able to take him down if I am smart about it. The Jedi Hunter pulled his blaster out in a quick action, throwing his arm out straight and firing a burst of hot plasma bolts. He hopped a few times to his left, hoping that Krataa would take his bait.
His hopes were not realized. With a natural grace, the Anzat sidestepped the shots, and rushed forward to close the small distance between the two. Krataa brought his lightsaber down toward his opponent in a full swing, and both weapons sparked and crackled as they met between the two humanoids.
“Come on, now.” the Krath Inquisitor cooed as he kicked back from the attack. He began to circle his Obelisk opponent, his footing even and controlled as he did so. He was more than ready as Bentre turned sideways and slashed toward him uneasily. “Just give up,” the Anzat chuckled. “We can both see you are having trouble walking, let alone holding up in a fight.” To prove his point, he swiped his weapon across the back of the human’s jacket, causing the smell of burning leather to creep up to their noses.
His voice was just barely audible over the din of the cheering and jeering Massassi. Bentre could not make out the words clearly, so he instinctively shook his head, and planted his good foot as he prepared to attack again. I just have to push a little harder. I have to ignore the pain just a little longer.
”Because of course, that always works,” the words came through clear as day, even in the midst of the cacophony of voices surrounding them. The human immediately turned his head, looking around for the source.
Krataa looked at the human with a touch of pity. The boy looked lost in the middle of the ring. He didn’t even seem to be paying attention to the Anzat’s words, and he was barely able to dodge anything as it was. There was nothing more to be learned from all this. The Jedi Hunter had a lot to learn, and there was nothing for Krataa to prove now. He would have to make the human’s humiliation quick.
”Move your body, already!” the voice urged Bentre with a growl, ”You might as well be standing still!”
The Guardian stepped forward, approaching the dazed Jedi Hunter from behind. He raised his lightsaber to eye level, and brought the hilt down in a hard motion toward the back of the Obelisk’s head.
”Now!” the voice screamed, and with a newfound energy, Bentre launched off his uninjured foot. He stumbled as he fell on his injured ankle, but the Krath’s hilt missed its target completely.
“That is cute, really,” the Anzat shook his head. He was a little impressed at this final show of defiance he had to admit to himself. There was a feral fire in the human’s eyes, but this combat had become little more than a farce at this point. It was time to put an end to the Obelisk’s embarrassment.
As the Krath stepped forward, Bentre knew he was running out of options. His mind raced, figuring how he might manage to turn the odds in his favor. I will not be defeated by some Krath. He ground his teeth together, raising his weapon warningly as the Anzat stepped forward, his tentacles twitching with each step.
”I think it's a little late for that, Benny.” The growling voice whispered in his left ear. ”Unless you can part the lightsaber and its owner, you are as good as lunch.”
Actually that might work, the human Jedi Hunter realized.
As Krataa stepped within lightsaber’s reach, Bentre got ready to step aside. He had one shot at this. As the Inquisitor closed in on the Assassin, Bentre shifted his weight to his bad ankle, and braced himself for the immense pain.
Krataa brought his weapon around in a full swing, and Bentre rushed reached toward the Guardian and touched his pointer and middle finger to his opponent’s wrist. A sharp crack was heard, and the Krath’s face twisted with an unexpected pain. The lightsaber fell from his hands, and hit the stone platform loudly as the cheers of the Massassi savages roared out.
That hand was already a little tender to start with, the human smiled to himself. I might have a chance to finish this.
”There might be hope for you yet.”
Without missing a beat, the Anzat shifted his weight to his back leg, and delivered a sharp kick to Bentre’s ribs. The force of the blow was more than enough to send the human off balance. His arms pinwheeled as he began to fall, and he felt a sharp pain as his head hit the ground.
The Massassi cries grew to a roar as Krataa watched the Obelisk hit the ground. He was not moving now, though. The Anzat walked over slowly, kicking the lightsaber away from the still but breathing form. The human was defeated, and there was nothing more to prove.
He had not been lying when he said it had been a long time, though. His stomach seemed to turn, and instinct was winning the conflict which boiled within him. With his victory in hand, the Krath found himself leaning down over the Obelisk. There was no reason to waste such an opportunity though.
His tentacles twitched excitedly as he lowered his head, and the Massassi's cheers erupted again as he deeply drank his fill of the Jedi Hunter’s soup.
Should end the dialogue with a comma, since it is leading into "the young Krath".
Lead into the dialogue with a comma.
You, more or less, stated the same thing twice over here. He is climbing the ranks quite fast, then he is a rising star within the Clan.
Consider ending the sentence before the dialogue, and trailing out of the quotes with a comma.
You fell into the "name avoidance" trap. While it is good to use references other than first name repeatedly, here you state "as his robe fell" then "the Obelisk laughed". In the context of the sentence, this reads as the Obelisk (Bentre) being the one with the falling robe.
This reads that the Jedi Hunter is on the ground, which hasn't been previously established and lacks continuity.
The bicep belongs to the right arm but the tricep doesn't belong to the left arm? This is inconsistent.
This should be "bolt's".
This is a bit jarring to the flow of the story. Consider how this fits in the scheme of the section. The focus is on your attack, then suddenly you switch to the Massassi behind you and consume the remainder of the paragraph with it.
Good attempt to utilize your opponent's abilities, however remember to factor in your own. With +3 Resolve, it would be difficult for a +1 Illusion to fool you so readily. I'll chalk this up to distraction due to the pain of the two shots you took (which you seem to be ignoring) but keep this in mind.
Consider separating out "fired in quick succession" with punctuation to ease the sentence flow. As well, why did it strike a Massassi? What happened to cause this? If you dodged, it wasn't relayed to the reader.
Good, you reacted to the pain this time, but what of the two in your arms? Based on what I know of battle wounds, it should be excruciating to be fighting at all right now, at least using your arms.