Acolyte Tali Zorah vs. Seer Kordath Bleu d'Tana

Acolyte Tali Zorah

Journeyman 2, Journeyman tier, Clan Arcona
Female Twi'lek, Force Disciple, Seeker
vs.

Seer Kordath Bleu d'Tana

Equite 3, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Male Ryn, Force Disciple, Arcanist, Krath
Comment

I would like to apologize for the length it took to grade this match.

I want to start by saying that this was a particularly fun match to grade. The two of you took what could have been just a boring simple "training" match and turned it into something incredible interesting and compelling. Both of you did a phenomenal job of driving the story, and Tali, I was particularly impressed with the way you drove through the combat in your final post.

Tali, your score dropped a bit in Realism on that single error referenced in the comments. It just seemed like an odd thing to say when Kordath had been fully aware of Tali's former slavery and uses that against her repeatedly. Your final post and having the break you was extremely well written and you're going to have a great DB career in the ACC. Phenomenal work. The only real errors in your syntax were word repetition and one extra "T."

Kordath, you started this match out beautifully. Incredible work driving the match forward. I just found your ending a little anti-climactic. While they ended in a similar vein, I just feel like Tali took it to the next level giving us a very clear winner.

Both of you are phenomenal writers and should both be very proud of this work. Well done to you both, and congratulations to Tali on your victory!

Hall Duelist Hall - Old Container
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Acolyte Tali Zorah, Seer Kordath Bleu d'Tana
Winner Acolyte Tali Zorah
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Acolyte Tali Zorah's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Seer Kordath Bleu d'Tana's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Shadow Academy - Sparring Room
Last Post 28 November, 2016 6:49 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Adept Alaris Jinn
Syntax - 15%
General Stres'tron'garmis Aedile Tali Sroka
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: A few errors but nothing egregious. Rationale: A few errors, but nothing that pulled me out of the match.
Story - 40%
General Stres'tron'garmis Aedile Tali Sroka
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: You had a very strong start but I was a little disappointed with an anti-climactic ending. Rationale: A very well written match, with a very strong final post.
Realism - 25%
General Stres'tron'garmis Aedile Tali Sroka
Score: 5 Score: 4
Rationale: I didn't see any errors. Rationale: I found it slightly difficult to believe that Kordath would be surprised that Tali would follow his commands when she is a former slave with a Resolve of +1.
Continuity - 20%
General Stres'tron'garmis Aedile Tali Sroka
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: I couldn't find any errors. Rationale: I couldn't find any errors.
General Stres'tron'garmis's Score: 4.45 Aedile Tali Sroka's Score: 4.6
Posts

You enter one of the dozens of sparring chambers within the Shadow Academy of Lyspair, the simple square room utilized mostly by those learning the ways of the lightsaber. This five hundred square-foot room, rectangular in shape, is nearly barren. The floor is lined with simple padding, while the walls are made of dull, grey durasteel, gauged by innumerable lightsaber strikes, scarring the metal permanently.

The ceiling towers above you, nearly twenty feet in height, allowing for plenty of movement from the more acrobatic of Force users. There are no other adornments within the room, save for the entrance and lighting that bathes the entire room, yet seems to come from nowhere. All corners of the room are perfectly lit, with no visible shadows to speak of. There is nowhere for you to hide within the room, but… there's no room for your opponent to hide either.

The Ryn sat in a standard meditative pose, his jacket tossed to the floor next to him. To the casual observer it might have seemed as if he were in a trance, rather than asleep. For the Twi’lek fidgeting in the center of the room, her cape hanging down her back and covering her slender lekku, it was an unusual situation. The Rollmaster had summoned her for some kind of training exercise and every fiber of her being told her this casual nap of his was a trap. Tali Zorah was uncertain if she should wake him or simply leave, finally clearing her throat loudly as she crossed her arms and stared at him.

There was no outward sign of waking, likely because Bleu had been awake the whole time. It was always interesting to see what the new Journeymen would do if they caught their supposed teacher having a nap. Some would do what Tali was doing now, avoiding changing the situation. Others thought that the object of the lesson was to get the drop on him, others rationalised laziness by deciding he needed the rest and simply left. She’d made a token attempt to wake him, perhaps it was time to start the training.

With the simplicity of the sparring room, her constant little movements as she tried to stand still and the attempt to wake him the Ryn was quite certain of where she was. What little he’d drawn out of her about her life before they’d run into one another, Kordath convincing her to come and get a proper Force education, gave him some options. It wasn’t a nice one, it was probably cruel but she had to get used to the psychological attempts people would make on her, the Galaxy was a crappy place after all.

Drawing a whistling breath through his fluted nose and exhaling, drawing Tali’s prompt attention, he projected with the Force. To the corner behind and to the left of the Twi’lek came a buzzing sound, akin to the wings that held certain species aloft. A noise he was fairly certains he was familiar with from her past life of servitude. He could sense her anxiety rise at the sound and heard the sound of boots moving on the padding. Opening his eyes he saw her turn towards the illusory buzz and rose to his own feet in silence. The Ryn watched her, the head turning this way and that as she looked for the noise, her shoulders taut and hand already upon her saber hilt.

She was taller than him by nearly a bloody foot, though he’d be the first to admit that she was put together well. The likes of her weren’t made slaves because of their strong backs and work ethic, after all. He cleared his throat this time, drawing her attention back around, the cape flowing as she quickly turned. With a slight gesture he dismissed the illusion he’d used and shook his head at her.

“Coulda’ shanked ya, lass, ya gotta learn to trust in somethin’ other than yer ears, eh? Shoulda known from tha get go that there wasn’t nothin’ real behind ya, no presence in tha Force and all that nonsense. How tha hell did ya survive before I came along, cripes,” he said, shaking his head and pacing around her. She turned slowly, keeping the shifty Ryn in sight with a glare.

“I know when to run,” stated Tali, bluntly. “And I know my way out when trouble starts.”

He nodded, a grin spreading across his face. She’d been living on the move, much as he himself had. The similarities in their past was one of the reasons he was taking an interest in the former slave; that and he felt somewhat beholden after pulling her into the mess that was the Brotherhood. Some of his fellow Arconan’s assumed it was due to more base reasons, one of the many reasons he was still annoyed by the lack of transparency in his relationship with their team leader. If people knew, they’d maybe not assume this was simple lechery. Not that he didn’t enjoy watching the Twi’lek go through saber forms, working up a sweat. He was still a guy.

“Know when ta run, know where ta run to, both good, better is knowin’ what ta expect when ya have ta. Bein’ able ta reach out and feel the people in a room, who’s gonna be likely ta blast ya, who’s gonna run, who dinnae want ta get involved. Where yer target is, dependin’ on tha mission.”

“Isn’t that why we have intel meetings before a mission?” He’d have thought she was being sarcastic if she wasn’t still so bleeding fresh.

“Ya know what ya can trust from intel, luv? Where yer goin’ and maybe tha layout of tha buildin’ ya gotta work through. After that, do nae trust a bloody thing ya don’t see or feel on yer own. Yer own eyes, yer own senses, those are tha best intel ya can trust. And even then?” he shrugged and waved a hand to produce another illusory sound, this time the crack of a whip. She cringed at the sound, and while he felt a pang to his conscience he still knew this was necessary. He also noted the way her jaw set and back straightened in defiance and wondered just how long she’d been working towards her freedom before an opportunity had risen.

“Ya got spirit, lass, that’ll serve ya well. But ya gotta start recognizing what’s real and what ain’t.”

Kordath stopped pacing and took a moment to stretch, working his arms in circles while doing some short squats. He took in the cocked eyebrow and look of amusement well enough, his tail lashing behind him the only sign he’d noticed.

“And ya should really learn ta do it while yer distracted,” he stated as he lowered himself into another squat. His left foot trailed back as he started to rise and pushed him forward towards the Twi’lek who reflexively stepped aside to avoid his sudden attack. She’d moved with the practiced fluidity of a dancer, one leg coming up to lash out as he passed her. It must have been a surprise when her other foot was yanked out from under her as something tightened on her ankle and jerked away her stability.

Bleu turned to face her with a smile as she rolled back to her feet, glaring at him as his tail rose up over one shoulder and waggled at her in a mock wave. “Think on yer toes, luv, let’s see what ya can do, eh?”

Adept Alaris Jinn, 10 December, 2016 7:50 PM UTC

Story

The likes of her weren’t made slaves because of their strong backs and work ethic, after all.

Love the humour here.


Syntax

“I know when to run,” stated Tali, bluntly. “And I know my way out when trouble starts.”

A comma after "bluntly" and removing the capital from "and" would have made this read easier and made more grammatical sense.

“Think on yer toes, luv, let’s see what ya can do, eh?”

Two different thoughts should be split into two different sentences.


Realism

She cringed at the sound, and while he felt a pang to his conscience he still knew this was necessary.

Neat use of your opponent's aspect: "Former Slave."

She wasn’t quite sure which stung more, the pain in her backside or the blow to her pride, though they both felt quite painful. She did not fancy herself a warrior by any means and this while exercise was precisely that, an exercise to help her defend herself when out and about. That said, the ease with which this oddly speaking creature had sent her to the floor was more than a bit humiliating, especially after the tricks he’d played on her senses.

It was easy for him to speak of being calm and trusting the senses which she barely even knew how to access when every fiber of her body was tensing up to bolt away or fight for her life, fully expecting to see Kar’Dannaa floating into view with the neuronic whip in hand, ready to take back what he saw as his possessions. The shiver that ran down her spine due to the mental image was equal parts dread and sympathetic feedback from the times she’d been struck by the cruel weapon. Often times merely for sport… Doing her best to push aside the memories and focus on the world around her, Tali let out a deep breath and focused back on her opponent, mentor… person. She was not quite sure what species he represented, but that hardly mattered at the moment. Despite his diminutive appearance, he clearly knew what he was talking about, or at the very least pulled off a very convincing show of it.

Letting her mind calm, she focused on the oddly perceived world around her that her mentors called the Force and did her best to extend her senses into that plane to verify her mundane ones.

Seeing that the Twi’lek was doing as he’d told her, the Ryn suppressed a smile. At least she was willing to learn. Once again he willed into existence the sound of a Toydarian’s flapping wings, the sound immediately gaining a visible reaction from the girl as her lips twisted into a scowl. Just before he could repeat his earlier directions, her expression seemed to calm as she pushed aside the disturbing sounds and though she still seemed distraught, at least she was aware that the sound wasn’t real.

“Well done, lass!” The Ryn complimented her, feeling it necessary to offer at least some encouragement after his rough treatment of her, yet a moment later he remembered the reason he was here and that this encounter was not to be amicable in nature. Being friendly now would do a disservice to her and though he was not comfortable with the idea of hurting her, a little pain now might save her from a fate far worse in the future.

Lowering himself into a combat crouch, his hands up in a ready stance and head barely at the height of her midriff, his tail snaked up behind him and gestured in a rather universally mocking fashion for her to strike at him.

Tali had felt unapologetically pleased with herself when she heard the praise and seeing the furry man drop into a combat stance once more forced a smirk on her lips. The sound of the Toydarian wings suppressed from her mind, she dropped into a combat stance of her own, mirroring his in many ways before channeling her powers to glimpse at her foe’s plans before making her move.

Sliding forward to keep her feet near the ground and avoid the sweeping tail, she raised her front foot to jab at him with a low kick. The Ryn feinted to the left, like she’d expected and as her foot trailed forward she twisted it to the side to catch him as he moved.

The sound of a buzzing whip cracking through the air froze all motion in her body and she lost her balance, her carefully planned attack falling as flat as herself when she tumbled to the ground with a rough splat. Groaning in pain as she coughed and tried to regain the breath that had been knocked out of her lungs, Tali muttered something foul under her breath in her native tongue which was best left untranslated.

“C’mon, lass. Don’t get cocky now! Ya coulda’ done so much bettar. Focus. It’s all in tha mind…” He tried to repeat his earlier teaching, but to her ears it began to sound like the mocking of an annoying Kowakian monkey-lizard.

Pushing herself back up, her expression turned darker and she could feel a rising strength inside her. The whispers she’d heard when she first touched her lightsaber aboard Kar’Dannaa’s ship returned and though she was quite certain they were not real; her Force senses oddly enough did not entirely support her assumption.

The flapping of the wings returned, but she swiftly pushed that aside as an obvious distraction. Her mind now honed with frustration and anger, a desire to show this creature that she wouldn’t be made a fool of surging through her, she slid back into a combat stance and almost immediately sprang into action. This time, however, she went in straight for the target without much finesse, knowing that despite her slender frame she had the advantage in size and, she regretted to admit it, bulk compared to her foe.

Sliding forward in a single fluent motion, she made to slam her palms into his chest and send her flying backwards, but such a predictable move was easily countered. Kordath simply side-stepped the bold and foolish attack, fueled by little more than primal frustration and prepared to trip her once more. For a moment he’d seen some potential in her, but her temper clearly needed work.

He barely had time to finish the thought when he felt something grab his lapels and pull him off balance. Tali had seen his dodge coming and shifted her hands to grip him when he dodged. Her slender hands darting out with lighting speed, she’d taken a firm hold of the front of his robes and yanked him off his feet, pulling him with her and propelling him sideways with her momentum alone before letting go at the end of her travel. The Ryn was sent stumbling for a few paces, trying desperately to reacquire his balance when the Twi’lek struck again, shooting out her front leg in a sweeping curve to swipe at his legs. Focusing hastily to throw up another distraction, he found himself unable to muster the concentration in the hectic moment and the illusion of a whip crack never fully manifested before the blow struck home and he fell down on the padded floor.

Tali, for her part, had already retreated back into her combat stance, ready for a counter attack of some sort when a sudden chuckle burst into the air. Her eyes shifted from side to side, Force augmented sense scouring the area for the source of the illusion only to trace it back to the Ryn, though not as an illusion.

Chuckling to himself as he pushed himself to his feet, the Ryn nodded to himself and turned to face the purple hued Twi’lek once more. “Atta las! Knew ya had sum spunk in ya!” He chuckled. “Again!” He smirked. “But try ta stay calm. Yar mind works clearer when ya do.”

Adept Alaris Jinn, 10 December, 2016 7:57 PM UTC

Syntax

...the pain in her backside or the blow to her pride, though they both felt quite painful.

Careful with the repeated use of "pain." It comes off a little clumsy in your writing.

Tali had seen his dodge coming and shifted her hands to grip him when he dodged.

Again, the repeating.


Story

fully expecting to see Kar’Dannaa floating into view with the neuronic whip in hand,

Be careful when referencing things not on your character sheet. It may be prudent to write a custom aspect specifically referencing Kar'Dannaa. I'm not going to dock you for it because you were fairly clear that this person was Tali's owner, just keep that in mind for the future.


Realism

Seeing that the Twi’lek was doing as he’d told her, the Ryn suppressed a smile. At least she was willing to learn.

Tali knows how to obey as a former slave. It may even be instinctive to follow commands because she is only an Acolyte and only has a Resolve of +1.

She had some raw talent, he’d give her that, but she definitely lacked much in the way of formal training when it came to her forms. He could see the bare beginnings of his own style, though she was relying more on brute force. Against anyone else the slender Twi’lek’s efforts would have been laughable, but with him she had reach and mass on her side. She was flexible too when she wasn’t letting anger cloud her thoughts. Still, the unpredictability had served her well enough. Not that he hadn’t sensed it coming, he may have even been able to evade it, but the girl needed a confidence boost if she was going to make it through this.

Kordath could appreciate her efforts, she didn’t want to stand and fight, wasn’t her way. Wasn’t his, either, which made it all the more important that she knew how to stand up for herself. He shook himself from his thoughts, she looked ready. With a grin, he settled back into a defensive stance, arms up and palms open.

“Come on, lass, show me somethin’ that makes this day worthwhile, eh?”

He didn’t have to wait long, she came in kicking and swinging with brow furrowed in concentration. With some admiration he ducked a kick she’d swung herself around for, pivoting on one foot in a manner that screamed dancer. What he appreciated more was the way she followed up with a backhand, even if it did make his cheek sting. Her cape had managed to fill his view for a moment before she struck, causing a distraction.

At least she’s using the bleedin’ thing, be a touch ridiculous otherwise.

The Ryn did his best to match her pace, this was about her learning not him sweeping her feet everytime she got near him. After the initial face slap, she picked up her speed which brought a grin to his own lips. Falling into a rhythm with her and the Force, he began casually brushing aside strikes and attempts to grab at his shirt and vest. He was pressed hard enough not to be able to focus on illusory distractions, so a more direct one seemed to be called for. This was about her focusing through things, after all. With a half-step to his left as she went in for an open palm strike to his chest, she found it skip off his shoulder instead.

With the momentum of the hit, he spun himself around her with swiftness, one hand going out to do something many would consider inappropriate. The sound of a hand slapping the Twi’lek’s backside filled the quiet of the sparring room, and he’d figured he had even odds on her either freezing up or lashing out.

What he’d not figured was indignant anger and probably more than a little bit of a reminder of her past life prompting her to pull the saber hilt from her belt. The yellow blade thrummed to life even as she swung it around towards the shorter man, who ducked and scrambled backward. He drew the alchemically treated blade from the small of his back, spinning the weapon in his hand before holding it in a reverse grip. The next blow came from above, her attack direct and simple as to be expected from a novice. That didn’t make it any less dangerous as it skipped off the Sith dagger he batted it away with.

“Lass! Ya gots ta calm down, yeah? Gonna end up skewerin’ me with that toy of yours!” His shouts fell on deaf ears as she came at him again, causing the Rollmaster to dance back. At least it was a big room.

Guess I properly ticker her off this time. Grand, good job, Bleu. It’s like a bleedin’ talent it is.

The training form was simple and direct, swinging and chopping at the nimble Ryn as he waited for her temper to run out. Part of him was chastising himself over his smoking habit, not to mention the drink, as he felt his shirt start to stick to his back from sweat. Another near hit was knocked aside, leaving the smell acrid fumes as his blade hissed from the superheated plasma. She was giving him a workout at least. Also,it seemed like Tali was slowing down, face covered in a sheen of perspiration as the anger began to drain to be replaced with the first signs of fatigue.

“Ya alright, luv?” He lifted his offhand as he spoke, palm open as he did so, letting the Force flow through his words as he spoke. “Might be time ta stand down, eh? Turn off that saber and calm it down a bit. Just for a minute, take a breather. Just calm it down.”

He watched as his Force laden speech sank in, the blinking of uncertainty and confused look on Tali’s face as her armory saber deactivated. She looked down it like it was an unfamiliar thing, likely unsure of why she’d shut it off in the first place. More odd was the fuzzy gray hand that pulled it gently from her grip while she simply stared. She watched as he tucked the saber into the back of his belt and look at her in concern.

“Ya better? Looks like we got some anger stuff ta work through, or somethin’. That’s fine, anger ain’t all bad, Tali, but ya can’t let it be in charge of ya. Ya did good, real good, for a while there before I, eh, I may have crossed a line. But when yer sparrin’ partner says stop, it means stop, alright?”

She nodded, her eyes focusing again as the mental suggestions faded, taking a shuddering breath.

“Grand, now I think we’re done for tha day. Let’s go get a drink or somethin’, ya can ask questions. And I’ll keep me tail in check.”

He saw the inquisitive look that last bit roused and grinned, giving the Twi’lek a wink. “Bloody thing has a mind of its own, let’s just say that, luv.”

“You are the strangest little man,” he heard her murmur.

“Aye.”

Adept Alaris Jinn, 10 December, 2016 8:05 PM UTC

Story

Not that he hadn’t sensed it coming, he may have even been able to evade it, but the girl needed a confidence boost if she was going to make it through this.

I loved this.


Realism

...pivoting on one foot in a manner that screamed dancer.

Again referencing her past as a slave. Nice.

"Turn off that saber and calm it down a bit. Just for a minute, take a breather. Just calm it down."

Referencing Paths here subtly. Very nice work.

Syntax

Also,it seemed like Tali was slowing down,

Just missed a space.

Tali felt far too proud with her achievement, but at the same time it unsettled her as she was not quite sure if she’d planned that attack on her own or if she’d been ‘inspired’ by something else. However, whatever the cause, she had managed to do something right and she felt encouraged to press on though this time with a bit more control.

Moving into a low ready stance, legs more than shoulder width apart and facing the Ryn sideways on with her left flank presented, the Twi’lek could already hear the sound of running boots closing in, something about the plastic clanking making her imagine stormtroopers. Yet as quickly as the mental image had formed, she had brushed it aside and all she could hear was the faint humming of the ventilation.

Pushing her momentary advantage, she stepped forward to close the distance between herself and the Ryn. Kordath smartly bolted out of the way to avoid repeating the same outcome as last time and chose to dash to her left, ending up behind her back where she was defenseless. Or so he thought.

Dropping down at the end of her travel, she swept her right leg around in a wide arc, foot skimming the matting as it circled around in a counterclockwise pirouette that would have made a figure skater proud and barely managed to snatch the Ryn’s hind leg as he tried to break away. She was in no position to capitalize on her advantage, however, dangerously overstretched as she was, but instead chose to consolidate her position and shifted her weight up to her right foot where it had stopped and reassuming her ready stance once more.

“Hah! Ah knew it! There’s more spunk in ya than I thought…” Kordath chuckled, barely aware of his poor choice of words in the presence of the former pleasure slave, but in the heat of the moment Tali didn’t seem to care enough to be offended.

Instead, she pressed her advantage and attacked again, repeating her previous motions, but with more purpose and speed. The Ryn, however, was not left unprepared and as she began her attack she was suddenly assaulted by the sensation of something rushing towards her face, arcing in from the right in a brown blur of motion and accompanied by a whizzing whip-crack.

She reflexively raised her right arm to protect her face, losing balance and leaving herself exposed before she had enough presence of mind to dispel the illusion. Yet in that nick of time the Ryn had spun around and sent his tail coming in from the left, aimed to slap her across the face.

Were it not for her Force augmented senses, Tali would have been sorely slapped across the cheek, but a fleeting warning of the incoming danger was all she needed to duck beneath the organic whip and snatch it with her right hand, already raised and ready. Grabbing a hold of the Ryn’s tail and halting his rotation rather abruptly, he let out a yelp of surprise, followed by a cascade of demands. “Oi! Easy with tha tail, lass! Leggo leggo leggo!” He blurted as he tried to free his tail from her grasp and ease the discomfort on the appendage.

Not particularly keen on either causing him pain or holding on to the furry tail, she abided his wishes and promptly let go. The Ryn clutched his freed tail for a moment before letting it once again trail behind him and then flashed a toothy grin. “Nay bad, lass. Ah think we can give it a go with weapons. Real easy, yeah. Jus’ tha see how ya fare, hmm?” He said as he nodded towards her lightsaber.

Nodding tensely, she reached for the cool grip of her weapon and unhooked it from her belt. The metal felt cold against her fingers and the weapon far heavier than she remembered as she brought it up to the safe activation stance and pressed the ignition button. Flashing to life, the plasma blade sprung to life as a yellow beam before her eyes and though it was contained and safe, the fact she was about to spar with the weapon did make her jump ever so minutely at the spectacle.

Remembering her training, she calmed herself and slowly the wavering tip of her blade stabilized as she stood at a very solid ready stance with saber held in a 45 degree angle in front of her, gripped firmly by both hands with legs slightly bent and in line with her blade.

Kordath felt a moment of anxiety as the girl deployed her weapon and saw her reaction to it. He wasn’t afraid that she’d do him any harm with the way she was holding the weapon, but rather that she’d cut herself by accident. For a fleeting moment he imagined one of her lekku getting tangled with the blade and ending seared clean off. Not a terribly comforting thought and something he was sure he’d get yelled at later.

But, he had suggested this, so no backing out now. He just had to take it slow and make sure the girl kept her focus up.

“Good, don’ look at tha blade. Feel et. Ah know ya can do et.” He tried his best to guide her with a calming, almost mentoring tone that he hoped would give the girl a bit more courage. She held potential, but she was too skittish. Somehow she needed to grow a backbone, or learn to use the one she already had.

Nodding at the Ryn, Tali took her eyes off the blade and shook her shoulders to relax her stiff stance a bit, though only managing a minute shift at best. “Will that really stop a lightsaber?” She asked as she watched the Ryn pull out his Sith knife. The toothy smirk he flashed in reply was all the answer she needed and taking another deep breath to focus, she felt ready.

Pulling the blade back a bit as she slid forward, delivering a simple straight down cut at the Ryn who found no trouble in simply side-stepping her stilted attack and jabbing her in the side with the pommel of his knife. “Yer gotta do a lot better than that, lassie.” He stated as she rubbed her side with one hand and then gripping her blade with both hands once again. It had been an almost insultingly reserved attack, she admitted.

Nodding with a more determined look on her face, Tali tried to be a bit more aggressive this time, dashing ahead with more speed and bringing her saber around in a sideward slash from her right. The Ryn raised his knife and caught the blade against it, the Sith knife halting the saber blade’s path like it’d struck a ray shield.

Momentarily distracted by this seemingly impossible event, Tali only barely saw the Ryn moving in to grab her sword arm and prepare to throw her over his shoulder and into the mat. As he did so, she instead swiped with her front leg and tripped the Ryn as he worked his way inside her guard, sending him falling to the ground, but not before he managed to get a solid grasp of her arm and ending up pulling her down with him.

Her grip on the saber loosened and the blade slid back into the hilt, preventing injury as the two tumbled into a rather inelegant heap from which the Ryn extricated himself with seemingly practiced ease. “Nay bad, lass. Keep it up!” He smirked, seemingly enjoying this a bit more than he had thought he would.

Getting back to her feet, Tali returned to her ready stance and prepared for another attack, intent on showing him she could do this. Bringing her weapon down in a diagonal cut once again, the blade easily blocked by the Ryn’s knife, she pulled back on her stance and retracted the saber to her side before thrusting at him with a solid, yet quite unbalanced and awkward motion.

The Ryn side-stepped the thrust and pushed the blade aside with his knife, the tip passing by his face thanks to the size difference, before throwing up a minor distraction and preparing his counter. Tali heard a sudden clatter of pots and pans behind her, turning around to see who had made such a ruckus and the next thing she knew was the familiar sensation of gravity pulling her down onto her back as the Ryn swiped her legs from beneath her.

“Frak… Not again…” She managed to think before slamming into the matting with a grunt. She was about to collect herself for a moment when she saw the Ryn jump at her, knife held above his head and seemingly intent on stabbing her through the chest.

Without much of a conscious thought, she rolled aside before swiftly regaining her footing and getting back to her ready stance, blade once again deployed and held out to deter her attacker.

“Wait… let me…” She huffed, but the Ryn was moving again, his failed attack ending in a neat somersault once he realized his prey had moved. Dashing to the side, he swiped his tail down at her leg, forcing the Twi’lek to back away and leaving herself dangerously unbalanced for what was about to come.

Standing with most of her weight on her back foot and the left almost in the air, Tali was easy prey with her blade held up in front of her more akin to a stick than a sword. To further add to her predicament, the sound of blaster fire sounded from behind her and she could almost see the crimson bolts flashing past her.

The Ryn was ready to strike, though the using of his abilities was making him sluggish and wearing him out faster than usual as he waited to find the perfect opening in his dangerously unbalanced foe’s guard. Any moment now she would turn her head and then it would be all over…

Every nerve of survival instinct screamed at her to turn around and bring her guard up at the far more pressing matter of blasters behind her than the overgrown sewage rat with a fancy shiv in front, but through some supreme effort of will Tali managed to sway her natural instincts and instead extended her Force senses to verify the sounds as illusions. Gaining confidence from this, she balanced her stance and gripped her saber with determination, her poise growing visibly sturdier and more controlled as she focused solely on the Ryn and then charged.

It wasn’t much of an attack. More of a savage swing of her blade at roughly the level of the Ryn’s neck, but with his focus spent on the illusion, his reactions were slightly more sluggish than normal and it was only by throwing himself backwards that he was able to avoid a sudden case of beheading though he was rather sure he might be short a few choice strands of fur. Making a very strong mental note not to try that sort of stunt again, he scrambled to his feet as the Twi’lek spun around after having missed her target, bringing her blade down in an overhead blow to strike at him again. It might almost have been considered a solid attack if it weren’t for the fact she barely held her balance throughout and had almost managed to sever her own lek in the process.

Raising his Sith knife up to block the strike, Kordath gritted his teeth as he felt the sparring getting quite intense for a first time session. He had to break the combat apart, but not just yet.

“Keep at it, lass! Yer doin’ fine! Just remember tha control yer anger. We nay want yer slippin’ to that path jus’ yet.” He grinned before pushing back the Twi’lek’s blade with a shove that sent her stumbling backwards thanks to her poor footwork and then got up into a proper fighting stance.

“One more time, lass! Stay calm and dun trust yer senses. Close yer eyes and feel it!” Kordath urged her, the Twi’lek looking rather apprehensive about the idea of fighting with a lit lightsaber without seeing where she was pointing the blade, but something about this diminutive creature’s speech pattern and underlying friendliness managed to convince her.

Closing her eyes, Tali stood near the center of the room, where the Ryn had sat when he’d been ‘meditating’, her left leg in front slightly bent and the right behind her almost straight with the blade held two-handed at the familiar 45 degree angle.

Finally with a moment to collect himself, Kordath manifested a sudden clattering of pots and pans which drew a predictable reaction from the Twi’lek who turned her head towards the source of the sound even if she wouldn’t be able to see a thing. He could see her lips moving and figured she must have realized her mistake as something akin to a curse seemed to slip them before she swiftly returned to her previous stance.

The sound of flapping wings echoed in the chamber and again she seemed to tense up momentarily before returning to her fighting stance once more, this time far quicker than previously.

Kordath began to pace slowly around her, the sound of his footsteps on the matting soft and almost inaudible, but still enough for Tali to hone in on as she kept pointing her blade at him and adjusting her stance to match.

The sound of a whip crack snapped behind her and Tali tensed up, the Ryn throwing himself at her while she was distracted, intent on knocking the lightsaber from her grasp to ensure the takedown was as safe as possible. The Twi’lek, however, recovered almost instantly and sensed the impending danger. Shifting her stance like in a dance, she side-stepped the Ryn’s charge and began her riposte, bringing the blade up for a diagonal slash from her right shoulder.

The reaction had been unexpected, but not a dangerous one. He just needed to block the blow and… his foot landed on something other than the matt as he stepped beside her, the soft cloth rolling from underneath him as he lost his balance. The jacket he’d left sitting in the middle of the room and which he’d ignored entirely was now firmly pinned between his foot and the floor, causing him to wobble and fall even as the blade began to descend.

In such a compromised position the Ryn suddenly knew he’d screwed up. Big time. As the glowing yellow blade descended on him almost like in slow motion he reacted in the only way he knew he could yet stop it. Focusing all his efforts into a singular illusion, he threw it at Tali like a tidal wave.

The smell of an unwashed Toydarian assaulted her nose, the coarse texture of its skin brushing her lekku and the sharp barking sound he spat was as piercing as any whip lash she’d ever felt. The word he uttered so debased and wrong, his tone of voice so devoid of anything but loathing and absolute disgust at this… thing which he spoke to it caused Tali to simply cease up entirely, her body twitching as if struck by a neuro whip.

The sword blow never came as Kordath watched the Twi’lek stall mid-swing, the blade slipping from her grasp a moment before she collapsed onto the floor in a quivering heap, the girl drawing shallow panicked breaths like a fish on dry land.

Panting hard and running his paws over his body to make sure he was all whole, he scurried over to the broken Twi’lek and placed a hand on her shoulder. It had been an extreme measure and one which he was not in the least proud of resorting to, but he was still alive and so was she.

Tali visibly recoiled at his touch, still reeling from the sensation which had brought bile rushing up into her mouth and left her mind raw and bewildered. “W-why…?” She muttered hoarsely as she opened her eyes and look at the Ryn, eyes wide in shock and confusion.

He did not really know what to say, but merely blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. “Ahm sorry, lass. Didn’t mean ta hurt ya. Ya were about tah strike me. Ah had nay other choice…” He muttered in his defense as he offered a hand to help her up. “Ah didn’t mean it, ah swear…”

Glancing at the furry paw, Tali gingerly took it and stood up with his assistance, though the movement was less than elegant thanks to the size difference between them.

“Please, never speak that word to anyone ever again…” She muttered with a tone as cold as ice.

He glanced at her and then nodded, figuring that was the only suitable response to her demand.

“Ah won’t.” He affirmed solemnly before pausing for a moment and then continuing in a more diplomatic tone. “Lemme make it up to ya. Drinks on me?” The Ryn suggested as a gesture of repentance at what he’d made her go through.

Picking up her lightsaber, Tali glanced at the Ryn and sighed. “Sure. I could use a stiff one…” She replied and handed the jacket that had almost cost him his life to the Ryn that was doing his damndest not to chuckle at the most inopportune of times.

“Ahm sure that can be arranged.” He replied with a faint cough. “Ah know a place nearby.”

As the two filed away from the training room and headed to the elevators, she suddenly voiced a question that had bothered her. “How did you know that much about Toydarians? The smell, the skin…?” She asked as he turned to look at him with a quizzical expression.

“Erm…” The Ryn coughed awkwardly, feeling quite unprepared to answer such a question. “It be a long story, lass...”

Adept Alaris Jinn, 10 December, 2016 8:11 PM UTC

Story

...Kordath chuckled, barely aware of his poor choice of words in the presence of the former pleasure slave.

Legitimately made me cringe a bit. Keeping it PG-13 by not specifically referencing rape but still heavily implied it. Really great work.

...overgrown sewage rat...

Loved this.

“Please, never speak that word to anyone ever again…”

I'm not sure exactly what word it was, maybe keeping it PG-13, but I did gather it was pretty hateful and hurtful. The only problem was that I scored through the post trying to find if I missed it or not.


Syntax

his foot landed on something other than the matt as he stepped beside her,

Too many Ts in mat.


Continuity

The jacket he’d left sitting in the middle of the room and which he’d ignored entirely was now firmly pinned between his foot and the floor...

Great reference to a previous post.