Battlemaster Takagari "DarkHawk" KogaRyu vs. Savant Blade Ta'var

Battlemaster Takagari "DarkHawk" KogaRyu

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Naga Sadow
Male Human, Sith, Shadow
vs.

Savant Blade Ta'var

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Odan-Urr
Female Zeltron, Force Disciple, Arcanist
Comment

This was a pretty straight forward match. DarkHawk did a good job driving the set up for the story, and Blade took it and ran away with it. Blade demonstrated a complete and total understanding of both Character Sheets in terms of how she told the story. I actually cared about the outcome of the match for both characters(not just one sided). Both of them had their motivations, and Blade's creative use of items and weapons made the fight enjoyable to read. DarkHawk had a bunch of small repeated syntax flow errors that added up, and had a few confusing moments in how he described action.

In the end, Blade demonstrated an overall proficiency that placed the match in her hands and delivered an enjoyable match. Great work, both of you. I look forward to reading more matches from each of you.

-W

Hall Phase I: Winds of Change [GJWXII]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Competition [GJW XII Event Long] Combat Writing - ACC Ladder
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Battlemaster Takagari "DarkHawk" KogaRyu, Savant Blade Ta'var
Winner Savant Blade Ta'var
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Battlemaster Takagari "DarkHawk" KogaRyu's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Savant Blade Ta'var's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Coruscant: Level 1313
Last Post 3 July, 2017 2:30 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae
Syntax - 15%
Adept DarkHawk Sadow Aurora "Aura" Ta'var
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: Repeated errors throughout, but nothing that stopped me from reading the fight. Rationale: I found my one thing. You were very close to my first 5 though.
Story - 40%
Adept DarkHawk Sadow Aurora "Aura" Ta'var
Score: 3 Score: 5
Rationale: Straight forward story. You set things up organically, and then followed through with an unexpected but resolute ending. Rationale: This is an example of telling a good story within the confines of a "shorter" match format. It worked very well from beginning to end and really made a case of point for the match to be happening. You delved into each character's philosophical differences and presented them in contrast to one another.
Realism - 25%
Adept DarkHawk Sadow Aurora "Aura" Ta'var
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: The only two things that jumped out were how Takagari kept up with Blade who was a better saberist, and the confusing attempt to use a Force Power you did not have on your sheet. Rationale: I'm highlighting your presentation of DarkHawk's Athletics +4 and how it you had him winded and slower after not too much fighting. I know what Endurance 0 means, but the athletic score should have had him in an okay state after not too much action and some time to rest/hide behind the crates and between dialogue.
Continuity - 20%
Adept DarkHawk Sadow Aurora "Aura" Ta'var
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues I found. Rationale: No issues I found.
Adept DarkHawk Sadow's Score: 3.65 Aurora "Aura" Ta'var's Score: 4.6
Posts

Coruscant Level 1313

So named because it is located one thousand, three hundred, and thirteen levels from the core of Coruscant, Level 1313 is distanced from the politics of the upper levels. Overlooking the chasm burrowing further into Coruscant’s core, one can watch freighters transporting their illicit cargo between levels. One misstep would send the careless careening into the bottomless pit, or aid the local gangs in staging “accidents.”

Weathered duracrete forms the retainer along the chasm wall, built in concentric rings that descend down an untold height. Strengthened with solid durasteel braces, maintenance has not been needed this far into Coruscant for a long time. Nevertheless, droids pre-programmed to fill in the cracks and crevices that might form in the walls float on repulsorlifts without drawing attention from the criminal gangs; themselves, being focused on their next smuggling operation or struggle for control over Coruscant’s scum-filled underbelly.

DarkHawk watched the chasm, carefully studying the incoming and outgoing ships.   His eyes scanned all the workers and droids doing their due diligence of the day. Bringing back up the dossier file of the target he had been meticulously studying, taking notes of mannerisms, looking for similarities to the others he had been watching.

A hailing call emanated in his ear piece.  Opening the channel the DRK-1 droid started feeding footage from one of the work areas of Level 1313.  As his eyes scanned the footage, a small blip caught his eye near some stacked supply canisters by the West wall.

“There!  DK, scan that area above the canisters again.” DarkHawk instructed.

The DRK-1 moved in very stealthily, sliding in between beams and dura-steel forms awaiting to be installed.  As the DRK-1 made its way around a pile of scrap metal, the Equite’s keen observation was confirmed.  An ED9-s54 Spy Droid, no doubt scouting intel for its master.

DarkHawk pulled his Nightsister bow, touched the release button and it snapped into form.  Taking position behind a makeshift workbench, the Equite drew the bow back into firing position.  Like many times before, he carefully placed his target inside the peep sight.  Breathing shallow, his firing hand resting perfectly on his jaw line where he had fired from countless times before.  The blue hue of the plasma bow highlighted his face and his sharp eye kept the target in the crosshairs.

The spy droid whipped around as it caught sight of Takagari’s DRK-1.  Making the mistake of elevating itself just enough to get a shot off and, before it could start transmitting any intel, DarkHawk let his shot fly true.

Just as the ED9 edged itself closer to the DRK-1, the shot made contact, smashing the droid into the adjacent wall and crashing it to the floor.

“She knows we are here DK, come back to me and stay out of sight.”

DarkHawk knew the shot did not destroy the ED9, but it was out of commission for the moment.  His little droid made an immediate U-turn and started its own diagnostic calculations of evasion maneuvers.

Takagari made his way across a loading platform, keeping in tune to the Force, the familiar feeling reached out to him.  Spinning around, the target which the Equite hunted dropped onto the platform from above.  Takagari was irritated at himself that the element of surprise fell to her favor and not his.  She obviously caught the intel from her ED9 and found his position.

“You destroyed my droid, Battlemaster.” Ta’var sneered.

“Savant Ta’var, your reputation precedes you, Ma’am.  It is an honor,” DarkHawk said as he bowed to the lady in front of him.

She made an elegant curtsey to the Battlemaster, and Takagari nodded in acknowledgment.

“By the way, your ED9 is merely…incapacitated for the moment,” he said with a smirk.

The two made small circling steps around the loading platform.  Each practitioner sizing up the other one and looking for an initial opening.  DarkHawk was still carrying his bow in one hand, and Ta’var made a mental note of it.  She drew her Katana, the blade scraping the sheath as she drew the elegant weapon.  The sound echoed throughout the platform.  Most would find that sound intimidating, DarkHawk, on the other hand, found that sound very comforting.

Both seemed at ease in the situation, neither showing any outward signs of discomfort.  Ta’var stood with her katana in a high guard stance.  DarkHawk kept his bow at the ready holding a wide side stance.  The two knew the moment of the battle was approaching, so in typical fashion, Takagari made the first move.  In a quick-footed lunge, the Equite closed the gap between the two.  Ta’var brought her blade down in a diagonal slash as her aggressor approached.  

DarkHawk, using his bow, blocked her move.  The Savant then came at the Battlemaster with a backhanded lower attack right into a backhanded lower attack.  The Sith spun the bow like a baton and blocked the counter attack.  Momentum of the block carried him into a twist which he used to execute a leg sweep, knocking the Savant to the floor.

DarkHawk rolled away, Ta’var nipped up to her feet, and the two faced off once more.

Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae, 3 July, 2017 8:31 PM UTC

Bringing back up the dossier file of the target he had been meticulously studying, taking notes of mannerisms, looking for similarities to the others he had been watching.

Your syntax is off here. It needs to be broken up into two parts, and the tense needs to not shift.

Breathing shallow, his firing hand resting perfectly on his jaw line where he had fired from countless times before.

Tense issues, again.

Most would find that sound intimidating, DarkHawk, on the other hand, found that sound very comforting.

Needs to be broken up into two sentences or written out differently for it to be grammatically sound.

The Savant then came at the Battlemaster with a backhanded lower attack right into a backhanded lower attack.

Confusing description of action here. Not really sure what you were trying to describe.

The Zeltron returned her katana to its sheath, watching the Sith closely lest he get away. DarkHawk gave her a confused look, but not for long. Aura swung her fist through the air and imagined it striking into the Sith’s jaw, unleashing the Force into a focused punch. DarkHawk staggered to his left as it made an impact, his hand lightly pushing off the ground as the man righted himself. The Odanite was already swinging again, but this time the Sith knew what was coming. The man dived to his right, turning it into a roll as he fell.

DarkHawk ran behind some cargo boxes nearby, getting a little help as Aura’s last punch pushed him forward by barely clipping him. The Sith immediately crouched out of view and snuck behind a new crate, catching his breath in the process. He reached out to the Force and immediately focused on making himself invisible, starting at his head.

The Odanite concentrated as she reached out to the Force, feeling a darker presence behind the cluster of boxes. She flexed a hand as the momentary urge to fling the boxes towards the wall threatened to override strategy. Aura didn’t like Sith, particularly ones that hid and followed her around. She took a deep breath and reminded herself of her original mission: gather intelligence and get out.

Not here to kill a Sith. Stay on target!

Fear gripped her, a subtle pull that had some credence of late. She had made plenty of powerful enemies, each of which had loyal followers willing to hunt her down for revenge. First, there was Grand Master himself. Perhaps his minions still wished her harm. Then, of course, there was Clan Scholae Palatinae, who were probably still mourning over the loss of Judecca. Despite her general dislike of DarkHawk solely because he was a Sith, Aura focused on her curiosity and the unanswered questions she had yet to ask.

Let’s see what you know, Sith...

“Did one of the Grandmaster’s thugs send you?” Aura asked.

“No.”

“Someone from Scholae Palatinae?”

“Wrong again. I serve Clan Naga Sadow,” replied DarkHawk.

Aura reached out to the Force, seeking out her opponent. He was slowly moving around the boxes, coming closer with each step.

“I see. I have no quarrels with you, Sith. Why are you here? What do you want? ”

The man froze for a moment, not yet out in the open, and considered his next words carefully. Aura waited.

“I’m here because I made a promise to help my Clan. I was told you serve the Lotus. Like many, I’m trying to find Darth Pravus, if he is even still alive. I think you can help me,” explained DarkHawk.

“Do you? I wish nothing but ill will towards him. How would I know where he is?”

“Don’t play games. I’ve studied you closely. You found something.”

Aura felt the man creep closer again. He would soon be within striking range again. Unease filled her gut as she thought of everything he might have seen.

“Say I have found something, why should I give it to you? What would you do with it?” asked Aura, purposefully walking towards the Sith in the hope she would appear unaware of his approach.

There was no verbal response, but the Force was telling her to move. Aura dodged to her right as DarkHawk’s bow swung through the air like a baton, the rest of his body materializing right before his attack. The Zeltron grabbed her lightsaber and activated it as she countered his initial attack with a quick diagonal slash. The Sith instinctively raised his bow as he backed off to safety, but unfortunately not fast enough. The tip of her saber cut through the limb of the bow, rendering it useless.

DarkHawk glared at Aura and tossed it aside. “Fine, have a taste of my saber.” A bright blue blade came to life with a snap-hiss.

“Finally. But tell me first, what would you do with it?” asked Aura yet again.

“Knowledge is power. Now, give me the info,” demanded DarkHawk.

“What would you do with that power?”

“Many things. Give it to me, now.”

“No. Tell me what you intend to do with it first.”

“I made a promise to retrieve it. No one said you had to live,” threatened the Sith.

Aura raised her saber into a high guard, ready to defend herself.

Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae, 3 July, 2017 8:39 PM UTC

No comments, really. This is the model ACC post.

DarkHawk circled his opponent, making sure he cut off any chance of her slipping by him.  They followed a pattern, one would lead, the other would follow.  Graceful, extreme and to the point as if this dance was practiced a thousand times before.  Takagari, centered himself, Breathe…breathe…, he told himself.  The bow is the least of your worries, calm yourself more.  The Equite reached out with the Force, dissipating any anxiety from the skirmish.

“I feel your presence reading my thoughts, Sith,” The Savant was not appreciative.

DarkHawk wandered the caverns of the Zeltron’s mind.  But only for a moment, her morale compass rang true.  Normally the Sith would cascade unfathomable terrors in the minds of those who opposed him, but the Jedi was an amusing anomaly.

Takagari was briefly taken back at the pure essence of his opponent.  He paused in his relentless pace of cutting her off within their rhythmic motion the two engaged in.  He would not underestimate this Gray Jedi.  Their moral code for killing each of their kind simply paused for a moment in time.

The Savant steadily kept her saber in high guard.  The blue hues of sabers illuminating each of the adversary’s faces.  DarkHawk decided to see how far the Savant would really go to keep her relic.  The Battlemaster’s long handled hilt almost looked like a twig in his hands.  Most practitioners the Savant faced off had a flair for the dramatics, with wasteful motion and saber spinning to catch her off guard.  This Sith was very different, there was none of that, instead he was focused and steady in his movements.   DarkHawk held his saber in his right hand, with his hand in the middle of the long hilt as if it was a baton.  With one quick-footed motion, the Sith skipped forward towards her, never moving the position of his saber.

Ta’var dodged to the right, avoiding the wraith’s frontal attack.  She side stepped with grace, only dropping her high guard slightly.  The Savant immediately realized the attack was a ruse.  The Battlemaster pulled his second saber from his utility belt and activated the igniter switch, allowing the blue blade to emerge.

DarkHawk held his sabers high, crossing the blades. Ta’var never faltered, she stood her ground.  The attack came almost immediately. One saber high, while the other came towards the Savant’s mid section.  Ta’var moved with the momentum of the attack, spinning to her left and blocking the midsection attack.    

High, then low, the two warriors crossed blades mere inches from their bodies.  The Battlemaster had both height and weight advantage, but Ta’var’s quickness and agility was impressive to say the least.  Furthermore, the Gray was definitely holding her own.

“Don’t hold back on my account, Sith.” Ta’var said with a endearing smile.

DarkHawk’s face was emotionless in response.  She could tell he was calculating all his moves in those few seconds.  DarkHawk came again to her front, executing a backhand strike with his left handed saber, striking the Savant’s saber and slightly pushing her to her right.  He continued his own momentum and followed through with his right handed saber almost pushing Ta’var’s blade to the floor.  This maneuver put her body off balance, but a killing blow never followed.  Instead as she pulled her torso upright the Battlemaster caught her with a front kick directly to her sternum.  The toe of his boot scraped the bottom of her chin just before it made impact.  The blow was not deadly by any means, but by no means did the Sith hold back on that encounter.

The impact lifted his assailant in the air and sent her crashing to the back wall of the loading platform.  She fell to the platform, and DarkHawk could hear the air leave her lungs as she gasped.  She staggered to get up then fell limp back to the floor.

The Equite clipped one saber back to his belt as he walked over to gather the pieces of his bow. Takagari looked over at his adversary, she was trying to make her way to her feet again and felt the need to thank the Savant, as he lowered himself to his knees.

“Thank you for allowing me to see my greed, I no longer wish to possess your trinket.”

Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae, 3 July, 2017 8:47 PM UTC

They followed a pattern, one would lead, the other would follow. Graceful, extreme and to the point as if this dance was practiced a thousand times before.

Show me the action, don't just tell me about it. Also Blade is a +4 Lightsaber practitioner against Takagari's +2. It should be more of a struggle for him to keep up wit her blow for blow.

The Equite reached out with the Force, dissipating any anxiety from the skirmish.

Not sure what Force Power you're trying to use here. You'd need something like Control Self, which you don't have.

This Sith was very different, there was none of that, instead he was focused and steady in his movements.

Syntax again.

DarkHawk rushed forward in a series of quick, ferocious strikes. As the Zeltron deflected each attack, she could feel the overwhelming power as his saber beat against her own. Aura waited for the right moment, content to merely deflect or dodge each swing until the path of least resistance revealed itself. After several more swings, she finally found one, noticing how slow he recovered after an overhead attack. The Sith was already breathing hard, his strikes slowing down. The Odanite pounced as he went for another overhead. She slashed left, right and center in a rapid stream of attacks, mercilessly looking to score a hit.

She could almost smell burnt cloth as her saber barely missed before it was batted away. Sweat trickled down DarkHawk’s face as he struggled to keep up, finally forcing Aura to back off as he unleashed a series of desperate, mighty sweeps. She waited for him to make another mistake, except this time he didn’t swing. His hand reached out and electric blue energy shot towards her.

She intercepted it with her blade, but it was merely a diversion. The Sith pulled the pin and dropped a smoke grenade between them, thick smoke bursting forth in streams as the air between them quickly became opaque. Aura choked and ran away from the center of the blast, taking in deep breaths of relief once she finally escaped the cloud. DarkHawk was nowhere to be seen.

“I’m not done with you yet, Sith! What do you want that knowledge for? Tell me! Or should we fight some more…”

Aura didn’t expect an answer, but she got one anyway.

“Have you heard of the great deeds of the ancient Sith Lords? They had power to wield and used it to create empires. What more noble purpose could there be?” said a voice to her right.

“I’m familiar with the tales. For some reason, I don’t think Pravus will let you get that far. That road only leads to heartache and a saber through your back,” replied Aura. She reached out to the Force to find DarkHawk’s presence, walking towards him as she spoke.

“Maybe. But I’ll give it a try and I won’t be alone. Darth Pravus’ days are numbered if he isn’t dead already.”

“So, say you kill him, then you and your friends fight each other for it and harm plenty of innocents along the way. You’re okay with that?”

“If I must. Their deaths will at least be worth something.”

A wave of anger washed over her, followed by the faintest of temptations. The enemy of her enemy was a friend and he could put the intel to good use.

Too many lives at risk. Don’t do it.
But the risk is so low.

She froze in place, her old lifestyle clashing with her newly learned Jedi teachings. She wasn’t sure what to do, so she clung to the only code that mattered: the Jedi Code. Finally, the Sith came into view several meters away. The edge of their level and the bottomless chasm beyond could be seen looming not far behind him.

“Thank you for your answer. Sorry, but I can’t risk it. Too many people might get hurt. Go home, Sith.”

“A foolish choice. I’ll just take it from you,” replied DarkHawk.

The Zeltron glared defiantly and rushed forward to attack. She never quite got there.

DarkHawk pulled the pin on a second grenade and tossed it towards her. Aura instinctively pushed it away from her using the Force. She wouldn’t die on this planet, not to this sleemo. The Sith saw her gesture and pushed back as well, momentarily suspending it between the two of them. Aura pushed back harder, managing to inch it closer to him but not by much.

Kark!

Finally, the explosive went off, followed by a bright explosion of light and sound. The blast wave from the grenade overloaded her senses, causing her to stumble a few feet backward before she fell to the ground, unable to see, hear, or properly move her body. All was quiet, but eventually, her senses returned to her. The Sith was gone, save for a lone shuriken near the edge of the chasm. Aura slowly retreated back to her transport, glad to be alive and finding it hard to summon any compassion for the man.

Good riddance!

Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae, 3 July, 2017 9:02 PM UTC

The Sith was already breathing hard, his strikes slowing down.

They have not been fighting that long, mostly hiding then talking. He has +4 in Athletics. I don't think he'd be labored this quickly. Even with +0 Endurance, it's a bit drastic for him to slump that much. Could be presented a bit better off the bat. It makes more sense in the next paragraph when you bring it up.

The enemy of her enemy was a friend and he could put the intel to good use.

Holy gender-confusion, Batman.