Seer Kordath Bleu vs. Warrior Tahiri Drakon Night-Thorn

Seer Kordath Bleu

Equite 3, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Male Ryn, Force Disciple, Arcanist, Krath
vs.

Warrior Tahiri Drakon Night-Thorn

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Tarentum
Female Togruta, Sith, Shadow
Comment

I almost wish I could have seen this match in a different format. In a longer match, or with a Singular Ending, I could have really gotten into this. Tahiri did an impressive job setting the stage, but just took too long getting us into the heat of the action. Similarly, it took most of Kords second post to finally get us there as well. In a different format, I'd be more lenient, but here I need to be a bit more strict. This is why both writers received a 3 from me, here. Impressively, or maybe because of how sparse the action was in most cases, I didn't find any realism or continuity issues. Both writers made a few typos here and there, so in the end, they came to a tie score. With ties, I start to look at the smaller details to help me determine who will win or lose.

While the scores are tied, Kordath simply wrote a better Final Post, and made the conflict and action more engaging to read. If we gave half-points, he would have gotten a 3.5 to Tahiri's 3.0 in Story. Since we don't, I'm making the call based on the stronger action writing in the match.

Kord wins this one, but I would love to see both of you fighting again sometime under a different format.

-W

Hall Phase I: Winds of Change [GJWXII]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Competition [GJW XII Event Long] Combat Writing - ACC Ladder
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Seer Kordath Bleu, Warrior Tahiri Drakon Night-Thorn
Winner Seer Kordath Bleu
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Seer Kordath Bleu's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Warrior Tahiri Drakon Night-Thorn's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Dromund Kaas: Dark Temple Ruins
Last Post 13 July, 2017 5:09 PM UTC
Assigned Judge Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae
Syntax - 15%
General Stres'tron'garmis Adept Tahiri Thorn Morte Tarentae
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: One or two small errors. Rationale: Few small errors.
Story - 40%
General Stres'tron'garmis Adept Tahiri Thorn Morte Tarentae
Score: 3 Score: 3
Rationale: You did a good job working a story into the venue and the overall theme of the event. Your final post really saved you with good action/pacing, and an ending that worked for me. The first post was just too much exposition for this style of match, which holds your story score back from a 4. Rationale: I really like how you set up the match and worked the venue in. I think you write very well, but in this format of match, even with your second post, there just wasn't enough action to drive the conflict forward for me. There was nothing wrong that stood out, but also nothing super power.
Realism - 25%
General Stres'tron'garmis Adept Tahiri Thorn Morte Tarentae
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues. Rationale: No issues.
Continuity - 20%
General Stres'tron'garmis Adept Tahiri Thorn Morte Tarentae
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: Nothing I noted. Rationale: Nothing I noted.
General Stres'tron'garmis's Score: 4.05 Adept Tahiri Thorn Morte Tarentae's Score: 4.05
Posts

Dromund Kaas Dark Temple Ruins

Abandoned and forgotten, the ruins of the Dark Temple have slowly succumbed to the erosion of time. In the central chamber—the walls have crumbled, the ceiling has caved in, and the jungle now flourishes within the once pristine halls.

Green light filters itself through the temple, mixing eerily with the dark, violet hue of Dromund Kaas’ sky. Lightning flickers overhead, the raw energy of the Force clashing high above. The floor is overgrown with flora, large plants and grasses that have swallowed the old stone. Wild creatures roam freely, skittering away from the presence of intruders while vicious predators hide just out of sight.

The main hall is lined on both sides by towering statues, heads bowed in supplication. They stand in deference to the sculpture of a pure-blooded Sith, which towers over the chamber with outstretched arms. The sculpture has been split diagonally down the middle, as if cleaved in two by a rusted blade, but the majesty in the stone still echoes to the past.

On either side of the main hall, remnants of branches to inaccessible parts of the temple remain. One might tilt their head to take in what is left of the mezzanine—the balcony overlooking the chamber—still held aloft by the great pillars standing behind the statues. Several of the pillars have fallen, providing a pathway up to the mezzanine for those willing to take the risk for higher ground. Spirits of the Sith are rumoured to still haunt the grounds—waiting for poor, misguided fools to walk blindly into their domain.

The atmosphere within the temple was airy with soft green light bouncing off the greenery, and yet constantly darkened with bright streaks of lightning, making it feel as though like a strange homecoming. Standing near the base, Tahiri looked up at the huge Sith statue, outstretching his hand, as if to take her deeper into his dark embrace. After hearing the intel which proclaimed that this was one of the last places the Grand Master had been, before he mysteriously disappeared, Tahiri had volunteered to take on the recon mission to check it out.

Moments ago, she had found large even sections of dead brush singed in areas near the base of each statue, all made the suggestion that someone had been there not too long ago. Clearly sabers and vibroswords. Someone was looking for something specific.

The Sith walked over to the right of the statue, to one of the piles of fallen columns that seemed to form a precarious, and promising, path up to the broken and overgrown mezzanine. Wonder if there is anything to found up there?

Sprinting and then using a rock as a launch pad, she sprang gracefully up onto the nearest fallen column. Carefully, she walked up as far as she could go to the next column and then leapt on top of the next column. The sound of a skittering rock across floor of the temple caught her attention, as she stopped climbing and immediately pressed her body close to the green covered surface. Hoping she was not too late, she reached for the Force weaving it around her form, obscuring her from view. Hopefully he doesn’t look up.

Near the entrance stood a lithe, gray skinned man. His stark white hair stuck straight up, and almost seemed to glow after every lightning strike pierced the dark sky outside. He looked around, carefully cautious, but did not seem to notice her. He took a few more cautious steps into the temple, then stopped and waited for a few moments. The sounds of jungle and almost constant thunder were the only things that could be heard. The Ryn cocked his head listening for a tense minute, then smiled to himself as he walked farther into the temple.

He was not pleased that he had been chosen to go on this recon mission, but he would do what his clan needed of him. Kordath did not like the dark feeling of this place, even with all of the lush green colors, he could not shake the feeling that something may or was watching him. He stole another glance around the temple before proceeding even farther. Noticing the even edge of cut vines, he wandered over to the opposite side of the temple.

Tahiri watched the newcomer cross the temple floor away from her, breathing a small sigh of relief, curious as to what clan he was from and to what he maybe doing here. Was he here for a similar reason as I am, or for something else? she wondered to herself, as she studied the Ryn. He did not have very many weapons on him, but she did not like to judge by weapons alone.

As she slowly adjusted her position on the column to better watch the man, the rock beneath both her feet gave way. Her concentration slipped as she slid down the column a bit, quickly grasping at any hand holds to stop herself. Her hand grabbed at a vine, but it was far too thin to take her weight. She slipped off the side of the column, heading feet first for the floor below. She gathered the Force into her muscles and landed as softly as she could. Though the falling rocks had alerted the Ryn to her presence.

Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae, 16 July, 2017 7:32 PM UTC

Moments ago, she had found large even sections of dead brush singed in areas near the base of each statue, all made the suggestion that someone had been there not too long ago.

This would be better as two sentences and turns into a runnon as is.


I really liked how this post was written and set up, but it did take a took long for the action to kick in, albeit in the last few lines.

Kordath was not happy with this place; it made his skin crawl and hair, all of it, stand up on end. He twitched and tried not to jump out of his boots when he heard a tumble of rocks behind him, glancing back and staring for a few long moments. This place gave him the bloody creeps. Anytime he pushed out with the Force to get a feel for it, to see if some clue of the Grand Master's visit to the temple could be found, he came back with unsettling sensations.

Bloody Sith, bloody Dark Siders, bloody lunatics who can nae just stay dead, he thought with a sigh. The rocks that fell were just as likely from the degrading state of the temple as they were a result of a blasted Sith spirit haunting the place. Thinking ghosts of long dead Force users were karkin’ with him didn’t make things any better.

He moved further into the main hall, trying to shake off the sensation.Picking his way through fallen rock and debris, his route took him towards the previously spotted trimmed back vines. It was suspicious and it quickly became more apparent when he reached the wall that his intuition had been right.

Bleu reached out and gently laid his hand on the stonework, running it across a pattern that had been etched into it. This was no mural or piece of art, this was...

"A star chart?" he murmured to himself, squinting and turning his head. His skills at reading such things were next to nil, but it could be critical. Or it could be a millennia old. With a deep breath to steel himself, well aware that what he was about to attempt was dangerous, he used the Force and his physical connection with the wall to dredge up the past.

Visions flashed through his mind. A tall Human in white robes staring intently at this very same etching. Other, darker memories of the temple tried to encroach, pushing through and breaking up the mental imagery in dark and terrible ways.

Kordath stumbled back from the wall, turning away with one hand at his head, the other keeping him from slamming face first into the flagstones as he collapsed. He heaved, his stomach emptying itself on the stones as the darkness drove him to vomit and sweat. He rolled onto his back, panting and feeling the perspiration sticking his shirt to his back. His vision blurred as well as perspiration ran down into his eyes.

When he opened his eyes anew, it was with a look of surprise. A blood red blade, vibrating at high frequency, was held inches from his face. He followed the length of the blade, up a matte black armored arm to a face he'd almost have called cute if not for the Dark Side tainted yellow eyes glaring down at him.

"Uh, hi," he began to say before the tip of the vibrosword inched closer.

"Speak when spoken to; I don't know what tricks you have up your sleeve, Ryn. Now," she stated, gesturing with her offhand, which also held a sword, at the nearby wall, "what did you see? You're tracking Pravus as well, aren't you? Speak, and maybe I won't remove your head where you lie."

Yeah, like she's gonna let me leave here with all me bits still attached, he thought grimly. He licked his lips and gave her a weak smile, aware of the streaks of drying vomit in his beard giving him an unpleasant appearance.

"Old Sithy things, luv, nothin' ta do with any of that. Pravus? What's a Pravus?"

"Do not lie to me!" she yelled, pulling back to thrust her blade at him.

He twisted where he lay, swinging his feet towards her own. It was with some surprise to him that his blow connected; she must have been so focused on skewering him that she never thought he'd pull it off. He heard her curse as he swept her ankles out, sending her sprawling as he kept the spin going to bring himself up to a standing position. For a moment it looked as if he would fall right back down, dizziness from his recent sick up making him unsteady.

With a growl, she launched herself from the floor towards him, blades out. The Ryn ducked and weaved, struggling to pull his blades from their sheathes to meet the attack.

Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae, 16 July, 2017 7:39 PM UTC

He moved further into the main hall, trying to shake off the sensation.Picking

space

Good storytelling, just, there is still barely any action after both your firsts posts.

Tahiri watched with amusement as the Ryn fumbled for his blades, desperately and barely evading her own blades. Continuing, she pushed him further backwards toward the base of the same statue he had been looking at before.

“I know you saw something,” she exclaimed. “Now. Tell. Me. What. You. Saw!” Enunciating every single word as she thrusted and spun forward.

Kordath tried to move quickly out of the way, but was caught by an expertly executed kick causing him to be driven against the cold stone base with a hard thud. Trying to catch his breath, the small lapse in concentration allowed the Sith Togruta to land a slashing blow. Gasping in pain, he felt her black blade carve its way diagonally across his chest.

Tahiri paused for a moment as the Ryn clutched at his chest with his left hand, still managing to keep a grip on the Inquisitorius Dagger. Taking a few steps back as he tried to swipe at her with the Sapphire blade. He’s weakening. That vision he had must have drained him quite a bit. I’m amazed he is still standing. Even though she could physically see him slowly weakening, Tahiri did not want to underestimate him. She had seen other opponents go down, and then come right back up moments later stronger and faster than before. She carefully watched him as he leaned against the stone, her muscles staying tense and at the ready for anything.

Kordath could feel the blood seeping from his wound. Kark! This is bad. This woman being here and searching for Pravus, the same time he was, just added to his uneasiness about the situation. He watched the woman's movements, and could sense that she had switched from offensive to defensive. Realizing this, he decided to try once more to reason with her. “Listen luv, there seems to be more goin’ on here than meets the eye,” he said slowly, relaxing just a little. ‘Maybe you and I could help one another out, you know team up. Find stuff together, hmmm?”

Cocking her left eyebrow in a curiosity and lowering her blades a little, still alert in case of a trap, she gave the Ryn a small nod. “Well? Please go on, I’m interested to hear what you have to offer.” She gestured with left sword tip, “Or is this just one of your tricks to keep me from killing you?” A smirk tugged at the corner of her black lips.

She could feel that he was nervous as she noticed the Ryn gulp a bit, and then finally reply, “Well, I guess you could look at it from both ways. I do have something to offer you, and I would really rather prefer to keep livin’.” With a small chuckle and flashing a bile stained smile at her, he pulled himself up a little.

Ah ha, he does know something. I knew it! Suddenly a realization hit her. Damn, how could I have been a fool. If we’re both here looking for intel on Pravis, it won’t be long until someone else comes looking here. I need to get the info from him and get out of this place before somebody else arrives.

“So do we have a deal?” Kordath asked again, slightly confused as the Togruta glanced towards the entrance and then back at him for a moment. He started to gather himself for an attack, but was pleasantly surprised.

“Alright,” she replied with a sigh. Sheathing only her red bladed vibrosword, she continued sternly, “But mark my words, you make one move I don’t like and it will be your last. Now, tell me what you saw, and I swear upon my honor as a warrior that you leave here alive.” With that she sheathed her second sword as well.

After a moment of silence, the Ryn sheathed his Sapphire blade, and gestured with his dagger to the markings on the wall. “All I saw was a white cloaked figure looking at those, then darkness and horror from long ago. That is it, I swear.”

Looking at him and then back at the markings, she nodded and then taking out a data pad from a hidden pocket, she scanned the wall. “Thank you,” she flashed him a smile as she turned to leave. “Oh and you might want to get that wound bandaged up soon.” Pressing a button on her wrist link she radioed in to be pick up.

Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae, 16 July, 2017 7:45 PM UTC

Cocking her left eyebrow in a curiosity and lowering her blades a little

in curiosity

If we’re both here looking for intel on Pravis,

Pravus

Vibroblades skipped across his own weapons, causing the Arconan to scuttle backward after the blow. This was not a good fight for him, and he had the distinct impression that he'd already be dead if this crazed Togruta didn't want information out of him. As it was, still somewhat unsteady on his feet, he was forced to split his focus between defending himself and not tripping over rubble.

He seemed to be better off than the woman attacking him; she was focused on him to an extent that was unsettling. He was surviving off a combination of reflexes, situational awareness and the guidance of the Force; but he wasn't making any headway. As she spun through another attack, nearly tripping over a stone as she did so, her cloak billowed out.

Kordath ducked back, expecting the move to be hiding some attack, before noticing the symbol on it.

Tarenti? She's from bloody Tarentum!? Maybe I can turn this, eh?

The Ryn focused on the space before him, half-conscious of the woman setting herself for a fresh attack. He was thankful he was quicker, but if this kept going, he'd be minced. The Force flowed through him, and with half-closed eyes he saw her vibroswords slam into an invisible wall, skipping off of the ethereal shield.

"Really?" she growled in annoyance.

"Thought we could use a wee bit o' a time-out, luv," he managed to say through gritted teeth, concentrating on maintaining his shield. "Look, you're from Tarentum, yeah? Now, I know ya got no reasons ta trust me, o' course, but I'm a friend, eh? Arcona Invictsomethin', allies, long time friends. Let's make a deal!"

Her response was to batter at his barrier. "You already lied about your purpose, 'Arconan.' Why would I bother treating with you now?"

The last bit turned out to be more rhetorical in nature as she slashed her blades across his Force-fueled shield once more. It shattered silently and forced him back once more, almost tripping over an upturned flagstone as he did. That cost him, as the blade of her offhand sword slid across his left arm, slicing effortlessly through his coat and producing a flash of trailing blood through the air.

Kordath hissed in pain, feeling some of the strength go out of his grip as pain shot down from the wound. His sleeve was already starting to cling to his arm as it soaked up blood, the adrenaline of the fight pumping it out all the quicker. He dropped the Sapphire Blade that he'd wielded in that hand and scuttled back, groping for one of the flash grenades hidden away inside his jacket. His grip was fumbling already, and he sighed as the blood loss triggered his bio-implant. Thickening agents pumped through his blood to speed the clotting process.

With awkward, numb fingers he managed to grasp a grenade, glaring at the woman. He'd tried to be polite, he'd tried to parley, and she'd cut him instead. Lying had helped get him into this mess, he figured, so doubling down couldn't hurt. With a tired wave, he pulled the grenade from his coat and held it up above his head, showing it clearly to the woman. His thumb hooked through the pin, lifting and pulling it far enough to show the strain on the mechanism.

"I'll blow us both ta 'ell, lady, back off!" he shouted, trying to keep a straight face.

The Togruta paused, blades held up in apprehension.

"You wouldn't dare. The way you fight reeks of cowardice, you'd never kill yourself just to take me with you."

"Ya know, in any other situation I'd be askin' if ya wanted ta go have a drink, lass, but yer a bit stab-happy right now. Shame, ya seem rather fit," he said with a grin. "Besides, blowin' meself up has gotta hurt less than gettin' skewered, eh?"

She narrowed sulfuric eyes towards him, "Are you hitting on me while threatening to kill us both?"

"Figured I'd give charm one more shot," he spoke with a shrug before popping the pin out and languidly tossing it forward.

He heard the woman curse in an unladylike fashion as the grenade bounced across the stones. With his last reserves, he pulled the Force to his muscles, giving his legs the power to run.


When the flash cleared, he was gone. At least the etchings remained, she decided, though if she saw the Ryn again, she was going to take his blasted tail as a trophy.

Exarch Marick Tyris Arconae, 16 July, 2017 7:57 PM UTC

Good action here, at least. Good final post.